Ravyn LaRue

[joolabird]

Sometimes in community prayer, my Dad thanks God for the color green, and cries. In front of everyone, he cries. For the grass, and for the trees, how he is so in love with the earth, sometimes I cannot understand. Sometimes when I tell my Dad about what I love, he cries. In front of me, he cries. My Father is a beautiful beautiful man.

[joolabird]

Thank you Minnesota.

[ravyn-larue-s-poetry]

'Vanessa's' by Ravyn LaRue

For what it’s worth I really love playing diabolical I belted out ‘Girl With One Eye’ repeatedly for about an hour last night And it’s too bad that the archetype I fit in Isn’t often portrayed as villainous which might be why I have so many darkish sanity slippage poems If I can’t play characters I’ve noticed I tend to fall into writing as them Thankfully my beloved role falls under the diabolical category as well as the maternal one I reside in But until then (and I believe steadfastly it’s a “when” and not an “if”) But until then I’ll keep on belting while all the world’s asleep and I’ll likely write more Vanessa poems really, whether I would like to or not

[fuckyeahfatpositive]

I posted this photo on my DeviantART as an ID, only to receive a whole ton of hate… regardless, I felt adorable and happy when it was taken, and feel now that, since it’s fat fashion month, I should submit it to some fat-positive blogs in rebuttal! ;)

[katharsisravynturbes]

Hooray- they posted my most recent submission! :)

[gasolineofwild]

[ravynlarue15]

Happy Halloween from Tesla and Sassafras :)

[disneyyandmore-blog]

Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy On the sixth of “Januervy” All because it’s topsy turvy day! (Happy Topsy Turvy/Festival of Fools day!)

[disneyineveryway-blog]

[katharsisravynturbes]

My Parents and I after ‘Pirates of Penzance’ (I played Ruth)! :)

[katharsisravynturbes]

I met Malcolm Ray today! :) I’m still teeming with residual excitement! :) He’s super nice in person, and didn’t mind my fangirling! :) He even signed an autograph, and drew a smiley face with sunglasses! :) Ah, I’m just *so* happy! :)

[antclub]

Emily has been helping me photograph my paintings. I will upload them soon cool cool cool COOL COOL cool

[joolabird]

My sister Emma. look.

[ravyn-larue-s-poetry]

'Regret' by Ravyn LaRue

I feel like I don’t know what poems are anymore but I have this deep and profound longing to write emotion because when I read emotion, I feel it to my core.

I found a thing in my inbox tonight from Jen asking whether I had any regrets and I haven’t answered, because I’m selfish but the question makes me want to cry still, I say my answer is no.

I have a soreness of the soul I would never wish to use it to lessen others since in the vast cosmos my pain equates to nothing nothing nothing still, I like that I can hurt because aching in my soul and in my heart prove that I somehow still have both

I was reading a poem written by a friend, earlier she spoke of saying goodbyes and packing up optimistically to begin the journey to college and I don’t think I could ever explain the sort of agitation that causes me because I’m still hurting

I dreamt last night my best friend entered the war-zone and I went with her smiling because I don’t deserve her, and I wanted to help but we kept coming upon things familiar to me I panicked and buried my face in her shoulder and she didn’t mind me, which meant a lot but it didn’t help me to herald her onto her dream

Longing is what I would describe this stage I want things to be like they used to be but I know that cannot be so I’m longing for the glory of the future but it all is so unknown so for now I’m stuck pining in purgatory

As I lay last night hoping to get some sleep I ran my hands over my chest imagining how nice it would feel if I could scrape off my flesh and give my heart to someone

I really must be extroverted since I was Joey’s ticket taker and I went to a party both today, and my soul seems happier but I miss profusely when this wasn’t a rarity

there were times in my life where I’d see these people everyday at school and every Sunday, because that was how we lived but as we grow older things are bound to change and you’re a loser if you fight it so I just have to float with the current a while even if I’m not so keen on swimming forward

Last Summer life was beautiful truly and I worry that life will never again live up to that magnificence I mean, I was blessed profusely by something I had beauty around me and I was expecting beauty ahead of me but in spite of my better efforts I’m more reluctant to presume there’ll be beauty in the future

Yet I have a dream I’m just too cowardly I can feign intensity all I want but as my dream showed as well as real life when terrors come I’m all too quick to run away or hide and that isn’t the sort of behavior that wins happiness

As much as I long for heroic Intervention I know she’s busy with her real babies now I’m so scared, and I never used to be

I suppose to answer your question, Jen I don’t regret Columbia itself I regret what I let myself become because of it

[ravyn-larue-s-poetry]

'The Eventual Play' by Ravyn LaRue

I want to write a play but after I’ve written the final draft who knows what’s to become of the thing I’ll just inconspicuously leave scripts at theaters after I see shows or I could start my own in an alley either way I’ll write it so at least I’ll have something written

[joolabird]

Deeply attracted to emotion.

[ravyn-larue-s-poetry]

'Golden's Deli 2/28/14' by Ravyn LaRue

The sweet blonde barista who wears tribal print and has a lisp gave me chai tea, iced coffee and 10 whole cookies all free, for no good reason

[ravyn-larue-s-poetry]

'Last One Before Adhering To Lent' by Ravyn LaRue

Here are the things I plan to do instead of taking time on tumblr

I’m giving it up in hopes of spending my life living instead of reblogging at least for a while

I have homework but that’s uninteresting I plan to start reading ‘Edward Tulane’ but I said that already I hope to respond to Deb and Lisa’s letters I intend on writing to beloveds (in cards if I can find them, otherwise Chicago postcard leftovers) I promise to write more poems (some birthday ones for Joe, in fact) I need, positively need, to catch up on journaling I ought to organize my stuff I should do some singing, that’ll be splendid I must read all of Medicine River by Thomas King I can go up to the Starbucks by SPCPA on a day or two I will do all the things on this list

Yay!

[ravyn-larue-s-poetry]

'Spirituality and Edward Tulane' by Ravyn LaRue

In class we’re talking about spirituality and spirituality, unlike religion, is what I’m all about, and if you can believe it, I’m hoping to improve I feel like reading will help end journaling for myself only, might so that’s what I’m doing for Lent even though I don’t count as Catholic it’s a thing that I know, so I’m going with it plus Jen is giving up pop and Terese is writing her glorious letters I decided I wanted in on it with something but the book I will read I am hoping will help me to forgive, perhaps or at least heal me to some degree because its author is someone I adore though I’ve never met her personally yet she’s helped me through tons so I’m hoping history will repeat itself the book I’ll be reading is about a bunny which goes with the Easter idea as well as the deep deep deep love and longing I have for those I call my beloveds since the triumvirate from 2/16 are quite symbolic I think I’m of the mind that if I try hard enough, I can claim anything as my spirituality but what must be realized is anything that makes my soul feel radiant yet aching is something I feel might make me whole and better so, yeah Spirituality