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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@reckless-drabbles
[In the visitors room]
[He leans his head on hers gently] Because I’m dead, Natalie. I’m not going to age. We can’t… Get married, if you ever wanted that, or have kids, or get out of this goddamn place. And you deserve someone much better than me.
You're focusing on the future. Try thinking about just now. You make me very happy, those elements in life can be manipulated. All I know for now, it I like being with you and I miss you.
[In the visitors room]
I… I want you to be happy. Because I love you, Natalie. You’ve broken something inside me, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. It’s like you’re slowly undoing me, like… Like this entire time I’ve just been a huge knot and I had no idea. You’ve made me a better person. You’ve made me regret, you’ve made me… And I lied to you because I’m selfish. Because I don’t want to let go of you. But I want you to be happy, and I don’t care if you never visit, I don’t care if you never call, I don’t care if all you do is send a one worded letter once a year… As long as I know you’re happy. And you can’t be happy with me.
Okay. [she heaves out a long sigh before leaning her head on his shoulder] Why do you say I can't be happy with you?
[In the visitors room]
While I do appreciate the gesture, I'd rather hear you say what you're trying to convey, Hol. Please try to see it from my perspective. I'm really sorry I found out this way, but it's not all my fault. What is my fault is not seeing you for three months or doing anything. I wrote you letters, though. I never sent them...
Out With The New, In With The Old || Natalie&Max || Foster Family AU
Max jumped slightly as the man greeted them, trying to return their smiles but failing miserably. Instead, he decided to close in on himself, trying to avoid their eyes, his own glancing around the inside of the house for any sign of what the family was like. His eyes quickly skimmed over the people populating the entrance hall, two adults, two teenagers. He took in a deep breath, so it couldn’t be too bad, right? If they were already fostering. They were fed, clothed, and had a nice roof over their heads. He could live with this. He could deal with this. He hesitantly shook their hands, not looking directly at them as he did so. They were all firm, confident handshakes that made him want to run and hide, except the girl’s. Natalie, she said her name was. He merely nodded in response, still not finding his voice.
He tried to reassure himself throughout the paperwork, not really concentrating, and just nodding timidly whenever Ann asked him a question. A part of him wanted to take the papers and tear them apart, burn them, throw them out the window, do whatever he could to stop this from becoming final, but the other part of him willed him to stay quiet, and stay still. Stiff in his seat as he waited for the process to be over. Half an hour to an hour, he wasn’t sure which, later, they finished up.
He just kind of half-shrugged at the idea of being shown around, he didn’t particularly want to be away from Ann just yet. It wasn’t that he necessarily trusted her, or even liked her. But he was aware that it was her job to keep him safe, which, at the very least, made him feel slightly better around her than others. But nevertheless, he was taken away to explore the house with his two new foster siblings, the eldest leading the way. He looked around the house as they walked through it, his head practically doing a 360 as he tried to take in every detail, every hint of who they were. It wasn’t until he heard Natalie’s voice that he looked at her. His stomach dropped as he listened to her words, suddenly feeling very ill. He watched her as she caught up with the other boy, stumbling over his own feet with his sudden increase of anxiety. “Sorry,” he mumbled as he regained his balance. He didn’t understand what she meant, was she messing with him? Trying to get some kind of reaction out of him? He wasn’t used to people, he didn’t know social cues, Even if she was being serious, there was no way they were worse than his step-mom. That wasn’t possible.
Natalie continued to walk with Logan, occasionally throwing a glance over her shoulder at the meek boy behind her. She shook her head to the side, focusing on the ground. Her heart went out to him right away - no one deserved to be treated as she was, every child should be treated like gold. Logan turned around and grabbed Natalie, stopping her from walking, "You show him around, brat. I got better things to do." Natalie nodded, "Of course." she said, sarcasm present in her tone. Shyly smiling up at the new boy, she gestured for him to follow her through the corridors of the house. Walking to the door she knew well, Natalie went down the stairs and turned on the light to the basement. A small mattress was there, an air bed next to it now. "This is our room," she told him, not too sure what else to say.
"I uhm, I could...how do you say, lend a hand," she struggled a bit with English, and her french accent came through heavily at this point in her life, especially when she was nervous or upset. "Lend a hand with your bags and belongings if you have brought any. I promise they are not that bad." she quickly started, "You just have to do what they say. If and when inspectors actually come, you better smile. Put on a show. It's all a show. Let them think they have control over you, and they will be content." she blurted all her ramblings out, wanting to let the boy know what was coming to him, but at the same time not trying to frighten him.
Hearing Logan's footsteps down the stairs, she dropped the smile off of her face and chewed on her lip, looking down as he entered the basement. She waited for him to make a move or say something, trying to eye Max and let him know not to utter a single word. "Upstairs, bitches. That fat ass official lady is leaving now." Natalie nodded, quickly following Logan, hoping Max would do the same. She swallowed thickly before putting a grin on her face, saying good bye to the lady. As the door was shut and her car turned a corner, Natalie felt her stomach drop. Whispers filled her mind, more so like a buzzing. She suppressed a shudder before her foster parents barked at them to go to their room and not to come out or make any noise. Obeying, she motioned for Max to follow. Once downstairs, she let out a heavy breath. "Again, I'm Natalie," she said smiling slightly, "I've been here for a long time. I'd say welcome, but that would give this place justice."
[In the visitors room]
[He takes the cigarette, taking a long drag before sitting down next to Natalie. He thinks for a few moments, before he starts to write again. He hesitates as he hands it to her, looking away as soon as it was out of his hand] I don’t think I’m a Psychopath
[she has a drag of her own, holding the smoke in for a long moment before reading the note] It just makes me question whether or not everything was real, and if anything that you've told me was genuine.
[In the visitors room]
[He frowns again, looking down at his hands. He hands her another note before they come to the door that leads up to the roof.] I’m sorry. [Pushing down the handle, he opens it, and steps back to let her go first]
[she steps on the roof and goes to sit in the middle. She takes two cigarettes out of pack, handing one to Holden after she lights it. Sparks her own and takes a drag] Don't be sorry.
[In the visitors room]
[He frowns, taking his notepad out of his pocket and quickly writing something down as he walks, before tearing out the page and handing it to her] I thought you were going to study art? Why here?
[In the visitors room]
[He nods, standing up. He checks the hall for guards, before gesturing for her to come over. The guards around here weren’t exactly great at their job, so sneaking her in wouldn’t be much of a problem.]
[Follows, allowing Holden to lead the way and take control over the situation]
I owe you the answer to your question. I am at school, one near Athens. I've just been to nervous to visit you. I'm studying to become a nurse.
[In the visitors room]
[she stays silent for a brief moment] Sneak me inside and take me to the roof for a cigarette. And, if you're not going to speak, write at least.
[In the visitors room]
the-delinquent-drabbles:
Alright.
My father cheated on his wife with a French girl, nine months later I was was born out of wedlock. She handed me over to him, for whatever reason. She was young, I guess. I had two brothers, and a sister. My younger brother was sold illegally when he was five, I guess we needed the money, or something. His name was Lucas, but it was changed to Carson after he was sold. When I was eighteen, I enlisted in the army. A few months later I was fighting in the war. Two years later I was given Honourable Discharge after being captured by the Vietnamese and sustaining multiple injuries. I stopped talking after that. Then I killed over thirty people, including my older sister. My lawyer gave me two options, be put on death row, or allow myself to become apart of Dr. Coates` experiment. He was trying to create a new medication to cure Psychopathy. I took the second option. Three years in and I had a seizure caused by the medication that killed me. The official report says I killed myself, but they were trying to cover up his experiments.
Thank you.
[In the visitors room]
I don’t think you’ll like the truth.
It saddens me that you're underestimating me. I'm not going to sit here and beg for information. I only wish you would have trusted me and told me. Whatever happened, happened. You cannot change it, and I cannot change it. But, you can be honest and open with me.
[In the visitors room]
Please, I don’t know what you want from me.
Do you want to know about my family, is that it?
That, and what got you sent here. I've been honest with you, I deserve to have you honest with me.
I'm just confused, I'm sorry.
[In the visitors room]
I don’t know.
You know what? Never mind. It was stupid of me to come and visit you. Sorry to bother you.