i am illiterate

people from massachussetts dni

[gripthumb]

[astronomodome]

a mother ethoslab nursing its litter + the runt (will not survive the winter)

[femmenietzsche]

All the FEMA guys are laughing at you for getting swept away by 2.25 centimeters of floodwater

[femmenietzsche]

The FEMA girls are giggling about it too but mostly thinking about having a threesome with their hottest coworker tonight in a large government van

[redmin69]

the seats get in the way but fema corps genuinely do have crazy sex in the vans . and in housing. and just everywhere really its a bit of a problem when the unit leaders catch them

[river-muse]

Literally just had the unironic thought of "which of the Sparda family could solve for x if you dropped a long variable equation in front of them? If multiple then who would be the fastest at it?"

I think about the questions that no one needs answered.

[dmc-questions-anon]

For anybody who is Going Through It.

[black-quadrant]

sometimes all you need is one passionate person who goes berserk for your work to keep you creating

[angelartist]

@redmin69

[splatterpunkrock]

oh fuck this is a really good hill i gotta die on this

[northirish]

The first rule of violent trench warfare is to have fun and be yourself

[northirish]

The second rule is DONT GET YOUR FUCKING FEET WET

[10001gecs]

I need to suck you off until you’re groaning like a beached whale 🫣

ok you can give me a blowjob but take the time to think of a more sexy simile please

[talbas]

ppl trying to make some of these ships all cute n domestic dont seem to understand these characters are insane. they would have sex by standing on opposite sides of the room fully clothed playing mind games

[angelicguy]

getting one of my friends to housesit and hes like Aw man dude don't worry just enjoy your vacation and the moment I close the door to get in my taxi he tweets "i love smoking cigarettes indoors"

[fluentisonus]

genuinely inconsolable I can't have one of these pompeii bread plushies fr.

[rukafais]

Blorbo from my mosaics.....

[modmad]

[that-house]

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

[solarishashernoseinabook]

hey sorry we put your boyfriend under a readmore

[GIF ID: Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up /end]

[fallingtowers]

it's like they say in dune: "i must not jeff. jeff is the killer"

[argonphoenix]

This is Thelockpickinglaywer and what I have for you today is something very interesting. As you can tell by the agonizing screams of the damned, I have recently left the mortal coil and, upon arriving at my destination, was informed that I did not qualify for residence. I was taken by an angel of the Lord to the mouth of Hell, and when the angel left, he closed this rather large red door and sealed it with a divine key. Although I’ve never seen this particular model of lock before, I’ve spent some time investigating the cylinder with this small shard of bone. By sticking it in the back of the keyway and slowly pulling it out, I can tell that this is a five-pin tumbler lock, that can easily be single-pin picked using this shed demon scale as a tensioner tool. Let’s try that right now. Alright, nothing on one. Nothing on two. Three is binding firmly, click out of that. Nothing on four. Five is binding, little click there, back to one. Once again, nothing. Two is binding, and we’ve dropped into a false set. Little click out of three. Nothing on four. Little click on one, counter-rotation on two, and we got this open. Okay folks, I think the main takeaway here is that no matter how much faith you place in a mechanism designed to ensure your safety, be it spiritual or physical, there is always a state in which it can fail. In any case, thank you for watching. Memento mori, and I’ll see you next time.

[horsewizardart]

she knows her so well