Ranting Cathartic

Crap my mother-in-law says and other passive aggressions….. Now available with nuts!

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Happy Halloween

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My Anthem

Today, an old Italian man asked me to sing the National Anthem with him on the sidewalk. I did it. (Because who turns down a patriotic old man)

My husband walked up looking amused.

The man then proceeds to ask if my husband was my son.

I am 38 and he is 34.

I have certainly had better days but come on!

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My favorite new shirt

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A headline in today's news

A headline in today’s news

“George Harrison Memorial Tree Eaten by Actual Beetles”

I’m torn as to whether this is irony or coincidence

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"Months"?!?! Really, lady? "Months"?!?!

“Months”?!?! Really, lady? “Months”?!?!

I recently heard a woman chatting another woman up about her “baby”. This is a direct quote:

“So, I am trying to cut down on the late night breast-feeding for my 42month old. He’s up at 1am and then again at 4am….but it’s hard though because we are still co-sleeping”

I’m a believer that every mother should raise her babies however they see fit, but you don’t get to say “months” anymore,…

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Beef Jerky, Gasoline and Churros

Beef Jerky, Gasoline and Churros

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a boyfriend who drove a monster truck with the personalized license plate IGTUWET.

He always smelled of beef jerky, gasoline and churros; although I cannot remember any of those items ever being around.

He had a big dumb (but sweet) dog.

Dogs and their owners tend to take on each other’s characteristics.

  To recap:

In high school,  I had a boyfriend…

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Nothing To Sneeze At

Nothing To Sneeze At

My baby sneezed directly into my mouth yesterday and then (to make it just awful) I had a reflex action and spit on my baby. I blame the overwhelming urge to make ridiculous over exaggerated faces while holding her up to my face

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Baby Bird! That's my girl!

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http://wp.me/p4wonK-20

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Faux Pas Fo Sho: Part Trois

Faux Pas Fo Sho: Part Trois

Let me set the scene.

Yet again, working for a very hip start-up in Seattle back in 2004.

I’m on the phone with Ed, a Human Resources Manager at Pacific Rim Corporation.

My goal was to convince Ed to use our technology in order to broadcast their careers through social networking (back when social networking was new and uncomfortable for anyone over 25)

I’ll just get right to it.

(once again…

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My Slutty Baby

Today my mother-in-law expressed concern that my (6 mo old) baby’s diaper was showing underneath her dress and that perhaps pants would be more appropriate. Oh, the indecency.

I wonder what she would think if she knew that the baby is twerking and sext’ing her way through infancy.

I can only hope that I can keep her off the pole by the time she is a toddler.

#WTF

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Playing with Vocabulary

ASKHOLE   – definition: someone who constantly is asking you questions about everything but never follows the advice.

(thanks to Olga for sharing)

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Faux Pas Faux Sho: Part Deux

Faux Pas Faux Sho: Part Deux

As my friends will agree, I have the most unfortunate habit of flubbing my words into some sort of a completely humiliating situation.

Much like my last post, this incident did not go by unnoticed by all who were around me. (Those who weren’t there, later heard from Jason, who witnessed these events often in our career together …. Thank you for that, old friend)

There was a day when I sold…

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Potty Talk

The phone rings:

My Mother-in-law to me: Hi honey, do you have a minute?

Me to my MIL: Hi. Sure! How are you doing today? It’s beautiful out.

My MIL: Well, I keep having these little tiny deer-like poops; meanwhile he (referring to my FIL) poops so much that he flushes 6x every time.

Me to my MIL: Well, ok. So, my day is going well.

My MIL to me: OK, well tell everybody I said hello.

Me to my MIL: Alrighty then… buh bye.

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Not just a baby. That smooth operator is MY baby.

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My “Curves” and other shakey business

While attending a dinner party at the in-laws, my MIL is discussing the unfortunate state of the weight of the nation. She holds her hand up, as though to apologize for a tiny fart, and says “oh but not you, honey. You look great.”

The other guests awkwardly looked down at their plates.

To make it worse, she then qualified her comment by saying “I just don’t want you to be over-whelmed, honey.” Then looks out to the rest of the table and says “You know, she has seizures too”. I could feel the woman siting across from me empathizing with me, not for the 50lbs that I gained, or my seizure disorder, but for my real crippling handicap… my MIL.

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What and Why did I create this blog?

I have been told, repeatedly, that blogging is a great way to work out the angst that one might feel.

I shouldn’t have much to complain about. I have a lovely home, a wonderful husband, a brand new baby girl and somewhat of an urban zoo, out here in San Francisco.

People have REAL problems.

This blog is just a way for me to express my angst before things get ugly. Really ugly.