There comes a moment in life when choices can no longer be postponed. A moment when you come to understand that people change, that effort is not always rewarded, and that even the things you have fought hardest to preserve may not be worth the cost in the end. Life is not always fair. In truth, it rarely is.
Out of pride-or perhaps out of love-we cross oceans to offer an apology, to extend a hand in peace, only to have it left hanging in the air. We pour our strength, our time, and our hearts into relationships, only to be rejected or abandoned. We do everything we can to keep old friendships alive, while those we cherish quietly stop answering, as though we had never mattered at all.
We change our eating habits, discipline our bodies, push ourselves through endless hours of exercise, all in the hope of becoming more acceptable in the eyes of others. Yet the moment we indulge ourselves in company, we are branded weak, lacking self-control, unable to resist temptation.
When we finally walk away from a partner who has spent months humiliating us and draining every ounce of our happiness, we are called selfish. Weak. Unable to cope with a relationship. We are judged as heartless simply because the person whose actions left us with no choice but to leave has not yet recovered. "But they loved you so much," they say.
If we devote our time to friends, we neglect our partner. If we choose our partner, we are accused of abandoning our friends. If we carry a little extra weight, we are "fat." If we lose it, we are suddenly "too thin," perhaps even anorexic. Refuse to chase every passing trend, and you become outdated, unattractive, yesterday's news.
A woman is told she is not beautiful unless she fits impossible measurements. A man is made to feel inadequate unless his body is sculpted into perfection, as though only the beautiful deserve success. Work relentlessly, and you are a workaholic. Work less, and you are lazy.
Make your own decisions, and you are reckless for not seeking advice. Ask others for guidance and follow it, and suddenly you are incapable of thinking for yourself. Drink too much at a party, and you become an embarrassment. Stay sober, and you are called dull, a spoilsport who doesn't know how to enjoy life.
No matter what we do- no matter how much effort, sacrifice, or sincerity we pour into our lives-it is never enough for everyone. Someone will always criticize you. Someone will always search for your flaws. Someone will always insist that you have accomplished nothing.
But life has never been merely black and white, good or bad. It exists in the countless shades of grey between them. It rises and falls. It flourishes, falters, heals, and begins again.
In the end, what others say matters far less than the voice you choose to believe. Do not allow their judgments to define your worth. Do not let anyone diminish you or persuade you to abandon your own path. And above all, stop trying to please everyone.
Because that is the one goal no human being will ever achieve.
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