Pink? White? Red? Mixture of all three? What about yellow? Black were pretty too, but that was a little to dark for this. Nah.. a mixture of pink and white would work just fine. Taeyang was going through a shop's website to create a boquet for you. Your anniversary was coming up and he wanted everything to be perfect. He was making sure he got a head start on everything so he could be sure that unlike previous years, it didn't sneak up on him. He'd caused you to be sad on more than one anniversary because he'd gotten busy and forgotten. Since this year was special he didn't want to mess up again. 6 years you two had been together. Over half a decade. Longer than anyone either of you knew.
You were trying on dresses in a cute little boutique downtown for the perfect outfit for your anniversary dinner. 6 long years. Didn't feel possible. Some times it felt like it had been that long, other times it felt like it hadn't been that long, still other times it felt like it had been longer. You didn't remember much of your life before him, only that you were unhappy. He helped create your self esteem. He taught you to appreciate yourself. He obviously couldn't fix everything, but he was there for support while you re learned how to care about yourself.
Your only other boyfriend was a horrible point of reference, and you wouldn't really even call him a boyfriend. He was just plain an abuser. He constantly reminded you that you could never do any better than him, that no one would put up with your "attitude" but him, and things like that. You heard it every day for so long that you really started to believe it. All throughout highschool, you acted more like his indentured servant than his girlfriend. You made him food, you helped him with his homework, and he showed you affection, if you could call it that, ever now and then. But it wasn't what most people would call an actual relationship.
He came to your house one night, after you had both graduated from highschool and were both in Uni. He had been drinking with his friends, and he knew your parents were home yet. He had forced his way into your livingroom and sat down on your couch and yelled at you until you sat down with him. He then started a string of obscene and vulgar speech that caused you to blush and not want to be around him anymore. You tried to convince yourself it was just the alcohol, but deep down you really knew better. He started scooting closer to you on the couch and making vulgar demands of what you should be doing as his girlfriend.
It didn't take long before he tried forcing himself on you when you, as he said he expected, came off as frigid and non responsive to his advances. You owed him, he told you while he tried to unbotton your blouse despite how much you fought him. You yelled and started to cry. When your parents walked in, your Appa grabbed him by the hair and insisted your Umma call the police. Your "boyfriend" woke up in a jail cell after passing out trying to swig at your Appa in the livingroom. His parents came to apologize for their son, and to deeply apologize to you. You couldn't look them in the eye, and hid behind your Umma. You didn't want to speak to anyone at that point.
2 years went by and you avoided the subject of relationships like the plague. You didn't talk about it with your friends, with your parents, although they didn't push the subject. You were convinced by a friend of yours to go to the SBS station just for fun. Being surrounded by teenagers screaming for "Oppa" was a bit uncomfortable for you. But you made it through the show. One the way out, your friend who knew an Unnie who worked at the station, and who was willing to buy you guys food after wards, nudged you to peek over her shoulder. You looked and realized you were being stared at. You were spotted by TaeYang who was at the station, in between Big Bang's Japanese promo's, to visit a friend who was promoting at that time. He was really shyly looking at you. Trying not to make it so obvious.
You blushed when he blushed, which made him blush further. The Unnie you came to see after the show, noticed what was happening, and smirked. After you and your friend left to head to the food carts in downtown for food, she approached Taeyang and told him all about you, and agreed to be the go between if he wanted to meet you.
You sat at your computer at work and typed away trying to update the accounts you were in charge of when your phone went off. It was your daily text message from Taeyang, saying he missed you, hoped you were okay, and etc. You smiled because his texts made your day. He was so suave, so charismatic, and he could have had any of the ladies in his industry if he really tried or wanted to be with any of them. But he chose you, and he was always happy that he had. He may have been a dance machine and oozed swag and smex while on stage and in photo shoots. But in reality, when all the crowds were gone, and it was just him, he was still a shy little boy who still had a hard time speaking in front of a girl he liked. Even now, after 6 years he still got shy around you. If you took extra special care of yourself, he always swelled with pride because of how beautiful he thought you were. But he also gave you the same look when he hung out at your house during the almost non existant down time, and you were in jeggings and a messy bun.
Taeyang smiled as the kissy face emoji's came on his iMessage from you. You always knew just how to respond to make him the happiest. He was so happy that you agreed to date him. Even with all the problems that would arise because of it. He couldn't have gotten more lucky with you.
You were in the kitchen of your apartment cooking. You worked yesterday so you could have Tuesday off to spend with Taeyang. You were making all your food for the next week in advance. It was just something you did to make it easier on your life. When you got home, the last thing you wanted to do was cook. Or, as you called it "B*tch over a hot stove." So it was just easier to take the two hours on a Sunday, to pre make all the food, put them into containers, and threw it in the microwave when you got home.
When someone knocked on your door, you were a bit weirded out because you didn't have company all that often. You wiped your hands on the tea towel hanging from the counter. After giving a peak at all the pots you had going on the stove, and were satisfied nothing would burn or boil over while you stepped away, you padded softly to your door. You were going to just open it, but a feeling that grew in your gut, the closer you got to the doorknob caused you to look through the peep hole. Your voice caught in your throat, and you backed away from the door. Another round of knocking caused your knees to turn to jelly. It was him. How did he find you? And why? You went back into your kitchen with no intent of opening the door, and putting on your headphones tried to ignore that he was even there.
After about an hour, you took your headphones off. Your heart had stopped beating irregularly, and you slowly made your way to the door, which you instantly felt ridiculous for. You gingerly opened the door and looked out. There was no sign of him. No notes or anything. You hoped that would be the last of it. Did you tell Taeyang though?
You woke up that morning with the previous nights happenings still fresh in your mind. While brushing your teeth, you tapped out a message that you two needed to talk soon. You didn't expect an immediate response because of how ridiculous his schedule could be. You got ready and left your apartment to head for the train to go into work.
While at work, your daily text came in with the usual, and an added question if everything was alright. You tapped a reponse that you couldn't talk about it over message because it was too long, but could you maybe talk on the phone on your lunch. He said he would try to arrange it. On your lunch hour you tapped to him that you were off if he was able to talk.
The ring on your phone came while you were pacing under the awning behind your building, trying not to get your new boots and blouse damp from the coming rain. You did after sit in these clothes the rest of the day after all.
"Hey Jagi... how are you?" he asked sweetly.
"Hi Oppa.. I... I actually don't know how I am to be honest." you had lost all the need to beat around the bush and try and lie about your feelings. You didn't need to do that with him.
"What's wrong?" he sounded concerned, and you could almost hear him sit up straighter and lean forward.
"So I was making food last night right? As I do every sunday, and I hear a knock at my door. Which ya know, for most people isn't that unusual, but for me? Set off all kinds of red flags. I get to the door and look through the peep hole, and who is it? _______ Oppa! Like, how long has it been since I've seen him? Why him, why me, why now? I didn't open the door before you ask. Naturally. I went back to what I was doing, and ignored him, I checked the door later and he didn't leave anything saying he'd been or that he wanted to talk. So I'm hoping that the silence means he thought he had the wrong person's home and he doesn't come back. But I just wanted to tell you what was happening." you rushed. He just sat and listened, because it wasn't often you rambled on about something to him. So the fact that you were doing everything you could to get all these thoughts out at once meant you were really thinking about this hard. Which made it important.
"I understand jagi, and I'm glad you decided to tell me about it. Tell me anything more that happens and don't be afraid. Don't open the door if you're uncomfortable, and don't you feel like you owe anyone anything. He had his shot and he blew it. You're my beautiful princess now, and he can't just waltz back into your life and think he can take my spot. Not happening!" you smiled and felt butterflies with the tone he took. He was possessive of you, but not in the same way as your ex had been. Taeyang needed you, he loved you, and couldn't imagine his life now without you. Your ex was just on a power trip at the time. But you couldn't be bothered to think about that now. You both said your goodbyes and you went back to your desk to finish up the day.
While going home, you were getting off your elevator, and in doing so, caught the glimpse of someone else getting on the one further down the hall. You heard a voice and your heart instantly sank. You got back into your elevator and went up one more floor. You got off the elevator and smiled nervously as the people got on. You looked out the hall window that showed the street, and saw "him" walk across the street on his phone, and get into his car and drive off. You started to tear up. You knew this couldn't continue, and you decided to take matters into your own hands. When you got into your apartment, you called the police. Not the emergency number, but just an officer. You had heard part of his conversation, saying he was going to be back that night, and you didn't want any issues. You couldn't face him alone, but didn't want to keep dodging him either. You wanted to send a clear message that he wasn't welcome anywhere near you or your current life.
You jumped and panicked when the knock at the door interrupted the silence of your apartment. You looked through the peep hole, and breathed a sigh of relief when it was the officer. You invited him in, and closed the door.
"Good Evening Ma'am. I was informed you were having an issue. Why don't you tell me whats going on and how I can help?" he smiled pleasantly.
"Well.." you started after a sigh. You decided to be straight up with it. "A number of years ago, when I was young and stupid, I was dating a guy who wasn't a nice person. He came to my house drunk one night, tried to force himself on me, took a swing at my Appa, and got into trouble for it. That was over 5 years ago. Last night, I heard a knock on my door and after checking the peep hole, it was him. I don't want to speak to him. I don't want him coming to my apartment. I didn't open the door last night, because I was afraid. Tonight when I was coming home, I saw him coming away from my door and getting into the elevator, I went up one floor, and watched out the window as he got into his car and drove away. But I heard part of his conversation saying he'd be back. I want to tell him that I don't want him coming here again. But after what he did when we were younger, I'm afraid to do it on my own, which is why you're here. I just need some back up in case he's still the same type of person." you rushed. The police officer nodded and noticed you flinch and jump when there was a harder knock on the door.
"It's okay. I'll just stand here, and if he tries anything he won't get far. Have the courage. You tell him everything you just told me." he urged and took a step back near the couch. You nodded and taking a breath, went to your door.
You opened the door and did your best to look intimidating. You learned this trick from T.O.P Oppa in his acting. That when he wanted his face to look a certain way, it was all about what he had in his mind before the camera started. You thought about that night. About what he had made you feel. And you got angry. Legit angry.
"Can I help you?" you asked. You surprised yourself with how cold you sounded. But that's what you were going for.
"______-ya it's me." he said, a bit startled with your tone.
"I know who you are," you said evenly, "what do you want?"
"Can I come in?" he asked ignoring your question, and attempting to take a step forward. But you stood your ground.
"No, you cannot. I don't want you in my home. I want you to tell me what you're doing coming to my home after all this time, as if I want to see you." the even tone was breaking up a little. You struggled to contain the bubbling anger in your core.
"Don't be like that, I want to come in." he took another step as if to step past you and you got right in his way.
"I will BE any kind of way I choose and for the last time, I said NO. You are not coming into my home. Now either tell me what you want or leave." you were getting angry.
"I want to come in." he said getting a bit irritated that you were being difficult.
"Well I'm sorry that's not happening. Was there anything else I can help you with?" you said coming down from your anger. You went into your customer service voice.
"When did you become this person?" he asked with distaste, looking at you. You were offended not only by the question, but also by his tone, and facial expression.
"I became this person after you were such an ASSHOLE to me!" you started raising your voice and letting go of your door. "You have no right to come to my home, you have no right to try and come back into my life, thinking that I want to see you for any reason. I don't want to see you or speak to you ever again. Don't come to my home again, don't try to get into contact with me again, if you want to find another punching bag, you can look elsewhere because there aren't any here. I am grown, I am successful, and I don't need you!" You took a step back into your apartment and slammed the door. Right in his face. Not giving him any chance to say anything, to respond, to react. You shook like a leaf in the autumn breeze. Eventually you came back to your senses and remembered the officer was still in your home. He had folded his arms and was smiling at you.
"That sounded like it had been built up for a long time." he commented. You nodded, struggling to breathe a little bit. He nodded and gave you his card. "If he comes around again and you need me for back up again, let me know. I'll be here as quickly as I can and if not I'll send a friend. Don't feel bad for getting in contact with us. It's what we do, and why we're officers." You clutched the white business card and smiled.
"Thank you so much." you said several times before he left. You went to bed feeling so good about yourself. You were so ready for your anniversary dinner with Taeyang.
"You really said that to him??" Taeyang asked with the biggest smile spread across his face. You two giggled like children over the beautifully set table you were seated at. You were wearing your new cream dress and metallic heels, and he was in a 3 piece suit.
"Yes, I did say that. All of it. And you know what? It felt really good. It felt really good to finally stand up for myself, and confront that last shadow and not be afraid of it anymore. I mean I'll always be nervous when it comes to him, and the thought of him being near me. But I know that I can stand my ground now, and if I can't, I know I have people I can turn to." you smiled. You leaned into the huge bouquet of pink and white roses Taeyang had bought for you. You luxuriated in the scent which was intoxicating.
Taeyang watched you, your closed eyes, your content smile, and felt his whole world swell into a big ball of pride. He was so lucky to have you, and he made another re affirmation right then and there to love and protect you the rest of his life, God willing.
"Oppa, can we dance?" you asked. He came back to his thoughts and heard the slow song playing. He nodded and got up with you to the dance floor, and rested his hands on your hips. Normally, you held onto his upper arms, but you wrapped your arms around his neck, and pulled him in close. If you were honest, you were feeling yourself since last nights victory and decided for your 6th anniversary, you could be a little daring. Taeyang hummed in approval and lightly kissed your shoulder. He hummed along with the music in your ear, and the sound of his voice caused you to slowly close your eyes, and forget everyone else. Normally you'd be concerned with bumping into people, or people looking at you and judging you for how close you were dancing. But tonight, after what you'd been through, you couldn't have cared any less. You were in a warm, safe, happy, little bubble that comforted you in the arms of your boyfriend who was gorgeous, and kind, and gentle, and affectionate, and approving of you and supportive of everything you did.
"Happy Anniversary Jagi." he whispered in your ear, kissing your cheek. You pulled away from his shoulder and looked at him. You let your forehead touch his, and smiled.
"Happy Anniversary Oppa." you shyly let your lips brush his, and smiled. He blushed and hugged you close.
So I tried to make up for lack of Taeyang like this person asked for. I think I kinda missed the whole point of the romance, but my writing took me to that place and I felt like it was appropriate? Anyways. Hope you all like. 8 more to go until I finish the DongHae fic, and then maybe open requests again? Does anyone even read this blog anymore? Should I bother? Who knows.
