RCap.writing

Life really holds no meaning until you give it breath to see again. Eyes to read again. Touch to feel again. - Rainer Capili // RCap.writing

[rcapwriting]

Body language

We’ve not spoken in the past 4 times we’ve met so I can’t know for sure if you feel the same or if you feel anything at all

But I can read the subtle ways your body calls out for love—as if you were speaking to me

The way your skin shivers in goosebumps as I scrape my tongue across the length of your leg, upwards…

Raising my eyes to meet yours

And we danced…

And in the time that we danced—you loved him

Yet shared with me secrets, written in braille

Across the canvas of your neck down to your waist

Never-minding my inability to read it…

But you told me that it makes more sense when you read it back again—so I read it back again

But this time, you spoke the words simultaneous with my touch

I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure you’re speaking to me…

But who am I to deny you.

RCap.Writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

Invisible

I could never love anyone the way I loved you

You held the piece of my heart that loved fiercely, unashamed and unapologetic

I’ve carved my bones to present the beauty in my disdain

Where everyone admired from afar, you studied with a delicate touch

Where everyone saw a museum, you saw treacherous terrain

Where everyone found beauty, you found patterns

You unlocked the part of me that felt invisible

How freeing it was to be accepted—albeit, just a fraction of me

But some things, you just can’t get back

RCap.Writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

If only you asked

If you asked me to

I would’ve blindfolded myself as you walked out of my life

Leaving as nothing but a memory drifting in the wind and spend every waking morning repainting your portrait by heart

With the empty…unspoken…and imagined promise of your return once I finally get the picture right

If only you asked

RCap.Writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

The Necessary Void

How invigorating it must have felt

To watch me drink every ounce of the cup you filled with your false pretense until I was addicted

To the empty reassurance

To the rehearsed intimacy

Oh, how I marveled in your honesty

Lost in the sincerity in your voice—and in every fleeting moment

I relished in your disconnect

Mistaking your presence as present

Convincing myself this was better than being alone—that the void between us was a necessary boundary

Never-minding the tears falling from the sky begging me to wake up

To stop pretending that your words opened an umbrella big enough for the both of us when it was only meant for you

5 years pass within the blink of an eye and you’re no longer here to shelter me from the pour

And yet, today…

I still relish in your distance

The void between us, still necessary

Only to withstand the rain in your absence

RCap.Writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

- Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

And after all the heartbreak it is still possible. To find someone whose soul reminds you how to feel, someone whose touches reminds you how to love, one whose love teaches you how to live, again.

RCap.Writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

I know now that my bones will forever be carved with your embrace, and when they are dusted and examined they will know that your hug was the one that touched my soul. They will know that this, this was the touch of an angel.

RCap.Writing

Written By Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

The good, the bad, its all relative The truth, the lies The memories, regrets All of it will someday fade Into a world unknown we place our fate in For our time is fleeting Whether we realize it, or choose not to It still is. We still are.

RCap.Writing

Written By Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

Love is something truly incredible And the world is full of incredible people, capable of loving us incredibly But sometimes we tell ourselves that we are not deserving of incredible things so we push And try to find anything less than incredible

RCap.writing

Written By Rainer Capili

“Incredible”

[rcapwriting]

She was the sun as much as she was the moon She was infinite as much as she was inadequate She was the universe to those without a home It was her flaws that made all of this possible So please, Don't ever try to tell me she was human in order to belittle her perfection

RCap.writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

I think it's funny how we can lose balance when gravity never stops.

RCap.writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

For the days where waking up becomes a nightly routine I beg of you Please do not be angry Sometimes spine fails to stiffen Sometimes my legs forget to dance

RCap.writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

There is no reason to fear love. No reason at all, she would tell me. Spoken like a true woman.

RCap.writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

The taste of your poison tongue The fragrance of your skin The fear in your touch The sound of your moans The way you wince as I enter The way you mourn when I pull away Feels like pain and lust in the same glimpse But you ache for the next thrust...and the next one after that. And then next one after that. Suddenly we’re not just fucking.

RCap.Writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

You need not be afraid of the future for it is full of the unknown; instead, romance with the present and everything you  know.

RCap.writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

It is not difficult to comprehend loneliness. It is not impossible to overcome pain. It is never a question of if you can do something, it’s always just a matter of how.

RCap.writing

Written by Rainer Capili

[rcapwriting]

I want to be fearless. I want to willingly dive head first into an endless ocean of everything uncomfortable. I want to swim with the snakes as they wrap around my neck and constrict at the slightest hint of fear. Maybe then I wouldn’t cringe at their hiss. Maybe then I wouldn't be scared.

RCap.writing

Written by Rainer Capili