Drunken Monologues

I'm Nicole. 18. Eat. Sleep. Read. Music. "This place is a monster. I've landed myself in the belly. Keeping me company is every body its ever eaten, every body it will ever eat."

[mischon]

[straightboyfriend]

[mapachezurdo]

[tiffanarchy]

this is the best thing I will see for a month

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

innovation

[paxdemon]

we joke about procrastination but nothing is worse than the nauseating feeling of having every intention of doing something but physically not being capable of doing it and then feeling like you want to throw up because the deadline is just getting closer and closer.

[twitterlols]

[tryclops]

whoever made this meme is A FAKE FAN

fairy godmother was singing her iconic cover of “i need a hero” during this scene, “livin’ la vida loca” wasn’t performed by puss in boots and donkey until the end of the movie

literally check yourself before you wreck yourself

[intothespiderbottom]

shrek yourself before you wreck yourself

[rabidchild]

A. The song title you are looking for is “Holding Out for a Hero” which is a song by Bonnie Tyler, but performed in this film by the incomparable Jennifer Saunders (of AbFab fame).

B. Mongo had a featured line during “Livin’ la Vida Loca”, which he sang from his final resting place in the moat, meaning that it is completely fair to assume that someone would associate the song with his dying moments.

So who is the real fake Shrek fan?

[knot-the-father]

things heating up in the Shrek fandom.

[theofficialpresidentoftheusa]

Since everyone’s making vine compilations i figured id do my part w some of my faves

[obviousplant]

[jettestblack-deactivated2017080]

[baetology]

man they can sing

[jeniphyer]

The harmony is flawless

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

this is so pure

[castiel--for--king]

Four dudes put baby goat on pedastle, feed him snacks and sing to him about himself. I think this is the best and most pure thing I have ever witnessed

[jezebel-adventures]

“Eat what ya got”

[mxlabradorite]

The bleating is what gets me every time.

[submissive-puppet-deactivated20]

Honestly best thing I’ve seen all day!!!!🐐 Those voices though!!! 😱😱😍😍😍😍

[submissive-puppet-deactivated20]

I will NEVER stop reblogging this. I’ve caught myself singing this at random times 😂😍

[disgustinganimals]

We never found out whose goat that is.

[sernacht-deactivated20181216]

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

“Do not come any closer.”

[peredurthefool-deactivated20200]

Now that’s a well done biblical license plate.

[automodownremade-deactivated202]

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

[jokesarefunny]

i aint risking being a weak ass ghost

[startofamoment]

b99 + text posts tweets: jake (and yet again)

[prideprejudce]

alright disney,,,,,,if yall are really going on some ‘live action remake of all our old cartoon movies spree’ then listen up,,,,,atlantis. do you hear me?atlantis the lost empire (2001). diverse cast. strong plot. good moral lessons that kids will understand. everything. no more cinderella no more snow white no more sleeping blondie. a t l a n t i s

[brooklyn99]

[thetalesofbasingse]

[meelo]

CHECK 1 CHECK 1-2 CHECK 3. YOU READY FOR SOME AMON SHIT?

SCREECHIN THAT DAMON THOMPSON-LIKE ANTI SHIT.

FIRST OFF I’MA SAY; IF YOU’RE A BENDER I’LL BE YOUR ENDER

MURDER BE MY GAME AND THE AVATAR I’LL MAIM

CAUSE I’M LOWER CLASS BUT RISING FAST GONNA MAKE IT LAST.

MY VOICE BE HITTING THE MIC WITH A REBELS RASP THROUGH MY MASK

PUTTING YOUR OFFICIALS IN FEAR CAUSE THEY KNOW CHANGE IS NEAR.

WALKING INTO YOUR GOVERNMENT TAKING OVER CAUSE IT’S CROOKED

YOU ABUSED YOUR POWER AND POSITION SO I CAME IN AND TOOK IT.

TRYIN TO RAISE UP THE PLEBEIAN TO RISE, REVOLT WITH A COLT, REBEL,

FUCK THE SYSTEM, SEND THE POWERED TO THEIR GRAVE IN HELL.

TEACH THE REST HOW THEY SHOULD BEHAVE

GONNA ROLL THROUGH THIS CITY LIKE A TIDAL WAVE.

AND YOU MAY BE WATER TRIBE, BUT WE’LL SEE THAT YOU’RE “OUT”.

*drops mic descends back into stage*

OUICK! SOMEONE MAKE A KORRA RAP RESPONSE! I WANT TO SEE THIS RAP BATTLE! IT SHOULD BE A THING! D8

oky I’ll do my best!!!

LOOK MOTHERFUCKER I’M THE AVATAR

I’VE GOT MORE RHYMES THAN I’VE GOT BATTLESCARS

WHAT YOU WANNA PLAY? COME BRING IT PUNK 

I’LL FLAY YOU ALIVE, BEND YOUR BLOOD, AND LEAVE YOUR BODY IN MY TRUNK

SHIT! AMON, YOU LOOK SCARED, WHAT, CAN’T STAND STEADY?

TAKE OFF THE MASK BITCH AND COME FIGHT ME ALREADY

MY NAME IS KORRA FROM THE WATER TRIBE

I’VE BEEN BENDING FIRE, EARTH AND WATER SINCE I WAS FUCKING FIVE

EVERYONE SAYS I WAS BORN LUCKY AND BITCH YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE

PEACE

oh my LSKDHGSKGH

#someone needs to jump in as lin beifong

RCPD R-R-RCPD

TIME TO SHUT DOWN THIS ACT BEFORE YOU UP THE ANTE

I’M NOT TAKING ANY SHIT FROM REBELS OR A VIGILANTE

DON’T THINK YOUR RABBLE-ROUSING OR SMASHING UP SHOPS JUST BRING THE CROWDS — YOU BRING THE METALBENDING COPS

THE AVATAR HUH? CUTE. BUT TO ME THAT MEANS DIDDLY

CLEAN UP YOUR TEENAGE ACT AND GET OUT OF MY CITY

AND DON’T THINK I WON’T BE WATCHIN YOU WITH MY EYES

I’M CHIEF OF POLICE YOU BEST RECOGNIZE

BITCH-ASS POSER WANNABES I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND

THE NAME IS BEIFONG I GOT SIX FINGERS ON ONE HAND

THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THIS IS THE GREATEST FANDOM EVER. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES.

HOL UP HOL UP HOL UP LIN!!! YOU BEST STEP OFF MY PUPIL!! AYO! AYO JINORA D-D-D-DROP THE BEAT!

NOW FIRST THINGS FIRST I’LL BEND THE AIR, THEN IMMA START ROCKING BLUE TATS AND NO HAIR.

CAUSE THATS WHAT A MUTHFUCKIN AIRBENDER DO.

JINORA,MEELO, IKKI, PEMA DATS MY AIRBENDER CREW.

LIN MAD CAUSE I GOT MORE FLOW THAN A WATERBENDA,

AMON U MAD CAUSE THERE AINT NOBODY TO DEFEND YA?

ILL RUN OVER ALL OF YA WHILE I RIDE MY BISON.

STUNTIN LIKE MY DADDY, BUT YALL BITCHES IS MY SONS.

NEXT TIME YOU STEP TO ME, BEST BE DISCREET.

UNDERSTAND WE FLY HIGH, WE BE THE LEAF. 

#TENZOUT

MIC CHECK 1,2,1,2

YOU READY, ITS ME

THAT’S RIGHT BOLIN

YOU SEE ME ROLL IN

EQUALISTS? AVATAR? PUH-LEASE.

REPPIN’ THE REPUBLIC CITY STREETS

WITH THEM LADIES WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER

IMMA FUCK YOU UP GOOD

MAKE THE PROBENDING PAIN LINGER

BITCH, WHAT YOU SAY?

THINK YOU CAN WIN

IMMA KICK YO ASS RIGHT OFF ZONE THREE

HOPE YOU CAN SWIM

It seems as though you bitches have come for not only my son, but the new avatar as well. Well You all can Pipe down because the HBIC Has entered the Igloo. Peep My Flow.

UH, UH, YEAH, CHECK IT

NOW THE QUEEN REALLY NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION

AMON, HONEY HAVE YOU CONSIDERED LIPOSUCTION?

YOUR HEAD’S GOTTEN BIG, THOUGH YOUR BRAIN IS SMALL

I’LL BLOODBEND YOUR TRIFLIN ASS UP A WALL

A REAL OG IS HERE TO TELL

YOU POSERS TO STEP OFF CAUSE IM RAISIN HELL

YOU CAME FOR MY SON AND THE AVATAR TOO?

NEED I REMIND YOU I’VE SAVED THE WORLD BOO.

WATERTRIBE IN THE HOUSE, YOU BITCHES ARE SWEET

NOW BOW TO THE QUEEN AND GROVEL AT MY FEET.

I believe the young ones say “You just got served”

Tenzin fetch my robe

I AM ACTUALLY CACKLING RIGHT NOW. WHAT EVEN. HOW DO AIR?

What?! No, Bolin, get off! I told you, I’m not doing this. Hey, stop push - AH, HI THERE. MY NAME IS MAKO, I GUESS I’M THE CAPTAIN OF THE FIRE FERRETS WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE PRACTICING (HONESTLY, BOLIN) BUT INSTEAD I GUESS WE’RE ACTING LIKE THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO WIN NOT COOL, YOU GUYS. COME ON, LET’S JUST GO BACK RUNNIN’ OUT OF TIME, WE GOTTA PICK UP THE SLACK KORRA NEEDS THE RULES, SHE DOESN’T PLAY BY THE BOOK WE’RE DEEP IN TROUBLE ‘CAUSE OF FUCKING HASOOK SO WE’VE GOTTA WORK AND WORK UNTIL WE GET IT RIGHT AND WIN EACH AND EVERY SINGLE PROBENDING FIGHT RAP BATTLES? PLEASE. IT’S THE CHAMPIONSHIP THAT MATTERS AND WE REALLY NEED THAT PRIZE MONEY TO MAKE OUT POCKETS FATTER. Mako out. Let’s go through those drills again.

NOW IT SEEMS THAT YOU BITCHES DON’T REALLY GET IT

CUZ I’M THE ONLY ONE WITH THE LITERACY TO WIN IT

MY DAD’S A COUNCILMAN AND MY G-PA’S THE AVATAR

BUT SOME OF YOU MUST THINK THAT DON’T GET ME VERY FAR

I SNEAK INTO THE CLUBS WITH MY AIRBENDING SKILL

AND PICK UP YOUR MIC AND BRING DOWN THE KILL

AIRBENDING… THERE ISN’T MUCH BETTER

CUZ I CAN GO AROUND AND FUCK WITH THE WEATHER

THE WIND, A TORNADO, A MOTHERFUCKEN HURRICANE

THEN MY GRAN-GRAN CAN COME AND BRING DOWN A RAIN

MY BROTHER AND SISTER, WE ALL LEARN FROM OUR DAD

BUT THOSE HOES GO AROUND AND ACT REALLY BAD

CUZ I AM THE BEST FEMALE AIRBENDER THERE EVER WAS

HELL, MY GREAT AUNT LIN RUNS THE METALBENDIN’ FUZZ

I GOT CONNECTIONS, THERE AIN’T NO DENYIN’

CUZ MY G-PA’S REINCARNATION RUNS AROUND TO KEEP PEEPS FROM DYIN’

FROM THE EQUALISTS - THOSE MUTHERFUCKEN HOES

TRYIN’ TO RUN AROUND AND FUCK UP MY BENDIN’ BROS

AMON - NOW HE’S A FREAKIN’ TROLL

HIDIN’ UNDER THAT STUPID MASK TO KEEP HIM ON A ROLL

OF SECRECY – HE ISN’T ALL THAT GOOD

OF KEEPIN’ HIS DARK PLANS OUT OF THE R.C. HOOD

SEE? JINORA’S GOT THE KNOW HOW

TO GO IN AND KICK SOME NON-BENDER FACIAL BROW

 SO NOW YOU GOT IT? I RUN THESE PREMISES

BUT IF YOU NEED MY HELP…

FGKJDLFKJGLDKFJG

GDLFKGJDLFKGJ

I’M CRYING

I AM LITERALLY CRYING AT JINORA’S RAP.

I CAN’T.

I JUST.

LDFKJGLDJKFG

*gets off moped and does hair flip*

If you bitches know shit

Then yalls better know me

The name is asami

Ive been tinkering since I was three

I aint no bender but what you haven’t seen

I’ll electrocute your ass and ill cut down your spleen

People think I’m prissy but don’t speak so soon

I can take the finest benders and I can make them swoon

Fear for me you bitches and you aint seen nothing yet

So don’t make a decision that you’ll soon regret

I’m the female Jackie chan and I never miss

I’m the fucking CEO of future industries

So you better watch out because I’m the flying star

Make that two cos I married the avatar

*does hair flip and drops mic*

[lawthehybrid1027]

This is my favorite post in this site

[thetalesofbasingse]

when i made this gif, i had no idea what it was going to become 

[iwantcupcakes]

[kushandwizdom]

[zackisontumblr]