They won't say it out loud but in a dysfunctional family, the one who chooses to heal becomes the threat.
Not because you're wrong but because your truth makes them uncomfortable.
The moment you stop shrinking to keep the peace, set boundaries, or say "This isn't okay with me anymore," you'll be called dramatic. Selfish. Too sensitive.
But listen: You're not the problem for wanting peace.
You're not too much for choosing healing over silence.
You're not breaking the family-you're breaking the cycle.
They'll shame you because your growth reveals their wounds. Keep going.
Your voice might rattle the room, but it's also the reason future generations will finally breathe easier.
You are the cycle breaker.
And that is something to be proud of.
I love how slowly over time during the movie Maleficent, she slowly grows fond of Aurora and ends up wanting to protect her - eventually even from her own curse.
My baby is now 4! Time flies. Itās like I have a wild teenager but I love him very much. When I was living on my own and struggling with alcoholism he was with me through my ups and down and while I started treatment for alcohol. He was my only emotional support I had. Plus has been with me with difficult nights from my cPTSD. Iām so thankful for him
His name is Artemis, inspired from my childhood favorite show growing up Sailor Moon thereās a white cat in the anime who is called Artemis. I love his name meaning. It literally says it means āsafeā and thatās how he makes me feel. Emotionally safe. He knows when I need cuddles. Heāll curl up on top of me and will help me calm down if Iām having an anxiety attack.
Disney movies kind of day. Keeping my anxiety at bay with some favorites. Watching Maleficent. I love how weāre brought up wanting to be the princess saved by a prince. Me Iām wanting to be saved by Maleficent. No one would mess with her. I have a soft spot for some of the villains in Disney movies as I get older. They didnāt become a villain over night.
Been dealing with panic attacks this past week. Wheezing at night is not helping with my anxiety. Only way I was able to get comfortable last night was calming myself down with a Ativan and getting myself positioned in the chair with my head elevated. Fell asleep in the recliner. I might need to make a doctors appointment since I feel like a inhaler would really help since itās triggering me to hyperventilating
Itād be great to start seeing the plum girls stand together and rebel. Even though at the beginning I thought Shunammite was gonna be a mean girl but even when you see the Guardian being punished at the beginning of the show by getting his hand taken off Hulda was the one looking like she was enjoying it a little too much. But I like seeing the character growth in her character. I really like that Shunammite has her friends backs. She went out of her way to make sure that Becka wasnāt caught drunk after being with the commander who fed her alcohol. I think thereās more to her that meets the eye. Would love to see her rebel against Gilead with Agnes, Daisy and Becks. Theyāre my girls š
Sooo happy I have the loving boyfriend that I do have. My boyfriend is currently running to the dispensary (we live where weed is legal) and is getting me a thc/cbg/cbd drink. This stuff is amazing and helps so much with anxiety without giving me a dopey high.
I got Artemis cuddled up by me (the black cat) heās been by my side all day. Definitely my cat who doesnāt like sharing me with other men. My boyfriend has lived with me for the past year and he still hisses at him. A few nights ago I went to lay down and he jumped up in the bed all happy I was in bed and cuddled with me briefly. My boyfriend comes to lay down he glares at him, hisses at him and then runs out. š heās not impressed.
Enjoying my evening watching Season 5, Episode 19 of Ghosts. Catching up on it. Didnāt even realize new episodes were added. I love having paramount+ Ghosts is so funny.
The fact that youāre all wrapped up in the giddiness of Becka and Hannah kissing and then it switches to Beckaās mother being killed really is like āYes there are pockets of happiness but donāt forget where we are and what could happen to them if theyāre found outā
The Testaments gives me the same chills as The Handmaids Tale. Women are never truly free to have the feelings that they do in this story. These girls arenāt aware that what theyāre feeling is natural if youāre bisexual or lesbian. I think Agnes will be exploring her sexuality in the next season. Which could be interesting to see given that thatās absolutely forbidden.
While I anxiously wait for Season 2 I plan on rereading The Handmaids Tale and The Testaments even the show is a bit different from the book. I want to write about Agnesā sexuality and her feelings. I could imagine how confusing her feelings would be after kissing Becka. Annnnnnd Iāve been wanting to see a love triangle happen between Garth, Agnes and Becka.
Theyāre young and confused because they are brought up being taught that theyāre not allowed to have romantic feelings for other people let alone women/women and man/man. Iāve seen some people say that their theory is that Garth is gay. But I donāt think he is. Iām curious to see the rest of the story.
She did not arrive in your life without history. She arrived carrying the weight of things that happened to her before she ever met you, wounds that shaped her responses, fears that surface without warning, and a deep and persistent voice that has spent years telling her she is too much or not enough or somewhere impossibly in between.
Loving her means understanding that you are not just in a relationship with who she is now. You are in a relationship with every version of her that learned to survive rather than simply live.
That kind of love is not for the faint of heart. It requires patience that does not expire, a steadiness that does not waver when she tests it, and the willingness to show up on the days when her past speaks louder than your present.
But the woman who is loved through her scars and finally begins to believe that she is worthy of that love becomes something extraordinary. She does not just heal. She transforms. And being the person who held space for that transformation is one of the most profound things you will ever be to another human being
Hey! š feel free to ignore this but as itās spooky season and I want some good ~scares~ what are your go-to scary movies or horror film recs? If you feel like sharing! Iām making a list to watch!
And miss the chance to rec my favorite horror????
This ended up really long so itās under the cut
1. House on Haunted Hill (1959) which is my all time me favorite horror movie
2. The Crow (1994) I have been obsessed with this movie since childhood and watch it every year on Devilās Night.
3. The Evil Dead franchise. Another series Iāve been obsessed with since childhood and my favorite horror franchise.
4. Candyman (1992) the absolute love I have for this movie!! And it came out the year I born!!
5. Hellraiser, Hellraiser 2 and the remake from 2022.
6. Saw 1-3. In my personal opinion it stopped being good after three. I still watch them all but the first three are my favorite.
7. Final Destination franchise.
8. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. Hilarious spoof of horror movies.
9. Halloween 1-3. Iām gonna be that person with the unpopular opinion that three is my favorite even though it has nothing to do with Michael Meyers.
10. Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. Yet another childhood favorite. Weirdly enough, it never gave me nightmares.
11. The Night of the Living Dead (1968). We canāt leave out the grandfather of zombies!! This one is my absolute favorite zombie movie.
12. An American Werewolf in London. My favorite werewolf movies with the best transformation scene to this day!!!
13. Trick r Treat. Silly little cult classic, but I absolutely love it!!
14. American Mary. Fantastic movie but huge sa warning towards the beginning.
15. Revenge (2017). Once again huge sa warning, but the film is a fantastic revenge movie. Both this and American Mary are both directed by woman and have filmed those scenes in a way that youāre not really seeing it. I canāt describe it, but I canāt sit through scenes involving that (I refuse to watch the tree scene in the first evil dead) but these make it easier to watch without having that overall graphic visual generally associated with those scenes.
16. Underworld 1-3. I only really like those ones personally. The story got weird after that.
17. Frankenstein (1994) probably the best adaptation to date that I have seen. I also cannot wait to see Guillermo Del Toroās because you know damn well that will be spot on for an adaptation. Also his work is just beautiful and brilliant in general.
18. Dracula (1992) hey look! Another one that came out the year I was born. I think definitely one of the first movies that made me go oh i wanna fuck the monster š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
19. Cabin Fever (2002) absolute gore feast but good.
20. Terrifier! All of them! I actually saw them all for the first time last year! Three was the first one I watched in theaters too!
21. Darkness Falls. Killer tooth fairy. Itās silly and campy and definitely underratedz
22. House of 1000 corpses. Extremely campy and twisted. But itās Rob Zombie so thatās a given.
23. The Purge franchise. The social commentary packed into each movie is so good.
24. The Stand mini series from the 90s. Not completely accurate to the book (my absolute favorite book by the way) but still a good watch.
25. Train to Busan. Absolutely brilliant movie!!!!
26. The Lost Boys
27. Resident Evil 1-3. Theyāre the only ones I truly like from that series.
28. Donnie Darko. Super campy. Love this movie despite my absolute fear of rabbits!!
29. Cabin in the Woods. Love the spoofing of horror movies while making a genuinely good horror movie.
Thereās definitely plenty more but I am a tired boy with a headache lol. I also tag posts with āhorrorā so feel free to scroll through that too!!
Almost done with this season. And then starting Season 10. If I remember correctly I did not like Season 10 one bit. I hope maybe I can get through it without losing interest since I do want to check out Season 13 when its released. I know it doesn't make a huge difference if I skipped a couple seasons but I'm ADHD and OCD and I like finishing things from start to finish since I don't like missing anything important lol
I was delirious watching the finale late last night and it is only hitting me now how big a deal it was that Agnes begged Garth to marry Becka. Like obviously we know she has feelings for him, but now that her engagement has been broken off, you would expect her to want Garth not to go through with it so they have a chance to be matched in the future. Hell, she was begging Becka not to marry him even when she knew she herself was supposed to be married off to someone else, which logically made no sense and tbh was an awful thing to say because marrying Maddox or a colony commander would have been horrible for Becka. She was prioritizing her crush over the safety of her best friend.
But now, something has shifted. Idk if itās because seeing Becka get taken by the Eyes made her realize how much she means to her, or if Becka destroying her life to protect her inspired her to do the same, or quite possibly both, but either way, she stepped the fuck up. Not just by throwing a wrench in her own marriage plans (to her, Weston would look like a good match even if she didnāt want him) to save Becka, but by prioritizing her afterwards. Previously, she was choosing Garth over Becka, despite everything they had been through. This episode, she chose Becka over Garth.
That kiss was so satisfying because it felt earned. Not that Agnes āearnedā the right to kiss Becka, but that she did the internal work necessary to get her to the point where she would. I think the combination of what Becka did for her and almost losing Becka made her realize how much she loves her, even if sheās not sure what kind of love that is. She looks a little confused during and after the kiss, but also certain. She looks like she does want it, even if sheās not sure what it means.
Ngl the show really outdid my expectations here. While Agnes was obviously very attached to Becka and afraid of losing her in episode 1, she was clearly unaware of having any feelings for her until recently, and I was afraid the show would go the tired route of the yearning gay best friend getting rebuffed and continuing to suffer with something totally unrequited. I had a hard time cheering for this ship early on because I truly did not expect them to go there, and so early on too! But damn, now I am truly invested. Agnes going from kissing Becka (her first kiss!), to having to watch her marry the boy sheās been pining over only minutes later is absolutely wild, and it sets up a very interesting season 2 where the two people she has feelings for are in a loveless marriage to each other. The drama is juicy, and a queer awakening storyline in Gilead is terrifying but extremely interesting, especially with Agnes being one of the narrators. As a queer person who grew up in Evangelicalism, I canāt wait to see where this all goes. I was already attached to the story for the catharsis even if I expected it to be only pain, but now that thereās a chance it could go in a more happy direction, where maybe the whole thing is not entirely doomed? Sign me the fuck up.
(I am crossposting this btw, so if you see it elsewhere I am only plagiarizing myself).
An idea that popped up in my head when Agnes ran to Garth after Beckaās
was taken by the eyes I think they're going to have a secret relationship which will be interesting to see in Gilead as it's completely forbidden. But I think Garth does actually care about Agnes and wants to protect her. Similiar to Nick who wanted to protect June. I feel like I may be starting to write The Testaments fanfiction while we wait for Season 2. Plus I plan on re-reading the books for fun. I think because of his feelings for Agnes is the only reason why he agreed to protect Becka by still agreeing to marry her. But it was also chilling to see that they got Beckyās family home even though now her dad is dead along with her mother. Everyone is wondering who Daisy really is, I'm curious who Beckaās original parents were. They were all stolen.
