5 more years left!

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5 more years left!
Bought a tiny sketchbook into a kinda checklist thing for life.
Bare with me, but its basically a little diary for me to write down small accomplishments. Writing down something gives my brain little pops of serotonin and makes me think more positively about actually doing something.
But at the same time I'm fighting against my body's constant muscle spasms.
Cervical Dystonia is the closest thing that could explain it. The more I fight against the spasms, the more fatigued I feel.
Its like someone is pulling an elastic string taught around random parts of my body. My muscles in my arms and legs feel like I just worked out, yet all I did was walk to my car.
How to actually get a diagnosis? See a neurologist.
My appointment is scheduled for March 2026.
So having the tiny accomplishment book is my way of trying to stay sane and remind myself that Im actually worth continuing on in this horror world we live in.
Cause when members of Stray Kids have to go to military (depending on the state of the world by then), its gonna be a lot easier to bring me down.
I made a pact with my brother's dog Paco, that when he goes (also depending on my mom's status), I'm going. Got no legacy, just debt. 😬
back in the day, if stayville were on tumblr like that, we would be burning
Stray Kids stay having queer stay in shambles
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account
My safe space is tumblr, even if I keep trying to sabotage my happiness because I feel like i need to fit in a certain square
I present a cursed new way to identify your bias/wreckers
mine is just 3retcha it seems
Bringing this back since its back in the lexicon
Ive been stretching for the past few weeks, trying to loosen my back because im sure being so tense was squeezing nerves and causing my hand to tremble
No one believed i had horrible trembling cause im always anxious and moved a lot
Now that im no longer trembling, will anyone believe i ever had the issue?
Im low key freaking out but have no one to share this dumb thing with because I've been trembling for YEARS (started around 2018) and it affected my wants to do crafts and even doing something as small as hold my phone steady to take a nice picture (I couldn't take many pictures of the stray kids concert because of it and im in rage).
If this lasts, I've just overcome a huge disability no one believed i had but cause me so much anguish for years.....
Im day drinkin out of a racoon mug on a weekday
the world is on fire for me but my brain won't shut up long enough to let me get a breath
Happy Friday!
some ugly links for your viewing pleasure
anyways i just love the way kpop demon hunters stayed true to its roots in korean/asian culture, especially around the core theme of community vs individualism
the fact that it's not a single chosen one but a group of three
the fact that the honmoon is not powered by the hunters themselves but by the energy and love of the fans
the fact that gwi-ma turns people into demons by promising that he is the only one who can help them when he is in fact reliant on his army of demons to collect souls for him
the fact that "your idol" is about surrendering yourself to a single higher power while "golden" is about soaring to new heights together
the fact that gwi-ma preys on people's individual insecurities and shame to get inside their heads while rumi, mira, and zoey set them free in the end by encouraging them to embrace their differences and reminding them that they're not alone
the fact that you can see the audience cheering individually and even pushing into each other to get closer to the stage during "your idol"
while they're linking arms and cheering together and hugging during "what it feels like"
i have not seen the live action lilo and stitch but it feels like that movie sits on the opposite end of the spectrum from kpop demon hunters as a case study for how to tell a story in way that is culturally authentic and still resonates with a broader audience
and i think given that the core theme of the movie is all about community over individualism, the ending, particularly as it relates to rumi and jinu's budding romance, is really the perfect culmination of that broader theme
rumi and jinu's connection has all the hallmarks of that all-encompassing, all-consuming, borderline co-dependent first love where you keep your relationship a secret and sneak out of the house to meet up and feel like the other person is the ONLY person who really gets you
i'm the only one who can understand you, i'm the only one who will love you is the kind of thing that sounds romantic when you're 16 until you get older and realize how toxic it actually is and i love that the movie counters that in "what it feels like" with rumi realizing that she had that love and support all along from her girls, and later, from the fans who continue to cheer them on through their comeback
it's about connection and sisterhood and love and sharing your fears and lifting each other up and becoming stronger and better together
and as compelling as i found rumi/jinu and as much as i would like to see their relationship explored more in a sequel/series, i just really love that this movie, which is clearly targeted at young women, ends on the message that romantic love is not the end all be all, that friendship is just as important if not more so than a romantic partner, that single women can lead successful, fulfilling lives, that true happiness and freedom start from within
it's crazy that this message still seems revolutionary in 2025 but given the current state of the world, it feels more necessary than ever
sword bf 💜⚔️
can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying
reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them
Lament for America
On July 4, 1776 the Continental Congress adopted the "Declaration of Independence" leading to the revolutionary war with Great Britain from 1776 to 1783 that ended with an independent America and the end of the first British Empire. The newly independent Americans adopted a Constitution that placed citizens at the centre of their governance, founded on the belief that government's legitimacy flowed exclusively from the consent of the governed. This then revolutionary idea allows Americans to claim with some legitimacy their's is the oldest continually functioning democracy in the world. The constitution was then amended to include "The Bill of Rights" guaranteeing freedom of speech and religion, and the right to publish, possess arms, and assemble.
The framers of the constitution established a tricameral structure of government with Legislative, Judicial and Executive branches, with the Legislative branch as senior, along with checks and balances to ensure none of the three branches usurped the perogatives of the others or governed contrary to the underlying principles and commitments of the constitution. This form of government has survived for nearly two hundred and fifty years although not without challenges, the most serious being the civil war from 1861 to 1865. In the twentieth century there were at least two crises that tested its durability: the so called "Teapot Dome" scandal during President Warren Harding's administration in 1921, and the Watergate scandal during President Richard Nixon's administration between 1971 and 1974. In both cases the framework held and the republic continued, scarred but intact.
There has always been tension between the animating impulses of the American experiment, one celebrating the unfettered rights of the individual and the other seeking to corral, harness and attenuate that innately selfish drive. But the centre has held while still allowing for a remarkable and unprecendented explosion of material well being, innovation and freedom, not just in America but in many other parts of the world as well.
Americans are taught their country is the best in the world, in fact the best ever in the world, even though American history, like that of any nation, has significant blind spots and many dark corners. Since the Second World War it has, sometimes reluctantly, assumed the role of superpower and, for democracies at least, the one essential nation. At the end of the Cold War America stood as a colossus, unequalled in economic and military might. It didn't always use that power wisely and stumbled, sometimes blindly, into confrontations and entanglements that cost it and others dearly in human lives, dollars and political capital.
The success of America propelled excellence on so many fronts, whether scientific, medical, intellectual and the arts, while simultaneously expanding the American family to include groups that were historically marginalized or worse. This, along with the material success, was the hallmark of the triumph of the ideas that were first expressed in 1776 as the outcome of the Enlightenment but with a uniquely American interpretation. For a time the optimism that followed infected much of the world with an evangelical certainty the right model for human organization had finally been found.
And then everything changed.
I'll leave it to future historians to parse what triggered a seismic shift in the views of many Americans although some of the more obvious are the rapid embrace of free trade with the resulting loss of manufacturing jobs in America, the near collapse of the world financial system in 2007 with its fallout landing disproportionately on the American public and not the banks and bankers who were its cause, the sense the southern border had ceased to exist and that America was being flooded with illegal immigrants, the ravages of the opioid epidemic first unleashed by unscrupulous business people and physicians who seemed to emerge wealthier and unscathed by its fallout, and, of course, the COVID pandemic which brought into sharp focus the competing American narratives, placing medical expertise and science against the ingrained individualism of most Americans. All of these and more contributed to the feeling by many Americans that their country was broken and someone had broken it. And the obvious culprit was the group that had run the country for most of the twentieth and the first part of the twenty- first centuries. This amorphous group was tagged the "liberal elite" or "the coastal elites" and it didn't help that their more liberal flank simultaneously embarked on an attempt to fundamentally shift the values of the nation on issues like gender, race and the relations between the sexes.
Not only was that leadership seen as responsible for much of the malaise affecting many Americans, but it was viewed as not caring, in fact, as treating those on the out as less worthy. At the same time a small number of Americans began to accumulate wealth on a relative scale not seen since the Gilded Age, wealth they flaunted with yachts, space trips, obscenely extravagant celebrations, and all the lifestyle accoutrements many aspire to. It's little wonder what began as an inarticulate and largely unformed sense of injustice turned into white hot rage, that rage then solidifying into the absolute binaries of us and them with no space for comity or even communication in between.
Previous generations had their share of conspiracy theorists and malcontents. And they have done damage to America. But, unlike their predecessors, today's demagogues or wannabe leaders have access to communication tools not even dreamed of by their forebearers. The internet has so transformed human interraction and communication that the tools that were previously available to correct, adjust and engage are worthless. Everyone is an expert and everyone's opinion, no matter how extreme, is valid.
The view that elites have betrayed America taints many things that have made America great. Its science, its medicine, its institutions of higher learning, its arts, are all thrown onto the bonfire of distrust and dislike along with the most basic tools of scientific research, discovery and understanding. Suddenly up is down, white is black, and, in the words of Kelly Anne Conway, facts can be ''alternative". Once you cross that line the way back is difficult if not impossible. The normal tools of dialogue, observation and understanding are useless as every attempt to reach out is viewed with suspician and distrust. The late great American writer Joan Didion coined a phrase for a different context that I think describes the world now inhabited by millions of Americans: a world of ''magical thinking'', a kind of childlike belief that anything you think or believe is true and not subject to adult tests of fact and reality.
While it's possible to understand the roots of the current fury in parts of the right, it is less easy to understand how Donald Trump became it's avatar. From his initial descent down that gilded escalator to his astonishing victory in the 2016 election and then, even more extraordinary, his re-election in 2024, none of it fits any normal rational framework. Here we have a New York developer with, to put it mildly, a rather dodgy past somehow reaching out and connecting with disaffected Americans all over the country and, particularly, in those areas most alienated from everything New York represents. Not only has he connected, he's become a messianic figure marching towards an ill defined MAGA ''promised land''.
The language of religion is appropriate as millions of evangelical Christians flocked to Trump despite his well known and, one would have thought, disqualifying, life choices and history. Those of us not part of evangelical Christianity or MAGA find this incomprehensible and yet, in two elections, evangelical Christians voted overwhelmingly for Donald Trump. Their support only solidified after two assassination attempts where, for some, divine intervention saved his life. And this illustrates the near impossibility of having a dialogue between those who believe in science, humanism and verifiable facts, and those who believe in a literal activist deity first described in the Bronze Age.
Unlike the first Trump administration, America now has a government with a plan, a timeline and an implementation strategy. Much of the plan was laid out in the "Project 2025" document that Democrats warned about to little avail during the election. The strategy for its implementation includes undermining the pillars of American democracy and civil society by, amongst other things, removing people from positions of influence and power who might push back or whistleblow; attacking and weakening the crown jewels of the American advanced education system; undermining public confidence in science, medicine and what is described as "mainstream media"; demeaning the courts; politicizing the armed forces and deploying them domestically; and taking a wrecking ball to the norms of civilized discourse between opposing viewpoints, all with the goal of completely disrupting the existing order. This is exactly the strategy that Steve Bannon, Donald Trump's advisor during part of his first term, advocated.
While its "shock and awe" approach to governing has placed most of its opponents on their back heels, there are contradictions within the governing coalition that might cause it to unravel although, thus far, it has been remarkably sturdy. First there is the disparate nature of the coalition, including disaffected and mostly poor white voters, tech billionaires, libertarians, traditional conservative Republicans, survivalists, antisemites and a seemingly endless parade of hangers on's and opportunists. The one thing that unites them is their anger at, and contempt for, the "elites" even though some would in normal times be part of that group. The second, for many at least, is an almost evangelical belief in Donald Trump himself, one that shelters him from criticism or even the consequences of unlawful behaviour. For a minority, the tech billlionaires and elected Republicans especially, the real motivation is almost certainly self interest, whether opportunities for greater wealth or power, or fear of losing what they already have. This sounds a lot like Putin's Russia.
The greatest vulnerability for Donald Trump and MAGA lies with the President himself. There are two major impulses behind Donald Trump: his unquenchable need for approval expressed through praise and acclaim, and, in some ways a measure of the first, his insatiable need to accumulate wealth. These are the core motivations in the administration and virtually every major action it takes is connected to them. I'm not a psychologist but my life and work experience taught me that deeply insecure people will go to any length to feed their needs and constantly refill the void at the centre of their self esteem. Place such a person in the Presidency and those needs warp every major choice by him and his government and, combine that with the cult like admiration of millions, and you arrive where we are today.
The Trump administration is likely the most corrupt in the two hundred and fifty year history of the Republic. There have been other corrupt administrations but nothing on the scale of today. And we are only one hundred plus days in. It's no exaggeration to say the core objective of the administration is the enrichment of the Trump family and its closest friends and allies, and it's helpful to view most decisions by the government through that lens. By some estimates, the Trump family has already been enriched by at least five hundred to a billion dollars through schemes such as its crypto currency where it is now possible for anyone to buy influence with the President and government without fear of any legal blowback.
Even in a foreign policy supposedly driven by the mantra of "America first"the powerful tools of the U.S. government are being warped to serve the President's needs. An example of this is the approval of a golf course in Vietnam where threats of massive tariffs on a much smaller and weaker country caused it to not only approve a Trump golf course and resort but to pay for it. Of course there wasn't an explicit and public link between the two actions but the government of Vietnam understood what it had to do to get in the good graces of the President and his family. And tracking the many Trump interests throughout the Middle East finds that same logic playing out, influencing and warping America's policies and actions in the region. That doesn't mean every decision by the administration is directly related to these self serving goals or that some decisions may not be the right ones by most standards, just that all ultimately are in service of those goals whether through increasing the likelihood of the continued control of government or more directly.
Even on the administration's signal issue of immigration enforcement there are tracks leading back to the enrichment of members of the family or their close friends and allies. And while this massive grift is going on the normal counter balances from the media, from law firms, from institutions of higher learning and from civil society organizations are muted as they attempt to fend off existential threats from the administration. And the Legislative branch, fully controlled by Republicans, does nothing.
One thing that is striking about this administration is its gratuitous cruelty and anger. Its approach to immigration enforcement is an example of this where some of the most vulnerable amongst us are treated without any acknowledgement of their humanity. This may be part of a deliberate strategy to frighten would be illegal immigrants and, in that regard, it may be working but, even so, it speaks volumes about those who are devising and implementing it and their supporters. Empathy is completely missing as the targets of these actions are stripped of their humanity if only to isolate them from the sympathies of the broader American public. This is not a new or novel strategy. In fact, it is taken chapter and verse from the playbook of authoritarians throughout history as they mobilized majorities through fear of minorities, and it never ends well. History will judge it harshly but, in the meantime, millions will suffer and many will die.
So, two hundred and fifty years after The Declaration of Independence, the great American idea is at a crossroads. It is turning from an optimistic, outward looking society into one whose characteristics are fear and loathing of the "other"; distrust of science and learning; and isolationism, including turning away from its boundless and hopeful belief in the future. Ironically, this is caused by its own loss of confidence in itself as it changes into just another big power imposing its will on those who are weaker, all in the service of a short sighted, dark and ultimately self defeating view of its relationship to the world. And this, under the watch of a kleptocratic government whose first interests are never those of the people it governs except so far as is necessary maintain popular support and power.
America is in a very dark place right now and I don't know if it's possible for it to regain faith in itself, and to return to a world where it serves as an example for others. The damage may be irreversible even if the weight of corruption around the current administration finally drags it down. I don't even know if America will be capable of holding fair and free elections in 2026 and 2028. But I do know it's in the interests of everyone who cares about democracy, human rights, international stability and the continued progress towards a better, more humane and comfortable world that America pivots back to its role, no matter how hyperbolic, of being "a shining city on a hill".
Just sayin
GH
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Source: Lament for America
I've been stalked twice while walking my dog (by someone in a BMW lol) and I still find myself repugnant and unable to see myself as attractive enough for anyone
The trauma is too deep it may be a while before I "love myself" to be able to "love someone else"
And I'm slowly coming to terms with that. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
The Grumps go to Universal Studios By Spidereye5 on reddit
My Journey to Escape the War in Gaza
My name is Abdelmajed. I never imagined I’d be sharing my story like this, but life in Gaza has become unbearable. I am a survivor of the war here, and in the blink of an eye, everything I once knew—my home, my safety, my community—was ripped away from me.
The war has transformed Gaza into a graveyard of broken dreams. The buildings that once stood as symbols of life and resilience are now piles of rubble. Every corner is filled with the echoes of explosions. Every moment is shrouded in uncertainty. There is no security. There is no stability. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
Basic needs have become luxuries. Food is scarce. Clean water is even scarcer. Hospitals are overwhelmed and under-resourced, and there is almost no medical care to be found. Every night, families go to bed hungry, praying they’ll wake up to see another day. The cost of basic necessities has skyrocketed, and it’s become a daily battle just to survive.
I’ve seen things I never thought possible—standing in long lines for a piece of bread, rationing every drop of water, and watching my people suffer in silence. I have lost everything—my home, my safety, my dignity.
Escape from Gaza is my only hope, but it’s almost impossible without financial help. The cost of evacuation is far beyond my means, and without support, I’m trapped in a warzone with no way out.
I’m reaching out to you now, in the hopes that someone, anyone, can help. I am not asking for luxury. I am asking for a chance—just a chance—to live. A chance to escape this never-ending cycle of fear, destruction, and loss. A chance to rebuild my life somewhere safe, where I can begin again, where I can find hope once more.
My name is Abdelmajed, and I am a survivor of the war in Gaza. Everything I once knew has been taken away—my home, my safety, and the people
Any amount you can give will help me get closer to safety. Even the smallest donation will make a difference—it could be the lifeline I need to survive. If you are unable to donate, please share my story. The more people who hear it, the better the chance that I can find the support I desperately need.
Your kindness and support mean the world to me. You’re not just helping me escape a war; you’re giving me a chance to live, to rebuild, to breathe again.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring.
Vetted by @gazavetters