hands stay in the same position, trying to offer some reassurance that he’s keeping his word, not coming any closer and remaining as non - threatening as possible. he tries to project a sense of safety to bucky, chest tight with undeniable emotion for his best friend. it’s heart - breaking to see him in this state, and steve knows he has to help him. he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure bucky’s safe again. the other’s distress is obvious in his tone with his words, and brows furrow briefly as steve tries to remain as neutral as possible. “ calling you what, ‘ buck ‘? that’s always been my nickname for you, ” he says. with every passing second, it becomes more obvious that although it looks like him, this is not his bucky.
he hears the whisper thanks to his supersoldier hearing, and it makes his skin crawl. the implications of why bucky has to say that, like he’s reminding himself of it, linger in the silence between them. steve feels like his stomach is falling to his toes. “ yeah, ‘m steve, ” he says as gently as possible when his voice is threatening to become unsteady with emotion. “ i’m your best friend, since we were kids. ” what the hell has happened to his friend?
steve notices that flinch at the brunet’s speaking of his own name. brows furrow slightly as pain creeps into his features. whoever had done this to bucky was going to pay with their lives, steve was sure of this. he’s never been a particularly violent man, but this is unforgivable, whatever exactly this is. “ yeah, your name is bucky, ” voice openly shaking now, and he clears his throat after, trying to reign in his emotions.
steve’s been in bucky’s dreams? could those possibly by the same dreams that steve’s been having of bucky? with every passing moment, steve’s losing it a little bit more, and he knows he has to be present with bucky now, but christ. what would cause him to forget his own name? “ that – that makes sense. ” if bucky couldn’t remember his own name, but he’d been dreaming of steve, then it would make sense that he would cling to that, right?
“ i’m – we’re important to each other. i can help you, bucky. ” steve’s eyes look pained and pleading as he watches the brunet, “ i would never hurt you. i would never do … whatever has happened to you, you’re safe with me. i’ll protect you now. ” thankfully his voice is steadier now, confidence rising as he forms a plan of action in his mind.
❥❥❥|THE SPACE is needed, almost like water; ‘cause the walls of the alley are closing in and his chest is so so tight. breathing is difficult, and he has to focus long and hard to simply take a breath. there is a shrill ringing in the back of his skull, and it moves with each sound of the booming city; intensifying, electrifying, pushing him closer to the edge of combustion.
that’s always been my nickname for you,
head shakes; wags back and forth while greasy strands of black stay stuck to his forehead---practically glued there from sweat and dirt. that’s not HIS name---whose name is it? Bucky. Buck.
gaze locks with the others and there’s a long moment of silence while the asset listens. there’s no dishonesty in the mans words, no ulterior motive that he can detect. body language is on par with someone shocked---and nervous. the asset isn’t sure why but, he knows that he can trust this man. needs to trust this man.
“ i don’t know who i am. “ said so softly, like a scared child. a stark contrast to the MACHINE that stands before Steve.
