Sayo had waited in complete silence until she heard the door open, which meant that Battler had more than likely returned. When it did open she didn’t hesitate to pop up from her crouched position, a pumpkin head mask held against her face.
It didn’t stay there long as she slowly lowered it, a sheepish grin on her face as she peered up at her boyfriend. “So, did I scare you?”
Of all the lectures he could’ve gotten on a Monday morning, they had to pick the driest one of them all. He lost track of how many times he dozed off and felt someone shaking him awake, or shaking awake the guy next to him. Seriously if that professor expected anyone to have learned anything from that lecture he should probably re-evaluate himself.
But, it was fine. It was the only lecture he had. Therefore he could head home now and maybe take a nap or something. As he opened the door into the apartment, he breathed a sigh of relief before-
Boo!
It was safe to say she did startle him, but it was more of the art where she popped out of nowhere than say the mask. She was actually really adorable with that on.
“Yeah, you got me.” he replied with a grin, rubbing the back of his head.
It was a stark reminder of what he had lost. Today he was here as a way of testing himself he supposed. Could he be here without feeling his loss? Could he stand to hear the sound of gulls, the crashing of the waves, the people laughing and smiling here after 3 years?
The answer was, apparently, not really.
Well, perhaps that was being a little harsh. He was doing a good job sitting on the bench and staring out to the water. He didn’t feel happy, he didn’t enjoy it, but he also didn’t feel an ache either. Emptiness, that’s probably the best way to describe it.
Someone though was bound to notice. The one guy sitting alone with a long look on his face stood out after all. He rather people would leave him be for now, but that never seemed to happen in Battler’s world. That might not be a bad thing however.
“No problem”, Kurogane said with a smirk, following Ange with his gaze who was getting ready to try out her new colouring book. “I’ll be on my way now”, he said. “If you want to talk, just call me or something.”
Then he turned to Ange one last time. “Since we cut the training short today, I expect you to train twice as hard for next week.” But he was still smiling.
She smiled, “Yeah! I will!I’ll be able to defend my friends when you see me next!”
Battler gave a nod. He would. He would many more times he was sure. Every time it felt like his life was about to fall apart again he knew he could count on his friends to help him put it together.
Once again, Kurogane thought how unfair it was that Battler had to deal with all of this… And how remarkable Battler was for dealing with it how he did. Battler had gone through something that Kurogane considered a lot more horrible than what he went through himself, and still, unlike him, Battler hanged in there, and was still able to live what amounted to be a quite normal and happy life, factoring in the circumstances. It was nothing short of inspiring.
Kurogane shook his head when Ange hugged him and thanked him. “Well done”, he said. He knew Ange could do it. He raised his face and returned Battler’s smile with his own small one and then nodded. “You got a really kick-ass brother”, he said, more to Battler than to her.
That last comment managed to get Battler to laugh a little. Him? Kick ass? Far from it as far as he was concerned. Honestly to him he was damned mess, a mess that somehow got lucky to be in a somewhat normal life. He could’ve just as easily went a different way or ended up dead.
“Onii-chan? Why are you laughing?” she asked
“Ah, nothing. You wanna colour that book together?”
She nodded with a smile, walking back up to her brother feeling more at ease now. There was still a long road ahead, but at least she didn’t have to face it alone.
“Oi, Kurogane, thanks.” he said, “Thanks for bringing her home.”
And for helping him put the family back together again, but he didn’t say that. He knew Kurogane would just brush it off.
Ange didn’t need any more convincing to go up the stairs to their apartment, and Kurogane was proud about how brave she was.
For how long the two held on for, they didn’t know. Ange was the one to let go first once she noticed he ws calming down. She let him gather himself as she wiped her own tears away. There would still be friction between them going forward for sure. She was growing up, and they were both stubborn. She was going to do what she thought was right, and he would fight to keep her from straying off into something terrible.
It ws inevidable, but at least this ws proof they would, somehow, make it. Especially since they wouldn’t be alone going forward.
For a moment, neither of them really knew what to say. It would be Ange that finally broke the silence.
“I know witches aren’t real. I know a person did it. But... you don’t have to tell me now...” she said.
Battler let a long breth through his nose, “I know, I know it’s not fair to not know, but the truth is... awful. What I can tell you is that they’re never coming back, the one who did it. They died on that island. They won’t be coming after us.”
Ange frowned a little, looking up at him with tilted head, “Then why did we...?”
“Because I was scared half to death of dealing with it. The police would’ve questioned us, the reporters all over us, I didn’t see any chance of a normal life. A normal life where you would go to a normal school and make friends and be happy, one where I could be left alone to mourn and make fiends myself, we weren’t going to get that back there. We made the decision to leave that night, so we’d have a better chance at a good future, especially yours.”
Ange looked down a little. She wondered how many things her brother gave up to leave. It never occurred to her that he could’ve just left her and ran with Sayo. He could’ve, but he didn’t. He couldn’t bear to leave her behind and decided to instead give up the rest of his youth to raising her.
She was only just beginning to see what he’d done, but wouldn’t realize the full extent until she was older.
She gave a short nod in response, satisfied at least with a bit of a clearer picture. She turned around, remembering who convinced her to do this in the first place. She ran up to him with a teary smile and gave him a hug as well.
“Thank you.” she said, looking up at him.
Battler didn’t say anything, only offering him a weary smile. A weary, thankful, smile.
“If we’re counting unrestful nights where I didn’t feel like I slept as sleep, about 38 hours give or take. If we’re not counting those, I have no clue. Days?”
“I think once you see him, you’ll know what to do”, Kurogane tried to reassure her when she said she didn’t know how to make up with Battler. He smiled a little when he realized that she immediately sensed that making up with her brother and probably giving him a big old hug was what would make everything much better. That was the big difference between how Ange dealt with all of this and how Kurogane dealt with it back then. “You’ll be fine”, he said from the bottom of his heart.
Then she asked him if he could come with her. If that was the last boost she needed to muster up the courage to make the first step to making up with her brother, Kurogane more than happily obliged.
“I’ll be there”, he promised and nodded. “Come”, he said, handing her the bokken he had carried for her and they made their way to Ange’s home and her brother.
She gave a small nod, “O....ok.”
She took the bokken out of his hand and clutched it close to her. The entire way back she stuck herself close to his side. The last thing she wanted was to be out in the open when she felt like this. The closer they got to home, the more nervous she became. Once they were inside the home, she stopped for a moment at the stairs, wondering if this was such a good idea after all, and gave a look to Kurogane.
She already knew it was a little too late to turn back now.
She took a breath and went up the stairs to Apartment 203. She didn’t need to knock, she knew he was home and would leave it unlocked. As the door swung open, the seemed as homely as ever, except the air didn’t seem right. There was now a small dent in the wall, one Ange didn’t seem to notice, but perhaps someone else might pick up on. The occupant of the house also did not seem like himself.
Sitting at the kitchen table, book laid out open in front of him along with scattered papers, Battler seemed exhausted. His eyes had dark circles from lack of sleep, and he seemed to have been on the verge of breaking into tears at first before the door had caught his attention. The other thing that was notable was the bruising on his right hand. He had clearly punched something, and he didn’t win in that exchange.
There was silence between the two for a moment. He could see Kurogane there, and just assumed he was just taking her home. But it was awfully early for her to be home, wasn’t it?
The longer Ange looked at her brother, who was doing his best to gather himself back together in order to talk to Kurogane without choking on his words, the more she realized how bad the fighting had also hurt him. It wasn’t fun to fight. Neither of them were winning each time they fought over this. They only hurt each other in the process.
“Hey, uh, Kurogane. Is something up? You’re awfully early.” he managed to say. Ange looked back up at Kurogane for just that bit of confidence she needed, before turning her attention back to her brother who was reaching down beneath the table and pulling out a plastic bag with a book inside.
“Ange... I, uh... look I... I haven’t been the best brother ever, I know. I’ve been... I mean...” God this had sounded so much better in his head. He was terrible at this. He sighed a little and pulled out the colouring book. It was true that she had wanted one for a while. Perhaps her brother had meant it as a peace offering. Seeing it however didn’t make her happy. She didn’t care about the pages of she would just doodle all over.
“I’m... I’m sorry. I really am...I...”
She walked up to him finally, taking the book into her hands. She looked up at him, straight in the eye for the first time in a while. She could tell he really meant it, and honestly, she was just as sorry. Even now just looking at him and realizing how stupid they both had been the last week or so made her tear up.
No matter what came, come hell or high water, he was still her brother. He might be an idiot sometimes. He might lie and try to make things better. He might be goofy and cheery, or determined and serious, or broken and sad, but he was still her brother. And something she realized right there and then was that she would always love her brother.
She threw the book aside. It hit the floor with a thud and started Battler, who didn’t expect such a reaction gauging from her face. What shocked him even more however was when she threw her arms around him and held on tight. He could feel her burying her face into his shoulder, but a part of him was still processing if this was happening or not.
“I’m sorry too...” her voice was muffled by the fabric of his shirt, “I don’t want to fight anymore. Not with you.”
For a second he wondered if he was hearing things right. He wondered if this was why they came home so early. This had to be Kurogane’s doing, somehow or another. He didn’t know how, but he always seemed to make things right within this household. And for that, more than ever, he was grateful.
Honestly, he didn’t care how, nor why this came about. He had started to think for a while he failed his sister with this mess up. He had been racking his brains on how to make up for it. He had tried to think of a way to make things better while kicking himself for being stupid. He had been thinking he was an idiot to have tried to take on her care all by himself. He was too young, he wasn’t like the parents she really needed. He had kicked himself even further when all he could think of was a damn colouring book to help ease the tension between them. So much so that while the house had been empty he had put his fist to the dry wall (which he was starting to heavily regret.)
So it was natural when it finally clicked in, his body responded with holding her tight in return. He was shaking in her arms, but she paid it no mind. She didn’t mind the fact he was trying not to sob loudly but could not stop his tears. It was relief, happiness, regret, all rushing in at once.
It must’ve been a relief to know his sister didn’t hate him.
As for herself, she didn’t feel vulnerable anymore. Even though he was trembling, his embrace was a huge comfort to her. He wasn’t mad at her. He didn’t hate her either. He didn’t want to fight anymore either. He trying his best to take care of her. It was no easy feat, and she would not realize it until she was older and wiser.
For now, she was just happy to not fight with her brother again. She would thank Kurogne in a moment for giving her the confidence to go through with this, but she couldn’t yet, not until things felt alright again.
Kurogane would be okay with either of her decisions, and when she decided to take his hand after mulling it over for a few moments, he just walked next to her, letting her set the pace. Her hand was awfully small in his big one, and she felt cold, but that wasn’t a surprise, because Kurogane always had a rather high body heat himself. They walked in silence and Kurogane noticed that she was coming a bit closer. They didn’t speak a word until they reached the park a couple minutes later.
Kurogane looked down at her, but she didn’t look distracted at all. She looked like she was very far in her head and didn’t even properly process the park around her.
She looked lost.
Kurogane decided that it would probably be best if she talked it through with her brother. Or they at least worked out some kind of truce. Even though he wouldn’t force her to do it: She had a home, and when you were lost, it was best to go home to the people you loved. If all else failed, she could stay at his and Yuui’s place for some hours until she felt prepared to face her brother. But she would have to go home sooner or later anyway.
“Oi”, he said, squeezed her hand a little to get her attention and let out an empathetic sigh, once again kneeling down in front of her to get into her line of sight. “Let me take you home”, he offered. “I know you’re angry at your brother and said you don’t want to see him, and that’s okay. But I bet he’d be as happy as you would be if you two could make up. I’ve seen you fight before; you’re both very good at making up.” She didn’t even have to forgive Battler. Just making up for the time being would be fine.
She barely registered the squeeze at first. He wasn’t until he knelt down and talked to her she seemed to register it. He was right, she was lost. She felt lost, and somewhat alone. Even though Kurogane was close to her, what she needed, what she really wanted, couldn’t come from him. It could only come from her brother.
What she needed was her brother to be there, at her side, to tell her everything was ok. No one else could really do that.
Kurogane was like an uncle to her yes, but it wasn’t quite the same. It looked like he was even aware of it. He had been through this though, and it was her turn now. If anyone could understand her, it was him.
Since the day she asked him if witches were real or not, the two of them had been on shaky terms at best. Sayo tried to mediate the two of them, but they were both stubborn. She wasn’t sure how long now it had been going on for. Battler kept trying to reconcile, but she wouldn’t have it, and it would break out into another argument. On the other hand, she would try to get answers, but he would become defensive, and the fight would pick up where it left off. She had really only thought of her own feelings, how it wasn’t fair he wouldn’t tell her and things like that, but she failed to notice how he had been feeling.
Now that Kurogane mentioned it, he hadn’t smiled in a while. He had been either pacing, sitting down in thought, or trying to hide how upset he was to the best of his ability (which was rather poorly.) He hurt just as bad, maybe more since he was there. All he wanted was not to fight anymore, she imagined anyways.
None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair to her, to her brother, to Sayo, even to her Aunt. It was easy to forget sometimes in her own misery that they suffered too, and they had been there. As much as she hated the fact she’d been lied to, and he still wouldn’t tell the truth, she didn’t want to fight him anymore.
She was tired, so was he.
“I... I don’t know how....”
Yes. Yes she did know how. She knew a simple way that would at least mend things together for them for now. But she couldn’t do it alone.
“...will you be there?” she asked, “I don’t think I can by myself...”
She looked in the direction he was pointing. A part of her wanted to go further. A part of her wanted to run as far as she could away from here and find a way back to Japan, but she couldn’t do that. She was too tired, and she knew it was impossible.
He offered his hand, and for a moment she thought about refusing it. At the same time the whole conversation left her feeling defeated, vulnerable, and she wasn’t ready to walk on her own like that. She slowly took his hand and stood up, finding herself drifting to his side. Something about him standing tall at her side made her feel a little better, even if it wasn’t by much.
She said nothing, there really wasn’t much to say as they walked towards the park. She thought the fresh air would help, but it didn’t. The cool breeze felt harsh every time it blew making the vulnerable feeling she had worse. She could hear the balls in her pigtails click together, and suddenly they felt heavy on her head. Strange, she thought.
Even at their destination, she said next to nothing, just staring out at the nature before them.
Ange reacted like Kurogane thought she would - and he completely understood. It was how he would feel in her position. How he had felt when he had been in her position, for years. He took his hand from her shoulder when she brushed it off, but he stayed close nontheless. He could take her anger and desperation as long as she needed to vent them. That was all he could do, though.
Keep reading
Ange couldn’t say much to that. She stared up at him with a mix of emotions. On one hand she felt sorry for her teacher. She had an idea of what he must’ve felt, turning every corner and waiting to get jumped by something awful. At the same time she couldn’t get a grasp of the scale. Still, if Kurogane of all people, someone she looked up to as being brave and strong, had been terrified, it must’ve been awful.
On the other hand she still felt like it was her right to know. She should know what happened to her family that day. Maybe it might not make any sense, but wasn’t knowing the truth better than a fanciful lie? If you knew the truth, then isn’t that a step in letting go?
Could she let go? Letting go of the pain of the past and move on into the future was something more easily said than done. She was already starting to do that in a way. She found a family in this town, friends, but the pain of losing her other one was still there. It might always be there.
To begin again wasn’t the hard part. Her finding this family, him finding his own, was proof of that. The hard part, was letting go.
“But you could only let go after finding out the truth, right? As scary or as painful as it is, if at least I know...”
She tried to argue back, but she seemed deflated somehow. She still wanted the truth. She still was angry with her brother for lying. Perhaps however a part of her knew deep down that Kurogane, was right.
It was going to take more than that however for her to be able to let go. It would take time, just as it did Kurogane, to let go of the pain and anger of the past and focus on the happiness she found now. At least there was a step in the right direction, and that she was not pushing Kurogane away.
The next would be to deal with her brother. If that relationship remained shaky for too long it would hurt both of them.
She turned and walked to a bench and sit down. She stared down at the floor, wondering what she would even do if she knew the truth. Seek revenge? She was a kid. Maybe like he suggested, in that if she knew it would make some sense, but what if it didn’t?
She didn’t really want to think about it anymore.
“...I don’t want to be here anymore, but I don’t wanna go home and see my brother yet.” She was still upset, still not calling him ‘onii-chan.’ She looked back up at him, close to tears again, “Can we walk to the park or something? Somewhere quiet? I don’t want to talk about this anymore...”
Kurogane kept his hand on her shoulder, but he didn’t say anything while Ange let out the desperation, sadness, anger and frustration she was feeling. Of course it hurt him to hear and see her crying, but he knew this had to get out.
He knew how she felt. And it was not like he could give her an answer to the question that hurt the most;
Why did they have to die?
She looked up at him with clenched fists.
“I don’t know”, he said calmly and truthfully. He didn’t know if Battler knew why the murders happened, either.
He wanted to tell her that Battler had certainly done what he thought would be best for her, but he stopped himself from doing that. When he had been in her position, young and hurt and aching, those words had always felt like a slap to the face from the adults around him. ‘It’s what’s best for you.’ It had sounded like lame excuses. It had been infuriating.
It had taken him years and he had to grow up to be an adult himself to figure out that the adults in his life had actually done what had been best for him by leaving out the gruesome details around his parents’ deaths. Not to speak of the identity of who did it.
“I think he told you about the witch because he thought it would be easier to handle than the truth that regular people did it”, Kurogane truthfully said. “But there’s no way you can properly handle it, anyway. It will always hurt. The only thing you can do is try to trust your brother that he’s doing what’s best. Or at least that he’s trying to.” And not make the same mistake Kurogane had made; distance himself from every adult who had tried to reach out a hand to him when he had most needed it and act up awfully instead.
“What’s... best...” She grit her teeth together, facing back downwards. He was right, that did sound like a slap in the face. It sounded like she ws being ignored, left in the dark, and for no purpose that she could see. Didn’t she have the right to know? It was her family too. She was sick of being purposely hidden from things, being lied to, and being told ‘what was best for her.’
She tried to push his hand off her shoulder, not wanting to be touched anymore.
“What’s best for me is not being told the truth? What’s best is telling me some witch killed everyone? Some witch I’ve been afraid of because I can’t do anything about a witch? What’s best is being afraid some witch is going to come knocking down the door and killing everyone?!”
She wasn’t crying anymore, but perhaps it was because she was too angry to. No, she was infuriated now.
“I would’ve accepted some 19th normal person doing it all, but no, he lied! I’ll be he’s going to try and tell me now it was someone else that snuck on the island, but I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ll bet that isn’t it either! He would’ve just told me! It had to be someone there! More than a servant, it had to be! Everyone thinks it’s Aunt Eva, and maybe it is! They all say she wanted the inheritance for herself! It would also explain why he had to run away, right?”
She wasn’t considering that fact that Eva’s son and Husband both died as well. She really didn’t have an explaination for it either. She was too angry to think about it.
“What’s best for me is knowing wht happened! You know the feeling don’t you? Don’t you?! You went off to find the truth!”
