sesamenom's non-silmarillion stuff. enjoyer of clones (canon and soft wars), jedi (some legends included), mandalorians, and nightsisters. there will be a variety lol. | reblogs welcome, do not repost my art or use it in ai.
it has very little bearing on the story but i have decided that revan and lucien's first meeting was 9 yr old lucien catching 4 yr old revan eating fish food out of one of the temple fountains
Ferroh has waltzed into my revanchist background notes with a whole b plot (under the cut for three paragraphs of background revanchist ramblings)
he dates Captain Telettoh (the republic liaison guy he shows up with) for the early part of the war (dont know if i want them to get married but if so it would be soon after Malachor). Telettoh later becomes an admiral sometime around Duro, specifically Ferroh's admiral. they start to grow apart during the Sith era (but they still have to work together because admiral and general). right after Telos and the whole Malak jaw incident Telettoh breaks up/divorces Ferroh and deserts; Carth and Morvis and most of the rest left earlier and Telettoh goes to join them with the republic. he's not trusted obviously but he accepts it and does what he can, and the information he brought back is what allows the republic/jedi to stage the ambush that captures Revan.
after Revan gets captured, Ferroh learns of the betrayal and tries to fight Malak/avenge Revan. he loses and dies (unless i want to put Darth Ferroh somewhere in an au. then he leaves and goes into exile). Telettoh hears about Ferroh's death and feels Some Kind of Way about it (not in a good way), and it fully sinks in how much damage his Sith career caused.
not sure how I want Telettoh to die (shot down over Taris just before the Endar Spire crashes? captured and killed? survived and helped destroy the Star Forge? who knows), but he spends the rest of his life (however long that happens to be) trying to undo all the Malak-related damage (and, apparently, warn people about making those mistakes, to the point where he's remembered 2000 years later for saying "Never let Malak aboard" lol)
crucially their relationship does Not work and ends quite explosively (love loses and so do the sith)
something that is so funny to me is that. demagol did all that trying to figure out how force sensitivity works. and he didn't even discover midichlorians???
on one hand i usually go with revanderous + bastila/carth for post kotor relationships. on the other hand it's incredibly funny that the kid basically named revan jr turned out about as force sensitive as a rock, and it took another nine generations for revan & bastila's lineage to produce another jedi
similar feelings about revan in swtor. in terms of creating a narratively satisfying ending that ties into the themes of kotor and kotor2? eeehhhh. revan somehow midlife-crisising their way back to the dark side for several more rounds of causing problems for the entire galaxy? hilarious.
Aaalright here's the promised new post about the Soresu monster Revan AU i've been crafting with @redbean-nom! Summary if you haven't seen the previous discussions, Revan was reborn into the Prequel era at about Ahsoka's age and gets assigned to Obi-Wan as a Padawan since he seems to do well with stupidly op children. It... goes. Also this got so long I feel kinda bad just throwing it out so have a break for this one.
Some more thoughts in no particular order, with varying degrees of angst:
First of all and probably least angsty, Obi-Wan looks at his new Padawan and tries to figure out if he can be carefully hopeful that for once someone will not end up towering over him. He's not even short, it's just that Qui-Gon and Anakin are stupid tall (and even Ahsoka ends up being tall as fuck as an adult, Revan will be literally the only one in this lineage shorter than him except for Yoda. And he hardly counts.)
Jumping off the weirdly obssed with droids comment, honestly yeah. Obi-Wan goes through the info he got, sees "interested in droid mechanics" and goes "okay, yeah, i can handle this, we can put up Anakin's old work bench at the temple, i'm sure there's some stuff he left when he moved out, and i can make sure they have a space in their quarters on board to tinker, this is fine" and then after some of the earlier skirmishes he goes to grab them only the find them indeed tinkering, but not on anything reasonable like an astromech or just various parts but on a decapitated battle droid. As you do. One that bear clear lightsaber marks. And was obviously scavenged from the battlefield. And then they both freeze up for a moment just looking at each other.
"...Good evening, Padawan."
"...Good evening, Master."
"What is that project of yours there?"
"...I am examining a deactivated battle droid. I removed the energy cells, it can't reactivate. I also removed all weapons as a precaution."
"Right. And what are your prelimenary results then?"
"They are sloppily constructed, the analysis matrix is at least two decades out of date, the existential circuits are way overtuned, wires and couplings are almost all too loose, and the memory cores are insultingly easy to get into. It doesn't even have a limited self destruct function to wipe those. I could do better." freezes up cause oops that last part might be taken badly
"Right. Well, if you find anything of note, do let me know. And if you do soldering, you will wear the safety equipment, I know Anakin's old one's are a bit big but you will use them until we get you your own." And then Obi-Wan leaves cause he decided really he doesn't need them that badly for this meeting, they seem to be having fun, and he needs to now grapple with the fact that it seems he will have to learn a whole new set of droid safety measures if his new Padawan wants to kriff around with this. Also maybe he's a little bit amused that they basically called Dooku sloppy and cheap.
Moving on from that there are also points how would they do in some of the Clone Wars arcs? Like, for example, my favourite one, the Rako Hardeen arc. Cause I mean come on. Basically we have two options here for setup, either Obi-Wan Cuts the Training Bond when he 'dies' to sell it, or the council decides that is too cruel to do to Padawan and they are included but basically put on house arrest for the duration. It's not unreasonable for them to claim that after such a traumatic experience they need some privacy to heal, so they could basically lock them in their quarters to keep them out of public eye and potentially let anything leak. I don't think they would overlook something as important as a training bond honestly, so I would discount that as a possibility, but both of the mentioned options I think have some interesting aspects. Option 1 is of course excellent for the angst. And honestly I think, even not included, they would call the plot basically immediately, because they know what an actually ripped bond feels like. They know what it feels like when your bond partner dies, tearing a hole into your soul like someone's ripping you apart limb from limb with their bare hands. And this was not it. This was quick, a slice with precision. Like a lightsaber. This was intentional. And they can probably guess the rough shape of the plan, that there is a plan, that this is not about them, they might even understand and appreciate the idea. They are not Anakin. But it hurts anyway. It cuts into a part of them they've tried to keep buried as deep as it would go, but it's still there. And they watch Anakin *break* over the death of their Master and they can't help but question if maybe they trusted too quickly. If maybe this council's cruelty is just different, if they will be torn apart another way instead. They know, but they can't bring themselves to tell Anakin, because of this is what they're willing to do to him, who usually gets away with basically anything with just a scolding, than what will happen to Revan if they move against them? The masters think it's losing their master that makes them withdraw and but really it's bone chilling fear. When Obi-Wan Returns they don't pretend at surprise, but they don't celebrate either. They are simply there. Quiet and unobtrusive and agreeable. And Obi-Wan isn't sure if this hurts more or Anakin's yelling.
The other version on the other hand would also be interesting, because it would keep Revan in the loop and affirm that the Council is trying. They're not happy about being locked up with a few glorified toys but well. They'll find a way to do something, they can't just sit around on their ass. The opportunity presents itself when Anakin swallows down his own rage just long enough to realize that maybe he should check on his Padawan sibling who just must have had their training bond torn horrifically. He's not supposed to be able to get in there, but when has he ever cared about that. He hacks the door and gets in anyway, and Revan is before a decision. They make a different one here, slightly less unsettled and slightly more in a conniving mood. They tell Anakin. Not everything, they don't have the info Palpatine does, but they tell him the gist of it that they figured out, that their master is alive and very likely masquerading as his murderer right now. Anakin is naturally pissed and wants to go yell at the council but Revan panics and makes him swear not to, a reaction so uncharacteristic it startles Anakin enough to activate his one braincell. And then we can have some Revan Anakin scheming, putting us on the way of some emotional catharsis between these two. They don't like each other. But they are united in being kinda pissed at Obi-Wan and wanting to make sure he survives this bullshit. And Palpatine gets super mad because he was so hoping to use this to fuck up Anakin more and that fucker doesn't even show up. Just politely declines his invitation. The absolute nerve. Ahsoka eventually gets included because she is smart and also needed to keep Anakin and Revan from devolving into bickering.
Another fun idea, what if Revan somehow learns about Melida/Daan, just to fuck up their trust issues even more. On the one hand I think it would give them a whole new perspective on Obi-Wan. He did, in a way, a very similar thing they did. He chose to join a war to end it, against the wishes of the Jedi and suffered the consequences for it. When he was younger than they were even. But he returned. He was exiled for his choice but allowed to return. And so Revan just kinda sits around for a while chewing on that, trying to decide how the fuck that's supposed to make them feel.
A small detail that occurred to me about the Anakin Revan situation, there is another point for Anakin to resent them. At some point through whatever shenanigans they all end up on Tattooine for repairs or something relatively simple and it's revealed that not only does Revan like and is at dealing with Jawas, they also speak the Tusken language. And can just like. Talk to them. Like people. Revan is running around, honestly more relaxed than they felt in a while because this is familiar. The languages changed a bit but they can adjust, they're familiar with the locale, and in comparison with everything else this is almost low stakes. Obi-Wan is confused where the fuck his temple raised Padawan learned Tusken or Jawa but they are doing really well around here so he's happy to just let them take the lead. A teaching opportunity. Ahsoka thinks Revan is so cool for all this and also sand is fun. And in the meantime Anakin is just absolutely stewing in jealousy, resentment, painful memories and guilt. Obi-Wan just thinks it's the third of those and tries to give him space and keeps the kids off him.
Now, getting into some overarching plot ideas. You are absolutely right that Revan will try to deal with Dooku somehow. Very possibly through murder. But 1) Dooku is not that easy to kill, and 2) I think it wouldn't take them super long to realize there is someone else pulling strings. Dooku does love monologuing, and he did literally tell Obi-Wan who may very well at some point drop what was said in that conversation. Not even intentionally, it just comes up while talking about something else. And Revan goes Hang on. And from that point forward, the goal is not just 'Get rid of this guy' but also 'Find out what the fuck is up' and also very possible 'Maybe... Maybe I can make him back down. Maybe.' Murder is still on the table but if they can redeem him... Not into a Jedi maybe, but enough to just get him to stop... Then maybe that could mean they could also be fine. Not that they have any idea how to do that, but there is very little they would not at least try to do. So they do what they did on Korriban (it did work for Yuthura. For some reason.) and just keep trying to harass him. They seek him out on any battlefield they can, much to Obi-Wan's terror, somehow they manage to dig out his personal comm number and just keep sending him passive aggressive messages. The galaxy's most dramatic bitches just going at it. Except for everyone else it just looks like this 14 year old and this old guy have personal beef for some reason. Dooku meanwhile decides that yes, finally this is a great grand Padawan worthy of the title, but also what the fuck is wrong with them. How did they get his number. And why do they just keep sending him texts that read 'Nice plan for reform you got there, shame you're being played like a fiddle.' and 'My master is helping me further my studies in Makashi, unfortunate that you're evil' (it is very good Makashi. Almost suspiciously so. He knows Obi-Wan is not specialised to it for all his skill so how did they learn that) They keep bickering and Revan just keeps dropping bits and pieces of lore. Comments that don't really make sense from a young teenager. Barbs about being manipulated and blind to it, about the historical proof that making the Jedi join a war is a bad idea, about civil wars being a distraction to dealing with the real problem. And through all of that Dooku is the first to eventually put it together. To start digging into it and finding records of Revan, of their birth name, maybe even rare holos of their actual face. And for a while he just sits there at his desk and thinks. What is going to do with this information. He could hand it to Sidious. Either his master will have them killed or try to use them for his own gains. So no, not worth it. He could tell the Jedi, anonymously, if he wants to make sure they won't disregard it for being from him. They would likely pull them from the field, at least while they figure if he's right, removing that problem from his hands. But also... He is interested where this is going. And Revan is famous, among other things, for their rejection of restrictions by the Order. They should understand the dangers of stagnations, of the Order's refusal to act. So maybe he can bait them, convince them to join him once he's gotten rid of Sidious, and if they do, maybe Obi-Wan will also come along. So he just shuts his mouth for the time being, keeps that to himself, and schemes.
Which in turn leads me to the thing I've been hinting at, which is I think I have a fun idea of how to include Alek in this. Much like version b of Shadow Revan, he never shows up at the temple. Revan remains alone. He is around, but due to a series of coincidences he's just never picked up by the Jedi. There are no Mandalorian wars, so his home is not destroyed and he doesn't need to flee. He spends his childhood with his loving family. He's dealing with his trauma, but much like Revan he is alone. And unlike Revan him trying to talk about it would first of all not be believed at all, if anyone would even know what he's talking about, and secondly Darth Malak never got a redemption in the Galaxy's eyes, Revan could still rely on some good willy as much as that relies on horribly painful memories and trauma, but Darth Malak died a villain. And aside from all of that, from loneliness and guilt and anger, he's also just very confused. Why is he here. What is the point. He's not even a Jedi, he's just some guy on some random planet. Why would the force plop him into this when it seems he's just gonna be some ordinary person. It doesn't even occur to him to try and find the Jedi cause well. They didn't exactly part on good terms, as much as these are different people, and he has no reason to assume Revan is there since Revan at his point is just a Padawan, talented and powerful they may be, outside of the order no one would really know they exist, or at least not to a degree that random people on other planets would know them.
And then the war starts.
This is why he's here. He doesn't know what the fuck he's supposed to do, he is 14, he's just a private citizen, but this has to be it. What else would it be. The war rages around him, the Jedi are intimately involved and he's not sure what to think about that. He keeps an eye out, he watches the news, he tries to stay informed, because what else can he do, and at one point he sees a recording of High General Kenobi, with his new Padawan by his side, and the world just freezes. They look different than before. Their hair is in a neat, regular Padawan cut and they don't have the deep scar he burnt into their face in revenge for his jaw. They stand at attention, blending into the background like an obedient Padawan, carefully neutral but interested expression. It's strange, but it is them. It's Revan. He's not alone. And he has no idea how to get to them. He has to, the Force is screaming into his ears he has to get to them, but he's too old for the Jedi now, and he can hardly hunt them down on his own. The opportunity arrives, if it can be called such, a while later in the form of a separatist occupation of his planet. For some reason it's important, maybe it's a trap for Obi-Wan, maybe it's politically important, either way Count Dooku himself, who has at this point pieced it together, arrives to hold an ominous speech. Alek looks at him and knows what he is, feels it in his bones, the darkness radiating off him and smothering Alek like a familiar and uncomfortable coat. And yet. And yet he is considering. It would put him on the field. It would let him look for Revan. The choice is made for him when Dooku, bothered by something on this planet, spots him and after a brief moment makes the connection between the strange feeling and the vaguely familiar face of this boy. And he too sees an opportunity. He puts a choice to Alek, join him, and his family will be spared. It's not really a choice at all, and they both know, for more than one reason. And so Alek goes with him and once again takes up a red saber. He agrees to be trained, knowing damn well Dooku is aiming to make sure he falls again. He grits his teeth and endures it as best he can. It's not enough entirely, but he holds himself together enough to hold onto his goals. Find Revan. Whatever the cost. And eventually he spots his chance. He sneaks onto a ship meant for an attack close to the 212th. He gets on planet, slaughtering his way through (mostly but not exclusively) droids until eventually he really does spot them. Revan meanwhile fights in the middle of the skirmish- and freezes. Feeling his presence first and then he's just there. And he looks like he did at 14, except he's darker than he was then, cold, not- not exactly like when he was Darth Malak, but similar. He's there but they're sure he's not, this has to be another hallucination, it's some new torture their mind dreamed up. They can't move, they can't think, they just stand there in horror and grief while the fight rages on around them. Their men notice but no one is close enough to do something. Alek spots them, finally found them after weeks, probably months, they're there, and they just freeze up like a rookie, in the middle of a battle, blaster fire around them, and it scares him and pisses him off, why are they so kriffing stupid, so he just starts running for them, and they still do nothing until he finally just bowls them over and grabs them, keeping on running until he gets them out of the thick of it.
Obi-Wan just feels the bond shut down and watches as his normally composed and disciplined Padawan just freezes in the middle of battle and is dragged off by boy who reeks of the darkness, what else is he supposed to think but that this is some plot to kidnap his padawan, but he can't do anything but try to keep the battle going as it's supposed to, can't just run after them. Anakin of course has no such compunctions, and immediately bounds after them. He might not like them, he might even resent them, but he's not going to let a child get kidnapped by separatists, much less Darksiders if he can help it. When Obi-Wan can finally extract himself and runs after them he finds Anakin fighting the boy who has a red lightsaber and is holding himself shockingly well. He's good, better than any Padawan his age, probably better than most knights. And behind them on the ground lies Revan, clearly having something like a panic attack. When Obi-Wan joins the fight Alek starts to panic, because he knows he can't win this, not against the two of them, but he has to get out, and he has to get Revan out with him. The Jedi are a threat, clearly they did something to Revan, again, and they can't help themself right now, so he has to do it. The battle continues for a little while until Revan suddenly pushes up and throws themself at Alek, sobbing loudly and babbling incoherently, and everyone freezes. Lightsabers are lowered and what follows is a standoff of a different kind. Any attempt to separate the two of them is met with angry growling from Alek and barely lucid begging from Revan. Eventually a sort of truce is reached and Alek agrees to come along with them, so long as he gets to stay with Revan who is still very much out of it. He's here, he really has to be here, it can't be another hallucination, they're not alone, please force don't let it be another hallucination, but if it isn't, if this is really him, then they did it again, they made him fall without even knowing, it really is all their fault-
Anakin is pissed because what the fuck is going on. Also why was that child able to hold up against him. That's just unfair, why are there two of them now. Obi-Wan is concerned because what the fuck is going on. He's concerned for his Padawan who he's never seen like this, and he's concerned for this boy who can't be much older than them, who radiates darkness, and who is refusing to answer any questions, instead just glaring at everybody. They are eventually both returned to the temple for treatment and an investigation, during which is when it probably finally all comes out. Meanwhile Dooku is fucking pissed cause he completely underestimated Alek's determination and intelligence. So much for his schemes.
And after aaaaall that I have one more point, which is I think Revan would be freaked out by the clones. Not for being clones, but because of how easy it is for people to just accept they were basically bred for slavery in this army, by some mysterious person. They are not granted an even a bit of autonomy, are expected to be opinionless and compliant, and that hits right into their deepest insecurities. It's terrifying to just see this go unquestioned and they try to avoid being around them at all, to the poin the clones think they're one of *those* people for a while. Which naturally makes it worse, because it means they don't trust them to show anything of their personalities, reinforcing the entire problem. It only starts getting better when Revan accidentally stumbles across a group of clones playing cards and bickering, and after a moment of awkward silence, one of them (probably Waxer honestly) hesitantly invites them to join. That is however also the last time they are invited to join for gambling because they fleece everyone extremely thoroughly. "Never try to gamble with the general" is extended to "never try to gamble with a jedi" because you will lose inevitably. They are invited to other bonding activities though. They quickly become a highly sought after addition for armor painting sessions because they always have stupidly cool ideas. Having an image done by the Commander on their armor becomes somewhat of a status symbol in the 212th.
Obi wan, looking at Tiny Revan: Finally, a short one
(maul in my knightrise au (tcw revan, ds edition) is unexpectedly happy to finally be taller than one of his humanoid allies)
Obi wan just kind of rolling with Revan's tinkering lol. he checks on their workshop a few weeks later and finds that they've built a New And Improved Droideka programmed to chase exclusively Grievous around with its built in flamethrower, and have since moved on to thoroughly deconstructing the memory core and analysis matrix of a captured super tactical droid.
revan: good afternoon, master. the command protocols of super tactical droids are designed to be resistant to active protocol injection, but can be easily convinced to disregard orders from CIS high command. i will need access to a CIS broadcast frequency to test next time we are planetside.
regarding the Hardeen Arc, it def makes sense that Revan would figure it out. after all, if Kae = Kreia, she faked her death at least twice(?), which presumably included her bond at the time with Revan. plus it's reasonable to assume the Jedi broke/otherwise concealed Revan's training bond with Malak, otherwise he'd probably have nuked Dantooine within the week, so it's entirely possible Revan's been on *both* sides of the "master broke training bond to fake their death" thing?
option 1: Obi wan cuts his bonds and does the face/voice changing thing, Anakin immediately goes on a grieving rampage, and then the Council gets a call ten seconds later from Tiny Revan
revan: faking your death without informing those affected. i am deeply disappointed in you :/ i expected better from the council, at the very least :///
mace, to obi wan: ....well, here's to hoping count dooku is less perceptive than your weird padawan
and the thing is, they understand the utility of the plan! it makes sense for Obi wan to use the opportunity to go undercover! but not informing or even comforting his loved ones is simply needless cruelty on the Council's part. and they wonder, did the Council just really not realize? is their cruelty purely a product of ignorance- the Order's spent so long forming their identity around compassion that they have no idea how to deal with situations falling closer to the grey area in between? they didn't *think* this Council would go through with the mindwipe... but they didn't think their own Council would, either, before it really happened.
the only thing holding their fear at bay before was the reassurance that this Council would be horrified by what the old Council did to them. now, they don't even have that. even if they came out and told them, would the Council even understand how traumatizing the mindwipe was, if they thought Anakin of all people would be just fine with Obi wan secretly faking his death?
option 2: if option 1 was the Council's [Dark Side Points Gained] option, this is somewhat more LS. but Revan's still left wondering- why did the Council tell just them and not Anakin as well? did they really think Anakin would handle it better? or are they using Anakin's very visible anger and grief simply to help sell the cover story, whereas they knew Revan's more prone to silently plotting until everything explodes all at once? and it hits them- manipulating Anakin like that just for the sake of an advantage in the war is exactly something they'd have done as Darth Revan. and if the *Council* has resorted to Darth Revan Ideas, how could they possibly trust the Order? with option 1, they're stunned by the cruelty of the Council; with option 2, they're worried the Council's already Fallen.
and yes Melida/Daan!! on one hand Obi wan was allowed to return; on the other hand the Jedi just kind of left him there. even they had Vrook grumpily chasing them around to scold them for leaving!
but then there's the Stark Hyperspace War, in which Tyvokka literally flipped the tables during a negotiation and the Jedi fully joined the war. sure, the Order let Obi wan rejoin, but also they just left him to fend for himself. but when a Master threw a table at a diplomat, the entire Order plunged into war! Plo was leading armies, Oppo Rancisis was up on the command ship using full on battle meditation, Saesee Tiin was commanding two fighter squadrons; Windu, Adi Gallia, Eeth Koth, and Tholme (with Quinlan in tow) were all leading ground missions.
and then there's the entire situation with the Huk War, which really can't be spun in any way favorable to the Jedi. (the Kaleesh had been fighting slavers for generations, the slavers happened to be Trade Federation aligned and called the Senate for help, and the Senate dumped a bunch of Jedi to go end the war on the side of the slavers; the Jedi showed up, killed a bunch of Kaleesh rebels, and sanctioned the survivors hard enough to cause a famine. Grievous, a Kaleesh freedom fighter whose children starved to death under Republic sanctions, found out that the Jedi just kind of let the slavers run off desecrating Kaleesh burial/holy sites, rallied the rebellion, but the Banking Clan secretly bombed his ship, and then he survived as the cyborg Grievous of tcw era) so. it's not like this Order is entire opposed to war, they're just... selective about it. and not even selective in a good way (the Stark Hyperspace War throttled bacta access in the Outer Rim; the Huk War destroyed the Kaleesh resistance). but the thing those two conflicts have in common is that the Jedi were ordered to fix it by the Senate; Melida/Daan was purely an independent conflict iirc
so Revan's reading up on Jedi military history, and these Jedi seem to fully support war, but only when it benefits the Senate. and suddenly it seems like the Order learned the entirely wrong lesson from Revan's crusade.
Revan happily chatting with the local Tuskens while Anakin seethes in the background! and Obi wan trying to figure out how they learned Tusken- are they friends with A'sharad and he didn't notice? did they take a language course that wasn't on their transcript for some reason? is that what they were doing all those late nights at the Archives? oh well, just another thing to add to the Weird Padawan bucket
as for some other arcs- imagine the Zygerria arc with Revan along for the ride. or if they were with Ghost on Umbara. Jabiim with Obi wan's "death" and the Padawan Pack. Ahsoka's trial, and Revan having Zayne flashbacks and realizing that this Council is just as willing as the old Council to throw a Padawan under the bus to please the Senate. how much extra trauma can we fit in there
Revan and Dooku both trying to manipulate each other! you're right, Dooku would absolutely love Revan, especially with the added Makashi-
anakin: my power has grown since the last time we met, count!!
dooku: i don't care about you. where is brin i want a proper duel
in which Revan is Dooku's Favorite Great Grandchild
revan: alignment-checks-disguised-as-persuasion-checks here i come
Revan gradually lore dropping at Dooku and waiting for him to figure it out!
revan, cold calling dooku mid battle: i once thought the same as you, in the foolishness of my youth... but in trying to save the galaxy, i only furthered its doom...
revan, via 3am holomail: the allure of the dark side holds that which you most desire eternally out of reach... you will never be powerful enough to be satisfied, and what will it cost you before you realize?
revan, throwing a paper airplane through dooku's window: i see doom whenever i close my eyes, and if sifo dyas was anything alike, he would surely be horrified by how you have twisted his visions to justify the slaughter of innocents.
revan, yelling across a battlefield: are you so blind as to see that your master never intended to rule alongside you? you are no more than a puppet to facilitate the war, and you delude yourself if you say you cannot see the strings!
dooku: kenobi what is wrong with your padawan
dooku, after figuring out the Revan Thing: ohhhh that's what's wrong with that kid :0
i'm cracking up at the mental image of Alek just kind of hanging out on his home planet, entirely unaware of Revan's Plotting and Scheming
revan: ah, master dooku. a pity you cannot see the truth.
alek, helping his dad carry potatoes to the market: this is my life now
Alek trying to figure out why he was reincarnated just to be a random villager, plus the slight learned helplessness with assuming the Jedi wouldn't want him anyways
Alek training with Dooku!!! yesss this is fantastic!! ooh and maybe this is during the Dark Acolyte era - Dark Quin is there, and Sora Bulq and Tol Skorr and Kadrian Sey, and Alek's hanging around in Dooku's house with a bunch of Fallen Jedi trying not think about the Revanchists. he's not quite as dark as he was as Darth Malak, but he never really recovered from being Malak either, and those 14 years he spent as a random villager are really pulling a lot of weight in the happy memories department.
Anakin immediately runs off to fight Alek, and Alek may currently be a child of average height, but he's still the same kid who was once slated to become the next Battlemaster and the best duelist of all the Revanchists. so Anakin jumps in intending to get a few whacks in and then rescue Revan, but suddenly he's being out-Djem-So'ed by this random 14 yr old??? and Obi wan shows up to help and they're *still* locked at an impasse with this random 14 year old mystery darksider.
for extra fun: Malak appears to use Makashi leading into Djem So (combination of brutal force + one handed precision), and he always seems to use a Makashi grip/stance. Anakin also uses Djem So, and since this is the Soresu Monster AU, depending how long he was training with Dooku, Malak could very well become their Makashi Monster counterpart 👀
Alek sees a video with Revan standing silently in the background and of course he's going to jump to the worst conclusions, and Revan sees Alek half submerged in the dark side wielding a red lightsaber at Dooku's side and also jumps to the worst conclusions, and now Anakin is standing there equal parts upset and confused while Revan and Alek curl up on the floor crying. Obi wan's trying to figure all this out because *someone* needs to be the responsible adult here. Dooku's putting a whole lot of puzzle pieces together all at once, between Revan bothering him 24/7 and this mystery village kid who's casually firing off force lightning and is way too good with a lightsaber and apparently knows Revan, and *is that kid Darth Malak*???
(imagine Dooku calling up Jocasta's old comm number like "hello i know you hate me now but please help, obi wan is training Darth Revan and i was training Darth Malak, jocasta what do i do???")
Revan's initial reaction to the clones is "you cloned jango WHO NOW???". and then after that sinks in then they get to process the whole senate-mandated slave army situation, that these clones were created for the sole purpose of Winning Wars, and (after the Slick situation) clones who stray from that purpose get imprisoned or executed, and there's no plans for keeping them around afterwards which means they'll probably be discarded once they're done Winning Wars. and reminds Revan far too much of their own situation, how they molded themself into a weapon for the sole purpose of Winning Wars to the point they struggle with self-worth when not defined by Winning Wars.
on the other hand, if the war even progresses to that point in the first place, Revan hearing about the Fives arc might just be enough to find the inhibitor chips
So @redbean-nom has some excellent clone wars Revan AUs, that you should absolutely go read, and i decided to follow their example, two clone wars Revan AUs be upon ye! Both of these are based on the idea they were reborn and landed in the temple creche much like last time.
Version 1, Revan is roughly Anakin's age and so is present when Anakin arrives at the temple and swiftly kicks them off the pedestal of most special strongest baby jedi. Some more aware masters are concerned that this attention now shifting to Anakin might lead to jealousy, and Revan does consider it, but then decides that actually this slaps. Not having everyone's attention on them constantly is awesome, both from just a personal perspective and because it allows them to get up to so much shit on the down low. 9 year old Revan gets to meddling in galactic affairs, ironically drawing Sidious' attention instead, who decides that having twoooo overpowered children to groom is a great idea. He can always have one kill the other when he decides which one's better. Shenanigans ensue. (Potentially including Quinlan Vos cause I love him and also I think he'd be veeeeery interested in a tiny Revan shoving their fingers into everything, but I'm not sure when exactly Aayla was knighted. Maybe Tholme gets involved, that might be fun.)
Version 2, Revan is roughly (or a bit less than) Ahsoka's age (and thus also present at the temple when Anakin arrives but is even smaller). When Ahsoka gets assigned to Anakin the council decides to assign Revan to Obi-Wan, cause well, you did such a good job with the one overpowered child, we might as well give you the other one we still have lying around. Meanwhile Obi-Wan looks at this kid, about as different from Anakin as you could possibly be, and just goes ???? They are extremely quiet, dislike being perceived, are very ahead in their academic studies, and though they are shockingly good at lightsaber combat seem to process training more as punishment than reward. The only thing they could be said to have in common is being weirdly obsessed with droids. They are also concerningly good at war, to the point where he checks if they were in a similar situation as he was at 14, but as far as he can tell they've been at the temple basically their entire life. Shenanigans ensue, including Obi-Wan doing his damnest to figure out what is wrong with his new Padawan and how to help them, Anakin trying to bond with his new Padawan sibling and being painfully rebuffed while trying to raise his own new and entirely unexpected kid, Ahsoka getting more and more annoyed by this weird kid she's trying to befriend, and Revan trying to keep it together while being put into yet another war that is even more sus and they just need to figure out what the fuck this is and how to fix it since that is clearly why they are here now. There will probably be tears and actual bonding eventually.
Alek's probably also here for both cause I love him, but I don't have a specific idea for now. Not sure if he's even at the temple, maybe he shows up latre for dramatic effect.
v1: revan absolutely loves just having anakin around because that means that, for literally the first time in their entire life, they *don't have to be the Chosen One!!* someone else is taking a shift as the chosen one and they just get to do whatever they want without a bunch of Masters breathing down their neck about saving the galaxy! they finally get a normal childhood!
sidious is sitting there cackling because hey look, *two* insanely powerful children, neither of whom are exactly staunchly light side! i could def see him wanting to train both of them and then have them fight over who gets to be his apprentice (unfortunately for him the children have unionized)
although it would also be kind of sad-but-funny going the other direction in which palps is maybe a little too good at the 'you can trust me :))) i am a Safe Adult for you to talk to for support :)))' act. and then he ends up with the galaxy's most traumatised child (12 yr old revan) traumadumping in his office.
palps: you can always talk to me if you need help :)
revan: i'm a reincarnated ex-sith lord and i'm terrified of losing my sense of self again and i think i'm still hallucinating and everyone i know and love is dead and i made my best friend into a monster and then killed him and the entire galaxy's problems are all my fault and i'm terrified i'm going to conquer the galaxy again but i'm even more terrified of the pressure of saving it and i thought i was free when skywalker showed up but i cant escape the looming dread of destiny and i just want to have a normal life but im struggling with overwhelming guilt and i cant even talk to a mindhealer because im still scared of the mindwipe and i cant tell whats real. are you real? am i?? is this all still a hallucination?? who am i?????
palps: ......um i think i may be in over my head
also lol 9 yr old revan meddling in galactic affairs. i'm just imagining Tiny Revan investigating damask holdings and plageuis in the background like ????
palps: my lord there is a nine year old jedi child demanding federal investigation of your involvement in cortosis mining rights disputes with the trade federation
plageuis: i'm sorry did you say a nine year old
tiny revan shoving their fingers in everything!! so true. mace and yoda won't even have time to deal with the skywalker headache because revan's busy causing ten times more problems in half the time
ki adi mundi: master windu, young skywalker was caught sneaking out to participate in illegal pit races
mace: brin is petitioning the senate for a referendum on trade federation oversight. they snuck out of the temple yesterday and i just found them leading a twenty thousand strong protest in the streets of the senate district. i don't care what skywalker does.
i wonder if mace and yoda would be much better prepared for dealing with anakin's visions if they've already spent the past fifteen years with revan having visions of galactic doom every tuesday
based on tholme i'm assuming you've read the republic comic? given that quin fell to the dark side and got mindwiped during aayla's training (and then aayla fell. and quin fell another couple times over the years) revan would definitely have a lot of Feelings about him! tholme is also an expert at de-sithifying quin & would probably be a good influence for revan
may i suggest a'sharad hett for potential shenanigans :)
v2: tiny baby revan! lol "might as well give you the other one we have lying around"
honestly i've written so many variations of mace as revan's tcw master that i never even considered obi wan but this is fantastic!
"being weirdly obsessed with droids" obi wan goes into this whole thing expecting "weirdly obsessed with droids" to mean building protocol droids and tinkering with astromechs based on his experienced with anakin, only to find mini revan holed up in the workshop building an army of assassin droids
i mean... to be fair they were in a similar situation as far as "separated from the jedi order in the middle of a warzone" goes, except in revan's case it was self inflicted (ran away from the order (and also the cops) in order to jump headfirst into a warzone)
uh oh throwing tiny padawan revan into tcw can't end well, what with their "must singlehandedly fix war and save galaxy" neurosis. obi wan's going to wake up to revan having run off to kill dooku themself-
i also don't have an idea for alek but i did read a fic where alek got reincarnated, but instead of (re)joining the jedi he got adopted by padme and got into politics instead! palpatine is beset on all sides by mini Padawan Revan and tiny Senate Intern Alek
now that i think about it i'm pretty sure revan was using (or at least planning to use) soresu on the flagship duel??
like. it's blurry but is the obi wan soresu stance not just a one handed version of this ox guard
revan's generally agreed to be a niman master, but based on the brief clip of the flagship duel they also like incorporate a lot of makashi and soresu into their personal style (which also makes sense with niman's adaptability). kreia notes that soresu is effective "facing many opponents with blasters".... like mandalorians perhaps? or battle droids? obi wan's soresu specialty + dooku's lineage + revan already having a preference for makashi and soresu = the deadliest master padawan duo in the entire war (and on top of that, revan's charisma + force powered language skill + liberal use of force persuasion would compliment obi wan's negotiations quite nicely)
Alright so, now I have some time to write my thoughts down cause yesssss!!
Version independent: I am working off the assumption that Revan remembers being Revan but no one else knows. (Also this got so long I will put my comments on the Soresu Monster AU into a different post)
Version 1: Well first of all I have to admit that I have in fact not read those comics (though I intend to fix that) I know Tholme mainly from absorbing information through other people, but that does sound even more perfect than I imagined. Proper Shadow Revan is just cool I think and playing into that with everything else around Quinlan and Tholme sounds very fun. Also I have read so much Wookiepedia now my head hurts. But! I also know about the Quinlan mindwipe situation. So yeah, awesome, may elaborate on this later once i actually have a look at the source material for that.
Also I have split this version further into two subversions, henceforth to be known as v1a and v1b. V1a, Alek is along for the ride and arrives at the temple much like in the kotor timeline a few years after Revan. It's a very violent first meeting between two six year olds to the point that the council is considering some drastic measures, despite Revan at this point also being special project baby. Before they come to a conclusion however both Revan and Alek have suddenly become not only friendly but inseparable. It is decided that was a weird fluke of child emotions and to just have an eye on both of them for the time being. Unbeknownst to them, Revan and Alek simply yelled at each and threw tiny six year old fists enough to work it out between them, and now they are the only ones who remember, the only ones who understand, and more codependent than ever. They are also however better at hiding it. Mostly.
Point being, that when Anakin shows up Alek is already there and therefore immediately joins in on Revan's new shenanigans, making them much more efficient at being a weird child activist who keeps getting information they really shouldn't have, but it also makes them much more emotionally stable. Codependent they may be, but they are not alone. They have their best friend, they have something to hang onto. So when Palpatine shows his face and goes 'Uuuuh another weird powerful child, don't mind if I do' they are stable enough not to fall for his bullshit. And in turn, they see what he is doing to Anakin, and they also see that Anakin is kinda struggling. And after like a year they finally decide to go fuck it and take pity on this kid. Leading to Anakin coming back to his Master one day, extremely proud because he made a friend. And Obi-Wan, still completely in over his head with the whole Padawan thing is so fucking relieved and he goes 'Oh that's nice, good job Anakin! Who is it??' and then it's that weird fucking kid who's been repeatedly breaking out of the temple and into restricted sections of the archive to do force knows what. Political actvisim apparently. And he can just feel the angry stares he's going to get from the council in the foreseeable future. But he also does not want to ruin this for Anakin, the boy needs friends, even if they're... That. Anakin spends the next few years getting dragged into learning politics and diplomacy in some very hands on and not child friendly ways (though Revan and Alek keep him out of the worst of it). Also yeah I fully agree when he runs off to do his own teenage rebellions the council cannot be fucking bothered, fine, do some racing, but force sake please stay out of parliament for at least a week while try and deal with whatever your friends are fucking around with right now. We have so many complaints from senators lying around who had investigations started into them that Brin provoked, the chancellor keeps asking to have tea with them over it, and somehow they still manage to get past the guard and we have no idea how. At this point just don't break your neck and we're fine. (I adore that scene you painted with Mace Windu, what a visual)
He also has someone to actually talk with about his teenage horny hormones so he can be a little less weird to Padmé later. Only a little. Revan calls the boys both whores and fucks off to do some swoop racing instead. It also means waaaaay later, revenge of the sith, Anakin has someone to confide in when he starts having visions of Padmé dying because well. That is just Tuesday for Revan. I don't even think he'd bother with Yoda first, he's just going to his buddy over this. And said buddy squints at him. Considering. And then ends up telling him that visions don't usually work so explicitly, tells him to ask Padmé to take him to her next gynecologist appointment and then gives him a bunch of reading homework on force visions and also human pregnancy. Come back if that doesn't help. He's not happy about it but it's a plan of action so he grumpily takes his new reading work and leaves. And as soon as he's out of the door Alek on the other couch turns to Revan and goes "So someone's fucking with him, right?" "Most likely, yes." Which in turn leads to them both finally digging up Sidious. (If they haven't already. I am undecided, there's lots of fun ideas there) And aaaall of that leads me to the fact that yes indeed, when Sidious finally tries to pull his trump card to play Revan and Anakin against each other, he finds the children have unionized. Even funnier if that is still when they're Padawans and don't even clock his attempt at manipulation as sith bullshit. Anakin's just confused and thinks maybe the nice Chancellor just doesn't know Revan that well and is concerned and starts assuring him that Revan is not actually trying to make him look bad to the masters, and Revan thinks he's a weird creep being a weird creep.
Aside from all that there is also the question of Masters. I really do enjoy Shadow Revan so I am still eyeing Tholme for them. To be expanded on at a later time. As for Alek, there is Cin Drallig for the poetry of it, but. There is one other idea that I think would be hilarious. Which is if Mace Windu takes him. He decides that if he can't keep an eye on either of his main headaches, because one is the Anakin problem and the other got snatched up by the Shadows so fast he could barely blink about it, then he can at least do it via proxy. And the boy does seem like he could use the help, he's talented and he's driven but he does, as the gamers put it, tend to tilt. I think Alek could be so cool with Vaapad. Add some angst through that if Revan was trying to set it up so Drallig would take him and then gets completely blindsided by Windu asking first and Alek accepting and then getting scared of losing their friend again but in the other direction. But overall I think this timeline will lean more comedic than angsty. Chaos gremlins are on the loose and fucking everyone's shit up.
V1b, Alek never shows up. (Because he's not around for other reasons yet to be determined) Revan is waiting for it, is dreading it as much as they long for it, but time he came to the temple in their first life comes and goes, and he never shows up. They're completely alone. And for a while they just break. The Masters naturally have no idea what the fuck is wrong, they just seee a small child who got more and more worked up over something and just crashes out of nowhere. And they try their best, they suspect maybe its related to their visions, and so they comfort them and try to teach them that visions are fickle things and not all of them come true, for better or worse but none of them have chance to understand what the actual problem is, and Revan is absolutely not telling anybody. And so eventually they just nod, and say "yes master" and "I understand master" and they bury it all down, as deep as it will go where no one will ever see because they are alone, and they can't trust anybody. It makes them a lot more emotionally volatile and unstable but they are also very, very practiced in not letting anyone see that. And so when Anakin eventually shows up, getting some reprieve from the constant attention is nice and they absolutely use it to the fullest, but they never really have the moment of "Maybe i should help this kid in over his head". They never get any closer to Anakin and so they also don't get a headstart on realizing that Palpatine is a creepy weirdo. And so thats how we get the absolutely legendary idea of Revan finally cracking and trauma dumping to Darth Sidous of all people (for real, what an idea, thank you for that visual, that dialogue was so good) who is deeply confused and somewhat flashbanged but well. Once given some time to mull that over he is absolutely going to use that. I feel like it would make them both more interesting to him and more dangerous. Because while that does mean there is a lot of experience and skill in that kid and right now they are unbalanced and fucked up enough to be manipulatable, chances are that won't hold. Darth Revan as he knows about them would not tolerate being controlled. So he's starting to make plans of using them for all their worth and getting rid of them, probably by making Anakin kill them. Possibly by telling him they're Revan, implying that maybe the Council even knew, or if not they were blind enough to be infiltrated by one of the most infamous Sith Lords of all time.
Where does that go? Uncertain, but point being this is the much more angsty version of that story.
Alright, Soresu Monster thoughts in a separate post a bit later, but for now I have some more amazing lines from the wiki when i looked up A'Sharad Hett. (Fun guy, there are so many comics on list now sdfsf)
Tenebrous' enormous brain (yes the hyperlink does lead to an explanation what a brain is)
I died, but I got better, or alternatively, Somehow, Darth Krayt returned
Tholme is fantastic! he's an expert in de-sithifying people (has de-sithified both Quinlan and Aayla) as well as in handling visions (Quin's psychometry flashback visions) and in trauma informed training (Quin's evil great-aunt killed his parents and grandfather and then forced him to watch their deaths via psychometry in an effort to turn him to the dark side, and Quin's struggled with the dark side ever since). also Tholme's wife (T'ra Saa) is 900 yrs old and Mace Windu's Master and the two of them survived o66 together (and also rescued Quin and Quin's wife). and he once spent like a week living in Dooku's walls. very cool character all around and a great choice of Master for Revan
Shadow Revan!!! honestly yeah that suits them perfectly
v1a:
"just a weird fluke of childhood emotions" lol, the masters must be so bewildered
i'm just imagining Tiny Revan seeing Tiny Alek and immediately punching him in the face while both of them scream incoherently. and then someone goes to separate them and suddenly Revan's clinging to Alek and threatening to bite anyone who tries to take him away
does the immigration office fix Alek's surname situation this time around? bc i can't imagine how annoyed he'd be if he got reincarnated by the Force and is *still* stuck with Squinquargesimus. but also this time the name has an extra layer of emotion because Squinquargesimus-the-village has been gone for 4000 years, but its memory lives on in his name, and sometimes it's strangely nice having that reminder of his home planet.
(also wow I've spent way too long writing about Malak if i spelled that right twice in a row)
something about Revan and Alek trying to keep Anakin from Falling is so funny to me. they're sitting there furiously brainstorming because, while they excel at manipulating people *to* the dark side, neither of them has much experience at how to *stop* someone from Falling
revan: so uh. how do we do this again. i mean i fixed juhani and bastila, but redeeming an adult jedi who only briefly Fell is a lot different from a kid who's been actively Falling for years
alek: idk?? reverse corrupt him and hope it cancels out??
does Anakin's path intersect with Padme a lot earlier? bc it would be really funny if aotc hits, he's assigned to guard Padme, and he entirely avoids the whole "seeing his crush after 10 years apart" because he, Revan, and Alek have been in an out of Senator Amidala's office bothering her about various political causes for the past decade
anakin, guarding padme: oh hi :) how'd your meeting with brin go last week?
the Council is fully Done with all of this. Mace cannot be bothered to care about Anakin when Those Two exist
tbh Revan (does not care whatsoever) and Alek (given his handling of the Jarael situation) are... def not the most useful people for Anakin to talk about his Feelings with.
on the other hand Revan is exactly the person to talk to about weird ominous visions! also, given Vitiate and all, Revan also has plenty of experience with recognizing when someone is possibly messing with visions
palpatine: you know, anakin, i'm worried that brin might be trying to make the council distrust you, maybe you should stay out of their schemes.... i'm just looking out for you.....
anakin: oh no brin is actually really nice! sometimes they come off as weird but that's just because they socialize differently :) maybe you should read up on autism? :)
palpatine: oh, by the way brin, i'm worried about anakin-
revan: ew stranger danger, i don't know you old man >:(
also windu training alek sounds delightful!!
v1b:
palps' search history immediately after the traumadump:
darth revan
darth revan holopedia
how does reincarnation work
mandalorian wars khan academy
old republic history crashcourse spacetube
darth revan holocron
galactic museum sith history
galactic museum revan special exhibit opening hours
how to make appointment with galactic museum curator
after an extensive meeting with the galactic museum's sith hall curator (probably under the guise of learning about how the republic handled the war) he's rather nervous because wait, if Darth Vitiate's mind control backfired and Revan managed to reverse-mind-control him for 300 years while being actively tortured the whole time, what's to say the same won't happen to him? oh no maybe tiny Revan is reverse-mind-controlling *him* (they aren't but now Palpatine is scared)?? oh no oh no there hasn't been any need for any Sith in the past 1000 years to learn specific anti-Sith Force measures; Palpatine only knows how to cloud Jedi access to the Force! meanwhile Revan's entire career revolved around fighting a Sith Emperor of a very similar skillset as Palpatine- cue Palps taking a trip to the Sith worlds to consult some ghosts and holocrons
Revan is famously weirdly trusting for a Sith, even compared to some of the other Fallen Jedi. how do you get betrayed by two separate Sith in two separate occasions?? so of course Palpatine is halfway between rejoicing that of all the reincarnated Sith lords to show up crying on the floor of his office, it's the one who's quite famously 1) incredibly powerful 2) military genius 3) weirdly trusting 4) incredibly emotionally unstable and liable to switch sides at the slightest provocation, and despairing because they're also the one who is equally famously 5) really good at resisting manipulation and mind control 6) also really good at secretly manipulating other people
so now Palpatine's weighing his options between "literally everything he wants in an apprentice" vs "spending the rest of his life worrying that he's being manipulated somehow". if he gets Revan to conquer the galaxy for/with him, would there ever be any way for him to tell if it's really *his* empire, or is Revan just shadow puppeting him around? would he be secure in knowing he's the Emperor, or would he live in fear that he's really just a figurehead for whatever Revan's doing?? oh kriff is this whole thing an act?? is Revan trying to signal they know he's a Sith?? are they trying to recruit *him*??? what if everything goes to plan but then Anakin fails and Revan reveals that this is all part of *their* plan and depose Palpatine and recruit Anakin as *their* apprentice instead-
Palpatine grew up hearing about the legend of Darth Revan and is now feeling rather threatened. he's not used to having to worry about Sith competition!!
so Palpatine's priorities immediately switch from "Enact the Sith Plan" to "figure out what the kriff is Revan's whole deal and hope they aren't trying to hijack the Sith Plan". maybe he even puts the Clone Wars plan on hold because oh kriff he does *not* want to hand Revan the Republic fleet on a silver platter before he figures out what they're trying to achieve. cue a few years of Palpatine being constantly paranoid and trying feel out how much Revan knows about the whole Sith Plan situation (they have no clue at all)
it seems likely that the clone chips were designed to respond to the Supreme Commander and not necessarily Palpatine specifically (because there's also a decoy order to execute the Chancellor), so Palps seizing control of the army was partially to initiate the chip plan. so on top of everything Palpatine has to be absolutely sure Revan's not going to reveal their identity when the war starts, because if they do then they're obviously going to get handed the Supreme Commandership. because well, even the Chancellor can't exactly say no to the most successful Supreme Commander and War Hero of All Time offering to take command of the fleet in the middle of a war. maybe Geonosis gets pushed back a few years because Palpatine wanted to be absolutely sure that Revan's not going to run off with the fleet and go "sike it's my Sith Empire now". which means that Anakin's situation already had time to cool off and Palpatine's stressed and trying to juggle the Revan stuff and the Anakin stuff and also the Dooku stuff, and okay maybe the Rule of Two was a good idea if only because managing the emotional demands of one ex-Sith Lord, one burgeoning Sith Lord, and one current Sith Lord all at once is frankly exhausting
meanwhile Palpatine is being very careful to not be an obviously creepy weirdo, because Revan has a much better eye for that kind of stuff than Anakin. so maybe Revan ends up considering Palpatine a friend, and the creepy old man grooming angle doesn't even cross their mind, because not counting the stasis they're only like three years younger than Palpatine in terms of years of life lived (and also they have a history of befriending the most random people. see: quest for the star forge) so by the time the clone wars start, you have paranoid-but-cautiously-optimistic Palpatine, and Revan who has spent the past ten years unloading all their trauma on Palpatine the Impromptu Sith Therapist.
idk how tcw plays out, because now Palpatine has to work around all of Revan's issues, but either way Palpatine is significantly more stressed and Revan is just kind of hanging out on Palpatine's office couch talking to Malak-hallucinations
also yes A'sharad is fantastic! he's around as a Tusken in the 1998 comic iirc, Jedi in Republic comic, and Krayt in Legacy/Legacy War; it's kind of funny how he's actually a Really Good Jedi with a remarkably healthy attitude towards death.
and then it takes a hundred years, three wars, two genocides, two exiles, and years of torture to fully turn him, but once he Falls he's also a Really Good Sith. kind of like the opposite of Revan (flips between weirdly aggressive Jedi and weirdly nice Sith in the blink of an eye)
also! Krayt learned how to self-resurrect (via possessing his own body and then regrowing it) by combining a few Sith powers he learned from Muur's ghost in the Legacy Vector arc! Zayne directly shaped the course of galactic history all the way up to 138 aby!
thinking more about @adozentothedawn's Soresu Monster Tiny Revan- i feel like anakin's jealousy would start flaring up the moment it becomes obvious that revan is Better Than Him At Something. they're the Negotiator's ridiculously charismatic padawan; those two combined can talk anyone into doing anything for them. they're the Soresu Master's incredibly talented Soresu Monster. they're a once-in-a-milennia strategic genius with decades of experience leading wars, though as far as the Jedi know, they just arrived like that. they practically glow in the Force, but in a "normal" way like Master Yoda, not a "scary" way like Anakin's half-force-eldritchness.
they're better than him at being Obi Wan's Perfect Padawan, they're better at war than the Hero With No Fear, the masters sense their Force presence and start asking if there can be two Chosen Ones. they're quiet and studious and good at everything, smart with a perfect memory and laser focus, disciplined with their training, compassionate and empathetic, the model of non-attachment. they don't lose control of their anger like he does. they're the Perfect Jedi and the Perfect Padawan and they won't even talk to him.
but of course, Anakin doesn't see the underlying trauma- Revan is the Perfect Jedi because they're deathly terrified what will happen if they aren't! they let themself slip once and almost destroyed the Order and the galaxy as a Sith Lord; they *can't* slip. they *won't*. so here they are putting all the pressure on themself to remain the Perfect Jedi. they *have* to be good at war because otherwise everyone dies. they *have* to reject their anger because otherwise they become a full-blown Sith Lord. they *have* to be the silver tongued soresu monster because they spent so long seeing people as tools and convenient pawns, including themself, and what are they if not a weapon? their job is Winning Wars; they don't know how to do anything else. they compartmentalize, just like they forced themself to be Revan the symbol, the Revanchist Leader, because they can't afford weakness, not when everyone's lives are on the line.
everyone always tells them how fitting a Padawan they are for Obi wan, how they're so well-behaved and so mature, with the quiet implication that Anakin wasn't, that finally Obi wan has a padawan who actually makes sense for him, and wasn't just foisted on him by his dying Master. Anakin starts to resent them for it, because how dare they take away his Master *and be better than him at it too*? and meanwhile Revan's standing there getting showered with compliments from Senators about how great it is that finally The Negotiator has such a diplomatically talented apprentice, and the thing is, they were never naturally a well-behaved kid. they were impulsive and goofy and arrogant and headstrong, and then the old Council decided that they needed to be programmed into compliance, that they were too uncontrollable to deserve autonomy. and even though they broke through everything they're still terrified of it happening again. rationally they know this Council would probably be horrified by the mindwipe, but there's still that lingering fear that they'll lose everything again if they're not deemed Good Enough. sometimes they get away with secret scouting missions and under-the-table operations, but the surface has to stay pristine.
(for an added layer, there's also Obi wan: "A phenomenal pilot who doesn’t like to fly. A devastating warrior who’d rather not fight. A negotiator without peer who frankly prefers to sit alone in a quiet cave and meditate".)
just. Revan finally processing all the trauma in their first life, all while accumulating a new round of war trauma and also being in the blast zone of Anakin's trauma.
I was just writing down my thoughts on the other post but yeah fuck you're so right... They would fuck each other up so badly. And also, I think Revan would be probably even more distant to him than everyone else. Potentially even downright mean at times, because they can tell something is up. They don't know what, they don't know why, but they can tell he's teetering on an edge and that bites hard into their own trauma and insecurities. They can tell that he's dancing around with the Dark, but no one else does, and for some reason he barely gets a slap on the wrist anytime he fucks up. It doesn't feel like that to him, but that's what Revan's getting from it. Revan who is absolutely mind numbingly terrified of having everything taken from again, who doesn't dare put a toe over the line for fear of being entirely unmade, who is alone and needs to fix this and here is Anakin, who's clearly having something with the Senator of Naboo, who keeps dicking around at his own pleasure and all the reaction is Mace Windu glaring it him and their now shared master giving him a look of disappointment for a while. Anakin who is tall as fuck, who means well, who wants to save people, and who is running headfirst into corruption. And they cannot bring themselves to try and deal with him. They can't. And really maybe that's for the best anyway, maybe they would just make it worse anyway. Like last time.
And Anakin of course doesn't see any of that, how could he, all he sees is this weird kid who's taking his place and who keeps rejecting each of his attempts to be an adult about it, is really a complete asshole to him, and no one seems to see it.
(I do have something in mind that would slap as a catharsis moment, but more on that in the other post)
On a slightly less angsty note, I think, given all I know about the Jedi Apprentice series, Obi-Wan has a fighting chance of figuring out at least the general shape of the problem, if given half a piece of the puzzle. Not the whole Revan thing, but the bit of 'I am burying everything I am to be the perfect Jedi because I am terrified of what will happen if I'm not.' Revan slips one time, they're tired as all fuck, everything hurts, and they bite something at him when he tells them to get to the medbay, only to immediately freeze up in sheer animal panic. Or maybe it's just a small admission, quiet and sad, about how they wish they could just stop for a while. It would tie him wonderfully into the horrible trauma circle honestly.
But, I said less angsty, so we're getting over that for the moment, and Obi-Wan to take a slightly unorthodox approach to this problem, which basically amounts to desensitisation therapy. First of all he just turns up the snark in random situations. Just to try and take out some of the pressure. A lot of Jedi masters become victims of some biting sarcasm and toe curling puns. The other plan is to have a terribly important but not Padawan friendly mission at some point, and oh Quinlan, would you mind taking care of them for a few days? Definitely do not do anything illegal. Kay thanks bye. And Quinlan 'laws are a suggestion' Vos looks at this kid and goes 'oh kriff yeah hope you're prepared for an adventure, buddy, cause we're gonna have so much fun and none of it will be council approved.' Revan spends the next few days getting dragged from one chaos situation to another, and at the end of all that they get handed back to Obi-Wan, frazzled and wide-eyed and probably still too high on adrenaline to be really scared, but either way he just looks at them and goes 'i see this went down exactly as I expected. Hope you had fun' ruffles their hair and just nothing else happens. That's it, that's the end of the consequences. Revan decides maybe. Just maybe. They can trust him with a little more. Not everything. But just a bit. And Anakin gets the joy of seeing Perfect Padawan Brin (last name to be added cause I don't like the one I originally used) looking like a loth cat who just came in from Kamino.
okay but Revan knowing they have a history of dragging everyone else down with them- they're the only Sith Lord in history to Fall surrounded by loving friends and family! they brought enough people with them to the dark side to fill out the ranks of an entire old-style Sith Order! and so they see Anakin's darkness, and they push him away as hard as they can, because they don't want to risk being the one to drag him over the edge.
and yes absolutely to the slap on the wrist- Anakin can run off on personal sidequests against the Council's orders, imperial march playing ominously in the background while he kills everything in his path, and when he gets back he just gets an angry lecture from Yoda. versus when Revan did that, they got effectively banished from the Order!
they see Anakin charging down the same path they did, but the Jedi treat him with so much more understanding and compassion than they were ever afforded. Anakin's complaining about the Council being mean and overbearing, and Revan wants to tell him just how good he has it; they see the Council going to lengths they couldn't even dream of to support Anakin, and him just blowing them off. he has one scary vision and Yoda himself stops by to give some well-meaning advice; Revan had years of visions of galactic annihilation and Vrook yelled at them to get out of the Council chamber!
so they stay away.
Obi wan recognizes the signs, and he wonders if they were abandoned or abused before the Jedi found them, because he can't think of any other reason why they freeze up whenever he disagrees with their choices. he notices that they react that way to any authority figure, especially the Council, so he makes it a point to bicker with random Masters when Revan is around in hopes it signals that they're safe. he mentions on a mission that surely the Council will understand if he does something without their approval. he takes them out to raise money via Force-assisted gambling with a whispered "don't tell Yoda". and then one day Obi wan gets hit with the realization that *oh no he's turning into Qui gon*. but at least their padawan is acting a little less like a kicked puppy so there's that.
i can def see Quin/Tholme/the Shadows filling the role of Safe Adult Who Doesn't Exactly Answer To The Council who Revan can be a little more comfortable around. seeing Quin break five federal laws, jump off a building, and threaten a bunch of underworld thugs is surprisingly effective reassurance that the Council isn't going to yell at them for being anything less than the picture perfect diplomat.
and Tholme offhandedly mentioning the five different times he's dragged Quin and Aayla out of the dark side, and how he talked Quin through confronting his inner darkness. and Revan just has an "oh" moment because the best-case ex-Sith redemption they've heard of was Ulic getting cut off from the Force (and of course the worst-case is the mindwipe), and the prospect of a Master actually taking the time and effort to guide someone back to the light *in a non destructive/non traumatic* way?? and suddenly their entire perspective shifts, because logically they know the modern Order is different, but this is the first real evidence that the Order really is more forgiving. Quin's Fallen multiple times, and each time his Master goes to find him and help him back, and then the Order just... accepts him? and he's trusted and reinstated as a Master? and most crucially, he *didn't have to prove his usefulness to be worth it*. he didn't have to save the galaxy and be the Ultimate Paragon of Light, they just accepted him and helped him recover.
on that note, if this is mid-tcw then Quin's already gone through his mindwipe right? maybe he mentions his mindwipe and how Tholme helped him through recovery + therapy, and revan's like :0
The first scheme of future Darth Revan and Darth Malak.
Or: Pov, you're a Jedi creche master and you're realizing that the next decade and a bit is going to be very, very long.
For the record, this does have a story. They are six years old and met and befriended each other like a week ago. They go out to a pond in the temple gardens and Revan very dramatically announces they have to show Alek something and steps up to the pond, only to then get zapped with a force vision and they just fall face first into the water. Alek meanwhile is very concerned and confused because his new friend just went "I need to show you something" and then just keeled over, so he's not sure if that was part of what they wanted to show him (it wasn't, it was frogs. they wanted to show him some cool frogs. And maybe tell him that Vander eats those.), but he does end up, smartly, deciding to pull them out. They're fine, but Revan is forbidden from going near the pond for like a year until the Masters are satisfied they can shield well enough to at least be able to not accidentally drown.
why is it that whenever i get hit with "you must gather your party before venturing forth", it's always canderous slowly jogging in circles half the planet away :/
thinking more about @adozentothedawn's Soresu Monster Tiny Revan- i feel like anakin's jealousy would start flaring up the moment it becomes obvious that revan is Better Than Him At Something. they're the Negotiator's ridiculously charismatic padawan; those two combined can talk anyone into doing anything for them. they're the Soresu Master's incredibly talented Soresu Monster. they're a once-in-a-milennia strategic genius with decades of experience leading wars, though as far as the Jedi know, they just arrived like that. they practically glow in the Force, but in a "normal" way like Master Yoda, not a "scary" way like Anakin's half-force-eldritchness.
they're better than him at being Obi Wan's Perfect Padawan, they're better at war than the Hero With No Fear, the masters sense their Force presence and start asking if there can be two Chosen Ones. they're quiet and studious and good at everything, smart with a perfect memory and laser focus, disciplined with their training, compassionate and empathetic, the model of non-attachment. they don't lose control of their anger like he does. they're the Perfect Jedi and the Perfect Padawan and they won't even talk to him.
but of course, Anakin doesn't see the underlying trauma- Revan is the Perfect Jedi because they're deathly terrified what will happen if they aren't! they let themself slip once and almost destroyed the Order and the galaxy as a Sith Lord; they *can't* slip. they *won't*. so here they are putting all the pressure on themself to remain the Perfect Jedi. they *have* to be good at war because otherwise everyone dies. they *have* to reject their anger because otherwise they become a full-blown Sith Lord. they *have* to be the silver tongued soresu monster because they spent so long seeing people as tools and convenient pawns, including themself, and what are they if not a weapon? their job is Winning Wars; they don't know how to do anything else. they compartmentalize, just like they forced themself to be Revan the symbol, the Revanchist Leader, because they can't afford weakness, not when everyone's lives are on the line.
everyone always tells them how fitting a Padawan they are for Obi wan, how they're so well-behaved and so mature, with the quiet implication that Anakin wasn't, that finally Obi wan has a padawan who actually makes sense for him, and wasn't just foisted on him by his dying Master. Anakin starts to resent them for it, because how dare they take away his Master *and be better than him at it too*? and meanwhile Revan's standing there getting showered with compliments from Senators about how great it is that finally The Negotiator has such a diplomatically talented apprentice, and the thing is, they were never naturally a well-behaved kid. they were impulsive and goofy and arrogant and headstrong, and then the old Council decided that they needed to be programmed into compliance, that they were too uncontrollable to deserve autonomy. and even though they broke through everything they're still terrified of it happening again. rationally they know this Council would probably be horrified by the mindwipe, but there's still that lingering fear that they'll lose everything again if they're not deemed Good Enough. sometimes they get away with secret scouting missions and under-the-table operations, but the surface has to stay pristine.
(for an added layer, there's also Obi wan: "A phenomenal pilot who doesn’t like to fly. A devastating warrior who’d rather not fight. A negotiator without peer who frankly prefers to sit alone in a quiet cave and meditate".)
just. Revan finally processing all the trauma in their first life, all while accumulating a new round of war trauma and also being in the blast zone of Anakin's trauma.
the main characters section lists Revan, Carth, Bastila, Jolee, Calo Nord (!!), Canderous, Malak, and the Sith (in that order). seems reasonable that there was supposed to be a choice between Calo or Canderous for one of the companion slots
the entire booklet keeps up the no pronouns for Revan thing (novel + swtor take notes)
Malak apparently covered up his betrayal and swore revenge on the Jedi for Revan's "death"
Revan kind of wiped out any lingering attention to Exar Kun by starting a new war and a new order of Fallen Jedi-turned-Sith
they felt the need to specify that the mechanic on Korriban is competent
neat Korriban description
Taris was pretty much abandoned after the Siege of Taris (sorry Zayne)
they misspelled Gamorreans. this may or may not be the same person as whoever was behind the Iridorian/Iridonian thing
the KOTOR guide says Revan is a Knight; the KOTOR 2 guide says Revan was a Master
this seems to imply Revan was a Knight when they left but a Master later on- either someone granted them the title mid-war (maybe when they became Supreme Commander?) or they're informally considered a Master bc of all the Padawans/younger Knights they trained
I think this is the only place they're referred to as a Master so I'm going to assume it was disputed by the Order- maybe one of the Masters who joined them or one of the local Councils granted them the title, but the Coruscant Council refused to certify it?
is this the first canonization of Revan's gender?
the Jedi Civil War is also referred to as the Old Republic Insurrection
"Malak lets the Jedi drag Revan from his throne" is certainly a Way to phrase it. he shot them in the head with a turbolaser
it also makes it sound like the Jedi actually won that duel?? they didn't have time to do anything other than stand there while Revan twirled their lightsaber ominously in Bastila's direction
this suggests Revan had other apprentices other than Malak (I guess in line with the implication that they were a maybe-not-Coruscant-approved Master at some point?)
maybe it's referring to the og learners from the beginning of the war? in which case it implies Ferroh is dead :(
personally I like to imagine that Ferroh tried to kill Malak (and lost) when he found out about the betrayal
the quest for the star maps is described thusly:
this specifies that *Darth* Revan killed Malak - DS ending canon to KOTOR 2????? are the Karpyshyn/Gaider endings LS Revan and the Obsidian ending is DS Revan????
typo (i mean. they were probably very mad)
Dxun is both a moon and a planet apparently. this is on the same page
cool art of Freedon Nadd:
Korriban according to the KOTOR guide is a "former power base of the Sith Order", while Korriban in the KOTOR 2 guide is the "nexus for [Revan's] Sith Empire", presumably until Malak's defeat
maybe they meant it was mostly the power base of the Sith during Revan's rule, and the capital switched to the Star Forge during Malak's rule, but the academy Sith stuck around?
i put bits of this in the tags but here's a cleaned up version:
LS male Canon Revan (Karpyshyn!Revan): was a Knight during the war, only trained Malak, somehow found the time to record a full holocron's worth of sith tutorials, rejoined the Jedi post-KOTOR, became a Master, married Bastila (and had Vaner), vanished into the Unknown Regions to fight the Vitiate!True Sith, was found by the Exile and T3, and went through the events of the novel + SWTOR. Star Forge destroyed but Revan squirreled a chunk of it away. LS female Exile.
LS female Revan (Gaider!Revan): was a Knight during the war, only trained Malak, left the Jedi post-KOTOR, presumably remained a Knight, and romanced Carth. Star Forge destroyed.
DS male Canon Revan (Avellone!Revan): was a Master during the war, possibly trained multiple apprentices, ruled the Sith post-KOTOR, vanished into the Unknown Regions to fight the Eldritch!True Sith, and was found by the Exile (unknown alignment/gender), HK, and T3. Star Forge dormant.
DS male #2 Canon Revan (Filoni!Revan): presumably was a Master during the war, possibly trained multiple apprentices, ruled the Sith post-KOTOR, left a (non-Lucas-approved, and therefore cut) Sith ghost that appeared on Mortis. probably the same character as Avellone!DS male Revan, though continuity is unclear without KOTOR 3 being released. Star Forge alive? Darth Tanis may or may not have been a DS female Exile.
the main characters section lists Revan, Carth, Bastila, Jolee, Calo Nord (!!), Canderous, Malak, and the Sith (in that order). seems reasonable that there was supposed to be a choice between Calo or Canderous for one of the companion slots
the entire booklet keeps up the no pronouns for Revan thing (novel + swtor take notes)
Malak apparently covered up his betrayal and swore revenge on the Jedi for Revan's "death"
Revan kind of wiped out any lingering attention to Exar Kun by starting a new war and a new order of Fallen Jedi-turned-Sith
they felt the need to specify that the mechanic on Korriban is competent
neat Korriban description
Taris was pretty much abandoned after the Siege of Taris (sorry Zayne)
they misspelled Gamorreans. this may or may not be the same person as whoever was behind the Iridorian/Iridonian thing
the KOTOR guide says Revan is a Knight; the KOTOR 2 guide says Revan was a Master
this seems to imply Revan was a Knight when they left but a Master later on- either someone granted them the title mid-war (maybe when they became Supreme Commander?) or they're informally considered a Master bc of all the Padawans/younger Knights they trained
I think this is the only place they're referred to as a Master so I'm going to assume it was disputed by the Order- maybe one of the Masters who joined them or one of the local Councils granted them the title, but the Coruscant Council refused to certify it?
is this the first canonization of Revan's gender?
the Jedi Civil War is also referred to as the Old Republic Insurrection
"Malak lets the Jedi drag Revan from his throne" is certainly a Way to phrase it. he shot them in the head with a turbolaser
it also makes it sound like the Jedi actually won that duel?? they didn't have time to do anything other than stand there while Revan twirled their lightsaber ominously in Bastila's direction
this suggests Revan had other apprentices other than Malak (I guess in line with the implication that they were a maybe-not-Coruscant-approved Master at some point?)
maybe it's referring to the og learners from the beginning of the war? in which case it implies Ferroh is dead :(
personally I like to imagine that Ferroh tried to kill Malak (and lost) when he found out about the betrayal
the quest for the star maps is described thusly:
this specifies that *Darth* Revan killed Malak - DS ending canon to KOTOR 2????? are the Karpyshyn/Gaider endings LS Revan and the Obsidian ending is DS Revan????
typo (i mean. they were probably very mad)
Dxun is both a moon and a planet apparently. this is on the same page
cool art of Freedon Nadd:
Korriban according to the KOTOR guide is a "former power base of the Sith Order", while Korriban in the KOTOR 2 guide is the "nexus for [Revan's] Sith Empire", presumably until Malak's defeat
maybe they meant it was mostly the power base of the Sith during Revan's rule, and the capital switched to the Star Forge during Malak's rule, but the academy Sith stuck around?
Who would win in a fight? READ TEXT BELOW OPTIONS BEFORE ANSWERING
Gollum
Yoda
Voting ended onJun 6, 2023
To make things fair, Yoda can’t use the force and Gollum does not have the ring: this is hand-to-hand combat. They’re on neutral turf unknown to both of them. The terrain is swampy, which is fair, because they’ve both got Swamp Experience. Neither can pull in allies (not that Gollum has any). Both have slept and eaten well before this. It’s a death match. Neither can bring weapons but weapons can be improvised from swamp materials. Both are inflamed by passion; each feels betrayed by the other
(Assuming TCW Yoda vs mid-LoTR Gollum) Objectively yoda is obviously the better fighter, but gollum has like three times as much relevant experience, and the removal of the ring/force adds in an interesting element:
For Yoda, use of the Force is present in pretty much everything. He uses it to jump (i think) sense stuff, dodge, etc. Losing the use of force would basically be like a normal human being suddenly going blind. On top of that, if he wasn't warned beforehand, he's probably majorly disoriented- imagine walking into an unfamiliar room, with a weird angry creature trying to bite you, and suddenly you can't see.
Meanwhile, Gollum losing the Ring doesn't affect his strength in the short term- in fact, it probably makes him stronger now that he's abandoned all self-preservation to regain the Ring. With or without a warning of its removal, the effects of the Ring still mean he's going to fight to the death over this without a second thought.
(Current situation: Yoda is effectively blinded and gollum is just Mad.)
Now onto their respective resumes:
Yoda's fighting style features a lot of evasive stuff followed up by popping out from under a tank or behind a droid. We rarely see him fight someone/something his own size, so I'll use Shadow Yoda from season 6 as a reference.
I haven't watched that arc in a while, but I'm pretty sure Yoda got bowled over like twice before he actually hit the shadow properly. Granted, he's also dealing with weird sith stuff and self discovery/doubt, but his initial approach to fighting is not very effective against an equally agile little guy.
Gollum, meanwhile, has a good deal of canonical fighting experience against equally-sized opponents, including experience without the Ring. He strangled Deagol, hunted goblins (aka small orcs), and fought Frodo + Sam on Mt Doom. These three references imply a good deal of versatility in his attacks (ambush, active hunting, fairly straightforward fight).
He is, of course, an ambush predator, and a fairly successful one at that: (following Frodo & Sam in the river, sneaking around Mordor, all without the Ring). Now normally this wouldn't be much help against Yoda of all people. But. As established earlier, Yoda doesn't have the Force, and is possibly disoriented and definitely not used to listening for things without their force signatures (the merits of his oversized ears in this situation can be debated) meaning Gollum could potentially sneak up on him, at least for the first second or two.
Fighting style aside, let's look at their individual fighting:
Yoda minus Force Enhancement has: green skin for better camouflage in a swamp, sharp teeth, probably carnivorous (given baby yoda) and likely has small-swamp-critter hunting experience, claws, huge ears (better hearing?), presumably diurnal adapted vision (since he has round pupils) and tridactyl feet (i think some birds have these?)
Gollum minus Ring has: Hobbit Stealth (probably how he sneaks around), Hobbit Sharp Eyesight/Aim (see:bilbo), sharp teeth, definitely carnivorous/piscivorous, small-pond-critter hunting experience, webbed feet (good for swimming), nocturnal adapted vision.
Camouflage wise they're about even, with Yoda having a potential edge in close combat situations surrounded by Swamp Greens.
Teeth wise, Gollum will bite and Yoda can. Both catch and eat slimy swamp/cave pond critters and presumably have significant biting experience on smaller creatures.
Senses-wise, Yoda is likely disoriented but his ears/just generally being closer to hobbit size probably afford enough of a benefit to counteract Gollum's Hobbit Sneakiness after a second or so of adapting to it. If we're assuming this is a Dagobah-esque swamp it's probably reasonably dark, so the Sun isn't actively burning Gollum's eyes. So during the day, Yoda has a slight advantage, and during the night, Gollum has a reasonably significant advantage, as he can apparently see in complete darkness (see: bilbo describing gollum's cave)
Feet wise, Yoda has what look kind of reptilian? feet, so he's probably reasonably well off in a swamp. However, the toes are all individual and he doesn't have a tail or something for swimming, so Yodas are probably not amphibious species. Gollum on the other hand has webbed feet adapted for swimming in ponds/rivers, though he does appear to prefer using a boat, meaning the rest of him probably hasn't caught up with amphibious feet. Both of them walk around shoeless, so suffice to say their feet are reasonably well adapted for natural terrain.
Size wise, the average height of a hobbit is 3'6" (see: Concerning Hobbits) and Yoda is 2'10" I think. Assuming Gollum is not a notably tiny hobbit, he has around 8 inches on Yoda, which is pretty significant when Yoda is only 34 inches total. So Gollum has a 20% height advantage and a significant malnourishment disadvantage, because eating only cave fish and goblins for 400? years can't be good for him.
Now about weapons and technology.
Neither can bring weapons, but they can make them, as per the original post's rules. So lightsabers are not an option, since I'm going to guess mechanical parts and kyber crystals are not found in swamps. (yay, no worrying about whether kyber crystals are a gollum repellant!)
So starting with Gollum this time, interestingly enough, he doesn't seem to have much in the way of tools/weapons in his cave or after his escape. He just kind of scuttles around biting things, no tools needed. (He does probably know how to at least maintain a likely goblin made boat, given he has one in his lake). However, he was born as Smeagol around TA2430 and hobbits were already sending archers to the Arnor sieges around the TA1800s-1900s, meaning rudimentary tool use in hobbit society developed at least 500 years before Smeagol's birth. Boats exist by Smeagol's 33rd birthday as well. So as an adult hunter/gatherer he definitely learned how to make basic tools (though what he remembers of this is unclear, since he barely remembered the sun during his cave days...)
Yoda is at a massive disadvantage here in that Star Wars is a very very heavily sci fi universe, where even random remote villages have droids helping build roofs and rural farmers have plasma blasters. Wookiees have blasters, ships, and radio transmitters, Which, of course, means that unless kid-Yoda did an internship with the Ewoks, he probably only knows stone tools and arrows from history books. While gollum can theoretically build himself a sword or bow (though he most likely would not and is definitely not an archer, or at least out of practice for a few centuries) Yoda can't make a lightsaber or blaster out of swamp grass. He can, however, apparently build a mud hut out of an escape pod.
Alright, strategy time.
Yoda would probably try to 1) figure out what exactly happened to him, what happened to the force, and where is his lightsaber then 2) attack. Based on his appearance in the 1st season and that one time when he got anakin to sneak him out of the medbay, Yoda is not exactly a sit-there-and-plan sort of fighter when pressed, though without Force guidance that strategy might not work as well.
Gollum is definitely capable of planning and using his strengths to his advantage. He likes to spy on people for a while (following Frodo & sam down the river) before approaching, so he'll probably try to figure out what yoda is and can do while Yoda tries to figure out what happened. I'm going to guess Gollum knows his night vision advantage, since he tried to sneak attack frodo, so he'll probably do that.
Without the force, yoda's probably going to be more on edge and actively aware, since he knows he can't rely on sensing intruders. It's a toss-up whether he notices gollum sneaking up before or after gollum gets in his face, but either way, his reflexes are much better than a starving mentally ill middle aged hobbit, and this likely would be where the main confrontation takes place.
So right now, Yoda is at a disadvantage if he can't see very well and has to rely on hand to hand, and Gollum has a reasonable advantage in that he can see perfectly well. Whether he uses bodies of water in his attack depends how desperate he is for the ring, but lets just say yoda does not live in a puddle and gollum cannot swim under him.
Fight wise, Yoda's hand to hand seems to be a lot of punching/wrestling and jumping, while Gollum is way more bitey and claw-ey. Gollum is also basically a free will ringwraith and is going to be willing to take a lot more hits than yoda, because he doesn't really care if he dies, all that matters is Precious. So Yoda is going to get bitten a bunch, Gollum will probably be attempted-punted but an elderly man trying to dropkick something 20% taller without Jedi Powers is not a great idea. On the other hand, Yoda's skin looks almost leathery so biting that may not be a good idea, though maybe biting fish scales is good enough of practice for biting reptilian green guys?
And this is where experience kicks in.
Sure, Yoda is 800something at the time, but most of it was likely not real life hand to hand fighting experience- the Sith haven't been around for about a thousand years, and the galaxy's experienced enough relative peace that the elderly Grandmaster was very likely not out biting the bad guys. He was definitely formally trained in hand to hand, sure, but it's like pitting an elderly taekwondo master against a neanderthal spear thrower who also bites. Even during the clone wars he spends most of his time in the temple meditating with master windu and giving (maybe-not-so-)sage advice. Meanwhile, Gollum is ~500, having spent the first part of his life as a possibly-nomadic (hobbit migration era, lived in burrows and not fancy bag end style furnished holes) hunter/gatherer (eating bird eggs & fish), the middle part living in a cave hunting and eating stray orcs, and the last part roaming Mirkwood and Mordor.
On top of that, Yoda is 800something for a species that seems to live 900something years, while Gollum, even without the Ring, is basically frozen as a bit past his prime (see: bilbo who didn't really age from 50 to 111).
Sure, Gollum doesn't really remember his Smeagol life, but in his current physical state he's basically a feral hobbit assassin. Absolutely terrible for fighting against someone with a plan or a good weapon, but Yoda doesn't exactly have time to plan and his only weapon would be a stick (which handles way differently from a lightsaber. combat useful sticks are heavy). Gollum, at this point, will go straight to biting and clawing faces off with the skill of someone who has spent the past 400 years biting and clawing faces off.
now, of course, if yoda can use force enhancement but just not force push, yeah, little wizard guy beats little feral guy.
tldr:
Yoda without force access is at a massive disadvantage because gollum is a fairly successful predator who has been biting people for 400 years. yoda has not.
So @redbean-nom has some excellent clone wars Revan AUs, that you should absolutely go read, and i decided to follow their example, two clone wars Revan AUs be upon ye! Both of these are based on the idea they were reborn and landed in the temple creche much like last time.
Version 1, Revan is roughly Anakin's age and so is present when Anakin arrives at the temple and swiftly kicks them off the pedestal of most special strongest baby jedi. Some more aware masters are concerned that this attention now shifting to Anakin might lead to jealousy, and Revan does consider it, but then decides that actually this slaps. Not having everyone's attention on them constantly is awesome, both from just a personal perspective and because it allows them to get up to so much shit on the down low. 9 year old Revan gets to meddling in galactic affairs, ironically drawing Sidious' attention instead, who decides that having twoooo overpowered children to groom is a great idea. He can always have one kill the other when he decides which one's better. Shenanigans ensue. (Potentially including Quinlan Vos cause I love him and also I think he'd be veeeeery interested in a tiny Revan shoving their fingers into everything, but I'm not sure when exactly Aayla was knighted. Maybe Tholme gets involved, that might be fun.)
Version 2, Revan is roughly (or a bit less than) Ahsoka's age (and thus also present at the temple when Anakin arrives but is even smaller). When Ahsoka gets assigned to Anakin the council decides to assign Revan to Obi-Wan, cause well, you did such a good job with the one overpowered child, we might as well give you the other one we still have lying around. Meanwhile Obi-Wan looks at this kid, about as different from Anakin as you could possibly be, and just goes ???? They are extremely quiet, dislike being perceived, are very ahead in their academic studies, and though they are shockingly good at lightsaber combat seem to process training more as punishment than reward. The only thing they could be said to have in common is being weirdly obsessed with droids. They are also concerningly good at war, to the point where he checks if they were in a similar situation as he was at 14, but as far as he can tell they've been at the temple basically their entire life. Shenanigans ensue, including Obi-Wan doing his damnest to figure out what is wrong with his new Padawan and how to help them, Anakin trying to bond with his new Padawan sibling and being painfully rebuffed while trying to raise his own new and entirely unexpected kid, Ahsoka getting more and more annoyed by this weird kid she's trying to befriend, and Revan trying to keep it together while being put into yet another war that is even more sus and they just need to figure out what the fuck this is and how to fix it since that is clearly why they are here now. There will probably be tears and actual bonding eventually.
Alek's probably also here for both cause I love him, but I don't have a specific idea for now. Not sure if he's even at the temple, maybe he shows up latre for dramatic effect.
v1: revan absolutely loves just having anakin around because that means that, for literally the first time in their entire life, they *don't have to be the Chosen One!!* someone else is taking a shift as the chosen one and they just get to do whatever they want without a bunch of Masters breathing down their neck about saving the galaxy! they finally get a normal childhood!
sidious is sitting there cackling because hey look, *two* insanely powerful children, neither of whom are exactly staunchly light side! i could def see him wanting to train both of them and then have them fight over who gets to be his apprentice (unfortunately for him the children have unionized)
although it would also be kind of sad-but-funny going the other direction in which palps is maybe a little too good at the 'you can trust me :))) i am a Safe Adult for you to talk to for support :)))' act. and then he ends up with the galaxy's most traumatised child (12 yr old revan) traumadumping in his office.
palps: you can always talk to me if you need help :)
revan: i'm a reincarnated ex-sith lord and i'm terrified of losing my sense of self again and i think i'm still hallucinating and everyone i know and love is dead and i made my best friend into a monster and then killed him and the entire galaxy's problems are all my fault and i'm terrified i'm going to conquer the galaxy again but i'm even more terrified of the pressure of saving it and i thought i was free when skywalker showed up but i cant escape the looming dread of destiny and i just want to have a normal life but im struggling with overwhelming guilt and i cant even talk to a mindhealer because im still scared of the mindwipe and i cant tell whats real. are you real? am i?? is this all still a hallucination?? who am i?????
palps: ......um i think i may be in over my head
also lol 9 yr old revan meddling in galactic affairs. i'm just imagining Tiny Revan investigating damask holdings and plageuis in the background like ????
palps: my lord there is a nine year old jedi child demanding federal investigation of your involvement in cortosis mining rights disputes with the trade federation
plageuis: i'm sorry did you say a nine year old
tiny revan shoving their fingers in everything!! so true. mace and yoda won't even have time to deal with the skywalker headache because revan's busy causing ten times more problems in half the time
ki adi mundi: master windu, young skywalker was caught sneaking out to participate in illegal pit races
mace: brin is petitioning the senate for a referendum on trade federation oversight. they snuck out of the temple yesterday and i just found them leading a twenty thousand strong protest in the streets of the senate district. i don't care what skywalker does.
i wonder if mace and yoda would be much better prepared for dealing with anakin's visions if they've already spent the past fifteen years with revan having visions of galactic doom every tuesday
based on tholme i'm assuming you've read the republic comic? given that quin fell to the dark side and got mindwiped during aayla's training (and then aayla fell. and quin fell another couple times over the years) revan would definitely have a lot of Feelings about him! tholme is also an expert at de-sithifying quin & would probably be a good influence for revan
may i suggest a'sharad hett for potential shenanigans :)
v2: tiny baby revan! lol "might as well give you the other one we have lying around"
honestly i've written so many variations of mace as revan's tcw master that i never even considered obi wan but this is fantastic!
"being weirdly obsessed with droids" obi wan goes into this whole thing expecting "weirdly obsessed with droids" to mean building protocol droids and tinkering with astromechs based on his experienced with anakin, only to find mini revan holed up in the workshop building an army of assassin droids
i mean... to be fair they were in a similar situation as far as "separated from the jedi order in the middle of a warzone" goes, except in revan's case it was self inflicted (ran away from the order (and also the cops) in order to jump headfirst into a warzone)
uh oh throwing tiny padawan revan into tcw can't end well, what with their "must singlehandedly fix war and save galaxy" neurosis. obi wan's going to wake up to revan having run off to kill dooku themself-
i also don't have an idea for alek but i did read a fic where alek got reincarnated, but instead of (re)joining the jedi he got adopted by padme and got into politics instead! palpatine is beset on all sides by mini Padawan Revan and tiny Senate Intern Alek
now that i think about it i'm pretty sure revan was using (or at least planning to use) soresu on the flagship duel??
like. it's blurry but is the obi wan soresu stance not just a one handed version of this ox guard
revan's generally agreed to be a niman master, but based on the brief clip of the flagship duel they also like incorporate a lot of makashi and soresu into their personal style (which also makes sense with niman's adaptability). kreia notes that soresu is effective "facing many opponents with blasters".... like mandalorians perhaps? or battle droids? obi wan's soresu specialty + dooku's lineage + revan already having a preference for makashi and soresu = the deadliest master padawan duo in the entire war (and on top of that, revan's charisma + force powered language skill + liberal use of force persuasion would compliment obi wan's negotiations quite nicely)
au of an au (zaynes fix it, courtesy of @adozentothedawn) in which Alek goes along with Zayne on Taris. they show up to the Tower, and the Covenant masters are already standing over the bodies, and it's a little too late for Lucien to backtrack now right? Alek yells for Zayne to run; Zayne jumps out the window while Alek fights.
and Alek's the Battlemaster's newly-knighted padawan, the best duelist of the generation, slated to become the next Battlemaster- but there's only so much he can do in close quarters against five masters. he was just about to leave for the first battle of the war; he's never seen real combat, and now he's backed up against the wall fending off five masters alone, hoping Zayne managed to escape, hoping that he fought well enough to buy time for Zayne to escape.
he's good enough to kill Q'anilia and Xamar. he's backed up against the wall with the blood of Jedi Masters on his hands while the surviving three masters fly into a blind rage.
Revan feels the terror over their bond and runs for the Tower. they're still too late, and they break down the door just in time to watch Lucien run Alek through with his lightsaber. they feel the hollowness of Alek's death in the Force the moment they walk in.
it's the first time they use Force lightning.
they run straight for Alek. they felt his death already, but what if they could somehow still heal him, what if he could be saved- they kill Raana Tey to get to Alek. Lucien and Feln escape (though singed) while Revan's holding Alek's body.
Lucien gets to the Council before Revan does. The Coruscant Council... doesn't exactly like either of them, to put it mildly, but they're more inclined to trust the word of two masters than one rogue knight. the official story goes out that Alek killed the padawans, and then turned on the masters when they tried to protect their students. it's assumed that Zayne died from falling/jumping out the window (he's fine, he landed on Gryph). the Council does still have a vested interest in protecting their star student, and they say Revan was simply confused, arriving with no context and lashing out at the perceived aggressor. they drop charges against Revan, briefly mourn Zayne's tragic death, and pin all the blame on Alek.
Revan wasn't there for the massacre, but they felt it in a vision-echo anyways. somehow it's worse that they got off with a slap on the wrist (and the assumption that they'll obey the Council in return for the favor) while poor Squint would be only remembered as a Fallen Jedi and murderer.
they still have the War to deal with, but now this is personal. all their time that isn't spent investigating the war is spent hunting the Covenant. it's not even just revenge for Alek- it's fear that the Covenant will come after them, or Ferroh, or any of the others. after all, they still don't know why the Covenant killed the padawans (and Alek), just that they did, and that now they're attempting the biggest coverup of the decade.
Revan doesn't bother involving the Council with anything anymore- in fact, they actively avoid the Council and the rest of the Order. they go directly to the Republic with the Cathar vision, and it takes capturing Flashpoint to provide evidence of the War, but they do. the Revanchist movement lost a bit of steam when the news came out that Alek died, and a lot more when the Council's official statement came out, but those who stayed are more zealous than ever.
Zayne can't return to the Jedi for fear of Lucien finishing the job, so he's stuck with Gryph for a while, and he spends days wondering what happened to Alek. he finds out when Vrook comes out with the official statement, and he realizes the future Darth Malak died to protect him.
and then he realizes that now Revan is hunting Lucien and Feln, and oh no the entire timeline is screwed, and how does he tell Revan there's a Sith in Lucien's house and a metric ton of Sith artifacts in Feln's house-
This is adorable, but I refuse to believe that Quinlan Vos didn’t teach an inter-term class called “Aggressive Lockpicking, Lightsaber Edition” that ran right after Obi-Wan’s “Cheating at Sabacc to Serve the Greater Good” seminar.
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