OF A WOLF.

|| Éponine Thénardier ||

[realxsms]

Bitch I’m back and better than ever 👏

@cynicxsms @apollo-fasting

[cynicxsms]

I NEED HELP

So – here’s the thing, I desperately need help. I hate to do this, but until I get called back by ONE of my multiple job applications, my finances have run dry. Here’s the thing: I recently got up and moved states to move in with my fiance while she finishes up what classes she can on this campus.  Currently, we’re both unemployed, beyond her small business. We’re living off her parents, her grandparents, and my mom’s generosity to pay for food and gas money for people who give us rides. I’m babysitting all this week, we spent a week deep cleaning a house for 100 bucks that had to go towards interview clothes and school clothes for her. My mom has sent us money, which went to bath stuff and general hygiene necessities, and sent us pizza, but $100 dollars doesn’t go far anymore, and she’s outright asked me not to ask her for money unless it’s an absolute emergency. And here’s the FUN part – I have been in the emergency room TWICE in the past month, which means that I owe the hospital approximately $500 worth of medical expenses, despite having my father’s insurance. Both times were absolutely necessary, unfortunately, but I’m already behind on my bills – I was supposed to pay off the first $100 last week. Furthermore, because I haven’t been to see a doctor since last year at least, and a psychiatrist since early May, I am off all my medication – i have ONE inhaler left, and am currently off my birth control, and my antidepressant, as well as being completely out of epi-pens. So here’s my thought: I’ve recently opened a paypal.me which allows people to donate any amount of money which would then be transferred into my account and put towards medical expenses and other necessities, as well as paying off some of my college loans and hopefully getting our car fixed so that we can move BACK to Maine in late December. Here’s where you come in: If you can help at all – $5, $10, any amount helps, or even just passing this around and helping more people see it, it would be absolutely amazing and I would be SO grateful. PLUS, I’m willing to do art commissions as a reward for donating, no matter how much or how little you donate. I do mono- and duo-tone coloured sketches, and am willing to send them or post them for whoever donates – just send me an ask and let me know your name and what you’ve donated so that I can confirm, and I’ll ask you what character/actor etc you would like a portrait off – I’ll also do family portraits if you want it as a gift for a friend or family member, but that will require you emailing me or sending me references on skype. A couple examples of my art would be:

( glinda and elphaba from WICKED ) Sizes might depend on the donation, but I have two different sized sketch books to use. I’ve been trying to open commissions for quite a while with no takers, so this is my plea for help. My paypal is https://www.paypal.me/SarahLister – which is connected to my birth name because it is connected to my debit card. PLEASE do not use that name when contacting me. Thank you, for reading this, for helping, however you can. Hopefully my job applications will go through soon and I’ll be able to pay shit off and see a real doctor soon.

– Rion ( cynicxsms )

[cynicxsms]

I NEED HELP

So – here’s the thing, I desperately need help. I hate to do this, but until I get called back by ONE of my multiple job applications, my finances have run dry. Here’s the thing: I recently got up and moved states to move in with my fiance while she finishes up what classes she can on this campus.  Currently, we’re both unemployed, beyond her small business. We’re living off her parents, her grandparents, and my mom’s generosity to pay for food and gas money for people who give us rides. I’m babysitting all this week, we spent a week deep cleaning a house for 100 bucks that had to go towards interview clothes and school clothes for her. My mom has sent us money, which went to bath stuff and general hygiene necessities, and sent us pizza, but $100 dollars doesn’t go far anymore, and she’s outright asked me not to ask her for money unless it’s an absolute emergency. And here’s the FUN part – I have been in the emergency room TWICE in the past month, which means that I owe the hospital approximately $500 worth of medical expenses, despite having my father’s insurance. Both times were absolutely necessary, unfortunately, but I’m already behind on my bills – I was supposed to pay off the first $100 last week. Furthermore, because I haven’t been to see a doctor since last year at least, and a psychiatrist since early May, I am off all my medication – i have ONE inhaler left, and am currently off my birth control, and my antidepressant, as well as being completely out of epi-pens. So here’s my thought: I’ve recently opened a paypal.me which allows people to donate any amount of money which would then be transferred into my account and put towards medical expenses and other necessities, as well as paying off some of my college loans and hopefully getting our car fixed so that we can move BACK to Maine in late December. Here’s where you come in: If you can help at all – $5, $10, any amount helps, or even just passing this around and helping more people see it, it would be absolutely amazing and I would be SO grateful. PLUS, I’m willing to do art commissions as a reward for donating, no matter how much or how little you donate. I do mono- and duo-tone coloured sketches, and am willing to send them or post them for whoever donates – just send me an ask and let me know your name and what you’ve donated so that I can confirm, and I’ll ask you what character/actor etc you would like a portrait off – I’ll also do family portraits if you want it as a gift for a friend or family member, but that will require you emailing me or sending me references on skype. A couple examples of my art would be:

( glinda and elphaba from WICKED ) Sizes might depend on the donation, but I have two different sized sketch books to use. I’ve been trying to open commissions for quite a while with no takers, so this is my plea for help. My paypal is https://www.paypal.me/SarahLister – which is connected to my birth name because it is connected to my debit card. PLEASE do not use that name when contacting me. Thank you, for reading this, for helping, however you can. Hopefully my job applications will go through soon and I’ll be able to pay shit off and see a real doctor soon.

– Rion ( cynicxsms )

[cynicxsms]

I NEED HELP

So – here’s the thing, I desperately need help. I hate to do this, but until I get called back by ONE of my multiple job applications, my finances have run dry. Here’s the thing: I recently got up and moved states to move in with my fiance while she finishes up what classes she can on this campus.  Currently, we’re both unemployed, beyond her small business. We’re living off her parents, her grandparents, and my mom’s generosity to pay for food and gas money for people who give us rides. I’m babysitting all this week, we spent a week deep cleaning a house for 100 bucks that had to go towards interview clothes and school clothes for her. My mom has sent us money, which went to bath stuff and general hygiene necessities, and sent us pizza, but $100 dollars doesn’t go far anymore, and she’s outright asked me not to ask her for money unless it’s an absolute emergency. And here’s the FUN part – I have been in the emergency room TWICE in the past month, which means that I owe the hospital approximately $500 worth of medical expenses, despite having my father’s insurance. Both times were absolutely necessary, unfortunately, but I’m already behind on my bills – I was supposed to pay off the first $100 last week. Furthermore, because I haven’t been to see a doctor since last year at least, and a psychiatrist since early May, I am off all my medication – i have ONE inhaler left, and am currently off my birth control, and my antidepressant, as well as being completely out of epi-pens. So here’s my thought: I’ve recently opened a paypal.me which allows people to donate any amount of money which would then be transferred into my account and put towards medical expenses and other necessities, as well as paying off some of my college loans and hopefully getting our car fixed so that we can move BACK to Maine in late December. Here’s where you come in: If you can help at all – $5, $10, any amount helps, or even just passing this around and helping more people see it, it would be absolutely amazing and I would be SO grateful. PLUS, I’m willing to do art commissions as a reward for donating, no matter how much or how little you donate. I do mono- and duo-tone coloured sketches, and am willing to send them or post them for whoever donates – just send me an ask and let me know your name and what you’ve donated so that I can confirm, and I’ll ask you what character/actor etc you would like a portrait off – I’ll also do family portraits if you want it as a gift for a friend or family member, but that will require you emailing me or sending me references on skype. A couple examples of my art would be:

( glinda and elphaba from WICKED ) Sizes might depend on the donation, but I have two different sized sketch books to use. I’ve been trying to open commissions for quite a while with no takers, so this is my plea for help. My paypal is https://www.paypal.me/SarahLister – which is connected to my birth name because it is connected to my debit card. PLEASE do not use that name when contacting me. Thank you, for reading this, for helping, however you can. Hopefully my job applications will go through soon and I’ll be able to pay shit off and see a real doctor soon.

– Rion ( cynicxsms )

[realxsms]

{ R }

“A little of both, I think.” There’d been good and bad times, running with Montparnasse, and though the bad times mostly revolved around the man’s other squad, they still left a bitter taste in Grantaire’s mouth, leaving him longing for something much stronger than the beer that was in his hand. Eponine’s fingers in his hair help, grounding him, bringing him back to the present, and the old, paint stained couch they sat on. With almost a purr, he pressed his head into her hand, and closed his eyes, taking a shaky sip of a liquid that didn’t burn nearly enough going down. “He’s reached for us before, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s willing to make a change,” he added, voice quiet – he hated to admit it, but they were better off, just the two of them, no matter how much he cared.

 Eponine moved herself closer,Resting her arm about his shoulders without removing her hand. She hummed in agreement, feeling the same aches that R did. Their past was better learned from than relived.  

   “ Too bad we got a little addicted to him too.” She spoke quietly, resting her head against R’s shoulder as she carded her fingers through his hair. 

 “ They may name a new planet after Proserpina.” 'Ponine said with a smile in her voice, changing the subject for both their sakes.

[realxsms]

{@cynicxsms }

Grantaire shrugged, his free hand coming down to cup Eponine’s calf, as easy as breathing – with anyone else, the intimacy would have been awkward, but they’d been each other’s better half since they were children, and it’s an odd moment when they’re not touching. “It’s not like that – if that’s what you’re wondering.” They’d been mixed up in some shit, they both had, but he’d stopped the moment she’d wanted out – and hadn’t looked back. “He was loitering outside the shop, I ran into him when my shift was done. I haven’t seen him in – forever.”

Eponine shook her head faintly, her curls bouncing softly as she did. “ No, I know— I didn’t think that. I thought—it might be on purpose... Remember how he used to make me cigarettes? before~?” She made a gesture with her hands that only R would understand as a reference to what had lead up to their exit. “and he’d lace them with lavender to help my anxiety..I found some on the window sill this morning. This little pack of ten, all wrapped up in fine paper and silk ribbon.” ‘Ponine chewed her lip. Memories of Montparnasse were like bullet casings; you knew what had lived there before and how it must have left, but in the aftermath with the light of nostalgia hitting them they glittered and were pretty. “He’s like a fucking Dickens character.” She said with a tainted fancy. Eponine reached a little with her resting arm and twined her fingers through R’s hair lovingly. He was the only person she would talk like this with, let down certain acts around. After a pause, she asked “ ‘think he’s reaching for us? or just filled with ennui?” 

[cynicxsms]

{ @realxsms }

“Mont was asking about you, y’know.” Dropping onto the couch next to his roommate, Grantaire took a sip of his beer, the words casual – as if there wasn’t a question behind it. He’d run into the man leaving work. “When was the last time you guys were even in the same room together, let alone talking?” 

[realxsms]

cynicxsms

{ @realxsms }

“Mont was asking about you, y’know.” Dropping onto the couch next to his roommate, Grantaire took a sip of his beer, the words casual – as if there wasn’t a question behind it. He’d run into the man leaving work. “When was the last time you guys were even in the same room together, let alone talking?” 

realxsms

[ @cynicxsms​ ]

  Eponine glanced up, laying aside the book she’d been lost in—a new copy of an old play, which ‘Ferre had given her to read. 

 “Yeah?.. how’d you run into Mont?” She shifted, placing her legs over R's lap so they were steepled there just slightly, slipping into their usual intimacy with ease. With her back resting against the pillows and her arm across the back of the couch, she waited for him to answer her question before she answered. There was a chance she was stalling “ Last time I saw him he was sauntering away from the fire-escape. Haven’t talked to him in…fuckin’ ages.” Ep hadn’t thought about it properly until now, and it showed.

[realxsms]

@gaminbecomeassassin

“And do you mean to say I’m not such a mystery?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Not s’much as you like to think.” She answered, amused. “Or in all the grand romantic ways you do. ” 

      “You’re still a mystery, a pretty mystery, but it’s a little different.” 

[realxsms]

@gaminbecomeassassin

“You didn’t expect a straight answer from me, did you?” Montparnasse grinned at her. “It’s better not to ask.”

A small smile broke out and she gave a short laugh. “You think you’re such a mystery, it’s almost funny.” 

[realxsms]

Éponine stood half shadowed in the entrance of an ally, looking as she usually did, though perhaps somewhat rain soaked. “What’re you doing so far out of your usual lurk?” Her voice held a vaguely playful quality, though shrouded and loaded like a gun.

[cynicxsms]

"You're my person."

         “–likewise.”    The feeling is mutual, of course, and he grins, just the slightest, almost shy smile, before slinging an arm around her shoulders and dropping a warm kiss to her hair. They’ve belonged, in part, to each other, since they met as children, and there’s part of them that will always belong to each other, no matter what.           “I love you.”

[realxsms]

         Éponine smiled gently, leaning into him as she wrapped her own arm around his waist, pressing against his chest. She adored him in many and the truest of ways. “I love you too, ‘Bastian.” R was as much a part of her as her own heart (which, in some ways, he also was). He was home. “ ‘End of the line’ and every other movie quote.”  She grumbled (though smiling) with a trademarked falsely reluctant, saccharine sentimentality. 

[asgxntle]

"Why are you so fascinated by him?"

     “You don’t find him fascinating?” Admittedly, Combeferre found most things fascinating, he loved learning, and history and philosophy were part of that. “I mean, I’m not necessarily an existentialist, but Sartre had a way of writing. Nietzsche too. I don’t necessarily agree, but the writing is fascinating to read – you don’t agree?”

[realxsms]

@asgxntle

       “–Oh.” His face heated up, and he blinked at her, a bit confused; he never thought of himself as adorable, even when enthusiastic about something. Her touch was soft and kiss gentle, though, and it wiped away his confusion, filling it with an embarrassed happiness – he adored her. Catching her hand, he gave it a little squeeze, letting go as she turned away. “I guess I get about – excited, about things that interest me. I’m glad it doesn’t annoy you.” He accepted the book with a grateful smile, knowing that she picked it out especially for him, a part of her that she was giving to him, something that was important to her; it would be important to him, too, something he would treasure. In return, he pulled out the Sartre book that he’d just finished, placing the story book in his bag instead. “Here, I just finished The Flies, and I think you’ll find it really interesting.”

She smiled again as he subtly stumbled over his words. “Ferre, the only time you annoy me is when you make me realize that I’m wrong about something after I’ve been arguing about it for twenty minutes.”  Eponine took a book off the shelf and a pen out of her pocket, pull the cap off with her teeth as she turned to a specific page, and on her hand wrote down a specific line. “Even then it doesn’t last long.”  Her smile turned to him, pen cap still between secure in it. Once she realized, she quickly recapped it. “ Thank you..” Eponine loved it when he showed her new books and thoughts. She reached out and took the book gladly, her fingers lingering against his for a moment. “ Is this going to be one of those books that I finish and then call you about at three in the morning?”

[realxsms]

@cynicxsms

“Flattery gets you no where, my friend.” Still, it brought a smile too his face, as he began blocking out that final, large image. He’d have to do Combeferre’s portion without any reference, since the man wasn’t likely to be able to flow through poses like Eponine, and since he had no excuse to ask him to sit down and pose for him, but that was alright. He’d just base them off of the counteractions to Eponine’s. “How’d he like it, so far,” he asked, glancing up with a small smile.

“He's an escapist like his sister, so he fell in love with it.” Eponine smiled fondly, with great love both for her brother and the story.  Eponine was noticeably attached to the concept of The Neverending Story, and for a short time as a girl had made a quest of finding the book—whether she had truly believed she would find it was still up in the air.  Imagination had always been her kingdom, which she ruled with conviction. “Once he realized where I got ‘Bastian from he groaned for an hour.”  

[opensore]

can’t believe all irish people were born today wow happy birthday

[realxsms]

Fears

Bold any fears which apply to your muse

Italicise what makes them uncomfortable

Tagged by: @cynicxsms​

the dark. fire. open water. deep water. being alone. crowded spaces. confined spaces. change.failure. war. loss of control. powerlessness. prison. blood. drowning. suffocation. public speaking. natural animals. the supernatural. heights. death. dying. intimacy. rejection.abandonment. loss.the unknown. the future. not being good enough. scary stories. speaking to new people. poverty *. loud noises. being touched. sex. 

* There’s some complexities here with her feelings. 

Some of these depend on context/meaning. If anyone is curious I’d be more that happy to expand on them if you shoot me an ask! 

Tag 10 people: uhm…Anyone who wants to? 

[oscarisaacdaily]

Oscar Isaac, 2015

[bled]