maeve

paul dano girlie with a hopefully ineffable persona · she/they | minor | sapphic

[ratbastardmaeve]

rest easy triv. i don't really want to go to california anymore

[movedurlsagain]

[inkskinned]

the illusion was always that we just had to do it. just “do” the homework. the meal prep. the college application. just write the email, send the homework, follow up with that interview, clean your room. these are easy things, one-click things, two-hours-max things. we had so many people in our lives shout it at us. “why didn’t you just do it!” 

often my answer was a soft i don’t know. an i-got-tired when actually it was more like - i couldn’t. i just couldn’t. it feels like everything is covered in snow. don’t you know that i’m mad at myself too? i want this stuff just as much as you do. i want to live in a clean house with good food and have an okay job and know i’m not disappointing the people i’m coming home to. i don’t like missing opportunities and having to scramble in a panic about last-minute things.

i’m a fully grown adult. she is posing for a pic on insta. if you want a life like this, go out and get it. it’s 2pm and i haven’t eaten breakfast. i am staring at the space where i should be working. 

her video has a laugh. “just do it!”

[punkrock-bottom]

F*g is a slur and no amount of quirky posts is gonna make you cool for using it

You have rights because faggots and dykes fought for them. Respect that you cunt

[the-haiku-bot]

You have rights because

faggots and dykes fought for them.

Respect that you cunt

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[siriosa]

oh haiku bot. i thought i couldn’t love you more

[volach-deactivated20230326]

“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

[sotrias-labyrinth-deactivated20]

Does free will exist?

[catgirltoofies]

yeah

[sotrias-labyrinth-deactivated20]

[volach-deactivated20230326]

“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

[fallingtowers]

i love words like “acquire” and “acquit” etc… it’s such a treat to see c and q together like that. they’re such an odd couple. it’s like if you were in high school¹ and one day you saw the blonde overachiever valedictorian² hanging out with the weird friendless goth girl with the siouxsie sioux³ hair and you realized they’d been childhood friends all along

¹ stage of education in the united states, commonly portrayed in a romanticized manner in films and tv shows. ² untranslatable; a type of warrior-priest. ³ english singer who was an important figure in the emergence of the gothic rock genre in the late 1970s.

[seravph]

the rise of ‘aesthetics’ as a common way to describe literally every facet of yourself is like the most destructive thing I’ve seen on social media this shit is crazy. it is the most beauty obsessed thing in such a subtle and evil way.... it goes down to the books you read the chicness of your clutter the music you listen to how you decorate your water bottle like literally every single thing you do is scrutinized and defined into egirl or cottagecore or dark academia or vapor wave or baddie or whatever and it just forces you to quantify yourself and criticize every thing you do without break ..... am I sitting down in an effortlessly cute way? Is the mess on my bedside table whimsical? Is my shampoo luxurious and glamorous? And it’s all just a way to sell shit and profit off of your insecurity!!!!!! You watch yourself from an outside perspective, making sure you’re not just beautiful but you fit exactly into whatever box you strive to belong to, and it leaves no room for mistakes!!!! You can’t be embarrassing or cringey or gross or ugly unless it’s in an ironic way that fulfills a meta identity that is also quantifiable. Everybody has a uniform now that they’re trying to fit into. If you take care of plants you’re cottagecore if you play video games and like pastels you’re an e girl if you like sweaters and reading (classic white people books only!!!) then you’re dark academia you’re tailoring every single aspect of yourself and isn’t it tiring????? Isn’t procuring yourself tiring????? I’m going to rip a phone book in half

[fairydrowning]

When "Franz Kafka" wrote "there are times, dearest, when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship". I felt that.

[fairydrowning]

"Days I feel like a human being, while other days I feel more like a sound. I touch the world not as myself but as an echo of who I was."

– "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous" Novel by Ocean Vuong

[memewhore]

[welcome-to-my-last-braincell]

Romanticizing school to avoid dying in the school year

[oscar-still-wildin]

-Celine and Julie Go Boating (1974)

[hwhwgwhnwnwbwbwg-deactivated202]

“Beauty is rarely soft or consolatory. Quite the contrary. Genuine beauty is always quite alarming.”

-Donna Tartt

[fairydrowning]

"You are killing me and you are keeping me from dying. This is love."

-Mahmoud Darwish

You are the knife I twist inside myself; that is love. That, my dear, is love."

-Franz Kafka

"I would split open my heart with a knife, place you within and seal my wound, that you might dwell there and never inhabit another…"

-Ibn Hazm

[fairydrowning]

"I was growing less and less attached to life. If I kept going, I thought, I'd disappear completely, then reappear in some new form. This was my hope. This was the dream."

-Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

[memeuplift]