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My friends are talking about the Before Times when we used to go out dancing and the conversation reminded me of a waltzing club meeting I attended in college where we were assigned random partners and I kept getting paired up with one really tall and absolutely gorgeous woman who was really good at leading and holy shit how did it take me 3 whole years after that day to realize that I'm into women

#i don't know how i forgot about her #like #know that i remember that day I'm remembering all sorts of details about her #the way she smiled when i got a move right #the way she caught me when i tripped over my own feet #(tbh i was probably distracted by her and i didn't even realize it)#the way she complimented me when we finished the first part of the lesson and switched partners #ugh #now i remember the guy i was paired with after that #and he was a pretty good partner too #but compared to Her #god I'm such an idiot she might have been flirting with me #and i was still too hung up on being ace that it didn't even occur to me that i love women

Some people sleepwalk. I apparently sleep-strip. Every so often I'll wake up to find that at some point in the night I've removed an article of clothing, usually my pants. The weirdest thing is that I usually either fold them or lay them out on top of these blanket next to my legs

#i don't understand #i'm tempted to get one of those cameras meant for tracking sleep walking #but i'm also perfectly okay with just dealing with waking up without pants on every so often

Pros of living on the top floor of an apartment building: no noisy neighbors stomping around above me

Cons of living on the top floor: it's that much more concerning when you hear something in the attic above you

#i'm pretty sure it's just squirrels #i'm praying that it's just squirrels #i'm also too chickenshit to check it out by myself

I'm having a reaction/ breakout from a new deodorant I'm trying out, and the breakout happens to be right where part of my bra rubs against my skin. My options are to go about my day as usual and end up with a large irritated patch of skin, or try to limit the movement of my left arm... this should be fun

#i give up on natural deodorants #I guess i'm stuck going without deodorant on sampling days or trying to make my own again #bc that worked soooo well last time

I'm convinced that my blue ray player is cursed. It just turns on randomly, and every so often it'll turn on and take over whatever other source I'm using

#like it just kicked me off my chromecast to show me the menu and to remind me that there's no disc in if #cool thanks #it's not like i was watching stuff or anything

Casually chugging water during the commercial breaks to make up for how much I'm fucking SOBBING during the finale

#i'm watching the good place #i already hate endings #but a final episode that's literally about endings #spoilers #i guess??#not really

My parents are ranting about the gays "shoving homosexual relationships down America's throats" and it's shit like this that makes me cower so far back in the closet that I'm almost to Narnia

#😕#oh boy here comes the 'wake up sheeple" discussion too #and they wonder why I'm in such a hurry to leave #ugh #i haven't spent time with people that I'm actually out to in months #and it's draining #I'm gonna snap one of these days #i just need to make sure I'm 100% independent before i do #just in case

Just got really concerned that the food in the microwave sounded like it was exploding. I'm making popcorn. It's supposed to do that

#i'm an idiot

My friends are having a very serious discussion about climate change in our group chat at the same time that we're giving crepe making advice to a friend on our snapchat group

#i love it #the future is now

Just tried to unlock my front door with my car keys... I'm an idiot

#happy Tuesday y'all

The AC in the front part of the office hasn't been working for the last week, so every morning at 8 am, there's the ritual turning on of the box fans

#our admin just walked past announcing 'it's fan time everyone turn on your fans'

There's something really relaxing about evenings in the midwest. It's nice and cool, there's the faint booming of fireworks being set off, and the field behind my apartment is filled with fireflies

#let's just ignore the part where I'm being eaten alive by mosquitoes...#seriously though #i miss the hell out of cali #but moments like this make me feel like this could be home

"Business to casual just by throwing your tie over your shoulder"

#lol #fucking ben #I'm in fucking boston baby #technical conference

I'm in Boston at a work conference, and all my easy coast friends and I stayed up until like 2am. Now we have to act professional and schmooze with people, and I'm going to need a lot of coffee to function today

#yay being an adult

Looks like I'll forever be cursed by upstairs neighbors who scream sneeze and honk when they blow their noses

I had one beer on an empty stomach, and now I'm all teary eyed about how proud of my little brother I am

#I've been helping him write papers for english classes since he was a freshman in high school #5 years later his writing has improved so much #like #the first time I helped him write an essay we spent about 8 hours on it together #because it needed that much work #tonight we spent 20 min talking about the paper and it was good to go #I'm so proud of my baby brother that I'm almost crying #i think that's a good sign I need to go to bed 😆

My brother forgot that ukeleles were a thing and he asked why the guy going through the airport security line had such a tiny guitar

#he's *so* pretty

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