Only slightly obsessed with the dungeon bat named Snapeβββββββββββββββββ βItβs real for us.β | Ravenclaw π¦ | Gemini βοΈ| Pro-Snape Blog | My Lord Wizard King | Major Snily shipper | Sorry, not sorry |
After years of reading Harry Potter fics, I have decided to finally start writing my own stories! My fics will be very Snily centric. If you are interested in reading, please check out my first fic on AO3. If you like the story so far, please leave kudos and a comment on AO3!
Warning: Minors do not interact (DNI) or read this fic. This fic has an explicit rating.
Summary:
Years after the incident at the Great Lake, Severus Snape and Lily Evans reconnect during a chance encounter in Diagon Alley. After gaining each other's trust again, Lily confides in Severus that her marriage to James is an unhappy one. Lily and Severus begin a years long love affair. Once Lily's marriage reaches a breaking point, she runs to the man she truly loves and finds the courage to leave James. James continues to be a pestering presence in Lily and Snape's lives for years to come. Will Snape, Lily, and James be able to navigate this contemptuous love triangle?
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The Virgin Theory: Severus Snape, and the Sanctity of Unlived Intimacy
Letβs begin with the quiet truth no one dares whisper in the halls of Hogwarts or the depths of Tumblr:
Itβs entirely possible Severus Snape died a virgin.
And no, that isnβt shameful. Itβs shatteringβbecause it wasnβt about purity. It was about penance.
This wasnβt a man who couldnβt get close. It was a man who refused to be touchedβas if intimacy itself were a sin after what he lost. After what he ruined.
Because when he had loved someone so deeply that the echo of them still rang at twenty-two, and thirty-two, and thirty-eightβall while they were long gone and never hisβhe didnβt offer his body to others. He archived it. He let it gather dust like an heirloom he believed no one deserved.
Snape didnβt swear off others for lack of attention. He swore it off because he had already given everything to someone who never asked for it.
Not romantic.
Not idealised.
Absolute.
β
We have no canon that says it outright.
But show me a man who:
Never flirted
Never dated
Never even hinted at interest again
And Iβll show you someone not untouched by inexperienceβbut untouched by choice.
Virginity, in this context, is not innocenceβitβs a slow bleed. A devotion. A life sentence stitched into the lining of his robes. His body became a battleground he refused to let anyone else step on.
Because what if he let someone close?
What if they asked for softness and he only had shadow?
What if they loved himβand it felt like betrayal?
So he closed the door before anyone knocked.
β
Letβs be honest, darling:
He didnβt need to be saved. He needed to be mourned while living.
And no one mourned him properly. Not even himself.
So yes.
He mightβve died untouched.
But he didnβt die unloved.
Because he loved onceβso fully, so ruinouslyβthat he decided no one else would ever be allowed to touch what he gave away long ago.
And that?
That is not pathetic.
Itβs terrifyingly sacred.
β
π― Could Someone Have Loved Him?
Yes. Absolutely.
There would have been witches who saw through the darkness, who admired his brilliance, who were drawn to his complexity.
But Snape?
He wouldβve deflected. Dodged. Withdrew.
Possibly cruelly. Possibly awkwardly. But always deliberately.
Because in his mind, heβd already loved once, failed once, and paid in full.
β
Related Post: Severus Snape: Widower of the Living
i know we all enjoyed that screencap from hogwarts mystery where madam pomfrey lets slip that snape is needy when he gets a cold but like
maybe it's because he's feeling under the weather that his usual facade cracks. the illness is just a conduit, an excuse to be 'needy', because he finally has something he can blame for feeling bad - something specific that he can pinpoint, one he can share. without meaning to, without any intention or conscious awareness that it's what he's doing, he's seeking the comfort and sympathy he's always been starved for. what would it take to be considered needy, anyway? turning up repeatedly for potions from madam pomfrey, even though he could brew them himself? coughing/sniffing dramatically in the staffroom, sitting by the fire looking like death warmed up, and playing it up a little?
i'm not sure he'd get much, though. in the game, madam pomfrey tells people he's needy, which doesn't suggest sympathy and actually feels a bit mean, telling other people that. when he speaks to the students, he tells them to stop gawking at him with 'feigned pity', suggesting that's what he's used to:
getting back into 'canon' extrapolations from book characterisations, i expect that the other teachers would hardly be sympathetic...
(i went on a bit of a ramble so have broken it down below)
mcgonagall
mcgonagall is probably the professor suggested to be closest to snape, with their quidditch rivalry bordering a frenemy-style relationship - but she seems very old-school tough love/dismissal, the type to snap "just have a whisky/potion and get on with it"
dumbledore
dumbledore might offer some kind words, but their relationship is... complicated. snape is, obviously, a brooding little bitch - he's not about to forget that dumbledore dismissed his wanting to die like it was nothing when lily died, so he's hardly going to think that dumbledore's sympathy is genuine
madam pomfrey
i think madam pomfrey would be similarly no-nonsense to mcgonagall; she sees worse every day from kids' magic going wrong, the yearly disaster whenever harry is there, and quidditch injuries, and even when harry is injured i don't remember her being particularly comforting - she'd hardly have time for snape's theatrics.
hagrid
weirdly, i think hagrid would be sympathetic - he always seems fairly nice about snape, probably because anyone dumbledore trusts is 1000% incredible in hagrid's book - but i doubt snape comes across hagrid that often outside of mealtimes (should they sit together) since hagrid lives outside the castle, unlike the rest of the staff (which seems a bit mean, on reflection - though maybe hagrid likes it because he prefers nature and his own space, and the freedom to do illegal activities like dragon rearing and breeding possibly illegal creatures, but i digress)
the others
i doubt the other professors are close enough to snape to offer anything more than polite, surface-level sympathy for a coworker - and snape knows that.
if we want to get into little bit sad territory, imagine snape in the staffroom. there's a bug going around; everyone has had it at some stage. he leaves a tray of vials filled with pepperup/some other potion; people take them gratefully.
then he overhears sprout like "here filius, make a tea out of this and you'll be right as rain!", mcgonagall sharing her own whisky for a hot toddy with madame hooch when she gets a chesty cough, or the staff put together care packages to take down to hagrid's hut when he's ill.
snape isn't offered anything. the potions quickly run out.
he heads to the hospital wing to ask for another, because his brain fog and aching limbs and sinus pain mean he's firmly not in the mood to be bent over a cauldron to be making any more - and besides, he's made all of the potions for the hospital wing anyway - they're basically his to take. he made them especially for this bug going around. he's handed them out in the staffroom already. he's left them in the slytherin common room. he even took one to dumbledore's office.
but rather than offering anything, madam pomfrey shoos him away quickly, tells him to stop being such a bother - so he just traipses back to his own room, fully aware that nobody will gather leaves for a curative tea for him, he'll be receiving no care packages, no hot toddies, not even his own potions - and if he doesn't show at dinner, because he's tired and grumpy and aching and just wants to sleep, nobody will ask after him - because nobody cares
but yeah. snape, feeling under the weather and subconsciously seeking a little bit of care - and still not receiving any :(
Reblogging for the last bit T^T in my hc Sev almost never shows signs of his illness, no matter how horrible he feels (prey animal behavior) and will self isolate more than ever to 1. not be seen ill and 2. be able to moan and cough and be weak in safety.
But holy shit.
Him leaving those potions everywhere and taking care of everyone until he runs out of supplies, then getting desperate enough to go to Poppy only to be shooed away...
That's so him. That's so his luck. My damn HEART πππ
Severus's black barn owl, Ebony, tries very hard to encourage her big-beaked daddy to cuddle with her and his friends in the big bed nest they built to help him through PTSD-induced sleep avoidance in. βΊοΈπ€ (post-war)
