last year i abstain, this year i desire

without guilt, which is also an art.

[realmsdelite]

independent & private rhaenyra targaryen from george r. r martin’s fire and blood — loved by kore ( she / they, 21+ ) book based and heavily influenced by my own headcanons. I also use my own research into medieval historical societal conventions to fill in the gap left in fire and blood relating. due to the nature of rhaenyra’s story, triggers will be present on this blog and it will be tagged accordingly. including but not limited to: depictions of heavy misogyny, body shaming, incest, grooming, violence, child loss, pregnancy loss, pregnancy trauma, anxiety, depression and mentions of violence against children.

a study in: the deconstruction of a fantasy princess, grief, a journey in motherhood, the loss of innocence, heavy is the head, the price of duty, living through the twisting of your own narrative, and the continued struggle for assertion of one’s own authenticity and autonomy.

affiliates: @daekarys , @lcerys , @perzyr , @absolventiia , @loreforged .

exclusives: @sinfyre / @vulturepit ( + affiliates )

sides: @draconisi , @dreamedheir .

other main blogs: @amongvipers and @aprincesstoo

RULES BELOW:

muse ≠ character — my muse’s feelings on your character do not equal my own feelings, and I reserve the right to have my muse react however I deem is the most in line with how I believe she would react in that situation. and your muse is more then welcome to react in turn however you see fit. even if the outcome is antagonistic, I want the dynamics that I build on this blog to flow naturally, for better or for worse, whether that makes her a new friend, or a new enemy.

while I am very much open to shipping, it’s never really been a huge priority of mine. she is a demisexual and biromantic woman, and she is married in her main verse, and she’s been married by that point for years, whether it be to ser laenor velaryon or to prince daemon targaryen. while she did take a lover during her marriage to laenor, that was a risk that she only took because she trusted harwin strong. trust is big in shipping with her, and she needs to build that foundation of emotional intimacy and closeness before she begins to feel sexual attraction. there needs to be a friendship first, before there is romance. the majority of my shipping is going to take place in alternate universes, which I am more then willing to plot.

my activity level does not equal my interest level. I am neurodivergent and my activity level varies, and there are some days where I will write a lot, and others when I will not write anything and it never means I don’t want to interact, it just means that I’m finding it difficult to summon the spoons on that exact day. I do plan on getting to everything that I owe, I only ask that you please be patient with me. I do try to kickstart interactions by sending memes to new or old mutuals, and sending a quick im to let it be known I am very much in interested in plotting.I am on discord, but if that isn’t an option for you, or it isn’t something you are comfortable with I am more then willing to keep up a conversation on tumblr ims. you are never under any obligation to match lengths with me. I am fully understanding of the fact that I tend to write a lot, and it’s, just a thing that I need to do get the muse going, and it’s never something that I expect in turn.

if I follow you, and you’re not in my fandom, I want to write with you. different universes are my very favorite thing, and I will make a verse for you in your world so we can write there together or i can help you create one in asoiaf, or we can write in a whole other world together — as long as we’re both having fun and we create something beautiful together, it does not matter where we set it. I do have a general fantasy verse available that I need to write up, as well as a thg, iwtv, sw, xmen / mutant verse, asoiaf book, as well as no rebellion book au and a subsequent adaptable game of thrones show verse for my show only mutuals.

as for house of the dragon, I do not follow that canon in my main verse, but I do have a show verse that I have developed for show based mutuals, with the only difference that bears immediate noting being a decidedly smaller focus on the a song of ice and fire prophecy in rhaenyra’s narrative. it is a thing that exists in the back of her mind that serves as a point of hope, and resolution whenever she begins to feel as if she isn’t fit for the place she’s been given.

no racism, homophobia, zionism, transphobia, xenophobia or bigotry of any kind will be tolerated. if you whitewash your characters that are heavily alluded to / are outright confirmed to be characters of color you will be blocked. it costs nothing to be respectful to one another. it costs nothing to be kind to one another.

you have the right to curate your space in a manner in which you feel safe in, and as do I. if you feel the need to break mutuals with me for any reason, all I ask is that you hard block me instead, so I know that it isn’t tumblr’s doing and accidentally make things uncomfortable for the both of us.

[realmsdelite]

for the time being, find rhaenyra over here. on a side to my elia martell @amongvipers

[realmsdelite]

for the time being, find rhaenyra over here. on a side to my elia martell @amongvipers

[realmsdelite]

for the time being, find rhaenyra over here. on a side to my elia martell @amongvipers

[realmsdelite]

for the time being, find rhaenyra over here. on a side to my elia martell @amongvipers

[realmsdelite]

for the time being, find rhaenyra over here. on a side to my elia martell @amongvipers

[resourcesinblue]

queen charlotte: a bridgerton story.

the following prompts were taken from queen charlotte: a bridgerton story, a netflix miniseries which acts as both prequel & interquel to bridgerton, primarily focused on the relationship between the eponymous queen charlotte, & king george the third, whom she did not meet until their wedding day, as well as the secrets george endeavours to keep from her. some prompts have been lightly edited for roleplaying suitability. please note ― these prompts may include mentions of violence, death, mental illness, sexual innuendo, sex, & pregnancy, as well as indirect spoilers for the season. feel free to change pronouns & prompts as you see fit !

❛ you give the appearance of a statue. ❜

❛ art can be beautiful to gaze upon, you are ridiculous to the eye. ❜

❛ because i must arrive on display, i am forced into a ludicrous gown, so stylish that if i move too much, i might be sliced & stabbed to death by my undergarments. ❜

❛ oh, how joyful it is to be a lady. ❜

❛ i am angry, & i cannot breathe, & both are thanks you to, [ name. ] ❜

❛ [ name ], you were chosen. this is a great honour. ❜

❛ you could have told them to choose someone else, someone stupid enough to want it. ❜

❛ there is reason they wanted me, a stranger, & it cannot be a good reason. ❜

❛ turn the carriage around, i am not doing this. ❜

❛ i take full responsibility for the fact that you are now exceedingly headstrong, & mistakenly think you can make decisions. ❜

❛ i cannot question, because i cannot make an enemy of the most powerful nation on earth. ❜

❛ it is done, so shut up, do your duty to our country, & be happy. ❜

❛ i am sorry, but there are worse fates than marrying [ name / title. ] ❜

❛ sit back. you are endangering my gown. ❜

❛ i need to look perfect when i arrive, do i not ? ❜

❛ i am sorry to disturb you at this hour with such news. ❜

❛ have you no sense ? it is treasonous to interrupt my beauty sleep ! ❜

❛ if i could still have people beheaded, you would be in the queue. ❜

❛ it causes one to wonder, is [ name ]’s knowledge of how to make a good marriage nothing but talk ? ❜

❛ please be your most agreeable. ❜

❛ i brought my wedding gown. ‘tis quite a perfect fit. ❜

❛ walk with me. i have questions. ❜

❛ i am always with you, [ name / title ], five paces behind. ❜

❛ it is a problem. people will talk. ❜

❛ we cannot cancel the royal wedding on the day ! ❜

❛ you gave me no warning ! ❜

❛ is it not enough that i must endure that, & now i must endure that without warning ?! ❜

❛ the butler says he received a letter from the palace. ❜

❛ our side & their side do not mix. ever. ❜

❛ you are to attend the new [ king / queen ] as part of their court. ❜

❛ do not gawk like a peasant. behave as though you’ve been here before. ❜

❛ all the members of the ton must be titled. ❜

❛ there is a problem. the [ bride / groom ] is missing. ❜

❛ i think they may be a beast. ❜

❛ i do not care what they look like, what i do not like is not knowing. ❜

❛ you want me to lift you over the wall so you may escape ? ❜

❛ people will notice you are missing, will they not ? ❜

❛ i have absolutely no intention of helping you. ❜

❛ please, accept my apology. if i had known that you were you … ❜

❛ no – one told me you would be this beautiful. you may be too beautiful to marry me, people will talk ! ❜

❛ you have arrived at the most opportune moment, [ name ] was just deciding whether or not they wanted to marry me. ❜

❛ i should get back, as i suspect that by now there are some very anxious guards who think i am kindapped. ❜

❛ do not tell me you are still hesitating ? ❜

❛ be careful, [ name. ] & know that if you send for me, i shall come. ❜

❛ are we not supposed to do what married people do ? ❜

❛ what is wrong ? what have i done ? whatever it is, i am sorry. ❜

❛ [ name ], this is how it is to be ? ❜

❛ [ name ], this is for the best. ❜

❛ i hope in time you’ll become used to me, [ name / title. ] ❜

❛ my word, there are impressionable ladies present ! ❜

❛ virgins to the left of me, whores to the right. ❜

❛ dearest, i explained everything to you. i drew you pictures. you are doing it correctly, making sure they’re putting it in the right place ? ❜

❛ there is much talk. this must be a success. ❜

❛ have they done the deed or not ? ❜

❛ the passage of time does not always reap benefits, & perhaps good things do not always come to those who wait. ❜

❛ break it off, & find a suitable [ man / woman. ] ❜

❛ if i were married to you, i would flee the country as well. ❜

❛ this bloodline will continue ― you will make it continue. ❜

❛ is there a problem ? a deformity ? is there something wrong with their bits ? ❜

❛ is this how you have been spending your time since the wedding ? ❜

❛ [ name ], what have i done wrong ? what mistake did i make ? ❜

❛ do not become unreasonable. ❜

❛ i have been stuck in that stuffy house, being changed like a doll, three times a day, with nowhere to go, no ― one to talk to, & nothing to do. ❜

❛ i do not understand what you complain about ! ❜

❛ i cannot make friends. i must hold myself apart. ❜

❛ i do not know a single soul here except for you. ❜

❛ i want to fight with you ! fight with me, fight for me ! ❜

❛ the ton are a horrid lot ― even their maids are high in the instep. ❜

❛ they’ve been given a taste, & now they will not be denied. ❜

❛ you shall not tell me what i’m allowed to do. ❜

❛ please speak freely. no – one else does. ❜

❛ do not try that again in front of society. it will cause scandal. ❜

❛ if you did not consummate the marriage, you are not actually married to them. ❜

❛ your whole position is in danger. ❜

❛ i do not believe i have ever thought of it as something to enjoy. ❜

❛ you are the first of your kind. you must secure your position. ❜

❛ you would think i am sending them to the tower. i am telling them to marry ! ❜

❛ thank you for the honour of the invitation. ❜

❛ marriage is a duty, not a pleasure. ❜

❛ a match does not have to start out as love. ❜

❛ love can bloom from the thorniest of gardens, can it not ? ❜

❛ your flower metaphors make me nauseated with their sweetness. ❜

❛ you worry about your own side of the world. ❜

❛ you are no – one ! so why should they want to see you ? ❜

❛ i am sure that it is only because of you & your reputation that they should want to meet with me. ❜

❛ i promise to tell you every single detail upon my return. ❜

❛ you are being purposely obstructive, [ name ], & i will not have it. ❜

❛ you surprise me. i always thought that you were a quiet one. ❜

❛ if you will give me just one evening of your time, allow me to show you where my mind has been, it might not make you forgive me, but it might make you hate me a little bit less. ❜

❛ my world has been made to revolve around me, & it has made me … selfish. ❜

❛ i cannot imagine how painful & cruel it must have been to have me ruin your wedding night. ❜

❛ yet is good. yet is hope. ❜

❛ they see me for who i am. ❜

❛ they understand that the old days are over, & this is a new world. ❜

❛ it has been abundantly clear since my first breath that i was born for the happiness or misery of a great nation, & consequently must often act contrary to my passions. ❜

❛ the crown resides within me, embedded like a knife. ❜

❛ why are you down here ? you do not come below stairs. ❜

❛ [ name ], you have seen nothing. ❜

❛ do not repeat what [ name ] says to anyone outside the family. ❜

❛ it is not my place to question the palace. ❜

❛ i know they have money, but money does not make them us. ❜

❛ [ name ], stop talking this instant ! that is too much … thinking ! ❜

❛ why are you shrieking ? ❜

❛ you could try. look at me ! i am absolutely gorgeous. style yourself. ❜

❛ i do not see why i cannot attend ! ❜

❛ perhaps you should not attend. perhaps you should stay home with me. ❜

❛ our duty will be done, & i will no longer have to view your face. ❜

❛ i would very much like to have the opportunity to no longer hear your voice. ❜

❛ if that is what you say, that is what i must believe. ❜

❛ i would like to throw the first ball of the season. ❜

❛ the first ball of the season ? with you ? no, that will not be accepted. ❜

❛ they dangle joy in front of me, & never let me grasp it. ❜

❛ you are every bit as good as they are. ❜

❛ was this one terribly awful round, [ name / title ] ? ❜

❛ [ name ], we shall need to make preparations. ❜

❛ i fear i must have misheard you, i am … fortunate ? ❜

❛ i ― we ― have received an invitation. ❜

❛ we are not going to their home for any reason ! it is enough that i must see them at court. ❜

❛ i wanted to ask if you could encourage the others to attend. ❜

❛ i do not understand how this relates to me. ❜

❛ why do you not understand that you hold our fates in your hands ? ❜

❛ your palace walls are too high, [ name / title. ] ❜

❛ do not feel sorry for me. i do not know anything else. ❜

❛ i have always been this ― an exhibit, instead of a person. ❜

❛ no – one is going to come, [ name. ] ❜

❛ i do not know if you understand what you have done. ❜

❛ i will not let you fall. ❜

❛ your heart is full. mine starves. ❜

❛ should we have something stronger than tea ? ❜

❛ do not attempt to flatter me by talking about my children, it makes me dislike you more. ❜

❛ i knew you would come ! i knew it. ❜

❛ i confess i still have much to learn about palace procedure. ❜

❛ what is this ? what is happening ? what has happened to [ name ] ? ❜

❛ i did not expect so much company. ❜

❛ i remind you how uninterested i am in the qualities of [ noblewomen / noblemen. ] ❜

❛ every day you fail to produce an heir, our family’s position weakens. ❜

❛ tell me, what would the people prefer, a royal baby, or cheap bread ? ❜

❛ the betrothal contracts are signed. it is done. ❜

❛ are we to believe this malady can be cured with one’s voice ? ❜

❛ you have thousands out there prepared to die at a word from you. ❜

❛ you are to marry in a week. are you fit to marry, [ name ] ? ❜

❛ if your [ bride / groom ] is missing, it is your responsibility to remedy that. ❜

❛ it was uh … premature, all this. i’m not ready, not right. ❜

❛ what is the surprise ? where are you taking me ? ❜

❛ your perfection is matched only by my deformity. ❜

❛ you belong as far from me as you can get. ❜

❛ [ name ], have i not made it clear that i am not to be disturbed under any circumstances ? ❜

❛ a most impressive scientific collection ! i do not know that there is another to match it in [ place. ] ❜

❛ there are a few advantages to being monarch. one of them is, you get the best stuff. ❜

❛ you are a [ king / queen. ] as such, you are used to the obedience of others. you have not learned to obey. ❜

❛ above all, you have never learned to submit ! ❜

❛ if you cannot govern yourself, you are not fit to govern others. ❜

❛ i do not care who your father was, how many titles you have, or if you were god’s own representative on earth ! ❜

❛ in here, you are just another animal in a cage, & just like an animal, i will break you ! ❜

❛ our goal was to restore me to myself ― much more of this, & i will not have a self to return to ! ❜

❛ animal nature is clay. with enough strength, you can mold it. ❜

❛ i’ve spent my whole life longing for time for myself. ❜

❛ i want you to know that we will not be caged forever. ❜

❛ lapdog or wolf, soon enough an animal tires of its cage. don’t you agree, [ name / title ] ? ❜

❛ you would do well to express gratitude. ❜

❛ such a change could have disastrous consequences for your health ! ❜

❛ you grow reckless, & you give free reign to your most capricious urges. ❜

❛ i have lived my entire life in terror of acting incorrectly. ❜

❛ i thought that terror was the price of being royal. ❜

❛ perhaps i failed to speak clearly before. you will never treat me again. ❜

❛ you were nothing. you came from nowhere. now, you sit at the helm of the world. ❜

❛ if i must leave my home, my family, my language, my life, it cannot be for someone i do not know ! someone i was not allowed to know ! ❜

❛ your insolence truly knows no bounds. ❜

❛ you are unhappy with your situation, perched at the pinnacle of power ? ❜

❛ you should not think such things, you should pay mind to the aria. ❜

❛ loneliness is a battle even [ kings / queens ] must fight for themselves. ❜

❛ as many times as i dreamed & imagined & hoped & planned … i never thought what it would actually be like to have them be gone. ❜

❛ i am not receiving visitors. ❜

❛ your safety is most important. i shall not leave you alone for a moment. ❜

❛ you know i could not ― you know that my duty ― i am not able ― ❜

❛ forgive me, it’s just … i haven’t the faintest notion of what you speak. ❜

❛ we could lose it all in a generation. ❜

❛ what you lose, we lose. you set the precedent for us all. ❜

❛ would it be so bad, [ name ], losing the title ? ❜

❛ i am sorry to report that they remain alive & well, [ name / title. ] ❜

❛ come back to me. all will be solved. ❜

❛ there is nothing that can be done. ❜

❛ everything is in danger, & you keep secrets ! ❜

❛ i cannot lie abed any longer, so here i am. ❜

❛ they are noble, they are rich, they are connected, they are perfect ! ❜

❛ in our recent encounters, you have been out of sorts in a way most unlike you. ❜

❛ there is nothing you cannot share with me. ❜

❛ i am becoming dangerous, [ name ] ! ❜

❛ is this all there is to it, then ? ❜

❛ i am quite offended, see, that you did not consult me first. ❜

❛ you shall take me home, now, & you cannot refuse me. ❜

❛ your body is not your own. ❜

❛ to leave the kingdom now would be treason. ❜

❛ they are not hurting you, are they ? ❜

❛ [ name ], our fates are tied. ❜

❛ do you think me free ? ❜

❛ i am on my own, but life is out of reach. ❜

❛ you never even have to see them again, if you do not want. ❜

❛ so, what then, why am i here ? ❜

❛ you give me nothing, you tell me nothing but lies ! ❜

❛ you well know that you are not allowed in here. ❜

❛ you will go back to your quarters ! ❜

❛ what the bloody hell are you doing to them ?! ❜

❛ it was far from nonsense, & i will not forget. ❜

❛ what do any women of the ton know of true friendship ? ❜

❛ it is all social chatter, marital schemes, & gossip. ❜

❛ we are full of gossip & story, but as women, we are never the topic of conversation. ❜

❛ what matters madness when true love flourishes ? ❜

❛ i have never once in all my years considered another [ man / woman. ] ❜

❛ i am sorry you do not know me. i did not know my parents well either. ❜

❛ you come from warriors. we win. never forget that. ❜

❛ no – one should be sad on their birthday. ❜

❛ i’ve never seen anyone so rich ! ❜

❛ that place is no home. ❜

❛ i have left that place, & i am never, never, never going back. ❜

❛ i do not pretend to know what problems await you outside, however i do know that they will not be solved in here. ❜

❛ would you care to tell me what troubles you ? ❜

❛ i have been lied to & betrayed by everyone in this country but you. ❜

❛ this is not the life i wished for. ❜

❛ the men who hold our fates hardly conceive we have desires & dreams of our own. ❜

❛ whatever impertinence, whatever evasion, smother it. ❜

❛ love is a choice one makes. ❜

❛ you take one in marriage, & you choose to love them. you do not give yourself any other option. ❜

❛ marriage is difficult, full of pains. ❜

❛ you love, & you love hard, because if you do not, you are lost. ❜

❛ in time, you will grow to love your noble responsibilities. ❜

❛ these youthful fits will become mere embarrassing memories. ❜

❛ come back to me. please, [ name ], come back. ❜

❛ you must understand, no matter how distressing, my methods are proven. ❜

❛ be grateful i do not order you destroyed. ❜

❛ [ name ], i am contemplating starting anew. ❜

❛ i had a great love. i do not expect another. ❜

❛ you have a right to high standards, [ name. ] ❜

❛ [ name ], this crown is breaking my neck. ❜

❛ a warm meal & a bath must be a balm. you seem more yourself. ❜

❛ i am so sorry. i should have come sooner. ❜

❛ you should not have come. i do not want you here. ❜

❛ you cannot force me away, i will not go. ❜

❛ perhaps you stay away from me because you care for me. ❜

❛ do you love me ? ❜

❛ i am trying to protect you. ❜

❛ i cannot do this. i never wanted to marry. ❜

❛ is it because you do not believe that i could love you ? ❜

❛ i am a danger. in my mind, there are different worlds creeping in. ❜

❛ you do not wish a life with me for yourself. no – one wishes that. ❜

❛ i cannot breathe when you are not near. ❜

❛ my heart calls your name. ❜

❛ i wanted to tell you. i wanted you to know. ❜

❛ this … madness has been my secret my entire life. ❜

❛ what are you doing all the way out here ? ❜

❛ i wish we might see one another again, but i understand how busy you are. ❜

❛ it is your kindness for which i should be showing gratitude. ❜

❛ what is the trouble now ? or is there good news ? ❜

❛ you show none of us regard or compassion. ❜

❛ i want what is best for you. ❜

❛ i have done all i could for you. ❜

❛ great love can make miracles. ❜

❛ well, there are the rumours to consider … ❜

❛ i’m not a person for gossip ! ❜

❛ there is talk that the palace is in jeapordy. ❜

❛ well. you certainly have become comfortable. ❜

❛ how do you not know what i have always understood ? ❜

❛ there is no room for illness or weakness. there is only power. ❜

❛ i have done all i can to ensure this power, & you are undoing it. ❜

❛ how dare you speak to me that way ? ❜

❛ a better life, you could not have asked for. ❜

❛ your silence does not bode well for you. ❜

❛ have you any family ? did you never marry ? ❜

❛ who could i ever find who would be free to spend a lifetime with me ? ❜

❛ i do hope you have found the experience to have been without too much discomfort so far. ❜

❛ it is good to be home. i have missed your company. ❜

❛ tell me, what have i missed while i was away ? ❜

❛ you shall hardly remember it when it’s over. ❜

❛ do you want to marry again ? ❜

❛ i wanted to feel alive. ❜

❛ we are going to need a … quiet place to talk. ❜

❛ i have loved, & been loved, & that is all i will say. ❜

❛ [ name / title ] would like to court me. i said yes. i will marry them. ❜

❛ i can feel you watching me. ❜

❛ perhaps i should surrender & offer them my head. ❜

❛ you are quite strong, & you shall be fine. remember that. ❜

❛ it is a surprise to see you again so soon. you have news ? ❜

❛ how unfortunate that you will not speak freely to me. ❜

❛ we had a very fine arrangement, did we not ? ❜

❛ i do not want to know your burdens, or hear what problems plague your life. nor do i care. ❜

❛ there were no other options, so i endured. ❜

❛ i found a way to control my own fate. ❜

❛ i do not like you. however, you have been an … admirable adversary so far. ❜

❛ you are not allowed to come here & sob. you may not quit. cover your bruises, & endure. ❜

❛ do not lose control of your fate, [ name. ] ❜

❛ all is very, very wrong. ❜

❛ you can leave me. i would understand, & i would let you go. ❜

❛ i cannot give you the future you deserve. ❜

❛ i love you. it is enough. ❜

❛ i am so sorry that i did not give you a choice, that i did not tell you the truth of who i was before we wed. ❜

❛ you are quiet today. ❜

❛ there is something here between us. i feel it, & i believe we could be happy together. ❜

❛ you have lost control. ❜

❛ they are quite handsome, & you would not have to worry about your future. ❜

❛ you would be a [ king / queen ] ! never another moment’s worry when you’re a royal. ❜

❛ keep your eyes on me. do not look at them. there is no – one here but us. ❜

❛ you dislike crowds as much as i do. another way we are a match. ❜

❛ i cannot marry you. i am sorry. ❜

❛ i never want to be married again. ❜

❛ this is a terrible mistake you are making. ❜

❛ perhaps i am making a terrible mistake, but it is mine to make. ❜

❛ shall we dance ? ❜

❛ how dare you step away from your duties ? ❜

❛ someone in your position could find much worse options, could they not ? ❜

❛ what concerns me is what i am going to do with you. ❜

❛ i only didn’t want to place my burdens on top of your own. ❜

❛ finally, someone who will drink with me. ❜

[flowerytale]

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[tudordramasource]

CHARLOTTE HOPE as Queen Katherine of Aragon in THE SPANISH PRINCESS | Season two, episode eight

[realmsdelite]

i'm gonna give rhaenyra a governess and a nurse and a household from around when she was eight months old away from court that was moved to court when viserys became king

[realmsdelite]

@maeikar : they wish now not for the good of the realm, but for the petty satisfaction of control.

the abrupt dig of a pointed white tooth spills salt iron in a dizzying stream to pool in the hollow of her cheek, mixing with the rise of bile in the back of her throat as she swallows it down - with the touch too stiff, measured lowering of her head as the girl's gaze fixes on the sheet spread flat before her ( partially written correspondence to the lord costayne, of three towers - paused, for the moment, at the announcement that prince maekar wished to speak with her )it is an odd sensation, the tightness that seems to grow by the second beneath the princess' skin, as if her bones so laquered in cement had hardened, and further, calcified. she is fixed here, rooted with so many unseen and reaching vines buried into the stones at her feet, and yet her eyes strain - an incessant tugging as if they mean to break free from her skull and flee far ahead of her.

words rise upon her tongue and dissipate, torn from her as the girl's lips part and an inhalation of breath is taken to steady herself. wind replacing wind. nothing he wants to hear. they were proper ones. acceptable ones. attempts to appease and not rile she knew he had little patience for. yet the truth was cold and pitiless, ugly and deafening and the yawning mouth of the neverending abyss that if one were to plummet into they would fall until the gods saw fit to bring an end to time as they knew it. truth was the offering of the pale underbelly for the knife, a vulnerability placed forward knowing full well it would be sharpened and honed, and turned against whoever had dared utter it, a dagger aimed for the spine and buried deep when one's back was turned. a thing with many faces as defining, as deafening, as devastating as the unyielding fist of the divine above. for a brief, terrible moment the girl wants to sob.

she wants to sob until she could at last scream and that anger could burn and burn and burn and not eat her up inside, swallowing up gobbets of flesh as she swallowed it down again. she wished for control, she wished to feel as though she stood above the level of the raging sea and not in it's depths, her head barely breaking the surface enough to breathe. the waters whisper, and they whisper each the same, unanswerable thing. the queen has given him a true heir, and a spare, and even a wife for the heir, and yet still he persists. still he stands staunch behind the claim of his eldest child. and why ? what of the great council of the year one hundred and one? perhaps, if it were the merit of her claim through the lens of the law, she could argue it. she could site it to the letter and offer a defense that could not be countered. but they do not argue the law, they argue the ruling of another king, the very same that had given king viserys his authority to start over his elder, female cousin descended from the elder brother.

her mother the pale prince, queen alicent baelon the brave...that same fate held back by a decision resting upon the shoulders of the man who indeed puts his own claim into contention in this, who had ne'er been fond of conflict. her father, the king, who's favor she must retain above absolutely all, and to who's will she must bend time and again, " i should have relinquished my claim when aegon was born, if not then, surely half a year ago when her grace gave the king a second living son, " amethyst and cornflower eyes raise, cast wine red and pale lavender illuminated as they were by the candle set at the top left corner of the long wooden desk the princess sat behind ( and has sat, behind, she thinks, for at least a few hours. it had not even been dusk when she had sat down ), gaze steady, cool and hard and unblinking, a mask that shows no sign of impending fracture, " i have caused the realm much unneeded strife in my retinence, and as such it will no longer be quite enough for them to see me merely disinherited, " the words are spoken quietly, matter of fact. a straightforwardness that grows flatter as she continues.

" i do not doubt there were a not small sum of them who's main concern in standing in opposition to my claim was the security of the realm, " a rueful little uptilt of the corners of her lips that fades between one heartbeat and the next, " and perhaps if i had indeed been passed over that would have been all it was, and they could have all clung to the notion that it was altruism that led them, and not cowardice. not selfishness, " the pen is laid down with a deliberate slowness, a miniature exertion of control to calm the rapid forward race of her heart. a breath is taken and loosed through the princess' nostrils, it does little to ease the stiffness in her spine. another breath, and on it, she speaks, " if i succeed i will then proven it possible. if i succeed, their sisters, aunts and cousins will become sudden threats to the power assured them at birth. a power, that they - have done naught to earn. ' tis not petty satisfaction, it is cold and cruel, and a monster that many of them are content to pretend does not exist for they believe themselves noble by name, and deed, " and her continued actions had made it impossible to ignore, for in their persistent attempts to seek her disinheritance they saw it, and as long as she continued upon this path they would, always.

" i have made it so they cannot pretend, " words spoken almost delicately, quiet and careful, " it is for that i must needs be brought low before they are satisified. humbled, thoroughly, so no other lady hopes to succeed their father's seat. it is for that, that they are capable of great evil, " she had known the men on her father's council the whole of her life, both in service to the king himself as she bore his cups and when she sat with her father and grandfather in the council of king jaehaerys the counciliator. the girl had known them, knows them now in ways that rhaenyra could not unknow, she knows the sharpness of several pairs of scrutinizing eyes as they cut in her direction when she attempts to speak, and the derision when she mispeaks, when she errs in the repetition of a single thing. but... that had been enough. all save for lord strong, and lord beesbury, though even they watched her critically, gaze filled with a stringency that reiterated there was no room for error.

[realmsdelite]

@dracareesi: how do they express affection when it’s new, uncertain, or budding? ( SEASONAL HEADCANON MEME )

i think there's a lot of internal work that she has to get through first before she ever expresses it at all overtly. it takes her a while to build enough comfort with a person that she settles into the dynamic, and it is something that she has to actively recognize before she decides upon the exact displays of affection she means to express towards a person — because in her mind there needs to be a discernible difference between how she might behave out of politeness and out of the impression that there is a necessity for her to charm, to be as pleasing as possible ( as much as she can be that is accepted by the confines of societal standard without being perceived an advance ) and how she might behave with someone that she feels a genuine affection for.

the necessity of the settling, comes from the fact that she does need to have a level of trust in the other person to be assured that any added closeness that she displays will not be taken the wrong way. it will not be used against her as further proof as to how she is this overly sexual individual who cannot control herself and has no caring for societal propriety or oaths, and would in fact attempt to seduce a kingsguard on the eve of her wedding. like rhaenyra's entirely fabricated reputation that has just been building and building over the years influences everything she does, every move that she makes — it's almost a shying away on instinct from the concept of closeness. every step she takes is made out of partial fear that the other expects her to behave a certain way and might well be uncomfortable in her presence.

more important to her then her own comfort is the comfort of the other party. she needs to know that they feel at ease before she is willing to proceed with any dynamic that she might form that is not strictly political or business dealings. like she is very aware of the station that she occupies, and that while she can be so easily ruined, she could bring about the ruin of another of lesser station then her. an understanding exists, an empathy that would've existed there any way within her, but that is made all the more stronger by the fact she has been on the pointed end of the blade since she was eleven years old. she has felt her fate grasped in the hands of the men around her for her entire life, she has felt as if her security, her livelihood, her position at court hinged on the wills and wishes of the one who is higher then her, since she was eleven years old. she knows the power that she wields over the women and girls of the higher and lower nobility, the men and women of the smallfolk, she knows that while men of a similar station could ruin her, so too could she ruin others.

she's very stringent with making sure there is an understanding of where she believes the dynamic is going and that there is no pressure. that there is no reason to stand on ceremony, that while the titles are important, and will always be there less they both willingly choose to foresake theirs ( which she would never, ever ask ) that she will not wield hers, she will not abuse her position of authority over them if they are serious of wanting to get close to her. she wants that as well, she wants real friends, dynamics based upon genuine fondness and understanding. it is all she wants, more often then not the most she is seeking in regards to forming a connection with another person is the building of an earnest friendship, where politics are not a consistent restraint in them growing close to one another. it's just difficult because she lives at court, she lives at the center of the political in westeros. there's no getting away from it, meaning her position is always there, and always isolating.

even when it comes to her ladies in waiting, who are the closest people to her aside from her own children, their dynamic was build upon the foundations of political advantage and duty to one's family. they may feel like sisters to her, but they were sent to court in the first place to serve her— to further advance their families. they are there, first and foremost to do a job, and to worry about their own families. they are representatives of their families and her actions can impact them and whether or not they fall out of favor with the future king if she fails and if she disappoints her father to the point where he disinherits her, their support of her will not just impact them, it'll impact their familikes and their standing at court and while she talks to them more openly then she talks to anyone beyond her kids, they are her responsibility, and she cannot wholly lean on them, because she needs to take care of them and ensure their futures as well.

there is a distance, in that, that does not go away because it is fundamental to the dynamic. everything that they've built since is upon the back of that single immoveable facet. she is their superior, and she needs to treat that fact with responsibility. she is very serious in her relationships with everyone but her children because she is keenly aware of the fact with anyone else it is difficult for her to have a healthy one. she is so used to the prospect of being used it is the explanation that she reaches for first when someone attempts to get close to her, and it is why she usually approaches prospective dynamics with a degree of weariness. and whenever it is made clear to her that this is not an attempt to use her or to get something from her, she needs to make sure it's clear the opposite way before she proceeds. she wants boundaries set forward, she wants consent to be known, she wants everything to be verbal and clear and out there, before she proceeds. she doesn't want there to be a chance for anything to be unclear.

i think initially she watches, a lot. she makes note of the little things. the way that their expression changes, or how they move when she takes up the space next to them. she takes note of the fruits or cheeses or cakes that they reach for, the wine that they enjoy, the books that they're reading, the amount of rings on their hands. things that she can put forward in conversation. initially rhaenyra will usually persistently make the attempt to engage in consistent conversation about their interests as a display of affection. she will go out of her way to talk to them, to ask them about their day to discuss how they're doing or even pointing out the weather or whatever court function is going to happen that day. she'll save them their favorite food or offer them a glass of their favorite wine. she'll mention that she read the book that she saw them reading and had asked them about.

she will take up space besides someone to display her new affection toward them. she will walk side by side with them, she will claim the seat next to them on the sofa, she will offer to share her personal wheelhouse with them ( with a guard, of course ) she will sit next to them at dinners where she is not expected to claim a certain seat. she will make sure that she at least says hello to them during those occasions before she expected made to take her seat. if they're of an age and her companion is struggling with some aspect of their lessons she will offer to tutor them in the library, to help explain just what it means if they're talking about maths or to help them memorize some aspect of history that they're having difficulty recalling. i feel like she would want to at least offer to take them on syrax but she also realizes just how big of a deal it is to get on a dragon when you're not used to dragons and how scary that might be. she would want to wait a few months before she made the offer.

it takes months to a year before she touches someone in any way, whether it be a hand on a shoulder or patting someone's hand or setting her hand on a someone's arm. she won't dance with them unless they approach her either, because like that is two separate spaces in her mind that she really does not want to intersect if it does not need to.. the ballroom floor is a political space, a space for pageantry and displays of charm meant to appease the court at large and not, her reaching out for companionship. it is not a place for her to dance with someone that she actually wants to dance with less they get the wrong idea and think that she is placing them in the same vein with everyone else and that their dynamic is not special ( she very much does want to dance with them, she would dance every dance with them, but she has a very strong idea in mind that willingly crossing the harsh unyielding force the sharpness and the coldness that is the political and open vulnerability that is the personal is in a way a display of her disregarding the dynamic - which she does not want to do )

[realmsdelite]

@dracareesi liked for a dialogue thing.

“ i wrote to you — though i knew i would not send it, that to be entirely certain that you were not found, that it could not be intercepted, i could not. though i did not where the two of you had gone. i wrote daily, at first. then weekly. i did not believe that i would ever see you again, though, i held onto the prospect as a desperate hope, i knew it that as it all stood, i would not. i told myself that if the gods were so good as to allow it, i would give them to you. but here we stand and the letters remain in lys. "

[realmsdelite]

@freewillds liked for a dialogue thing ( for aerea )

“ they will notice, to be sure, if i am gone longer then a moment — no doubt there shall be questioned asked, and answers posed in kind as to the exact reason of my leaving. i am certain all but the truth shall be reached for, and if it is a similar shape, they will reach far further then what is necessary. even so, it is a problem for the morrow. my concern at present, is you. you had sworn to your attendance and then did not show this evening. 'tis more then alright if your mind had changed, but if you are feeling in any way out of sorts, if you are ill, i would know. "

[realmsdelite]

INBOX CALL

[realmsdelite]

MY PLAN FOR HERE FOR TODAY:

clear out memes in my inbox from further back in time then november of 2025.

post an inbox call.

write a few more of those one liner starters.

and get at least one interaction ask done and one headcanon ask done.

[realmsdelite]

dialogue specific starter call to get my rhaenyra brain loose.