It was funny how set plans seemed to unravel, no matter how many times she played the scenarios in her mind, she never quite got it right. This certainly was proof of one of the ways sheâd never accounted for. Aurora wasnât the type to be bitter about not hearing life-altering news straight from the source, in fact she was wildly supportive of Raviâs right to his privacy, even if she did end up hearing the news anyway through Lily. But now, as he spilled over like a tea kettle thatâd been on the burner for far too long, saying his daughters name, saying she had been effectively taken from him. Everything came crashing down on her all at once.
The smile she had put on to be brave faltered. The laugh that escaped him without a hint of humor wasnât the same one that made those familiar butterflies run rampant in her abdomen. He wasnât a shell but it was obvious how badly this turn of events had taken a toll on him. It was situation she couldnât even relate to, but his pain tore at her all of the same. It was a lot more than she wanted to hear about the question, heâd said. Trapped in her mouth was the urge to say, âI want to hear everything from you.â
âThank you for trusting me with that information,â She began, edging away from sounding helpless. âI donât understand how they could have granted her that after everything.â Though the only thing Aurora knew was that Stella had been dropped on his door step, and Ravi just sprung into action to be the good father that she never once thought he couldnât be. âDonât apologize, I canât imagine how hard that must be. Youâll get her back though, wonât you?âÂ
He held his hands up and her hand twitched from where it rested on the podium. Thoughts of how she used to splay her hands within his own to note the notable size difference replayed in her mind like a film she could never burn. She could hear Lily in her mind offering her the advice to let things be, that Ravi had his path and Aurora had hers. That maybe this was just a leap that saved her from any more red flags that would have hurt more in the long run. That maybe one day sheâd laugh at having ironically similar Halloween costumes without planning it and enjoy the night with someone else who could give her everything she was looking for. Maybe. Who knew she could feel this strongly for someone who wasnât formally hers?Â
It remained true even now, despite how much she had been hurting from what could have been. âI donât know what its worth to you these days, but you can still call on me, if you want to.â She said softly. There was so much that had been left unsaid, so many things that had unraveled, but closing the door on Ravi for good unfortunately wasnât an option for Aurora, not just yet.Â
Once the words had been spoken, he felt spent. As though every sleepless hour was now closing in on him, making him unsteady on his feet. It only got more real the more people he uttered those words to. He had been trying his best to hide behind every shadowed outlier, like a roach escaping the light, but it was catching up to him all the same.
He shook his head at Auroraâs words, his sentiments mirrored exactly. On paper, though, he supposed he could understand. If they pushed the post-partum narrative and leaned heavily on the kind of company Ravi kept without understanding the souls that loved Stella just as much as he did, then theyâd see felonies and questionable life choices, friends as babysitters, a home he couldnât technically afford.
It all stacked up against him like jenga blocks. Each one more precarious than the last. He wondered when it would all finally topple.
âI donât know whatâs going to happen,â he said honestly, tiredly. âThe court doesnât care about details, they only care about facts. And right now, the facts are that one of my best friends has a record, I live in a house I shouldnât technically be able to afford, and I rely on friends rather than steady daycare. They can afford the kind of lawyer I canât, so I just... I donât know.â
It occurred to him again, that he was walloping her with this. Aurora who had been there, probably would have always been there, the very same whom heâd left without a word. She was too good. Too good for him, too good for this town, just... too good.
And then she spoke and what little fractured pieces remained of his heart shattered. âAurora--â He shook his head, brows furrowing. Had he made her feel like that? The thought felt like raking himself over hot coals and he made to reach for her before he stopped himself. âItâs worth everything,â he said, voice nearly a whisper. âJust because... things happened the way they did, doesnât mean I--â Jesus, this felt like another one of those wrong-time moments. He was in a spiral, in such a precarious position with Stella and her future. He didnât want to react out of emotional exhaustion even as he knew in his bones he meant every word. âI never stopped caring. Iâll never stop caring.â Or wanting.