@ravus-week Prompt: Phantom Pain
Will something hurt if it doesn’t exist anymore?
When the flames seared my left arm, I felt as if my blood was burning, too. Devouring me alive, I seemed as if I was going to burn forever.
That did not frighten me, however. In a way, I felt like it was proper.
Somehow as I burned I thought, ah, this is my punishment. I deserve such a thing. I let the flames engulf me as I screamed, hoping that if this is the sacrifice the gods would ask of me, I was willing to lose it. And so I let the pain take me whole.
One would think I’d be bitter, but I knew I deserved this for turning my back against the Astrals. What I wouldn’t deny though, is the fact that they had asked for it. They had abandoned me first.
What replaced the hand that always held the candles during the ceremonies was a metallic magitek arm. Violent thundering of energy shook me as the imperials held me still, screwing that unnatural thing upon my person.
This is the most innovative invention by the empire, they said. You shall be better in no time.
But it was an intruder, a parasite.
Flexing the metallic digits, I saw it as it is: a dead hand.
Gone is the hand that first held my sister’s little fingers when she was born, the very digits that wrapped around my mother’s clothes when I cried. The hand that valiantly held a shield as my father taught me how to fight is lost, the arm that was the source of love and sanctuary for my lover had crumbled to ashes.
One singular limb, a thousand lives.
Yet strangely enough, I felt some sort of relief. It shall never remind me of those memories while I still had my true arm.
This magitek arm, at least, was going to be indifferent to my feelings.
Bu…why does it still hurt?
I still feel it burning, asking me to scream.
Perhaps, the sins I made with that arm still lingered, pleading me to suffer some more.
I shall succumb to it, if that’s what it takes to rid myself of my foolishness.
As much of a stranger it is to my history, this arm yearns to hold my lover’s hands, to wipe the tears from her eyes. It wants me to help my sister fulfill her duties and shield her from her fate.
Just when I thought I’d have a new life with this arm, it seeks to remind me of who I once was.
It seems as if my old true arm had not completely vanished. It still lingers on…and it pains me still.
Something should not hurt if it doesn’t exist anymore, doesn’t it?
This is a late post for @ravus-week . I still can’t believe that it’s over. I had so much fun writing about our dear lord of Tenebrae. Thanks for the lovely prompts, dearie! I’ve seen so many great contents about Ravus. I do hope more content about him shall be made, even after ravus-week is over.
I do have a part two for Ravus’ mannerisms which I hope to post soon. Also, I’ve been meaning to write something for Ravus’ birthday which I made as a headcanon — he turns a year older on the 8th of this month. :)
I’m currently abroad and undergoing an art internship for a month, but I hope to make at least one content a week. I hope you are all well! X
