reborn ||29|| he/him or they/them || bisexual || AFAB non-binary/trans-man || secretly an elf || i post about whatever interests me || multifandom but mostly LOTR/SIlmarillion focused || murder elf fan
Modus Operandi: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70149861/chapters/182137191
https://www.tumblr.com/rebornflameofthenoldor/793444286457856000/modus-operandi?source=share
Annatar is pleased with the progress Celebrimor, the great elf-smith, is making on the Rings of Power. However, Annatar is secretly testing a new method of control over the Gwaith-i-Mirdain and Celebrimbor.
Coin of Eregion: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74192551
Annatar asks Celebrimbor about an old coin.
Poor Little Maia: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74255871
Tyelperinquar Curufinwion is tasked with reclaiming the lost tower of Tol Sirion, now Tol-in-Gaurhoth, from the hands of Morgoth's lieutenant, Sauron, and meets a potential new ally.
Hail the Flame Imperishable: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74271101
Tyelperinquar embarks on his coming-of-age ritual.
Rings of Power
A Quiet Walk: https://archiveofourown.org/works/76638746
Elrond and Durin IV take a nice walk in the woods and talk about life.
You, the newest elf-smith chosen to be a member of the honorable Gwaith-i-Mirdain, are entranced by the voice of the newest visitor to Ost-in-Edhil, Lord Annatar.
Your Betrayal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/76690861
Celebrimbor discovers Annatar's true identity and punishes him for lying.
Pride Goeth Before a Fall: https://archiveofourown.org/works/82106096
Celebrimbor is haunted by strange visions of the past and future, and Annatar wishes to help heal him.
here is another update of my wip of my vestige, tyelkormo turcafinwĂ«. tbh i wanted to remake tolkien elves into altmer since i started accidentally giving my tolkien elves altmer features subconsciously. tyelko is not a normal altmer as far as the dominion's expectations are concerned. he worships both dibella and mara but he also worships hircine and hermaeus mora. his best friend and cousin ĂrissĂ« are considered iconoclasts by altmer traditionalists for their worship of hircine. hircine is my narrative stand in for oromĂ«.
when tyelkormo goes live on the eso eu server he will be an arcanist with the herald of the tome skill line and a nightblade with the siphoning skill line. his birth sign is the thief. i rp this tyelko as gay so his relationship with ĂrissĂ« is platonic and not romantic. tyelko used to have a winterhold wolfhound named huan but his breton ex-boyfriend dior eluchĂl took the dog in their break up so tyelko will be looking for a new winterhold wolfhound to name huan đ tyelko has a thing for dunmer men, sooo he will be looking for a partner, hint hint
for my totally not disastrous au where the tolkien elves are all altmer, fëanor takes all his anger out from the valar onto the aldmeri dominion instead. in this au he created tengwar as an equivalent of "high aldmeri" because he considers the dominion's high elvish to be a pidgin tongue compared to the copy and paste of quenya that fëanor calls "high aldmeri". my vestige, tyelkormo turcafinwë is going to use a lot of quenya in my rp on eso. my vestige is such a "not like other altmer" that he joins the ebonheart pact bc he refuses to help ayrenn.
I know this is an unpopular opinion, but my favorite way to interpret Elves in the Silmarillion is to see them as wise, talented, swift, clever, fair (in both the sense of 'attractive' and in the sense of 'equitable') and often good -- but that they also have Extremely Large Problems that make things Very Challenging.
I don't want to see them as vicious idiots.
Now I think about it, this is probably my favorite way to see humanity, too. Which can be very difficult. :-/
you know, out of literally everything insane about sauron one thing that truly never fails to just floor me about him is how little was known of him until the creation of the ring.
Of course, as readers of the Silmarillion we all know how pivotal of a figure he will eventually be, and are presented with all of these isolated incidents of his existence in the Silmarillion and histories as clearly marked narrative events. We know that Thu is Sauron, that Mairon is Sauron, that the Necromancer and Annatar and Zigur are all different names and faces for the same perceptive bit of fire. But those that experience those thousands and thousands of years of history, they don't. Sauron was not just not a household name, he as a concept did not exist. The people of first age Beleriand knew of ten dozen insidious servants of Morgoth, spirits of malice, influences on their lives. They knew of the terrible sorcerer who terrorized the lands with his vicious wolves. They knew of the dread regent who once kept rule in Angband as it rotted beneath the ground, waiting for Melkor to return. They know of the fiery soldier they saw in the battle under stars, decimating their troops before they had barely set foot on mortal soil. They knew of the trickster spirit who took the forms of their dead loved ones, played out the facade for far longer than necessary to extract any amount of ransom. They knew, vaguely, of an old tale of Aule's greatest Maia, gone wayward and disappeared with the Dark Lord. Some escaping Angband might know of a certain beautiful man who attends the lord's side, lithe and lovely, or a torturer of Maedhros, purveyor of many cruel experiments. But rarely, if ever, were even two of these faces correlated. There were many forms of evil, to them, and only so many of these small evils could possibly survive after his death.
To learn, for the elves when he finally put that damn ring on for the first time, that not only have you been fooled once, that your lovely Annatar was a servant of Morgoth, but that he was all of them.
All this time, after thousands of years, it was a one man play, and the name beneath every single role was the same ungodly dedicated freak of a man, and you are all FUCKED IN THE ASS.
Hi, I liked the post you reblogged about fandom interactions that make you feel lonely and alienated, and then I was like, hey, what if I did the opposite of that actually and tried being social? Iâm kokiri85 in other places, but I abandoned that tumblr account in 2019 out of burnout for exactly the reason mentioned. Iâve recently taken to lurking tumblr again in a new secret identity but I have no idea how or if I even want to interact anymore, with how lonely and alienating itâs gotten out here. I was so happy on livejournal, back in the day, and everything since then has been just getting worse and worse and worseâŠ. I am old. Old as balls? I wasnât even a Tolkien person yet when I last posted here, I finally read the books in 2020.
Anyway, as one fanartist to another, your work is gorgeous and Iâm not going to ask you for anything, just thank you for sharing even though I know exactly how unrewarding it can feel.
Thank you, this is very kind!
Re: fandom feeling a bit alienating or paranoia-inducing, I think for me it was v much like, a bunch of my shitposts (one in particular đ„Č) did huge numbers say like, 2 weeks after I joined this site at the end of 2024 with literally no fandom community experience behind me aside from a handful of fics (and I literally only made the account because someone asked on Ao3 if I could post a sort of âreading listâ of texts I mentioned in an old fic đđ) and I got a massive follower influx across a fortnight and then more across the next few months, so it was a baptism of fire in many ways⊠anyway I often get a lot of like âidk why people are like ___ to youâ when honestly I think itâs not a particularly inexplicable phenomenon and very easily explainedâŠ
Where that overnight move from not being on any fandom spaces at all to having a few thousand followers in a few weeks, and climbing, meant I was pretty much finding my feet and starting to properly engage with the text but also trying to figure out how Tumblr fandom worked, what this site is actually used for, etc etc, definitely making missteps along the way eg I spent 2 months straight treating this like Instagram, all from a place of scrutiny if that makes sense sksks. Essentially, being read and assessed as a âBNFâ from Day 1 whilst in fact being a complete newbie to any internet culture, let alone fandom, beyond like⊠a stint on Indian politics twitter years ago. Wherein I had an UNO reverse fandom experience where I was first viewed through the image people had of me or projected onto me before ever actually encountering me directly.
And that meant that itâs kind of hell in both directions because on one hand you have people expecting you to broadly agree with fanon approaches, because thatâs the general image they have of someone with a wider fandom following, except I actually outright disagree with a lot of fanon, especially some of the most popular ones, and make that very clear⊠and ofc people get really mad when they find out about said disagreement, act like the Pope (me) has outlawed fluffy kidnap fam or whatever.
On the other hand you also have the really snooty takes oddly common in the Silm fandom, where itâs very much like âah yes, anything The General Fanâąïž reads is slop, and thus if you have more than X likes, your writing is just mainstream Hollywood trashâ where people who are drawn by my writing and then come across me here, are at times immediately dismissive of the writing that drew them in the first place, because If So Many People Like The Author Then The Writing Must Be Shit, even though a good portion of my following here isnât due to my writing but because of the art and shitposting. Or that acting the fool on the internet is somehow not conducive to Producing Great Literature hence I am now somehow intellectually beneath them etc etc.
It creates a very weird brand of imposter syndrome where Iâm aware enough of my own intellectual credentials (flawed as such metrics are etc etc) to not suffer total ego collapse, yet am averse to bringing up said credentials on here much because I had done so a few times when I first started out and, I assume because of the source text authorâs own stake in that ground, there was just too much of a laudatory attitude towards it for my comfort, yet equally you cannot help but think that your writing IS only read because of âsocial media marketingâ and has no literary substance, even as you know it to be untrue.
(My writing also isnât as popular as implied: it gets good levels of engagement because obv I post it here as well, and my writing is quite dense so people leave comments etc, but nothing too crazy plus the levels of engagement are very much contingent on the theme and topic and characters correlating with fandom preferences⊠Prayers is an outlier for the kind of AU it is, ie swerving away from both fanfic convention + fandom characterisation, but I talk so much about it here that you pretty much canât avoid it if you follow me đbut I am not exactly Cassandra Clare ygm)
And speaking of Cassie, most people here have good reason to be wary of specifically fic writers using their fandom audience as launchpads for their irl writing career and again reflexively project that assumption onto me, which is so funny because believe me, using âBalrogBallsâ to promote my irl anything is the last thing I will ever do, and because one of said initial viral posts was literally about being agented etc like gang believe me the only financial gain I will ever make on this site is people buying my art đ.
And obviously the third and probably most undersaid element is the racialisation, where I am a clearly nonwhite fan writing explicitly about race in Tolkien beyond just brown elves etc, so the whole âmust be twice as good to be seen as half as worthyâ thing applies here. And because I sometimes post pics of myself, it often also comes out as unwanted sexualisation⊠recent example, I literally got this message yesterday an hour or so after I posted this collage of perfectly innocuous holiday snap style pictures, none of them âthirst trappyâ, posted only as a jokey âlmao look I only know one poseâ + explaining what I meant by the Elrond referenceâŠ
like WHY would you comment on a complete strangerâs body in such an insane way!!! You can say my nipples look juicy and my rectum delectable if weâre friends and talk but having it from veritable strangers is forever tiring and I can never understand why the response often is just âdonât post pics thenâ.
Anyway ya re: paranoia, being viewed as some sort of âinfluencerâ from Day 1 obviously means people talk about you elsewhere etc, and obviously I am fine with that. I bitch about shit like that all the time. I am a hater to the core. However, the UNO reverse thing where people know me based on assumption âââ> actually interact with me and realise Iâm not exactly Kendall Jenner trying to launch her litfic career, means I have had several people tell me to my face that their servers or what not fucking hated me (for WHAT? đ saying Maglor wouldnât change a diaper? đ) and would bitch about me / dissect my posts even when they were nice to my face âbut I gave you a chance and you donât suckâ.
And like man I am not exactly âgratefulâ for the âchance, but I sometimes do wish I didnât engage as much with the fandom as I do because while I am totally cool with people assuming whatever about me based on posts made 2 months into the fandom or my follower count or the image I give off or kudos ratio or whatever insane metric, I donât want to KNOW about it ig? Donât tell me! I do not expect to be universally liked, and I am definitely a hit or miss, but donât tell me! Because frankly so many people telling me this means I am constantly on my guard/assuming people are just bitching behind my back even when theyâre actively trying to make friends, which again is just an unpleasant experience of engagement.
And imo overall pretty unfair assumption because while I do have a Personality Blog and post my own art/fics, I also participate in tons of exchanges and chat directly with people all the time or yap on servers etc. Like I am not exactly using clout to dictate fanon or whatever, I am just hopping around in the fandom like anyone else, and my views would generally not be seen as particularly âcontroversialâ in any space aside from this one.
Anyway I am SOOO sorry for derailing your ask and going off on a whole tangent, but it has very much helped me figure out why exactly I feel that sense of alienation and also open the floodgates re âyour inbox is such an anomalyâ when in fact it makes perfect sense, so thank you doubly for it! đ„čđ
Great post, to add onto what you're saying, personally I started feeling a lot better about fandom when I took a step back from servers and decided to focus more on myself instead of constantly talking/gossiping about fandom and worrying about what people who wouldn't give a fuck if I live or die or whose lives I had no impact on, thought of me.
Sometimes you need to establish those boundaries with yourself and fandom, and it's really hard to come to terms with sometimes, because everyone wants to be engaging and having fun. But when fandom stops becoming fun, that's when something needs to change.
Being alienated in fandom sucks, and it sucks even more when you post about stuff that isn't "popular" or done in the way the fandom prefers, as well as when people make unkind assumptions about you.
Bit obscure, but hereâs some Silmarillion art. Been reading it again and the image of OromĂ« has really stayed with me.
âAnd OromĂ« tamer of beasts would ride too at whiles at the darkness of the forests⊠and his white horse Nahar shone like silver in the shadows. ⊠But even as OromĂ« passed the servants of Melkor would gather again; and the lands were filled with shadows and deceit.âÂ
