I feel guilty as F0ck whenever I eat more than my mentally designated portion of food. Mostly it's when I don't feel full. I take a second serving and feel so guilty about it. I feel like literal trash.
I've been working really hard to lose weight this last year and I have successfully reduced it too. I'm down 18 kilos from my highest recorded weight. And everytime I eat more I feel like I'll gain it all back again. I know that this is a dumb and baseless sentiment, but I can't get it out of my head. Especially since I just checked and I gained .5 kilos.
Since the holidays are coming up and I'll have family visiting, I don't know how I'll eat. I feel sick when I think of eating a huge amount, but I know I'll do it just the same.
I eat and then I hate myself. I can't imagine starving myself. I'd like to not eat as much, but I can't bear being hungry. Food is such an important part of my daily life that I can't think of living without it, but at the same time I don't know how I can eat anymore without the hate.
I just want to lose weight!