Been working on this masterlist for more than a year and would love to share these masterpieces with you all. NONE of the following fics are written by me, this is just my collection of some the most noteworthy fics I’ve read over the years that are forever on my mind and in my heart
Each author is credited and I recommend you check them out and give them a follow if you enjoy their work as well! Fics will continue to get added regularly, and link to this masterlist will be at the bottom of my own masterlist- M 🫶🏻
Tags/Warnings
☁️ Fluff
🌙 Mature / suggestive
🌕 Adults only / smut (18+ MDNI)
⭐️ Personal favourites
Up ahead: Call of Duty, The Last of Us, Star Wars, Narcos, The Pitt, Animal Kingdom, Superman
Call of Duty
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley
‘Indigo’ by @slater-baby ☁️ 🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “Ghost didn't like to dwell on the past. Whatever happened, happened. He left Manchester, covered his face, took a new name. To him, it was little more than moving on from the past, from all the blood and gore of his family life. But then on some bleary, Tuesday morning, you somehow stand before him: his ex from before he was Ghost.”
‘I Feel It In My Bones’ by De_caffeinated on ao3 ☁️ 🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “Bones is a quiet combat medic with a troubled past and enough knowledge to fill a library. As whispers of a new bioweapon begin to spread across Europe, she is assigned to Task Force 141. Still haunted from her previous deployment, she thinks she can only count on witnessing new horrors, spilled blood, and the sound of dogtags clinking against the ground. What she isn't expecting is finding a team to count on, or the way her heart quickens in the presence of a certain skull-faced man.”
‘Ghosts & Mirages’ by @stararch4ngelqueen ☁️ 🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “After a dangerous encounter leading towards your own capture and torture, you; Codename "Mirage", went from one of the best snipers on the task force with a bubbly sense of humor and strong wit, to a stone-cold demeanor woman who let her vendetta get the better of her, almost costing her the lives of her teammates. Ghost wasn't too happy about this, and based off experience, he refuses to let your mind head down that path any further.”
‘Mail Order Bride’ by @beebymoonlight ☁️🌙🌕
‘Squeeze Me, I Squeak’ by Charlie_M on ao3 ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “While your interactions with Lieutenant Riley started out cold and tense, he's been warming up to your secondary specialty. Apparently, you make for a great stress-toy.”
‘Heartless’ by @thevampiremarie ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “You need health insurance. Ghost is sick of sharing living quarters with the rest of the 141. Soap, your childhood friend, thinks the two of you can fix each other’s problems.”
‘Give you the gun (blow me away)’ by endymions on ao3 🌙 🌕 “In the back streets of Prague, you watch through the scope of your rifle as your target—one of Makarov’s inner circle men, the man you’ve been tailing for two and a half weeks—gets his throat viciously slit from behind.”
‘In The Walls’ by @theorist-fox ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “Simon fucks his Sergeant until he’s not sure whether it’s sex or love.”
‘In Limbo’ by @ilium-ilia 🌙🌕 “Joining the mafia is no different than selling a soul to the devil, and it’s something Simon Riley is all too willing to do if it means keeping his family safe. It isn’t until he meets you- the girl who runs from everything- that he realizes there are much worse things to get caught up in.”
‘You’re Drunk’ by @howyoulovelikeweaponskill 🌙🌕“y’wanna know what stupid looks like?” he mutters, head dropping down until his lips near your jaw. “you, wakin up with my fuckin dog tags round your neck and nothin else.”
‘Through Me (The Flood)’ by @peachesofteal ☁️🌙🌕
‘Splinter’ by @bitterrfruit 🌙🌕 “Your car breaks down in a snowstorm. A crude stranger takes you in from the cold.”
‘Houndtooth’ by @bitterrfruit 🌙🌕 “You're the pampered wife of a russian warlord. Ghost hunts you down and finds a use for you.”
Captain John Price
‘Squeak ‘Em If You Got ‘Em’ by Charlie_M on Ao3 ☁️ 🌙 “You belong to Task Force 141. Task Force 141 belongs to Captain Price. It's simple math - but math was never your strong suit.”
‘Landscape with honey’ by @ceilidho ☁️🌙🌕“You've been living in this town for almost six months; it's only now that John's picked up on your scent.”
‘Ursa Major’ by @the-californicationist ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “Lumberjack John Price, retired British Army captain, owns and operates 5,000 acres of selective harvesting land for his logging company. Unfortunately, you work for an environmental firm as a consultant, and it’s your job to tell him he has to stop logging at once since his harvest is encroaching on rare bear habitats. But, something’s not quite right about the bears, or about these lumberjacks, and you’re determined to get to the bottom of it.”
‘I Wonder How Many Days I’ll Bleed’ by thethingsthatimake on Ao3 “Captain John Price is forced to lay low, so Laswell sends him to a secluded home in Alaska - inhabited by you.”
TF141
‘Cherry Red, Crimson Blood’ by @soaps-mohawk ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “Task Force 141 operates successfully without an omega, at least that’s what Price has been saying since its formation. Two alphas and two betas balance the pack just fine, and they have the numbers to prove it. It works for a while, until the Omega Initiative is born and the 141 find themselves having to adjust to the sudden addition of an omega to their pack. Fresh out of an institute, you’re hardly fit for their secretive, dangerous world, or so Price thinks. As each member of the team gets closer to you, things begin to come to light, not only about you but about the decision to force you into their lives. Maybe, just maybe, Price was wrong and the 141 does need an omega after all.”
König
‘Trapper, Keeper’ by @tinypandacakes ☁️🌙 🌕 “A dark, hooded figure emerged from the dense snowstorm, growing far too tall as it approached. You shuffled back weakly in the bloodstained snow and winced as you jostled the trap clamped on your boot “What is this?” the man’s voice rumbled, muffled behind his mask. “You are…not what I expected to catch today.”
‘Obession’ by c4rp3_n0ctem on Ao3 “From the first second he saw you, König was completely and utterly obsessed with you. So when you ran into him late at night, tears streaming down your face, the universe served you to him on a silver platter. "Come in, we can sit down in my room and get you cleaned up, and then you can tell me what happened, ja?" he said quietly, a smirk hidden beneath his mask as he guided you into his room.”
‘Sworn Sword’ by @vivwritescrappythings “You go to a tourney, a knight you’ve never seen before wants your favor”
The Last Of Us
Joel Miller
‘A Stranger’s Heart Without A Home’ by @morning-star-joy ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “After leaving the Fireflies, you ended up in the settlement of Jackson with Tommy, unwilling to part with the only friend you had left. You were even able to carve somewhat of a life out for yourself after a few years. Until Tommy's older brother shows up. You think Joel Miller is gruff and rude, and you're pretty sure he doesn't have a fond opinion of you either. That doesn't stop the attraction you feel for each other, but he's gone in a day. You settle back into a routine, thinking you'll never see him again. Then Joel returns a few months later, and screws up everything about the comfortable life you had established in Jackson.”
‘Short Days, Long Nights’ by @frannyzooey ☁️🌙 🌕 “Part of a band of travelers, your party is slowly picked off one by one, until there are only two of you left. Finding an abandoned cabin in the woods, you decide to make camp there until you figure out your next move. As the seasons change, the nights get longer and longer…”
‘Fear of God’ by @netherfieldren ☁️🌙 🌕 “Big bad Joel Miller falls in love and doesn't know how to deal with it.”
‘So Much To Lose’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by @auteurdelabre “Newly settled into Jackson City, you’re assigned to patrol duty with Joel Miller; a man of rough edges and cool appraisals. His story is buried deep beneath scars of loss while you hide your own grief behind flour-dusted hands and the desperate hope of belonging. What begins as forced proximity slowly shifts into something fragile and all-consuming. But as the past creeps forward through old wounds and the ever-present threat of raiders, your feelings for one another become both a sanctuary and a liability. In a world already broken, where there is already so much to lose, can you let yourself love Joel Miller?”
‘One Thing I’m Missing’ by @pedropeach ☁️ 🌕 “You don't, under absolutely any circumstances, talk about it. Or… You and Joel accidentally end up falling asleep together, and what follows is the beginning of a quiet and tender relationship neither of you saw coming.”
‘Texas Sun’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by fromtheclouds on Ao3 “Joel doesn’t know how to describe what you were to him. You’d never made any promises to each other, but you loved his daughter like she was your own. Had he known what would happen, he wouldn't have let you go.”
‘Lavender’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by @justagalwhowrites “You're a college student in Austin, Texas, who gets a summer job nannying Sarah Miller. It's not long before her dad sees you as more than a babysitter - or more than a friend. But life - and an apocalypse - have other plans.”
‘Yearling’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by @justagalwhowrites “After years of surviving in the wilds of Wyoming after the cordyceps outbreak, you find yourself in Jackson. It's a town filled with friendly faces and the kind of world you hardly remember, let alone can connect with or understand. But one man - Joel Miller, another loner, like you - makes you think that trying to find your place in society again might be worth it.”
Narcos
Javier Peña
‘Siempre’ by @kiwisbell ☁️🌙🌕 “She’s a waitress in a little café. He’s a DEA agent who likes the coffee. Just the coffee. That’s all.”
‘It’s Never Too Late’ by @javierpena-inatacvest ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “You are an elementary school teacher who just moved to Texas for a fresh start when you meet a very handsome man from the Laredo Sheriff's Department coming to give your class a presentation. After your co-workers pull some strings for you to meet again, you and Javier Peña find yourselves falling head over heels for each other.”
‘The Third Wheel’ by songsformonkeys on ao3 ☁️🌙🌕"You had often wondered how you ended up here, the third wheel in the well-oiled, grumpy and semi-alcoholic DEA duo consisting of Steve Murphy and Javier Peña... Actually, that was a lie. You hadn't wondered at all. You knew exactly how you'd ended up here. The two male agents had never been particularly good with following orders, which had been a thorn in ambassador Noonan's side since day one. And as everyone who knew the old saying “if you can't beat 'em, join 'em” could tell you, you were the intended solution to that particular problem. And boy had you let everyone down.
‘Hermosa’ by keala on ao3 🌙🌕 “You shouldn't have gotten so drunk at that Christmas party. You shouldn't have worn that tight, little dress. You shouldn't have offered to take a certain drunk DEA agent home. You also shouldn't have answered that phone.”
Star Wars
Din Djarin
‘Rough Day’ by guardianangelcas on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “Who knew that agreeing to babysit a bounty hunter’s weird, green little child would be so full of surprises.”
‘Beskar Doll’ by @justagalwhowrites ☁️🌙 🌕 “You have a knack for finding trouble, be it in the midst of Galactic Civil War or when trying to live the quiet life after getting out of the game. So when you're stuck fleeing your new home planet after pissing off the wrong people - again - there's only one person willing to take you: the Mandalorian. But after years of fighting faceless men, you're not the trusting type toward someone always wearing a helmet and the Mandalorian quickly suspects there's more to you than he knows.”
‘What Kind of Man’ by so_much_for_stardust on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “The first time she caught sight of that silver armor, she just knew that the man would be trouble. She's just a girl who works in a bar, and he's just a guy who needs a job. They weren't looking for anything. It's funny how the galaxy sometimes gives you something you didn't know you needed at the time when you most needed it. They both just needed to scratch an itch. They weren't going to get into a relationship... they weren't...”
‘Something More’ by @amiedala ☁️🌙 🌕 “Meeting the Mandalorian was like colliding into the rest of your life at a moment’s notice.”
‘Elusive Quarry’ by @ninaloveshiddles ☁️🌙 🌕 “‘And what makes her so elusive?’ his tone bored, pushing Karga to get to the point. ‘I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself, won’t you?’ Mando takes a job hunting down the reader, but bringing her in may be more of a challenge than he realized.”
‘The Space Between (your heart & mine)’☁️🌙 🌕 by dirty_holy_things on ao3 “The galaxy had dealt you a rough hand of sabacc in this life. A family who couldn’t comprehend or understand your connection to the Force; a wolf in sheep’s clothing, who used and abused you for your talents; and you had come to understand that the galaxy cared very little for its inhabitants. But an unexpected visit from a Mandalorian offered you the chance to leave it all behind, to reclaim your place as the author of your story.”
‘The Stowaway’ by ThroneoftheThorn on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 “You hadn't planned on fleeing for your life, jumping planet, and stowing away on a random vessel. Nor had you planned on being employed by a Mandalorian wanted by the empire for kidnapping a random baby, having an imperial bounty on your head, and tagging along on dangerous bounty hunter missions. Least of all, you REALLY hadn't planned on somehow integrating yourself into the tiny clan of two you found yourself in. The force moves in mysterious ways, you suppose.”
Poe Dameron
‘The Bet’ by guardianangelcas on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 “1. No sex. 2. No touching yourself. 3. No orgasms.”
Kylo Ren/Ben Solo
‘Velvet Nights’ by orphan_account on ao3 🌙🌕 “In which you and the Commander Kylo Ren navigate through shared unspoken tensions while recovering information from the wreckage of a First Order TIE fighter.”
’Reconditioned’ by Lionhearted_DragonEmpress on ao3 (deleted fic but it was 500k of the best writing that is forever ingrained in my mind and always deserves to be mentioned)
Superman
Clark Kent
’The Gravity Between Us’ by th3honored1 on ao3 ☁️🌙🌕⭐️ “You grew up beside Clark Kent, the quiet boy with kind, blue eyes and a secret heartbeat. From scraped knees to stolen glances, Smallville held your shared history— but time has a way of turning best friends into strangers. Now you’re a nurse in Metropolis, and he’s the city’s beacon of hope. Maybe you were meant to fall apart. Maybe you'll find your way back.”
‘Take Me Back to Smallville’ by fitbby14 on ao3 ☁️🌙🌕 “You've returned to your hometown of Smallville, here to finally get your life on track and figure out where it is you belong. But your childhood friend, Clark Kent is back too and that...complicates things.”
The Pitt
Dr. Jack Abbot
‘Diagnosis : Married?’ by @s-writing-s ☁️🌙⭐️ “One glitchy tablet, one HR email, and suddenly you’re married to your attending, Jack Abbot. HR thinks it was intentional and has already started merging your records. Claim it was a mistake, and your residency could be delayed. With only three months left until you’re an attending, Jack agrees to play along. Pretending to be married might save your career- but can your heart survive the side effects?”
‘Transatlantacism’ by @se7entyrell ☁️🌙 “Jack Abbot has had a terrible eighteen months. Truly one for the books. Losing his mother, and then you, sometimes he wonders what the point is. If things will ever look up. Until you turn up at the Pitt, with a little girl who looks exactly like him.”
Dr. Michael Robinavitch
‘All For Something’ by @theetherealbloom ☁️🌙 “It’s your birthday, but the Pitt doesn’t slow down for that. Between subway accidents, drownings, shootings, and the quiet heartbreak of patients who come back again and again, you do your best to keep your hands steady and your head clear. Somewhere in the blur of alarms and blood, you realize you’re holding onto something you shouldn’t- feelings for your quietly grieving chief attending. At the Pitt, you don’t just learn how to save lives. You learn how hard it is to ignore your own heart.”
‘My Heart Is On The Floor For You’ by @domesticblisss ☁️🌙 “She never thought she would beat Robby’s seven week itch, but almost a year later, she finds herself in a label-less relationship with him. They are happy, but several little things pile up, and when the arrival of her ex, John Carter, gets added to the mix, the recipe for chaos is served.”
Dr. Brendon Park
‘Vegas Baby’ by @lpmurphy ☁️🌙“A week-long medical conference in Vegas was exactly what you needed- a break from the Pennsylvania winter, a chance to network ass your fellowship wound down, maybe even an excuse to have a little fun. What you absolutely didn’t need was to spend that entire week with Brendon fucking Park; your arrogant, insufferable, asshole of a boss- much less in the same hotel room.”
Animal Kingdom
Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody
‘Redamancy’ by @softundermoonlight ☁️🌙🌕⭐️ “Andrew has survived his whole life by wanting nothing. Until Craig introduces one of his friends, and suddenly, Andrew wants everything and more.”
‘Three Years’ by @fru1t4fr0gs ☁️🌙🌕 “You and Pope have loved each other since you were teenagers. And then he went to prison, and cut you off. No apology, no explanation, nothing. Just a sledgehammer to your heart and utter radio silence.”
‘Before We Knew Better’ by @longlostx11 ☁️🌙🌕 “When Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody was taken into care Smurf pulled some strings and got him put in a place close to Oceanside. That place was with you and your parents. Something Smurf would later regret when she realized that the bond you and Andrew forged in the month he was there was never going away. The years went by and the older boy became your best friend. Your protector. Your person. Fast forward and when Andrew gets out of prison he finds out Smurf’s hatred for you has gone to a whole other level.”
‘Pope’s Girl’ by @evancelinewrites ☁️🌙🌕 “What starts as a mutually beneficial arrangement between you and Pope Cody slowly becomes something far more complicated once the lines between lust, comfort and attachment begin to blur. But the deeper you get pulled into the Cody family, the more you realize people like Pope were never really meant to belong to themselves.”
‘Love You Anyway’ by @rynwrites4fun ☁️🌙 “You’re best friends with Deran Cody, a surfer with big dreams. When he brings you to a party, you meet his brothers but don’t know about their criminal lifestyle. Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody soon realizes you don’t belong in their dangerous world.”
Been working on this masterlist for more than a year and would love to share these masterpieces with you all. NONE of the following fics are written by me, this is just my collection of some the most noteworthy fics I’ve read over the years that are forever on my mind and in my heart
Each author is credited and I recommend you check them out and give them a follow if you enjoy their work as well! Fics will continue to get added regularly, and link to this masterlist will be at the bottom of my own masterlist- M 🫶🏻
Tags/Warnings
☁️ Fluff
🌙 Mature / suggestive
🌕 Adults only / smut (18+ MDNI)
⭐️ Personal favourites
Up ahead: Call of Duty, The Last of Us, Star Wars, Narcos, The Pitt, Animal Kingdom, Superman
Call of Duty
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley
‘Indigo’ by @slater-baby ☁️ 🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “Ghost didn't like to dwell on the past. Whatever happened, happened. He left Manchester, covered his face, took a new name. To him, it was little more than moving on from the past, from all the blood and gore of his family life. But then on some bleary, Tuesday morning, you somehow stand before him: his ex from before he was Ghost.”
‘I Feel It In My Bones’ by De_caffeinated on ao3 ☁️ 🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “Bones is a quiet combat medic with a troubled past and enough knowledge to fill a library. As whispers of a new bioweapon begin to spread across Europe, she is assigned to Task Force 141. Still haunted from her previous deployment, she thinks she can only count on witnessing new horrors, spilled blood, and the sound of dogtags clinking against the ground. What she isn't expecting is finding a team to count on, or the way her heart quickens in the presence of a certain skull-faced man.”
‘Ghosts & Mirages’ by @stararch4ngelqueen ☁️ 🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “After a dangerous encounter leading towards your own capture and torture, you; Codename "Mirage", went from one of the best snipers on the task force with a bubbly sense of humor and strong wit, to a stone-cold demeanor woman who let her vendetta get the better of her, almost costing her the lives of her teammates. Ghost wasn't too happy about this, and based off experience, he refuses to let your mind head down that path any further.”
‘Mail Order Bride’ by @beebymoonlight ☁️🌙🌕 “a collection of scenarios between simon and his mail-ordered bride”
‘Squeeze Me, I Squeak’ by Charlie_M on ao3 ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “While your interactions with Lieutenant Riley started out cold and tense, he's been warming up to your secondary specialty. Apparently, you make for a great stress-toy.”
‘Heartless’ by @thevampiremarie ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “You need health insurance. Ghost is sick of sharing living quarters with the rest of the 141. Soap, your childhood friend, thinks the two of you can fix each other’s problems.”
‘Give you the gun (blow me away)’ by endymions on ao3 🌙 🌕 “In the back streets of Prague, you watch through the scope of your rifle as your target—one of Makarov’s inner circle men, the man you’ve been tailing for two and a half weeks—gets his throat viciously slit from behind.”
‘In The Walls’ by @theorist-fox ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “Simon fucks his Sergeant until he’s not sure whether it’s sex or love.”
‘In Limbo’ by @ilium-ilia 🌙🌕 “Joining the mafia is no different than selling a soul to the devil, and it’s something Simon Riley is all too willing to do if it means keeping his family safe. It isn’t until he meets you- the girl who runs from everything- that he realizes there are much worse things to get caught up in.”
‘You’re Drunk’ by @howyoulovelikeweaponskill 🌙🌕“y’wanna know what stupid looks like?” he mutters, head dropping down until his lips near your jaw. “you, wakin up with my fuckin dog tags round your neck and nothin else.”
‘Through Me (The Flood)’ by @peachesofteal ☁️🌙🌕
‘Splinter’ by @bitterrfruit 🌙🌕 “Your car breaks down in a snowstorm. A crude stranger takes you in from the cold.”
‘Houndtooth’ by @bitterrfruit 🌙🌕 “You're the pampered wife of a russian warlord. Ghost hunts you down and finds a use for you.”
Captain John Price
‘Squeak ‘Em If You Got ‘Em’ by Charlie_M on Ao3 ☁️ 🌙 “You belong to Task Force 141. Task Force 141 belongs to Captain Price. It's simple math - but math was never your strong suit.”
‘Landscape with honey’ by @ceilidho ☁️🌙🌕“You've been living in this town for almost six months; it's only now that John's picked up on your scent.”
‘Ursa Major’ by @the-californicationist ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “Lumberjack John Price, retired British Army captain, owns and operates 5,000 acres of selective harvesting land for his logging company. Unfortunately, you work for an environmental firm as a consultant, and it’s your job to tell him he has to stop logging at once since his harvest is encroaching on rare bear habitats. But, something’s not quite right about the bears, or about these lumberjacks, and you’re determined to get to the bottom of it.”
‘I Wonder How Many Days I’ll Bleed’ by thethingsthatimake on Ao3 “Captain John Price is forced to lay low, so Laswell sends him to a secluded home in Alaska - inhabited by you.”
TF141
‘Cherry Red, Crimson Blood’ by @soaps-mohawk ☁️ 🌙 🌕 “Task Force 141 operates successfully without an omega, at least that’s what Price has been saying since its formation. Two alphas and two betas balance the pack just fine, and they have the numbers to prove it. It works for a while, until the Omega Initiative is born and the 141 find themselves having to adjust to the sudden addition of an omega to their pack. Fresh out of an institute, you’re hardly fit for their secretive, dangerous world, or so Price thinks. As each member of the team gets closer to you, things begin to come to light, not only about you but about the decision to force you into their lives. Maybe, just maybe, Price was wrong and the 141 does need an omega after all.”
König
‘Trapper, Keeper’ by @tinypandacakes ☁️🌙 🌕 “A dark, hooded figure emerged from the dense snowstorm, growing far too tall as it approached. You shuffled back weakly in the bloodstained snow and winced as you jostled the trap clamped on your boot “What is this?” the man’s voice rumbled, muffled behind his mask. “You are…not what I expected to catch today.”
‘Obession’ by c4rp3_n0ctem on Ao3 “From the first second he saw you, König was completely and utterly obsessed with you. So when you ran into him late at night, tears streaming down your face, the universe served you to him on a silver platter. "Come in, we can sit down in my room and get you cleaned up, and then you can tell me what happened, ja?" he said quietly, a smirk hidden beneath his mask as he guided you into his room.”
‘Sworn Sword’ by @vivwritescrappythings “You go to a tourney, a knight you’ve never seen before wants your favor”
The Last Of Us
Joel Miller
‘A Stranger’s Heart Without A Home’ by @morning-star-joy ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “After leaving the Fireflies, you ended up in the settlement of Jackson with Tommy, unwilling to part with the only friend you had left. You were even able to carve somewhat of a life out for yourself after a few years. Until Tommy's older brother shows up. You think Joel Miller is gruff and rude, and you're pretty sure he doesn't have a fond opinion of you either. That doesn't stop the attraction you feel for each other, but he's gone in a day. You settle back into a routine, thinking you'll never see him again. Then Joel returns a few months later, and screws up everything about the comfortable life you had established in Jackson.”
‘Short Days, Long Nights’ by @frannyzooey ☁️🌙 🌕 “Part of a band of travelers, your party is slowly picked off one by one, until there are only two of you left. Finding an abandoned cabin in the woods, you decide to make camp there until you figure out your next move. As the seasons change, the nights get longer and longer…”
‘Fear of God’ by @netherfieldren ☁️🌙 🌕 “Big bad Joel Miller falls in love and doesn't know how to deal with it.”
‘So Much To Lose’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by @auteurdelabre “Newly settled into Jackson City, you’re assigned to patrol duty with Joel Miller; a man of rough edges and cool appraisals. His story is buried deep beneath scars of loss while you hide your own grief behind flour-dusted hands and the desperate hope of belonging. What begins as forced proximity slowly shifts into something fragile and all-consuming. But as the past creeps forward through old wounds and the ever-present threat of raiders, your feelings for one another become both a sanctuary and a liability. In a world already broken, where there is already so much to lose, can you let yourself love Joel Miller?”
‘One Thing I’m Missing’ by @pedropeach ☁️ 🌕 “You don't, under absolutely any circumstances, talk about it. Or… You and Joel accidentally end up falling asleep together, and what follows is the beginning of a quiet and tender relationship neither of you saw coming.”
‘Texas Sun’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by fromtheclouds on Ao3 “Joel doesn’t know how to describe what you were to him. You’d never made any promises to each other, but you loved his daughter like she was your own. Had he known what would happen, he wouldn't have let you go.”
‘Lavender’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by @justagalwhowrites “You're a college student in Austin, Texas, who gets a summer job nannying Sarah Miller. It's not long before her dad sees you as more than a babysitter - or more than a friend. But life - and an apocalypse - have other plans.”
‘Yearling’ ☁️🌙 🌕 by @justagalwhowrites “After years of surviving in the wilds of Wyoming after the cordyceps outbreak, you find yourself in Jackson. It's a town filled with friendly faces and the kind of world you hardly remember, let alone can connect with or understand. But one man - Joel Miller, another loner, like you - makes you think that trying to find your place in society again might be worth it.”
Narcos
Javier Peña
‘Siempre’ by @kiwisbell ☁️🌙🌕 “She’s a waitress in a little café. He’s a DEA agent who likes the coffee. Just the coffee. That’s all.”
‘It’s Never Too Late’ by @javierpena-inatacvest ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “You are an elementary school teacher who just moved to Texas for a fresh start when you meet a very handsome man from the Laredo Sheriff's Department coming to give your class a presentation. After your co-workers pull some strings for you to meet again, you and Javier Peña find yourselves falling head over heels for each other.”
‘The Third Wheel’ by songsformonkeys on ao3 ☁️🌙🌕"You had often wondered how you ended up here, the third wheel in the well-oiled, grumpy and semi-alcoholic DEA duo consisting of Steve Murphy and Javier Peña... Actually, that was a lie. You hadn't wondered at all. You knew exactly how you'd ended up here. The two male agents had never been particularly good with following orders, which had been a thorn in ambassador Noonan's side since day one. And as everyone who knew the old saying “if you can't beat 'em, join 'em” could tell you, you were the intended solution to that particular problem. And boy had you let everyone down.
‘Hermosa’ by keala on ao3 🌙🌕 “You shouldn't have gotten so drunk at that Christmas party. You shouldn't have worn that tight, little dress. You shouldn't have offered to take a certain drunk DEA agent home. You also shouldn't have answered that phone.”
Star Wars
Din Djarin
‘Rough Day’ by guardianangelcas on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “Who knew that agreeing to babysit a bounty hunter’s weird, green little child would be so full of surprises.”
‘Beskar Doll’ by @justagalwhowrites ☁️🌙 🌕 “You have a knack for finding trouble, be it in the midst of Galactic Civil War or when trying to live the quiet life after getting out of the game. So when you're stuck fleeing your new home planet after pissing off the wrong people - again - there's only one person willing to take you: the Mandalorian. But after years of fighting faceless men, you're not the trusting type toward someone always wearing a helmet and the Mandalorian quickly suspects there's more to you than he knows.”
‘What Kind of Man’ by so_much_for_stardust on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 ⭐️ “The first time she caught sight of that silver armor, she just knew that the man would be trouble. She's just a girl who works in a bar, and he's just a guy who needs a job. They weren't looking for anything. It's funny how the galaxy sometimes gives you something you didn't know you needed at the time when you most needed it. They both just needed to scratch an itch. They weren't going to get into a relationship... they weren't...”
‘Something More’ by @amiedala ☁️🌙 🌕 “Meeting the Mandalorian was like colliding into the rest of your life at a moment’s notice.”
‘Elusive Quarry’ by @ninaloveshiddles ☁️🌙 🌕 “‘And what makes her so elusive?’ his tone bored, pushing Karga to get to the point. ‘I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself, won’t you?’ Mando takes a job hunting down the reader, but bringing her in may be more of a challenge than he realized.”
‘The Space Between (your heart & mine)’☁️🌙 🌕 by dirty_holy_things on ao3 “The galaxy had dealt you a rough hand of sabacc in this life. A family who couldn’t comprehend or understand your connection to the Force; a wolf in sheep’s clothing, who used and abused you for your talents; and you had come to understand that the galaxy cared very little for its inhabitants. But an unexpected visit from a Mandalorian offered you the chance to leave it all behind, to reclaim your place as the author of your story.”
‘The Stowaway’ by ThroneoftheThorn on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 “You hadn't planned on fleeing for your life, jumping planet, and stowing away on a random vessel. Nor had you planned on being employed by a Mandalorian wanted by the empire for kidnapping a random baby, having an imperial bounty on your head, and tagging along on dangerous bounty hunter missions. Least of all, you REALLY hadn't planned on somehow integrating yourself into the tiny clan of two you found yourself in. The force moves in mysterious ways, you suppose.”
Poe Dameron
‘The Bet’ by guardianangelcas on ao3 ☁️🌙 🌕 “1. No sex. 2. No touching yourself. 3. No orgasms.”
Kylo Ren/Ben Solo
‘Velvet Nights’ by orphan_account on ao3 🌙🌕 “In which you and the Commander Kylo Ren navigate through shared unspoken tensions while recovering information from the wreckage of a First Order TIE fighter.”
’Reconditioned’ by Lionhearted_DragonEmpress on ao3 (deleted fic but it was 500k of the best writing that is forever ingrained in my mind and always deserves to be mentioned)
Superman
Clark Kent
’The Gravity Between Us’ by th3honored1 on ao3 ☁️🌙🌕⭐️ “You grew up beside Clark Kent, the quiet boy with kind, blue eyes and a secret heartbeat. From scraped knees to stolen glances, Smallville held your shared history— but time has a way of turning best friends into strangers. Now you’re a nurse in Metropolis, and he’s the city’s beacon of hope. Maybe you were meant to fall apart. Maybe you'll find your way back.”
‘Take Me Back to Smallville’ by fitbby14 on ao3 ☁️🌙🌕 “You've returned to your hometown of Smallville, here to finally get your life on track and figure out where it is you belong. But your childhood friend, Clark Kent is back too and that...complicates things.”
The Pitt
Dr. Jack Abbot
‘Diagnosis : Married?’ by @s-writing-s ☁️🌙⭐️ “One glitchy tablet, one HR email, and suddenly you’re married to your attending, Jack Abbot. HR thinks it was intentional and has already started merging your records. Claim it was a mistake, and your residency could be delayed. With only three months left until you’re an attending, Jack agrees to play along. Pretending to be married might save your career- but can your heart survive the side effects?”
‘Transatlantacism’ by @se7entyrell ☁️🌙 “Jack Abbot has had a terrible eighteen months. Truly one for the books. Losing his mother, and then you, sometimes he wonders what the point is. If things will ever look up. Until you turn up at the Pitt, with a little girl who looks exactly like him.”
‘Sometimes’ by @thatcorporategirlie ☁️🌙“sometimes…you meet a handsome doctor during an unexpected airport delay while travelling over the holidays”
Dr. Michael Robinavitch
‘All For Something’ by @theetherealbloom ☁️🌙 “It’s your birthday, but the Pitt doesn’t slow down for that. Between subway accidents, drownings, shootings, and the quiet heartbreak of patients who come back again and again, you do your best to keep your hands steady and your head clear. Somewhere in the blur of alarms and blood, you realize you’re holding onto something you shouldn’t- feelings for your quietly grieving chief attending. At the Pitt, you don’t just learn how to save lives. You learn how hard it is to ignore your own heart.”
‘My Heart Is On The Floor For You’ by @domesticblisss ☁️🌙 “She never thought she would beat Robby’s seven week itch, but almost a year later, she finds herself in a label-less relationship with him. They are happy, but several little things pile up, and when the arrival of her ex, John Carter, gets added to the mix, the recipe for chaos is served.”
‘Hold Still’ by @blinded-by-the-lightz ☁️🌙🌕 “Dr. Michael Robinavitch does not like you. You challenge his authority, question his methods, and refuse to be impressed by seniority alone. He responds with sarcasm, micromanagement, and a refusal to give an inch. For him, control is how he survives loss. For you, distance is how you learned to stay safe. Naturally, you end up sleeping together. What’s meant to be uncomplicated becomes anything but, as grief, control, and avoidance collide in the space between shifts.”
Dr. Brendon Park
‘Vegas Baby’ by @lpmurphy ☁️🌙“A week-long medical conference in Vegas was exactly what you needed- a break from the Pennsylvania winter, a chance to network ass your fellowship wound down, maybe even an excuse to have a little fun. What you absolutely didn’t need was to spend that entire week with Brendon fucking Park; your arrogant, insufferable, asshole of a boss- much less in the same hotel room.”
Animal Kingdom
Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody
‘Redamancy’ by @softundermoonlight ☁️🌙🌕⭐️ “Andrew has survived his whole life by wanting nothing. Until Craig introduces one of his friends, and suddenly, Andrew wants everything and more.”
‘Three Years’ by @fru1t4fr0gs ☁️🌙🌕 “You and Pope have loved each other since you were teenagers. And then he went to prison, and cut you off. No apology, no explanation, nothing. Just a sledgehammer to your heart and utter radio silence.”
‘Before We Knew Better’ by @longlostx11 ☁️🌙🌕 “When Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody was taken into care Smurf pulled some strings and got him put in a place close to Oceanside. That place was with you and your parents. Something Smurf would later regret when she realized that the bond you and Andrew forged in the month he was there was never going away. The years went by and the older boy became your best friend. Your protector. Your person. Fast forward and when Andrew gets out of prison he finds out Smurf’s hatred for you has gone to a whole other level.”
‘Pope’s Girl’ by @evancelinewrites ☁️🌙🌕 “What starts as a mutually beneficial arrangement between you and Pope Cody slowly becomes something far more complicated once the lines between lust, comfort and attachment begin to blur. But the deeper you get pulled into the Cody family, the more you realize people like Pope were never really meant to belong to themselves.”
‘Love You Anyway’ by @rynwrites4fun ☁️🌙 “You’re best friends with Deran Cody, a surfer with big dreams. When he brings you to a party, you meet his brothers but don’t know about their criminal lifestyle. Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody soon realizes you don’t belong in their dangerous world.”
You don’t even need to threaten him with a bad time, Simon already feels like the scum of the earth the moment he recognizes that your morning sickness turned all day long sickness isn’t going to be a quickly fleeting symptom of your pregnancy
He wants to support you, be there for you, show you that he’s in this with you one hundred percent, but he’s not entirely sure on how to put a smile on the face of the woman he loves when she’s spending more time staring down the loo than she is looking at him these days
He doesn’t think it entirely helped his case when his idea of solidarity upon watching you yack for the twelfth time that day, was to try and make himself throw up alongside you
Certainly didn’t help when he’d joked that your latest pregnancy craving is what got him gagging in the first place, a delectable assortment of pickles dipped in only the finest of apple sauces
He at least knows to bite his tongue and avoid repeating the OBGYN’s recommendations on swapping junk food out for more nutritious alternatives, when hot cheetos seem to be the only thing your stomach will tolerate… up until those are fighting back as well and climbing back up your throat like the rest of the food in the kitchen
“Why is bloody tea the only thing your child is letting me consume?” You grumbled unhappily, still sending him a thankful smile as he swapped your empty cup out for a new steaming one, pressing a soft kiss against your temple in the process. “Bad enough I already feel like I have to pee every two minutes, now I actually do.”
“He knows his mum’s got to stay hydrated. Besides, he’s a proper Brit already, feignin’ for a cuppa like his dad.” Simon replied factually, corner of his mouth twitching at the idea of one day preparing three cups instead of just two.
“First off, she is only half British, thanks.” You corrected playfully, still insisting to him that it might be a girl causing you all these tummy troubles, the gender still being a secret to you both. “And I’m pretty sure we were still in Scotland when we made her, so she shouldn’t be craving something like fish and chips or haggis?”
Which country you were actually in when Simon finally knocked you up was still up for debate; a month long honeymoon exploring his corner of the globe together and going at it like rabbits leaves some room for debate on where you were when it actually happened. Simon thinks it was that time he had you on your back in the bed of the rental truck in Cork, whereas you insist it must’ve been that one hotel balcony in Edinburgh.
Regardless, Simon can already notice the way your breath is catching at your last words.
”Love, are you sure you want to talk about things like haggis when you-”
You’re already sprinting for the bathroom, any remnants of food left in your stomach coming up at the mere mention of more. Simon’s only steps behind you, ready to hold your hair back need be, or to rub a soothing hand along your back. It’s going to be long first trimester, full of dry heaving and puke buckets littered around the flat and the most bizarre food cravings he’s ever heard of and late night runs to the shop for more tea bags… and he can’t help but to love every minute of it with you.
Ghost would never willingly see a therapist for his own mental health, but he would go to marriage counselling in order to subject a third party to him and his wife's "arguing as foreplay" kink
To say that you’re surprised to find out the first time you travel together, that Simon supposedly has a fear of flying you never knew of, would be an understatement
It’s just a quick flight out of London, less than an hour in the air to go spend the long weekend together somewhere different for a change
And yet your mountain of a man hasn’t said a peep since the moment you took your seats, eyes staring straight ahead with his hands gripping the armrests for dear life
You’re just a tad bit bewildered on how a lieutenant in the SAS has been harbouring an aversion to flying without you ever hearing of it
Unbeknownst to you, Simon hasn’t got a single problem with flying, he’s just pissed as all hell that you put your own bag in the overhead storage instead of letting him do it when he offered
every time theres a puddle in your path, simon riley carries you over it.
it started on your first date, when you were wearing this pretty white maxi skirt and a pair of white heels. he's walking beside you in all black, typical.
but you get to a puddle. it's not entirely blocking your path, you could have gone around it. he grunts and picks you up, carrying you safely over the puddle. "there you go, love," he says and puts you down.
you walk everywhere after that with his hand on your back.
the rainy season has become simon riley's favourite. because he gets to pick you up and carry you past any puddle that's even a little bit out of your way.
But first! We must thoroughly understand this man's fractured and devastated sense of self. Only then can we truly appreciate how connected he feels to her while finger-banging the soul from her body.
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who from the moment he laid eyes on you, has only ever referred to you as his wife
You, this sweet little thing, running through the halls on base one day when you turn a corner and nearly run headfirst into the Lieutenant, who’s walking alongside Soap
“Oh! Sorry about that, sir.” You told him, never slowing down in your hurried pace as you snuck around his large frame and continued down towards whatever you were evidently late for
The only reason his gaze had followed your retreating form, was that unlike everyone else, you had met his eyes when you spoke, even smiled warmly up at him
That one smile and he was done for
“Who was tha’?” The sergeant had questioned, seeing Ghost’s attention still fixated on you.
“Think that was my wife.”
“Yer what?!”
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who makes it a point to let everyone know that you are in fact his wife
Well, everyone apart from you apparently
He would certainly never abuse his position as a Lieutenant, but some new recruit had the audacity to whistle at you as you walked by? Well 100 laps around the base don’t exactly run themselves
Another soldier saved you a seat next to him in a briefing? He can enjoy scrubbing toilet seats for the next week in that case
Someone actually had the bollocks to ask you for your phone number? Perfect, he needed a volunteer for demonstrating hand to hand combat to the recruits, medics on standby of course
By the time he properly introduces himself to you for the first time, it’s understood by everyone else around that you are, for all intents and purposes, Mrs Riley
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who listens to you tell him your name in a voice that resembles music to his ears, hardly bothering to remember your last name, seeing as it’ll be changing soon enough anyway
“You can call me anythin’ you want, love.” His deep, gravelly voice had sent shivers down your spine, cheeky smirk widening beneath his mask. “So long as you call me, that is.”
By the end of your first date, (you were sitting alone in the dining hall and he wordlessly joined you what do you mean this isn’t a date) he’s wondering if you’ll insist on a ceremony or if he can sweep you away to the nearest courthouse and make this official, slipping a ring onto you finger and himself into you
You had laughed when he put his number into your phone and named himself ‘Husband’, certain that the man was only messing with you, some kind of hazing that you apparently weren’t aware Lieutenants played on the new communications hire, but it was only fair seeing as he’d saved your contact under ‘Wife’
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who is over the moon every time you play along, even if he knows you believe you’re only playing
“Ach, thanks Lt. Just what I needed.” Soap said, seeing Ghost’s approaching form enter the common room, holding a steaming cup of tea in each hand
“S’for my wife. Get your own.” The older man gruffly replied, sliding the mug onto the side table next to where you’re curled up on the couch, reading a book
“Aw, thank you honey.” You giggled, smiling up as him with an expression he thinks would taste even sweeter than honey if he were to run his tongue across your upturned lips
“Happy wife, happy life, sergeant.” Ghost shrugged, ignoring the other man’s pout, landing next to you and reaching an arm behind you across the back of the couch
“God, maybe I really should keep you.” You’d laughed, reaching a leg out to dig your socked toes into his muscled thigh, teasing him
Grasping your foot into his large, strong hands, he began massaging it, uncaring that you were only two of the many people in the common room, not when you looked at him like that, smiling together as though you truly were nothing more than a married couple
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who surprised you one day, insisting he needed your help with something crucial off base, and drove you to a local shopping outlet to look at none other than dresses
“Is there some sort of party happening?” You’d questioned, confused out of your mind
“Suppose you could consider it a party.” He’d answered, leading you through the many racks of dresses, you noticed were all, very conveniently, white
“Now while you’re lookin’ through dress sizes,” he’d added, taking your left hand in both of his. “You know your ring size? Got my own shoppin’ to do ‘round here.”
I’ve just finished reading your ‘bird watching’ and can I just say you write so beautifully and perfected that story to a T you should be so proud of yourself genius!🥹🥹🥹
Thank you so so much 🥹🫶🏻 I really appreciate you saying that
Okay now that the last chapter has been posted is this a safe space for me to say that when I first had the inspo for that original one shot it was based off a dream I had about Joel Miller and that’s why Simon’s working in construction? 😅 forever grateful I posted it as a Simon fic and that it’s turned into what it is now
aka hot construction worker Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x single mom!reader
Devastating : causing severe shock, distress, or grief, or to cause great damage or harm.
Simon Riley has seen his fair share of devastation throughout the years; more often than not he has been the cause of such devastation, leaving behind sorrow in place of footprints and receiving new orders instead of thanks. A man whose age fails to reflect the years behind his eyes and the blood on his hands, should in theory have become closely enough acquainted with devastation to successfully camouflage the shiver of shock that runs down most other civilians spines when faced with such sentiments.
As it stands however? You’re more likely to find drywall plaster beneath his fingernails than blood.
He’s never seen anything like this. At least, not in person. Part of him believed that such sights could only come from a screen, from a perfectly arranged stage, a set with walls ready to tear down when the scene is over.
No, this is devastation of a different kind entirely, a cruelty he himself has never faced before.
“You knew this’d be the outcome, birdie.” Simon murmurs in your ear as his hands smooth along your arms and shoulders, the both of you taking in the scene before you.
“I know, I know. I just- ugh. I thought I would at least make it through setting everything up before I lost it.” You answer him, still fidgeting with the bunch of streamers in your hand.
“I wonder if it ever changes.”
“If what changes?”
“This feeling.” Simon replies, the heaviness behind his tired eyes only growing the longer he glances around the room.
You had to have known this set up would utterly ruin the both of you, hadn’t you?
Sat in the living room with streamers strewn about the walls, beloved and cherished stuffed animals of all sizes are adorned with colorful party hats strapped over their fluffy heads, each with an equally bright helium filled balloon tied to their paws or tails to keep them from floating away.
Rosie’s favourite pals are patiently waiting for her where you’ve carefully set them up in front of empty tea cups and wrapped gifts, the sweetest of little scenes for their playmate, whom, unbeknownst to them, will be waking up as a one year old in the morning.
And perhaps as the cherry on top of it all, dozens upon dozens of framed pictures sit on nearly any and every free surface, displaying glimpses, offering snapshots into the past 365 days that have been Rosie’s first year. Pictures of your very first sonogram turning into pictures of your growing baby bump. Images of a newborn Rosie transforming into a chubby baby with a gummy smile and rolls for days. Pictures of you alone holding Rosie in your arms, rocking her, kissing her, become photos of both you and Simon kissing her squishy cheeks, of Rosie sat atop her dads large shoulders, of a tattooed arm cradling her as she sleeps soundly without a care in the world.
It’s easily the sweetest of first birthday party set ups one could ever dream of. It’s cozy, nostalgic, special, beautiful… and most of all, it’s killing him.
“Oh Si.” You say, dropping the obnoxiously bright streamer in your grip in favour of turning to face him, the burning behind your own eyes worsening as you wrap your arms around his middle. With an ear pressed up against his firm chest you feel more than hear his immense sigh. “I know. I thought I was gonna be able to hold it together but the fucking stuffies are doing it for me. This might be too cute.”
“She jus’-” he goes to reply but has to clear his throat first, emotions rising to the surface as he continues to glance at the photographs of the last year, the best year of his life. “How can she be one? How’s it been a year already, birdie?”
“I don’t know, Simon. Feels like just yesterday I was pulling my hair out looking for a damned daycare when you appeared- and I blinked and here we are now.” You agree, leaning further into his embrace when he presses a kiss to the top of your head.
“I’d argue I didn’t just ‘appear’, love. You were distractin’ my whole crew if I remember righ’, pretty bird like yourself. God, was she ever tiny when I saw her tha’ day.” He shakes his head, recalling the tiny coos that had first caught his attention, unaware that it was his own daughter, his flesh and blood on the other side of that fence that fateful day.
“Pfft.” You playfully scoff in hopes of keeping your tears at bay for a moment longer. “I would argue that she sure didn’t feel tiny when I was pushing her giant head out three weeks early to prevent tearing.” You swat at his chest, though Simon can’t seem to bring himself to chuckle back.
It’s always going to be a sensitive point, a thing of the past that cannot be changed, history that simply cannot be altered, as desperately as he may wish to turn back the clock. But the fact remains the same, Simon wasn’t there the day Rosie was born, unaware that he even had a daughter coming into the world at all. He wasn’t there for any of your pregnancy, apart from the most essential bit of getting you knocked up in the first place, a moment that forever breaks his heart and equally put it back together simultaneously.
“She sure ain’t tiny these days.” He adds, offering you a small smile. “I won’t be needing my weights much longer, if she keeps growing the way she does. Start bench pressin’ her instead.”
“You basically already do, the way you throw her around sometimes.” You laugh, thinking of the endless giggles that erupt from your daughter each and every time Simon pretends to wrestle with the wiggly girl, tossing her onto the bed over and over each time she crawls back to him with that smile of hers she knows he can’t say no to.
“But… yeah. As for this feeling?” You say to him, tightening your grip around him as he does the same, his forehead coming to lean down against yours at an angle that must be anything but comfortable for his neck, and yet he’d happily stay in this position until his last breath. “I don’t think it’s going away any time soon. ‘Fraid it might only get worse, actually.”
“Mm.” Simon acknowledges, pursing his scarred lips for a moment to press a soft kiss against the tip of your nose, contemplating your words and how they compare to the pleasant ache in his chest. “I’ve jus- I never thought-”
He still to this day struggles to put it into words. It’s a complicated task after all, to find the vocabulary fitting enough to describe the ways in which Simon Riley’s life has been turned upside down over and over again since meeting you. Especially considering the fact that there simply are no words appropriate enough in any language known to man that could accurately portray the way in which he will never be the same again.
No sentence he utters to you could ever be enough to communicate just how utterly grateful he is to exist in the same time and place in this universe as you, let alone the idea that he is the man you have chosen to love. He thinks it would be easier to cut himself open, to be displayed under harsh lights and a microscope for you to see how you’ve altered his being down to the very last atom, how the once empty and hollowed out caverns of his heart now beat with a renewed vigour for you and Rosie, how the faded and angry scars on his skin could be put together like a roadmap of his life leading him to you, and only ever you.
“Never knew life could feel like this.” He settles on saying, wishing that he were a smarter man who could tell you everything you deserve to hear. Thought the smile on your lips and the wet sheen of your eyes tells him that he can be content for the night, knowing that perhaps he’s said just what you needed to hear instead.
Tucking Rosie into her crib that night had been a bittersweet affair. On the one hand, Simon felt akin to that American bloke who’d first landed on the moon all those decades before, a feeling inside of his body too large to be a part of this world, to be witnessing something that should have been impossible yet now exists solely for him. He found himself getting dizzy at times, when he truly thought about the contrast of the many lives he’s lived up until this point.
How did a Lieutenant who spent hundreds of hours laid prone behind a sniper’s scope, find himself in the same position as he encouraged his daughter through tummy time? How did a soldier who’d grown to know the taste of MRE’s better than his mum’s cooking, find himself sympathizing with the fussy little girl who refused to open her mouth for the spoonful of baby purée he offered her. How did a life of barking orders at his men through their comms whilst reloading weapons turn into moments of reassuring Rosie that the barking doggies at the park are just happy to see her, all whilst juggling a wriggling baby who knows the safest place in the world is in her father’s arms. How did moments of tying tourniquets above bullet wounds out on the field turn into instances of tying the most minuscule of ponytails in his daughters hair to match with her mama? How did a traumatized boy so ready to give his life up for the call of duty, become a man who no longer feared death but instead walked alongside it with ease, only to become a man who was perhaps starting to live for the first time. Now that he had something worth living for.
Running a hand over her soft, wispy hair as her eyes fluttered shut for the night, Simon’s heart was near bursting at the thought of her eyes reopening in the morning as a one year old. No amount of healing, nor gratitude, nor goddamn therapy for that matter, would be able to replace the lingering ache however, of knowing that he was not there for you girls this time last year. The conversations you’d had following the earth-shattering revelations the two of you had brought to light all those months ago were still ongoing, a healing process that was anything but linear, anything but done, but it was nevertheless evident that a weight was taken off of both your shoulders.
The discovery you’d stumbled upon, the lies you had unearthed, the timeline that slowly began making sense, and finally the damned ghost mask that confirmed everything, had understandably been more than a bit to process. When you’d sat him down after the fact and told him to come clean about everything, he’d been prepared to offer you any receipt, any paystub, any crumb or shred of any evidence that you’d want, would have gone so far as to cut his skull open and allowed you to poke at his brain until you were satisfied. What was his, was yours. His mind, his heart, anything and everything that you wanted from him, you would have. Evidently, as he went through the timing of everything, admitting to his deceits and blatant lies to keep you close, you were pissed, but more than anything you had kept rolling your eyes at him.
“You seriously stole blueprints off your worksite so you’d have an excuse to hopefully keep talking to me?”
“O’ course I did.” He answered without a second’s hesitation.
“Jesus, Si.” You’d scoffed, though the twinkle in your eye told him you maybe weren’t as peeved as you were letting on. “I really had you whipped from the get go, didn’t I?”
You had no idea.
Lying to benefit their daughter and secure her spot in daycare, you’d easily forgiven, if not coming across slightly impressed at his efforts. Simon being absent during your pregnancy and Rosie’s birth, begrudgingly not as easy to move past, but ultimately forgiven, seeing as he was none the wiser about the fact that you were expecting, in spite of your efforts to find him. You knew it was something he would beat himself up over for the remainder of his days, the least you could do was not rub salt in the wound.
No, it was the money and the hiding that came afterwards that ticked you off the most, though with time you reluctantly conceded that you understood he only ever had Rosie’s and your best interests at heart, even if he’d gone about it the entirely wrong way. You knew he meant well, that this was him trying to be a good man, something he hadn’t had an example of growing up.
The biggest concensus that the two of you came to after many late night discussions on the topic was simple; Simon would never lie to you again.
A promise, if not an eternal vow he intended to keep ‘til death do you part, that the man occasionally took a tad too seriously. No, Simon Riley never lied to you ever again, if anything the already painfully blunt man became even more honest than he’d ever been.
He told you the truth when you asked if he was tired coming home after a long shift on the job site (“M’always tired, love.”), didn’t lie when you asked him for his opinion on a new outfit for Rosie (“My baby looks like Humpty Dumpty in tha’ jumper. So if tha’ was the goal, s’pose you did good.”), all too ready to comment on your shopping as well now apparently, (“Fuckin’ hate those trousers. Your arse looks too good, can’t focus on nothin’ else.”), and was honest with you even when it was technically incriminating.
There had been that one day earlier in the summer, when the weather had finally shifted into warmer rays of sun against your skin, when the breeze blowing in your hair came as more of a relief than a shiver down your spine, and you’d packed away the jumpers, boots, and beanies in favour of t-shirts, sneakers, and sunglasses. Rosie’s summer wardrobe, an amalgamation of colourful dresses and bright shirts and just about everything that likely made up an OshKosh B’gosh catalogue back in the day, was hung on hooks in her closet and folded into drawers in her dresser where they belonged, rather than stuffed into your own closet back in your old flat. Your change of wardrobe for the season however, seemed instead to only live rent free in Simon’s mind.
Those shirts of yours with plunging necklines he could stare down all the day from where he’s standing, or tank tops that hug your cleavage just enough to have his knees wobbling, or shorts that have him pulling double takes whenever you walk by.
And of course… your damn sundresses.
Like that yellow one you’d dawned that morning when you pulled up to his latest construction site, a fussy Rosie in tow, tucked into her pram and not the least bit shy to voice her complaints about it, until she realized they were nearing her dad. He’d been so entranced by the sight of you twirling around the kitchen in that fucking dress that morning, his chubby baby sat on your hip as she giggled and babbled to her hearts content, none of you noticing that he’d forgotten his packed lunch until it was nearly noon.
And so there you were on your day off, (a part of those long discussions you’d had with Simon resulting in the agreement that you would work four days a week at your job, not because you had to for money, but because you wanted to, leaving your Fridays free to give Rosie a day off of nursery to be closer to her mum) his two girls a vision to behold as he spots them nearing the site, a scene so similar to how this all came to be in the first place.
And if he had to adjust his tool belt to hide the growing bulge in his pants at the sight of you- well that was no one’s business but his.
“Didn’t have to come all this way, birdie.” He’d muttered, long legs stretching to meet you half way, quick to drop a kiss against your temple as he wiped his saw dust covered hands against his trousers before reaching into the pram to pick up the now squealing girl.
“Dadadadadadada. Dadadada!”
“As you can hear, I had nothing to do with this outing.” You’d chuckled, reaching up on tip toes to wipe the dirt off his brow, your arm coming to rest against his bulging bicep as he gently bounced Rosie. “Besides, we don’t want dada going hungry when there’s a perfectly good lunch waiting for him.”
“Completely forgo’ it. Thank you, love.”
A sweet and simple gesture, a short visit before you were off to some park or another, promising to have dinner ready by the time Simon would be home after work. It wasn’t the first time you’d swung by his work in recent months, and likely wouldn’t be the last, and so the men working on his crew had hardly blinked an eye at the mum and baby stealing attention away from their boss, well aware of who you were.
“Christ, did you see the arse on her? I’d never pack a crumb if she was the one comin’ to feed me.”
Or at least… the new hire wasn’t aware.
Simon’s head was whipping around faster than should have been possible, eyes narrowed on the bloke who was unaware that his comment had been heard, though his gaze lingering on your behind as you walked away was more than enough for the former Lieutenant.
“Oy!” Simon had shouted his way, corner of his mouth twitching when he watched the young man turn without a worry, unaware of the way looks his fellow crew members were sending his way, not a single soul envious of the position he’d just put himself in. “Come ‘round ‘ere wit’ me. You’re gon’ help me put up a wall.”
Now, Simon Riley might have been retired for some time, might spend more time nowadays changing nappies and washing formula out of bottles than he did reloading magazines and washing blood of his balaclava, but there would always be something slightly darker within him, instincts more nefarious than anything else.
He wouldn’t do anything that jeapordized his life with you and Rosie, no, nothing quite like that. No, he couldn’t shoot first and ask questions later anymore, had to live a civilians life and colour within the lines so to speak. But that didn’t mean that the former Lieutenant, the man who’d survived unimaginable tortures and inflicted just as much suffering, couldn’t get a little … creative at times?
“You jus’ make sure you’ve got a good grip on it, yeah?”
“Don’t we need another lad for this, sir?” The young bloke, Harrison or Harry or whatever his bloody name was, had skeptically asked his superior.
“Nonsense.” Simon immediately shut down, adjusting his hold on the frame as he got ready to lift it up. “You’re young, ain’t ya? Strong? Now take that side and hold it steady while I secure it.”
A better man might have felt bad about this, even in spite of the man’s crude comment earlier, seeing as the lad clearly had little to no idea what he was doing on a construction site, following his boss’ order without knowing any better. But what was the point in teaching Rosie to say please and thank you, if grown men didn’t seem to have any bloody manners themselves? Better to teach him a lesson that’ll stick.
“Righ’. Lemme make sure this last stud is secure- and that does it. Not half bad. Should hold steady.” Simon gruffs, bringing the nail gun down and testing the strength of the wood in front of him. The wall didn’t budge in the slightest, perfectly secure where the men had installed it. Though, it was a shame that the bloke hadn’t realized he probably should have been standing on the other side of the wall, before they secured it.
“Uh- boss?” His voice had cracked as his eyes suddenly scanned his surroundings, realizing a moment too late that he’d essentially trapped himself. Or rather, let himself be trapped. “How am uh- how am I gettin’ out?”
“Well that’s up to you Hank-”
“It’s Henry.”
“-but you’d better not mess up the job. Lumber ain’t so cheap these days.” Simon had shrugged all too casually, picking up his tools and beginning to walk away, a cheeky smirk plastered to his face the entire time. “Oh, and kid?”
He hadn’t bothered turning to look back at him, but could just picture the lad’s eyes widening in slight panic.
“Watch your fucking mouth when you’re talkin’ ‘bout my wife.”
And so of course, when he arrived home that night, greeted to the smell of a home cooked meal and the gummy smile of his daughter, he had no reason nor motivation to lie to you, when you asked him how the rest of his day had been.
“You can’t wear those dresses ‘round the site anymore, lovie. I almost recreated The Cask of Amontillado, today.”
“Not too late to cancel this bloody party, is it?”
“Oh, only just entirely.” You roll your eyes in a playful jest, swatting at his hands as you slip out of his grip and go to correct the party hat tipping on Winnie the Pooh’s head, knowing that Simon was far from being as reluctant over this get-together than he’s been letting on. “Besides, I know you’ve been looking forward to this in your own way, what would we cancel for?”
“Don’t need anyone seein’ me like this.” He gruffs, stepping forward to hang the last streamer along the wall where you’d instructed him to.
“What? To see you with feelings? Normal, human, dad feelings?”
“Precisely.”
“No chance, Riley. Our first baby only turns one once.” He ignores the stutter his heart makes at hearing you say your first baby, as though the certainty of there eventually being a second baby was inevitable, instead silently accepting the roll of painters tape you pass him. “And besides, we still haven’t hosted anyone here since we moved into this house.”
It was true, in the few months since the three of you had officially settled into your first family home, no one apart from the three of you had been inside, wrapped in the bubble of enjoying the first place you could all call yours.
The first thing he’d purchased for the new home was a can of yellow paint. Well, that and many, many packs of nicotine gum. Along with repainting walls (a yellow nursery for Rosie had been the first thing on his to do list), updating hardware, assembling and moving furniture, changing light fixtures, installing a tiny swing on the strongest branch of the tree in the backyard, and most importantly, getting the security measures around the house and property up to his standards, Simon had decided to officially quit smoking.
He’d started weaning himself off the day he met you, knowing that he shouldn’t be smoking around the baby for one, but also not liking the wrinkle you’d occasionally get between your eyebrows when he’d come back from a quick smoke, the shirt on his back that you’d usually like to steal from him for bed at night now reeking of cigs.
But aside from that, Simon Riley wasn’t going to let something as human as lung cancer potentially shorten his time with his girls, and so if satisfying his cravings with shitty nicotine gum and ignoring the occasional shake in his hands was the slight price to pay, he’d make do. The man had yet to run across something he would not do for his girls. For his family.
“Hey.” You say, pulling his attention back to you, the kind look in your eyes far more interesting than whether the streamer is level or not. He’ll fix it later if you don’t like it. “I know it’s going to be a lot. We can keep it as short and sweet as you’d like tomorrow. Could always claim Rosie has a blowout and see how fast our guests scatter after that.”
Simon can’t help the soft chuckle that slips out, his heart warming at the idea of you, his forever partner in crime, coming up with whatever scheme it takes to ensure he isn’t uncomfortable any longer than he has to be. God, how he’s glad you’ll never have to know any life other than that of a civilians, but what he wouldn’t give to see your mind in action when you don’t have time to hesitate. It’s always been a match of quick wits between the two of you, so lord knows what you’re both in for once Rosie starts properly talking.
“‘Fraid not even tha’ would scare my men away.” He replies steadily, though he cannot help the way his chest unconsciously puffs out with pride as he mentions the lads.
Nearly two years. Two bloody years since he’s seen hide nor hair from any of the lot. He doesn’t blame them in the slightest, understands better than anyone how distorted time becomes when you don’t have a home to go back to after the job is finished, only just resting long enough to say you have before picking up the next one.
He also knows that he was a broken shell of a man the last time he saw his fellow task force members, having to avoid his piercing gaze as he was handed forced retirement papers with his boots scarcely back on the tarmac. He’d become too unpredictable, too careless, too much of a risk. The higher-ups were cutting him loose and leaving his men to watch as the the tie was severed.
But that was two years ago now. A different time. A different man.
And as well as he once knew his former Captain, Simon cannot be sure what Price would have been expecting to hear from him after so much time apart. Though he can’t help but to wonder if the man who’d become the closest thing he has to a father figure, hasn’t been keeping his own eye on him from a distance, when he so readily and unflinchingly accepts the invitation to his daughters first birthday party.
“Oh really? Your explosives buddy isn’t gonna flinch when he finds out a blowout involves more wipes and diapers than it does TNT?” You giggle to yourself, taking a step back to admire your handiwork, the last hour or so of prep the two of you have put into decorating.
“If he does, would be the first time I’ve ever seen ‘im flinch.”
“I’m excited to meet them. Feels like I’m meeting your family, or something.” You say, continuing to step around the living room, straightening things that don’t need correcting, more so just keeping your hands busy now.
“They’re good as.” Simon mentions, stepping closer to slip his hand into yours before you can fidget with anything again. “Saved my life more times than I care to remember. They’re good men. But it’s them that are comin’ to meet my family, birdie. Not the other way ‘round.”
Your gaze softens as you squeeze his hand, knowing that behind your genuine excitement to meet some of the most significant people in Simon’s life, are the unavoidable nerves that come along with meeting such important figures to someone you love.
“M’sorry your folks aren’t comin’, birdie.” He adds, giving your palm a firm squeeze, the sincerity in his words as true as they come. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. How you had family still living, still breathing, who said they loved you and cared for Rosie, but yet had still to meet their granddaughter? Who hadn’t even come to see you once while you were pregnant, let alone when you gave birth by yourself?
“Oh, it is what it is.” You shrug nonchalantly, though the hurt is evident in the way you can’t quite meet his eyes. “They keep saying they’ll fly over eventually, that the timing is tricky on their end. But- I’m not worried about it, Si.”
“No?”
“No. Not when I’ve got everything I could ever need right here.” You affirm, locking eyes with him and offering a meek smile. “Speaking of which, I don’t think this party needs any more decorating, we’ve probably already overdone it.”
Simon smiles softly back at you, letting you evidently change the subject, though his nod of approval as he glances around the room suggests he’s also willing to put an end to the decorating.
“Think we should keep the picture frames up afterwards. I like seein’ em.” He mentions, stepping closer to the side table lined with a dozen photos. “Tell me ‘bout this one.” He says, gesturing towards a photo of you caressing your swollen stomach, bump fully on display with your shirt shoved up and out of the way.
“Oh gosh,” you say, coming to stand next to him, bringing the frame up closer to you both. “This was when I felt about as big as a house. None of my clothes were fitting anymore, my feet were beyond swollen. Lo and behold, she was born almost exactly a week later.”
God, what he wouldn’t do to turn back the clock. You could’ve started wearing anything you wanted from his closet when your clothes got too tight, he would have massaged your aching feet every chance he got, would have told you that ‘being as big as a house’ just meant that your body was your daughter’s first home. He would have squashed all your fears, soothed all your worries, loved on you that way you deserved.
Alas, the past was the past. And there was no time like the present to make things right.
“Beautiful.” He practically whispers, bringing a calloused finger up to carefully caress the image of your swollen belly, his little girl in there. “You were so beautiful, love. Are so beautiful. Wish I’d seen you like tha’.”
He can’t help but to come up behind you, to press his chest against your back, to drag his hands over to your abdomen, the same body that grew and birthed his daughter, the same one her worships every opportunity he gets.
“Can’t wait for you to look like tha’ again.” He teases, scarred lips brushing against your ear, lips twitching when he feels a shiver run through you.
“Oh my god, you cannot say things like that to me when I’m emotional like this.” You reply, though the way you fully lean back into him, pressing your hands over top of his, tells him there’s little to no bite behind those words.
“Mm, why’s that love?”
“You know why.”
“‘Fraid I don’t.” He answers, moving his lips from your ear down to your neck, planting teasing kisses along your exposed skin, goosebumps spreading across your flesh like a wildfire. “You see, when I look at tha’ picture, when I think ‘bout you all round with our baby, with my baby, makes me think o’ all the ways I would have made you feel good.”
“Yeah?” You ask, your breaths coming quicker, heart beating faster against his own, craning your head farther back to give him more access, an invitation that his lips greedily accept.
“Oh yeah. Thinkin’ ‘bout how I would’ve been living between those delicious thighs. Never not havin’ my mouth on you. Pulling those sweet little noises from you.”
“Simon.” You groaned, pushing your hips back against his, letting one of his hands slip upward to give your breast a gentle squeeze, while the other worked its way down, teasing the skin just above your underwear.
“What do you say, birdie?” He mumbled against your skin, mouth hot against your collarbone now as he pulls you closer against him, his arousal evident in the way he rubs against you. “What better gift for Rosie than a sibling, hmm?”
“Bedroom. Now.”
“Simon! Where are we going? I thought we were grabbing the cake.” You ask him, confused as to why he’s dragging your through the house in the middle of Rosie’s party. “Who even has our baby right now?”
“Your friend Sarah’s got her, she’s alrigh’ for a minute.” Simon reassures, still clutching your hand as he leads you towards the garage. “Jus’ wanted to show you something, alone.”
Thank goodness your best friend was here to hold her for a moment, you couldn’t picture passing Rosie off to any of those 141 men currently sat in your living room.
It was a small gathering, just you and Simon, your best friend and her boyfriend, and Simon’s task force mates, coming to visit for the first time ever. You’d been more than a tad nervous to meet them, knowing that these were the men that Simon not only considered as family, but who were likely the reason he was still alive and kicking today, having saved his life more than once before you met him. Meeting them however, was like putting the last piece of the puzzle together.
You watched a weight physically being taken off of Simon’s shoulders when their vehicles had pulled into the driveway, the bear hugs the men exchanged speaking volumes about the time they’d spent together, the memories they shared, along with those they’d prefer to forget.
They greeted you just as warmly, treating you like a friend they hadn’t seen in a while, rather than a stranger they were meeting for the first time. You didn’t know them very well, nor did they know you, but you were Simon’s, and that made you good as gold in their eyes.
Rosie, on the other hand.
“Ach, i’s as if LT’s shrunk down and turned bonnie.” Johnny’s accent had rang out, as he and Rosie stared one another down.
The lads were overjoyed, if not a touch apprehensive, at meeting the littlest Riley, though it would appear Rosie did not immediately share the sentiment.
“She’s got her dad’s stare, that’s for sure.” John had said before pulling a swig of beer, each man nodding as they recognized Simon’s piercing gaze in the form of a stubborn one year old, her unwillingness to smile at them almost endearing, if only solidying that she was in fact Simon’s daughter.
“I swear, she looked like she was going to bite Kyle when he suggested holding her.” You giggled, leaning a hip against the spare freeze in the garage when he came to a stop next to it.
“Ah, she’ll warm up to ‘em. She’s jus’ givin’ ‘em a hard time.”
“Well how about before she does start to defrost, you tell me what we’re doing in here?”
“Got somethin’ for you.” Simon replies, reaching to open the freezer before angling his face back to you. “Close your eyes for a second, birdie.”
“Hmm, okay.” You said, none too suspiciously as you shut your eyes, always trusting him, but unsure of just what the had in store. You heard the familiar sound of the freezer opening, Simon rustling around before the door was slamming shut again.
“Go ‘head and open ‘em.” He told you, voice softer now. Slowly, you did just that, opening your eyes to find something bright and red sat atop the freezer now. Your brows furrowed for a moment, recognizing that you were looking at a small, heart shaped cake, slathered in red icing, and not at all the same cake you’d baked for Rosie yesterday. You were about to question him- when you read what was written in icing across the top of the cake.
‘Happy one year breastfeeding’
“Simon-”
“I know it’s been a lot. Or rather- I can only imagine how much of a burden it’s been. To breastfeed for Rosie and continue pumping up until she turned one. That’s a whole year, love. Of putting your needs aside, putting your body through that. I’ve seen you uncomfortable, and aching, and- I jus’ wanted to give you this. Celebrate you a bit today, too.”
Every time you think you’ve learned everything there is to know about Simon Riley, just when you think he cannot surprise you any more, he goes and multiplies the love you thought you had for him by another infinity or so. It’s hard to believe that he once sincerely thought he would have to endure a life without love, when there is so much inside of him.
“Oh, Si.”
“Before you start cryin’, there is one more thing.” He says quickly, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Oh, really?”
“I migh’ have- stretched the truth, the other nigh’.”
“Stretched the truth?” You asked with an inquisitive raise of your brow, curious to know where this was going.
“‘Bout how many gifts she was gettin’.”
“Oh boy.” You said with a giggle. “Okay, so ‘stretching the truth’ was your way of not quite lying about it but-”
“You’re the one who said our first born only turns one once, love.”
And that was the story of how Simon recruited his mates, his fearsome, deadly, intimidating task force members, into sneaking a kitten into your home.
The runt of its litter, the frail little thing was meowing incessantly when Simon had rescued him from the shelter, the tiny creature passed up by every other family who was thrown off by its missing eye. Where others saw something different, something strange and perhaps unlovable, Simon saw himself. And if anyone knew how to love weird, unlovable creatures, it was you. Rosie’s scowls aimed at the 141 men instantly transformed into the most delighted of shrieks and giggles when they presented her with her newest companion, an itty bitty little thing that was decidedly named Kitty, when Rosie called out to him and he came trotting her way.
Rosie would have that cat with her for another fifteen trips around the sun. That damned cat, as Simon would come to call him each time he nearly tripped over it as it weaved through his legs, would be there to see Rosie’s first steps, would happily eat whatever food was thrown off of her high chair, would rub his head against her leg as she sniffled over a scraped knee learning to ride her bike, would leave its fur clinging to her first day of school uniform, and would even be waiting cautiously by her side as her mum and dad brought her baby brother home from the hospital. That cat would be sleeping with her on her bed up until she was a teenager, tail flicking in acknowledgment when Simon would poke his head into her room at night, because no matter how big she’d get, he’d always check in on her. Would always be there to comfort his children should a nightmare dare to creep into their heads at night, knowing just what a pair of comforting arms and a warm embrace can do for someone.
What your embrace did for him.
But no, Simon Riley hasn’t had a nightmare in a long, long time.
Not when every day still felt like a dream.
Epilogue coming Friday May 22nd…
If you’ve made it this far: thank you, thank you, thank you 🫶🏻
