Tranquility and venting

Blog to vent about my anxiety disorder, fear of homework, school trauma, actual ptsd, actual depression, and reaching for tranquility

[kafk-a]

every day i discover the meaning of life and then i lose it again and then again a new day and i discover the meaning of life and lose it by night time and then again and so on

[greelin]

if i were a 6’1 cis man..

[greelin]

but i’m not. i am 5’3 and transgender

[greelin]

i am here for neither a good time nor a long time

[greelin]

i start school on the 12th and turn 30 on the 22nd but if i kill myself within the next week then i will mot have to experience either of those things.

[greelin]

if my psychiatrist really wanted to help me he would shoot me at point blank range

[greelin]

“we can up your dosage” Actually i just want you to kill me. thanks!

[vink-charles]

There was a time I really wished, craved, to be terminally ill.

Just so that people would stop pleading with me.

If I were visibly ill, people would stop bargaining, would stop expecting me to stay.

My mind is like a tumor that is untreatable, I wish people would understand that and let me pull my own plug.

[salem4]

How do you confide in people about suicidal tendencies, like "hi youre a great friend but I fear I might not make it through the winter" like ???

[mentally-ill-loser-rants]

everything would've been better if I just killed myself at 14

[twentysevendreamer-deactivated2]

You can’t blame me for my bad choices, I’m not supposed to still be here

[take-it-to-my-gravee]

Im actually a life ruiner i ruin everyone and everything around me. I cause problems all the time even if i just am existing… i wish i could just delete myself…

[deadtears777]

I hate people who still tell me it gets better even after 9 years of me just getting worse and worse

[reachingfortranquility]

the only thing that helps me fall asleep is hope that it's for the last time

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Man you have all got to stop making fun of people for shit like not being able to order food or make phone calls or whatever, like anxiety is NOT a joke, it's a serious mental illness that can completely ruin your ability to form relationships and navigate society. I don't care if you think it's "immature" or that someone needs to just "get over it", I think it's a lot more immature to be out here saying the same shit I was hearing from my high school bullies. Grow up and learn some damn compassion.

[monomalo]

i love to be alone but i want to be with someone

i wish i knew someone that felt like being alone

no anxiety, no mental breakdown right before we meet, no sleepless nights thinking about everything i did wrong and weird

i know its not my friends fault i have debilitating anxiety and they make me feel that way but i would like to argue its also not my fault and i wish. i wish i knew someone i was 100% comfortable with

✨

[frettedzetaplushball]

who the hell decided that having a body was a good idea? so much work just to keep them even barely functional. fuel, rest, mental/emotional/physical cleaning and maintenance? what the actual fuck, man? I did not sign up for this shit. that's it. fuck it. I'm not doing it. entropy can have this shitty form.

[celibatedreamer]

[reachingfortranquility]

i need to be fucking killed