βΌοΈ The Problem w/ The Sturniolo Fandom; a very important conversation about who we are & where we are going.
This is a long, long time coming.
I know you all hate essays, as you probably already have to deal with that in your classes and/or jobs. But this, to me, and I'm sure many others, is definitely important for our fandom. I know it ain't my obligation, and I am absolutely no saving grace to the community. But I just care about us way too much for all of this not to be stated.
I personally think that the triplets themselves should say something to their fans, as so many other successful YouTubers have had conversations about topics similar to what I'll be talking about here. While yes, their channel is a time to unwind, have fun, and simply just be entertained, the boys have been in the YouTube business for 5 years, have obtained 7 million subscribers and just as many (if not more) followers across other platforms combined, and have done real-life tours with real-life shows. At this point, having open, honest, and real conversations is probably one of the most important things to do with a community as vast as theirs. It helps to establish important boundaries that need to be had (especially when in regard to live events), allows the fans to see the creators' perspectives, and can give the fans updates on where this career is going. You're in the entertainment business, yes, but it is more than that- it is a community. YouTube, itself, has been built on community. That's it.
YouTubers I think of who have successfully been able to have talks with their audiences just to snap back to reality and offer perspective of their parasocial relationships becoming toxic and dangerous are Markiplier, CoryxKenshin, Vanillamace, Dan & Phil, and many, many others. They have had these conversations that have been absolutely vital to their continued successes, while also calling out fans when they need to be called out. YouTubers are obligated, in my opinion, to pull the reins when their fans are acting out of order both inside and outside of their communities, especially when those fans have put people's livelihoods and mental states in jeopardy. It is a job that has a closer bond to their fans than others in the entertainment biz, such as the music, TV, or film industries, so it is important to have a good control over these fans who think that they have a moral obligation or ego to control you.
I know y'all hate reading essays and full-blown articles, but please take the time to read this. Take breaks if you need it, or if you find yourself uncomfortable with the material being presented.
But here's a post to break some stuff down that I'm aware of! Y'all can send me more things that I can add onto this post if you are comfortable.
π§ What are our next steps as a community?
This doesn't just apply to Tumblr. This goes out to literally every single platform that we have in this Sturniolo space. I wouldn't mind y'all copying and pasting this, or just posting this on your own platforms too because this applies to everybpdy. Everybody's ass getting whooped today π€·πΎββοΈ
β Stop crossing boundaries with the boys!
Nick, Matt, and Chris do not deserve fans who consistently cross their boundaries. I mean y'all are stalking them?? Seriously? If y'all got stalked, that wouldn't be a good thing, so what makes it okay for y'all to stalk the triplets? Because they're famous? Fame doesn't take away people's humanity, and being a fan should not take away your moral compass.
If the triplets say, "Hey, I don't want a take a picture," whether they have a reason or not that follows, then do not take the damn photo. Point blank. Period. Do not even sneak a photo. Don't sneak a video. Don't pull out your phone and make it seem like you're doing something else, when in reality you're recording them. That's fucking weird. Stalking them and crossing boundaries can get them killed. Literally. There are so many celebs/influencers who get killed because either they or their fans post shit they aren't supposed to. So stop that.
Don't take pictures or videos in front of their fucking houses. Don't even do drive-bys. That's the most obvious thing ever. Their parents still live in their home in Boston- why the fuck would y'all want to harass their parents?? Their LA home is their safe space- why would y'all ant to disrupt there either?? They aren't zoo animals- hell, even at the zoo they tell y'all not to record some animals. So why are y'all treating them as if they're zoo animals?? Their homes aren't art exhibits or landmarks either. Just stop being weird.
Sexual jokes are not a boundary, as stated clearly by the boys multiple times, both directly and indirectly. The times they are obviously an issue, are if y'all are making jokes about harassing/assaulting the boys.
ππΎ Stop harassing girlfriends/boyfriends/partners, and even friends.
Stop harassing the people they are around, especially the women in their lives. It's clear misogyny. "I'm a girl, how can I be misogynistic?" Don't be stupid. You're attacking/harassing a woman for simply being a woman and potential partner in a desired man's space.
The only reason y'all never do that shit to the men that Matt and Chris are friends with (i.e. Nate, Lil Skies, Trill) is because you all know they would never be in relationships with them. So if 1+1=2, you all harass the girls they are around because you all are jealous. I'm not going to shame you all for your jealousy, as it is a normal psychological thing for humans to compete for potential mates, and you all view yourselves as the triplets' potential mates, even subconsciously. However, you have to understand that you are not their potential mates. None of you. At all. Never will be either. And I know me saying that, you're challenging it in your heads like "Watch me π€". I was in your boat when it came to others celebs I was attracted to. But trust me, that thought is self-sabotage and is truly not worth it. Find some men that are attainable in your real lives. Learn how to take rejection. It's simple, but y'all overcomplicate shit all the time.
Y'all also harass the men in Nick's life because they are his potential partners. This isn't out of misogyny, but more out of being nosey, pestering little gremlins. Stop doing this.
Y'all claim to want to see the boys in their "lover" eras, but then when anyone comes into their space and is simply showing them a general love and respect, maybe even having flirty banter, y'all are quick to run them off. Shut up. Y'all don't deserve to see these boys in love because it's very clear that you do not want to.
π€¦ββοΈ Stop making shit up in your heads, and then get mad at the things you made up!
The past few videos were ruined by the damn community because y'all wouldn't even focus on the content- you all were too busy focusing on who the mystery voice was and who they were possibly lovingly looking at.
I understand curiousity, and I'm sure the triplets understand their fans will have a natural sense of curiosity. But why are we making TikToks about it, highlighting things in a way as if they actually are true/exist? A TikTok with the caption or text in the video that says "Did y'all hear that cough? Was that a girl? Who is she?" isn't going to make the girl randomly show up, nor is it relevant to even point out. There is more often than not, no person there. And also, if someone is not seen in the video but you can hear them, then that was done on purpose- so y'all can mind your fucking businesses.
If one of the triplets clarify and say "No, this is what was happening, _", then that is where the conversation ends. That is it. No further conspiracies. This means that they gave y'all the information you wanted, and nothing more. Take it and go.
π€·πΎββοΈ Popular fans are NOT celebrities.
Stop looking up to them or putting them on a pedestal as if they are. It leads to real trouble, and a lot of people start to bully them just for the sake that they get a lot of interactions or even get interactions from the triplets themselves.
A popular TikTok account named Gabbiexsturniolos literally was reported so much to the point where she was banned from TIkTok, all because she was a huge account, got interactions from the triplets, and was a girl who expressed her love for them.
Stop with the jealousy. They aren't better than you. They are regular people. We're all in the same point supporting these three short white boys from Boston who don't know who we are. That's it.
π Stop being ride or dies! Stop looking up to them as if they are Gods.
I understand that you love these men. They know it, they understand it, and they feel it. They see every post, see every fan art, see each and every one of you who attend their live shows, recognize the people they've met before, hold onto gifts near and dear to their hearts- they appreciate each and every single one of you for allowing them to be substantial parts of your lives.
But there is a fine line between being a supporter, and being blindly supportive.
You can support these boys without belittling people who don't.
Do not attack people for not being fans of the boys. Do not attack people for offering new or different perspectives. Do not attack the boys for making changes and evolving.
What you can do is call out the boys when they are wrong, in a way that is constructive and not dehumanizing. For example, they say the word "bitch" often when referring to women, and I've noticed it triggers people. You can inform them that the word hurts without calling the boys dickheads for it. More often than not, they aren't saying it in a misogynistic way, and it is just in their vernacular. But of course, it has misogynistic undertones and should be called out.
It is okay to call out bad behavior. But you have to remember that that is different from hating.
β¨ Accept change, and move appropriately.
These boys are not boys anymore. They are men. 22 years old now. They have new friends. They have lost others. They have outgrown certain habits. They have different opinions on certain topics. They date. They have sex. They have friends of different backgrounds. They are not the same as when they started, and they are not going to be the same when they end.
If you see that their content is not evolving in the same path as you are evolving, it is okay to detach. It is okay to find new interests. it is not okay to attack their character simply because your energy does not resonate with theirs anymore.
I've used this analogy before, but I'll restate it. Imagine two roads running parallel to each other. One represents your path, and the other represents the triplets'. Your roads will stay parallel for as long as you support and are entertained by them. They might intersect when you meet them or go to one of their live shows. But one day, the lines will diverge from each other. You will lose interest, or the videos just won't hit the same. That is okay. But detach in a way that is healthy.
I see many people create accounts dedicated on hating people that they used to have special interests in. It's okay to see something you don't like, and it's okay to be disconnected from your previous interests. But to automatically convert your frustrations of your disconnect into pure animosity that you put out into the universe, just so you gain something from it and satiate your own frustrations that you are projecting is disgusting.
CoryxKenshin talks about a lot of my points very, very coherently and cohesively, so I recommend you watch his video and apply it to your own experiences within the Sturniolo fandom.
All this post is meant to do is to show my perspective of what is happening to the community, and offer some of my two-cents into the much-needed conversation. I hope that we, as a community, can lift each other up across platforms, and do better amongst each other and the triplets. If you truly respect them, show it.
If the boys every see this (probably unlikely, although I definitely would love to just to see what they think in a way that is productive and constructive), I hope that they have an open and genuine conversation about these things. Don't hold back just because they are your fans who expect y'all to just be silly and lackadaisical about everything, because your fans can absolutely fuck up your lives if you're not careful.
