redhead bouquet @redheadbouquet - Tumblr Blog

actually im doing really well except for the fact that everything makes me sad and the things that dont make me sad make me angry. but other than that im fine

#well yes exactly

i don't have anything particularly engaging to say about it but i'm Suffering and Enduring Difficulties

#i am taking v good care of my mom post-knee replacement. i'm straightforwardly confident this is true and also she's said it over and over #and i literally don't mind that part #while she continues to just Be How She's Been For Like 6 Years #(also perh a p s she was like this before that but i think it was definitely less consistently and less intensely)#i wish i had better language for talking about how i literally want to live more than anything #and also my brain (and sometimes—like today—my mouth. but only v quietly.) is like i am goingggg to fuckinggg killllll myselffffffff #she acts like she believes Being Polite is a fine replacement for treating me like a person or acting with integrity or being kind #and i! am sick of dealing with that!! over and over forever!!!!#and sick of dealing with her lack of insight about it!!!!!!!!!!

i'm like almost 100% sure i just saw a black bear

#running across the road in the dark in front of my car to get from one cedar swamp side to the other #spooked maybe either by my muffler or my windows-down deana carter #it was huge. if it wasn't a black bear there's really nothing else it would be??? it was a black bear #it moved like a black bear #i'm glad it wasn't closer to my car (for its sake) but also i wish i could have seen it betterrrr #my headlights were a little too dim and it was moving really fast (and so was i tbh)

69shrimp

why dont you make like a tree and feel the breeze and the sun and the changing of the seasons. and Grow

#yeah

kaiasky

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

biggestzam

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

kaiasky

i want you on my team holy shit

i cried at the mary cassatt exhibit at the national gallery

#then when i met up with my mom and sister in a different part of the museum later i was like #'i cried at the mary cassatt exhibit'#and my sister was like 'of course you did'#and i was like 'guess which one got me'#and my mom was like 'the one with the mom and the baby'#and my sister was like 'that's all of them' (not quite true)#and my mom was like 'the yellow one. the one with the sunflower'#she was right #and THAT'S exACTLY the sort of THING that creATES the CONDITIONS for me OF COURSE crYING at the MARY CASSATT EXHIBIT #when i am mad at my mom! and childless! and one year older than she was when she had me! and on a trip she's paying for!#so i would not achingly miss out on my grandparents' second funeral!#the one with the sunflower has the baby looking in a round hand mirror the mom is holding up for the baby to look at herself in #and the mom is looking at the baby's face in the mirror but the baby is looking at the viewer in the mirror #and the baby has my exact hair color and haircut circa 1992 #but the baby was painted in 1905 #moms!!! and!!! babies!!!#pretty sure i was crying about it before i read the plaque about suffrage but maybe that contributed also.

luntfontanne

married

luntfontanne

🥺

#this deborah vance look and the other pink deborah vance finale look with the pink gloves #femme feelings #in a profound way that makes me want to be alive. you get it.

pegplunkett

angelyne billboards in the 80s and 90s

#femme feelings #very gender for me personally

my car is in the shop overnight unexpectedly and I Miss It

#not that i would even be going anywhere if it were here #i just am comforted by having the optionnnn

i don't want hacks to be over :(

today's the one year anniversary of luna being attacked by dogs on a walk. i'm soooooooo glad she's here and being her little snuggly luna self right next to me and (no jinxes!!!) doing well.

#like it sucked so much. and also we were so lucky.#my brain tells me that acknowledging this is going to Curse us / her #and that being explicitly grateful for her (seemingly) good health is going to make something go wrong #and like. maybe!!!!!!!!#but that's probably not how it works!!!!! and acknowledging good things is something i want to be able to do #she's so much of the goodness in my life

there's a window AC unit in my dining room and a window AC unit in my bedroom and they have to be plugged into outlets that go to separate fuses because if they're each plugged in in the rooms they're in, it will blow the fuse. (the bathroom is a separate fuse, so there's a whole extension cord limbo situation happening and i cannot open my linen closet.) both window AC units have been running for most of the day, with heavy curtains closed when the sun got lower & was coming in the (other) windows and baking everything. it is nonetheless 78 degrees in my bedroom. :) :) :)

#my ideal bedroom temperature is like.........63 #helpppppppp meeeeeeeeee

have had a period for 16 days straight and idk why.............kill me

#my back hurts. i am so tired. who knows if these things are connected. but.

3000s

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

3000s

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

#this literally made me laugh so hard i couldn't re-open my eyes for like two minutes which i kept trying to do to re-read it #idk why this got meeeeeee. sooooo badlyyyyy #laugh rule #the most

when i push my thumb into my hip and my opposite ankle starts twinging.................................why

homunculus-argument

Everyone you've ever had sex with gets put into the same room, and they're only freed once they figure out what they all have in common. How long will it take for them to figure it out?

Never. They are all tragically stupid.

Odds are low, they are very varied, but they might figure it out in under 24 hr

A few hours, tops. I have a type.

Unclear. There's very few of them.

Unclear. There's too many of them.

There are too many things they all have in common with each other.

Empty chairs at empty tables (never been fucked)

I've only slept with one person so this scenario can't apply to me

I'm too bald and vanilla to answer this. Results please.

Voting ended onMay 25

#okay so here's the thing.#i said a few hours #but it's not necessarily because i have a type #it's more that i think at least a couple of them would figure it out pretty quickly. bc of their own exceptional pattern recognition.#and/or particular hints from Knowing Me (that aren't just ~me having a type)#and there's a kind of big asterisk #which is that i don't know if the one(s) who figured it out would quickly tell the others lmao #or if they'd sort of hmmmm........let it play out without Sharing Their Hunch u know?#to be fair. one of the ones who i think might figure it out quickly WOULD also share the info quickly i think.#and that one would figure it out bc of the over-representation of redheads + the name of one of the non-redheads. so.#for whatever reason i do think about these people being in a room together kind of often.#when i think about them in isolation i don't feel confident that they would all say nice things about me #but i think if they got together and realized what they had in common they would have fun saying nice things about me #we don't have time to unpack all that etc. etc.

i do wonder at what point, fingers crossed, tutoring under my own umbrella will feel like having my own ~business, and/or a job at all (in a good way), more than it feels like unemployment with an asterisk

#mostly it does feel like unemployment with an asterisk still #even if i'm either tutoring or doing promotional and planning stuff or both basically every day

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