Comme lui: Je me consume.

[redsawriter]

the streets (swiftie twitter) are talking about a potential debut TV secret sessions and if I were invited to literally nothing else I would be over the moon to be invited to that..

not just because I’m “old” but because when I was 12 I heard a song on the radio and I loved it to much I asked my mom for a guitar for my birthday and lessons. I loved it so much I made her drive me all the way to Des Moines, IA to hear that song in Sleepy Hollow park because the singer was on the radio live and had agreed to play there. (She also played Permanent Marker and I Heart ? so if we get those as vault songs I will be THROUGH the roof)

I still have that blue acoustic guitar, stained with lots of teardrops from my teen years, and I still drive hours to go see her play whenever I can.

I can’t imagine a better full circle moment after 17 years.

[redsawriter]

loving someone who doesn’t love you back is awful. being in a relationship with that person while that is still true is devastating. living with that person is like smelling smoke in your house and desperately searching for the source, toppling furniture and emptying out drawers only to find nothing for weeks or months until finally you can’t quite smell it anymore. leaving that person is discovering for the first time that all along the burning thing was you.

[redsawriter]

It wasn’t that hard of a hit, really. It doesn’t seem like too much to swallow, too far to leap, too steep to climb, but it’s like when you accidentally smack a sunburn or press against a bruise. Someone else might not even care about this, and I desperately wish I was her today, but you left me so black and blue the colors are still swirling in my eyes. I can still see the ink stains splattered against my chest when I look in the mirror too long.

[cages-boxes-hunters-foxes]

[redsawriter]

how on earth do I still love this literal piece of poop. it defies everything. i don’t regret the breakup, i’ve never wavered in my belief that we are better as friends and co-parents. literally if he walked up to me right now and said we should get back together i would say absolutely fucking not. i don’t want to be with him.

so why did i cry the whole way home Sunday after i saw a romcom in his Netflix queue he obviously watched with someone else??? why did i put our stupid birthdays in that stupid moon thing and watch them line up perfectly? what the fuck am I holding onto????

[redsawriter]

I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him. I still love him.

I wish that wasn’t true. I hope some day it won’t be. Because there will never come a day he deserves it.

[saturnsuv]

2023

DROP EVERYTHING NOW

MEET ME IN THE POURING RAIN

KISS ME ON THE SIDEWALK

TAKE AWAY THE PAIN

[redsawriter]

stupid ass full moon in cancer is making me miss him.

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[venusseason]

damn

[thesecretwriter]

Gotta listen to the duck of creativity

[glitchstoxicwaste]

I’ve needed this duck for two weeks! Where were you during my final art exam?!

[cherrymood]

I Hope it works👁️👄👁️

[meadowmechanism-deactivated2026]

Look, the duck of creativity. i really need to write a good essay. Please.

[redsawriter]

you’re upset and distant because i woke up next to someone else this morning. but you don’t realize a smile from you lights me up more than 12 hours with him.

[remanence-of-love]

[redsawriter]

Alexa, play Vigilante Shit 💅🏻💅🏻

[marisatomay]

babygirl you would not believe the superiority complex me and the other never left tumblr homies have right now

[redsawriter]

my heart hurts for her right now, really it does. This is supposed to be an extremely happy celebratory time and it was ruined.

very happy she has her “Sweet Nothing” love at a time like this 💕 and honestly the idea of her adding more shows on top of 52 has me worried for her.

[redsawriter]

Tearing up over this. 🥹 all too well has always, always been my favorite song by any artist.

I wrote a paper for a music theory class about the impact of the crescendo of the bridge followed by the quiet “all, all, all too well” that came out like the shaky breath of a person who’d just screamed. How it encapsulates the caged nature of female rage. I have listened to it during countless moments of my own rage and heartbreak, and if I ever need it again, I know it will be there waiting for me.

You’ve always deserved it all, @taylorswift. But to me, you deserve this award for this song most of all.

[take-a-deep-breath]

[marvelous-tunes]