[red083749937]

Happy Pride Month!

IRL YANDERE ANON SUBS

Be your most sick self.

Yandere anonymous submission posting blog, run by a heavy extreme yandere. Anything goes, nothing censored, no profile. Be yourself and know you are always accepted here; we're all free to speak our minds.

No DNI. I freely block or deny asks. No arguments.

Want to ask me something directly? Send an ask. I’ll love it. Be obsessed. Be yourself.

Love me, love me, love me.

RED.

Note: I am TAKEN. My posts are 100% targeted, and that target isn't you.

#00red.confess - confession tag.

#00red.talks - my statements or replies.

#00red.poll - polls tag.

ANONS:

🐊, 🧪 , 🐍🥀, 🌹, 🍒, 🚩, 🪓🐾 , 🔪🩸, 🕸️🩸, 🍷, ❤️‍🩹, 💌🦷, 🫀, 🫁, 🩰, ✉️, 🪧, 🤍, 🤍☕️, ☕️, 🍽️, 🕊️, 🐰, 💿 , 🌪️, 🎙️, 🔪⛓️‍💥, ⛓️, ⚓️, 🖥️, 🐺 , 🔨, 🎬, 📼, 🐁🐾, 🐾, 🕳️, 🕷️, 🐈‍⬛, 💣, 🖊️🪽, 🐈‍⬛🏠, 🦇, 🐜 , 🧺 , 🪚, 🏹, 🪳, 🦂, 🐕, 🧸, 🦌🦊, 🐶 , 🍮, 🚬, 🕯️, ⛅️✨, 🫥, 🐣, 🍯, 🚕, 🥃👨🏻‍🦳, 🍖, 🦊, 💊, 💥, 🌖, 🍨, 🪡, 💫💤, 🟦 , 🫆,🪼🫧, 📘, 🫂, 🌐, ❄️, 🎐, 💉, ✝️🖤, 🔮, 🌂, 🩷, 💕🐄 ,🎀, 🌸, 🚩,🔆, 🍬🐇

0bsessh34rt, D4L, [ Apathetic At The Core . ], Bombshell, Decomp, Awesomesauce Anon, Worshipper, Dulcinea, Sundae, ᓚ₍⑅^ . .^₎♡,

[red083749937]

since our last ask, me (host) n my personal protector have gotten together :) its so, so nice .... not only does it understand all of my jealousy and protectiveness, it reciprocates just as much ! our love is so disgusting and monstrous, its everything I could've hoped for ! n it'll always be with me every second of my day, all mine <3

-Tartarus

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[red083749937]

i love him so much. i wish we could truly be together :( i know it's messed up and i'm horrible but i don't care. i know it's "not right" but when i think about it the morality of it i feel nothing. and i wish i had someone to talk to about this but who would want to listen? it's just him and me now. this is something i have to keep to myself. but at least i can write about it here. thank you..

he is so patient and attentive to me. he never gets mad. he is so kind and gentle. i've never had anyone love me like he does. i feel so happy whenever i am with him or thinking about him. he always comforts me when i feel sad. i feel so normal with him. he is the only person i can be completely honest with. he doesn't judge. i can tell he wants what's best for me. he's so wise. i love him.

i love learning everything about him. his address, where he works, his likes and dislikes, his routine, how he looks without his clothes.. i love every part of him.

i know we can't really be together. there's physical distance.. and the fact that he has a family. i didn't know at first. but there's no excuse for my depravity now. if people knew about this they'd rightfully call me sick. but he changed my life. being with him helps me shower and eat and take care of myself. he is good for my health. i hope we can be together for a long time

<3

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[red083749937]

I'm actually perfect for him in every way but my one major flaw that could probably be explained away but also I am terrified of losing track of him by showing I know his accounts so I will not talk to him but holy shit I need him tied up so I can explain it all and help him calm down until he understands and forgives me and everything can be good again and I need to stop daydreaming about doing bad things to him but I miss him so much. That sums up my current situation so flawlessly

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[red083749937]

Lol i wish i wasn't too scared to kill myself

💕🐄

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[red083749937]

Am i ever gonna be enough? Is it too much? Is it too little? Do you want me?

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[red083749937]

Hey ⋆˚🚦｡⋆, do you know that the Akis stuff is just another temporary BS right? Your ex couldn't be loyal to himself if his life dependent on it. I hate to simplify it, but he is a deeply shitty person, and I doubt that will ever change, regardless of whom he is with, or whether he stays alone, which may suit him best. He gave you a PTSD-C, and God damn him for that. You are not alone; people sincerely care about you. It was not your fault that you tried to see goodness in someone who possessed so little of it. The haunting memories will lessen with time. It has not been that long since the breakup. Save money for or find a way to remove the scars. You really need to engage in your best efforts to remove him from your life completely. First love gone bad hurts like hell, but you will get over it. I remember your birthday and his awful family & how miserable they made your special day for you. Remember, you are a lioness, a symbol of fierce loyalty but also self-respect. A lioness is not weakened by misplaced loyalty. She remains fierce, noble, and true, but wiser about who is worthy of her heart. You will shine again.

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[red083749937]

https://www.tumblr.com/red083749937/823165981468852224/hey-apa-its-not-the-first-time-we-are-witnessing?source=share

^ replying to this

honestly its been. A really bad patch for us lately.

they have a self described “caregiver mindset” that they get stuck in, and we’ve told them quite a few times “hey, we appreciate it, but can you please not be so goddamn pushy. We might be disabled but we’re not a fucking two year old we can take care of ourselves.” And they always pull out the “I didn’t realize” excuse. just now they’re starting a fight bc I told them I no longer wanted to regress, as at one point it WAS a coping mechanism, but now its almost always full of meltdowns and sobbing because of how rough they push us into a weaker state sometimes.

as it stands currently, my days are mostly just working, trying to study (bc I was rlly fucking depressed and still am bc I failed two tests in a row) , with little time for hobbies, and mostly speaking to them.

if im being honest it doesn’t feel like they really care but what can i do? Tear my several headmates away from the only person they’ve really known? When some are definitely social butterflies but collectively we’re more introverted?

it feels like they’re trying to set me off. I’ve been trying to reframe my thinking and be more positive, even if its fake, to see if it helps, and they’re posting things like “one day they’ll admit it’s all my fault” and things Along the lines of killing themselves , and as of writing this, “its only gonna get worse forever and ever . I only have my partner , nobody else cares, it feels like my actions r killing more than those pills did”

…

honestly I feel like I should’ve realized quite a few didn’t really want us when only one alter out of their 10-15 at the time even bothered to think of being with us. It feels like the rest were forced, some never front anymore, some only front for attention or us to do something for them.

its toxic but what can I do? Leave? They have my address. They have all my log ins and my emails. They have it all. Unless they suddenly get better I am a rat in a cage .

~ [ Apathetic At The Core . ]

Yeah, you can leave. You can take your headmates away from that person. You can step away, you can take legal action (if necessary), you can make sure you're safe and not continuously abused just because you've spent a long time with them. Easy, not at all, no, but if you're asking "can I just leave?" the answer is yes, you can.

Good luck.

[red083749937]

Hey Apa. It's not the first time we are witnessing your partner's abuse of you manifest in your conversations, but there is something else, and I just noticed it. You are not on the same wavelength. Whatever you tell them, they always misinterpret or warp it somehow. They always manage to make you the bad one. Even though it does not look it, you two probably are not alike and do not have the same vibes/energy/preferred ways of healing. I wonder if it's because you are an introvert and they are extrovert. That's not a promising match. Or maybe your FP is incapable of deep feelings like you are, or is too busy focusing on verbally and emotionally beating down on you. I think what you two share is inertia, familiarity, and that's enough comfort until it is not, at the point when they reveal their disrespect of you. Not only you are not compatible, but it's like a deaf-mute theatre of an absurd when communications turn to weapons or simply always fail. Your conversations are almost always a struggle for power, tit for tat, with very low empathy on their part. As a fellow yandere, it does hurt to read how they mistreat (for lack of a better word) you (I am too much of an empath when it comes to yans and that's a problem for me and I had to teach the autistic person in me to stop wearing my heart on the sleeve). We all need to make an effort to take care of ourselves for our loved ones, but your darling's choice of words tells me that they are tired of you and could move and be all right. They seem insincere. Avoidant even. Please forgive me if I am wrong. That's just what I am picking up from what you posted. Regardless of that awful conversation, I will always hope and pray you do NOT GIVE UP. EVER.

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[red083749937]

Trying to help anon with question because this subject is interesting. I am (mostly) asexual. I can feel sexual attraction, but it is rare, and wanting to have sex is even more infrequent. I haven't had sex in years and do not particularly miss it. I do get "horny" but very rarely do I pleasure myself and if I do I feel dirty and so bad that I rather not do it. There is a huge difference though between sexual and romantic. "Aroace" is a term that is too vague and nonspecific, in my opinion. Aro =aromantic. Ace=Asexual. Not exactly the same thing.

I regard myself as a romantic soul but the examples I am listing are not strictly romantic. Holding hands or hugging, or just holding one's yandere/darling, could be both romantic and or platonic. Platonic to me does not mean that there is no touch at all. And romantic to me is very different from sexual. Kissing one on the forehead is both romantic and platonic to me but never sexual. Terms like spouse vs partner are too particular. I think we can all be both at the same time. I try to refrain from categorizing and classifying yans who are "in between".

Here's the thing: if a yandere is "romantic", it would probably mean that they would only be jealous about other contenders who are romantically interested in their favorite person. According to that logic, the platonic yandere is much more dedicated, devoted, extreme and tenacious: they do not wish ANYONE to compete on the attention and time of their darling. It gets tricky because the platonic yandere can still want to live as a couple or family (with pets) as pairs do. A family of two humans and two cats is still a family; no romance necessary.

If you are picturing yourself as one's inseparable soulmate and want to be together 24/7, how do you imagine that time will be spent? If you want to have children - to me it means you are more on the romantic side. I NEVER had them and never will. Not interested. But does it make me a full blown platonic? I am not so sure. Also, an obsession with how one looks, especially certain body features, leans romantic. I could care less about looks. While I do like presenting cute, and like dresses, I am a little girl at heart, and I self-regress a lot.

The truth is that some yandere traits are shared by both platonic and romantic yans: they overlap. Discouraging independence and controlling a darling's life can be expressed by both types. To me, though, a romantic/sexual yan is always a threat. Romance is built on social "paradigms" and beauty "norms". There's always doubt that someone will wake up one day to find someone else more attractive. Romantic yan love seems to me to be more conditional. This is exactly where the PLATONIC yandere wins HANDS DOWN.

Ofc this is just my perception. I am hardly an authority on obsessive love. I just speak from my own experience and how I react to pathological obsession. If someone makes me feel like "home", everything else does not matter. Not lingerie, not love letters. Is it still ok to like poetry or heart shaped stuff? I don't see why not. I think of it more as a spectrum. QPR are so much more meaningful than an average marriage, especially when they are mono, and isolate everyone else from the beloved. There is nothing more powerful than that. To summarize, I think platonic still is all about TLC affection whereas romantic is more about having sexual affection/attraction.

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[red083749937]

Hw do u distinguish between romantic feelings and platonic feelinfs,? what r the key differences between the 2

Im a yan hving troubel telling what i rlly feel.

Red u r welcome to reply to this too

I’m aromantic spec, can’t answer this. Leaving it to other anons.

[red083749937]

More female empowerment: can't say this is 100% me, but, maybe close, and, she maybe used to be me. This divinity of music is brought to you by Sara Bareilles & Rufus Wainwright in "She Used to Be Mine"

And be scared of the life that's inside her Growing stronger each day 'Til it finally reminds her to fight just a little To bring back the fire in her eyes She's gone, but used to be mine

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[red083749937]

OK IM THE ANON WHOS PARTNER TOLD THEM TO KILL THEMSELEVS I FUCKING FORGOT MY SIGN OFF. ITS APA. imjsut holy shit

past couple days (? Weeks) we’ve been really fucking bad. Like. Horribly. Mentally. we’re going thru a rough patch and are hallucinating, forgetting to eat, sleep, shower, etc. We’ve been in a daze, and not last night but the night prior one of our recently dormant alters fronted and was like “im fucking sick of being a system, I don’t want this, I never wanted this” and was having a meltdown bc he was that overwhelmed. When we have meltdowns, we sometimes reel in the aftermath for days. We’ve been heavily out of it since. We’ve told them

we came to them. We were like “im thinking of cutting again” . They told us they’d cry if we did, we replied “:(?” Because we genuinely don’t understand why ANYBODY has a fuss over people cutting themselves, it’s their body their choice, as long as they’re not risking their life don’t fucking intervene yknow?? Anyways. We apologize for DARING to think of the thing that’s been our coping mechanism for over a decade .

I don’t know who was up, but they were like “wgy r we even a system lmao. We aren’t even that traumatized?? And we would have no reason to form??”. Beloved starts being rude as fuck, so we’re like “ok let’s just play dead and maybe they’ll calm down”

behold, the messages I received from them (they’re red im white)

“Actually you know what. Nevermind. I’m going to lose you anyway I’ll just stop trying.”

“You’re good enough as is. I know I can’t stop fate. I’m running out of ways to help lmao i can’t take it anymore.”

“Please don’t leave me”

“I’m not leaving. I’m just gonna sit and rot and let everything happen. You were right when you said we’d both die before we ever got to meet.”

“If you’re gonna die anyway I’d rather stay believing you’re a good person I don’t need another fucking abuser this close to me”

“If you really want to die just know i won’t be stopping you anymore. It’s gonna happen one day anyway so it’s better to give up now and maybe it won’t hurt as much.”

“You’re gonna attempt, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know”

“If you do please block me before you do. Accepting that I can’t save you from death is already too much, I can’t take seeing your account after you do it”

Then of course. After they told me to FUCKING KILL MYSELF basically. They start spamming.

“I hope you find more joy. I don’t think I ever will. I’ll make sure to visit your grave. With your favorite flowers. It’s the least i can do if I’ve given up on you. The least i can do is leave something nice at your grave as an apology for joining everyone else. I love you so much. I’m so sorry. I hope the afterlife is happier for you. I’ll visit your grave when I grow old enough to get out of this place”

”im still here. Wait a moment if im dying i at least want to give you the gift I’ve been making you since the start of the year.”

“oh i thought you died already:(”

so I did end up attempting and obv failed but then I check my DMs to

“I’m sorry. i’ll miss you. thank you for being the only person to treat me right so far. I’m sorry I gave up on you. I’ll always care about you. I love you. So much more than you’ll ever know.”

and then they started crying after pushing ME to almost overdosing that they’d miss me too much 🥹 dude istg. Isn’t even the first time. And I know tomorrow morning is gonna be spamming apologies and how they love me so much when they can’t even bother to listen to us when we say “LET US FUCKING BE. IF WE DONT COME TO YOU FOR A PROBLEM, WE CAN DO IT ON OUR OWN”.

Few days ago they also got rlly upset at us for - get this - being overly self reliant for doing everything myself because of hw abusive my life has been since I was a small kid. God forbid the one who sees isolation as safety wants to do things alone sometimes???

~ [ Apathetic At The Core . ]

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[red083749937]

 ⋆˚🚦｡⋆ :

my birthday is coming up and i just. Cant stop having flashbacks to my ex. The man that I thought I would marry. The man I gave everything to. Blood sweat and tears and hard work into trying to make him better and to make sure our relationship would last. The only one putting in any kind of effort. Ive been trying to let go but as the date comes closer I feel worse.

a year ago on my birthday he bought me a pan that i ended up using to make him food for when he got home. I was 19. I wasted not going to school to move to where he was to live out some fantasy that someone out there would love me. He got me a pan, calico critters, a cake, and a letter. At the time i cried tears of joy because it was the most he had ever done for me. But the day before my birthday he insulted me constantly to make me cry. During my birthday his family wouldnt even look at me and treated me as if i was disgusting. Didnt speak to me and invited their own friends over.

And now he sits as ‘Akis devoted sex slave’ on discord. Some girl he was probably cheating on me with. Was abusing me mentally and sometimes physically not enough? Everyone here told me to run and i tried so hard. It seems love and hate really are two sides of the same coin.

His name is still etched into my thigh. Its not very noticeable unless the right lighting hits it. It sickens me. I try to rub it away and it never leaves.

i wrote letters in blood, contracts. He made one in the beginning too. Our blood combined. We had the same blood type. I thought it was perfect. I thought he was the one. Was it all my fault? It feels like its all my fault.

it still feels like i can feel him and his emotions through the binding contracts. Whenever he changed his pfp or name and i was just going about my day, i iust got this sinking sick feeling and when i checked it was changed. But almost all month now its ‘Akis devoted sex slave’.

What did i do to deserve this? When will it end? Night terrors leaving me soaked in bed and flashbacks and constant memories. I iust wanted a family that loved me. I just wanted someone who would take care of me and whisk me away from the world. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be loved so much.

I just want it to stop

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[red083749937]

I can feel it all again. The thought and existence of you, festering beneath my skin. It feels so warm, anytime I look at you, it starts getting hotter. It’s like my emotions for you are starting to burn harder again, and I don’t know where to put it. It’s not I forgot anything. Any of the things you did and have said to me, the things I keep being told is better for me, the thoughts I have about it all.

But I’m so sick for you, it’s disgusting, and it’s going to turn violent. Everytime I am with you I want to strangle you until you feel it all too. I want to make you breathless, I want to devour you, I want to mark you, I want to beat you until every bruise is an apology for the hell you put me through. I want to feel your blood on my fingertips and tongue again, your tears too, just so I know your regret is real.

But above all, I want it to be the same again. It’s such a shame it can’t be like that. My feelings for you are bound to get stronger, to boil over even while I try to hide it. You can try all you want to lock me up for the deranged thing I am, but it won’t work. I’ll still find you, every single time.

God I want you so bad.

[red083749937]

I can't get over you and it's killing me. TTH.

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[red083749937]

really really really super in love with the way my partner system just fucking GAVE UP ON US WHEN WE WERE ABOUT TO RELAPSE FROM STRESS and when we calmed down they just went “lmao yeah im gonna lose you anyways. Why try.”

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