OU MY GOSH OH MY GOSH WE RETURN AGAIN TO THE INCREDIBLE TRUMAN AND RYLAND PARALLELS OHHH I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS!!!! The final show!!!! Oh he’s free! He’s saved the world and not only that, he’s free!!!!
On Grace’s relationship with DuBois and Shapiro in Project Hail Mary
***book spoilers ahead***
I want to do a quick dive into the infamous scene between Grace, DuBois, and Shapiro in chapter 17 (pp. 283–285 in my copy) because an idea occurred to me and I can’t rest until I dig into it. This is the scene in which DuBois informs Grace of the sexual nature of his relationship with Shapiro.
Something about the conversation didn’t sit quite right for me. Upon reflection, I wanted to take a step back from (or perhaps, as it happens, a step further into) my aroace reading of Grace and get to the bottom of what Weir’s intention was in writing it. While I do believe that the aroace reading is strongly supported by the text, I don’t believe that it was specifically intended, which brings us to these points:
The reader is meant to understand that Grace feels a general social disconnect from the Project Hail Mary team stemming from his poor self-confidence
The reader is meant to perceive his total lack of awareness with regard to how highly he ranks in the project’s hierarchy of power
These two points, having previously been established, are both cemented by the scene. Grace is uncomfortable being enlightened to the details of DuBois and Shapiro’s sex life, and he doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that both scientists view him as a superior. It’s heavily implied that DuBois initiates the conversation because he feels the need to report developments in his workplace relationships to a higher-up, and I firmly believe this to be the case—he comments on the prudence of informing Grace on the subject—but that motivation alone doesn’t account for all of what he says. The way I see it, just about anyone alive (regardless of their personal stance on romance or sex) would feel awkward in Grace’s shoes, which begs the question: Why did DuBois and Shapiro both overshare so brazenly?
The first possible interpretation: Knowing that their relationship is doomed, they’ve elected to completely set aside social decorum in the interest of enjoying their time together to the fullest.
The second possible interpretation: They wanted to test Grace’s receptivity to becoming their third.
Stay with me. We can infer that the conversation was premeditated—DuBois launches into it very suddenly, and the first thing he does when Shapiro returns from the restroom is update her on the basics of what’s been said. This is clearly something that they discussed sharing with Grace in advance. Furthermore:
DuBois gently counters Grace on the merits of entering a relationship under the otherwise bleak circumstances
He’s overly blunt and forthright about specifics, such as the lack of need for condoms and the fact that he and Shapiro have both undergone thorough medical examinations
When Grace demonstrates disinterest, DuBois drops one last hint, which is what really sealed the deal for me: “It’s quite pleasurable.” Grace still doesn’t take the bait, so DuBois begins to back off. After briefing Shapiro on the status of the conversation, he deftly changes the subject by pivoting into science talk, but Shapiro gives another independent push: She interrupts the beginning of Grace’s lecture to openly invite DuBois to sex after the lesson, and then they both look at Grace. Grace interprets this gesture as them being “ready for their lesson,” but I would argue that it’s really a classic case of unreliable narration. He misses the cue.
I imagine that at this point, Shapiro (like DuBois) is willing to give up the cause, but we get one more small tidbit of insight: Grace asks (out of what I can only assume is morbid curiosity) if DuBois sticks to his convention of using Shapiro’s professional title during sex, and they both answer affirmatively. Just prior, we hear Shapiro address DuBois by his first name, and prior to that (directly before introducing the topic of sex), DuBois encourages Grace to address him by his first name as well. Granted, that encouragement was prompted—Grace makes it known that he would prefer to drop the formalities in private settings, given that he views the three of them as equals—but DuBois is shown time and again to be someone who highly values professionalism in and out of the workplace. He politely declines Grace’s invitation to address him as Ryland.
Power dynamics seem to play a role in his sex life with Shapiro, as evidenced by her disclosing that she “kind of likes” his use of her title in the bedroom. With that in mind, I don’t think it’s a stretch to conclude that they would both be into the idea of incorporating (what they mutually perceive to be) actual power dynamics into the relationship through the inclusion of Grace.
Circling back to DuBois’s staunch professionalism, I would cite that as further evidence that he’s coming on to Grace in this scene—discussing the minute details of your sex life with your boss is about as far from professional as you can get. Much of what he says is superfluous and irrelevant to the goal of reporting on the existence of a sexual relationship under obligation, unless you factor in the possibility that an obligatory report wasn’t his only goal.
As a final note, I remember the DuBois-Shapiro scene in the movie sticking out to me even upon my first viewing, just because of how oddly it plays out: The two of them are cuddling up at the pre-launch party, and DuBois seems to intentionally make eye contact with Grace from across the bar—who, being caught off guard and slightly uncomfortable, nods in acknowledgement and looks away. I wasn’t sure what to make of that prior to reading the book, but now it stands to me as a reference to the existing undercurrent between the characters in the text. In both versions, DuBois and Shapiro make a bid for Grace’s attention, and Grace is unreceptive. Given that no pre-launch party scene occurs in the book, I have to conclude that the inclusion of this detail in the movie was intentional and carries subtextual significance.
Obviously, if we take this interpretation at face value, it’s more fuel to the fire that is the aroace reading of Grace. It can be used to argue that he rejects amatonormativity on all levels—not just in his scant experience pursuing longterm committed relationships, but in his failure to so much as entertain the idea of a fling or friends with benefits arrangement, even when an easy opportunity presents itself. Romantic affairs never seem to cross his mind. He’s oblivious to the way his relationship with Stratt is perceived until confronted on the subject by DuBois, and he’s quicker to accuse her of sexism upon learning that she sought an all-male team of astronauts than he is to put stock in her actual line of reasoning. If DuBois and Shapiro were indeed trying to make a move on him, it’s no wonder that it flew over his head.
Even beyond the aroace reading, though, this interpretation still contributes to the narrative: It showcases Grace’s emotional isolation on a broader scale and demonstrates how grossly he underestimates the regard his associates have for him. He’s woefully out of his depth in the rigid world of international negotiations that he gets thrust into, ignorant to the degree of sociopolitical power and authority he’s been granted through his close proximity to Stratt, and unaware of what makes his participation so crucial to the project’s success. It only follows that he would also be immune to flirtation, never recognizing his own assets or what might make him uniquely desirable. Thematically, this underlines his later growth in finding a purpose, building the courage and confidence needed to fulfill that purpose, and embracing love (however unconventional its form) as a driving force.
this post is inspired in part by this one by @cheshirepirouette and sponsored in part by convos w @asteriis and @indouscurse here’s to y’all!! this post also goes out to my brothers, who are pale as hell for reasons unbeknownst to all of us (this is a joke).
like any good headcanon, this started as a joke because i thought to myself: Ryland sounds like the type of name that somebody’s Black child would have and only use on church sundays. nobody actually has ever called him that in his whole entire life, except maybe his mama SOMETIMES and that’s why he doesn’t remember it right away. i feel like every Black person knows somebody who is called literally anything except their god given name. people call him lil r, lil grace, gracie, ry, ryry, riri, RG, lando, mr. grace, dr. grace, but nobody calls him Ryland, which is part of why he Can’t Remember for so long.
so of course i went back to the source material to see if he ever actually mentioned being white anywhere and unfortunately it is very much at the beginning of the book. so THEN i started to think about how i could get around that while remaining at least largely canon compliant (as a little treat for myself). what i came up with is what i have affectionately dubbed my “litebrite baby” headcanon.
grace was not particularly dark skinned to begin with, and then spent years in a coma with literally no sunlight. he is downright vampiric by the time that he wakes up, and upon seeing his white ass skin, assumes that he is in his own words, a Caucasian male.
unfortunately for him, this fits in really well with his theme of lack of identity and lack of connection. i think for most Black people it would be extremely hard to forget that we’re Black regardless of how light or dark our skin tone is. but throughout the book, even when Grace is thinking about his old, slowly resurfacing memories, he never thinks about family, he never thinks about friends. except for his students and Project Hail Mary, he is completely unmoored.
i’ve seen a few different headcanons for why this might be: he was an only child whose single parent died young, he was cut off by his parents for some reason or another, he just isn’t ever triggered to remember. but no matter the reason, grace is disconnected from crucial aspects of himself. i think that by making him Black, and his Blackness something he can’t remember, it add an extra heartbreaking layer to his characterization. Blackness is such a communal experience, and when it’s not, it leaves behind an ache. growing up Black in White Suburbia i know well both the experience of clinging to one’s own in a hostile world AND the hurt that comes with being severed from one’s community. grace loses so much of himself with the amnesia, unable to recall who he is at the deepest of levels, and i think if he could remember to grieve it, it would devastate him.
i do think he would remember eventually, either when his hair starts growing out (because in the book Armando shaves him iirc), or when he can finally catch a glimpse of his reflection clearly, or when he has a memory of someone in his family. my personal belief is he has a memory beamed directly into his brain of asking “Mama, am I white?” and his poor, long-suffering mom saying, “Now who the hell told you that?”
and then it still never becomes relevant because he has negative desire to explain the nuances of human racial categories to an alien who quite literally cannot see color.
Mini comic based on a scene from bloodymary fic "where nothing bleeds" by intrstellarisms, really enjoyed it and wanted to draw one of my favorite scenes from it (link for the fic).
This has been a lingering thought of mine regarding how Roger is typically depicted: isn’t it kind of odd that this kid who is a “natural sadist” and is also a supposed symbol of violence mostly drawn as black/blasian
Forgive me, for I’m just a bit confused where it came from. Please let me know if there’s anything wrong with what I’m thinking as well. Thank you!
Hello I'm going to approach this with care!
When people draw or interpret roger as a person of color, it usually isn't coming from malicious intent, but from the way he is physically described in the book: "The dark boy" (pg 21); "he was not noticeably darker than when he had dropped in" and "shock of black hair" (page 71); "swarthiness" (pg 74). These descriptions make him racially ambiguous to many readers, especially compared to boys likw ralph and jack, who are described in more conventionally anglo saxon way.
I can't fully speak on Golding's behalf, especially because overt racial prejudice is not a major focus of the novel itself...and if you sat there and said it's problematic for one of the only racially ambiguous characters to embody extreme cruelty, it is also worth acknowledging that Simon (another character many readers interpret as nonwhite coded) represents the novel’s strongest moral good. Simon functions as a Christ figure in the story, while Roger functions as one of its clearest symbols of unrestrained violence, true evil. Because of this, I dont think Golding was assigning morality based on race..rather I think their physical descriptions contribute symbolically to the roles they play within the book.
And simon works super interestingly in this context.. as a Christ figure, he mirrors many aspects of Jesus. his isolation, his spiritualness, his retreat into the forest (like the garden of gethesemane) before death, and ultimately his martyrdom. Historically , Jesus himself was a Middle Eastern Jewish man, not the fair skinned, blue eyed image that's often normalized in western art and religious imagery. By describing Simon in racially ambiguous ways, Golding may intentionally be challenging the traditional westernized depiction of holiness and purity. And this also connects to some of the novel’s broader themes like the influence of british colonial culture, imperialism, and social conditioning/indoctrinationof the boys’ worldview.
Anyway, I like to think Roger and Ralph work as important contrasts on opposing sides. at first, the novel reflects the hierarchies and assumptions the boys inherit from their society prior to arriving on the island...But as civilization collapses, violence becomes less tied to conventional ideas of superiority and more tied to power itself. So once ralph becomes hunted, lotf stops being only about the oppression of marginalized groups and becomes a broader statement about domination: the impulse to conquer eventually turns on everyone, even those who once benefited from the system
i love you lab grown diamonds i love you slavery-free chocolate i love you community gardens i love you fact that the insulin patent was sold for $1 i love you locally produced meat and milk i love you streets turned into walkable parks i love you little reminders that Things Do Not Have To Be This Way and there are people working to build a better world!!
i love you smog tests for cars i love you clean air regulations i love you HEPA filters i love you dam removal i love you planting native gardens i love you monarch butterflies (up 64% in 2026!) i love you working for decades to bring the condors back from zero to 300+ in the wild i love you inventing little machines to pick up the plastic fishing nets and other trash in the sea i love you occupational health and safety regulations i love you environmental protection agencies i love you unions i love you social aid programs i love you food not bombs i love you sea shepherds i love you most countries stopping industrial whaling and more humpback whales now than ever before i love you saving the forests i love you little libraries i love you take what you need cupboards/fridges i love you secular food pantries i love you public bathrooms i love you all-ages playgrounds i love you museums i love you aquariums + zoos i love you restoring peregrine falcons to nyc i love you letting beavers fix the river i love you releasing wolves into the wild i love you bison recovery efforts i love you landback i love you reducing light pollution i love you freeway sound baffle walls i love you advertising bans i love you public outreach and education i love you maria montessori i love you queer clinics i love you people working really hard and succeeding at fixing the world and making it safer for all living beings!
Shout-out to aromantic people whose lives are so fucking busy that they periodically forget what day of the week it is. today is Wednesday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.
dude can i talk about ‘Lars And The Real Girl’ for a second please
okay im going to
Every single female character in that movie was absolutely amazing. Shoutout to Karen, Cindy, Dr. Dagmar and Mrs. Gruner. They were the ones that got people to understand. The ones that brought the community together. The ones who gave him space when Lars wanted it and pushed to support him when he needed it.
When Mrs. Gruner gives Bianca the flowers and Lars goes: ‘Those are nice, huh? And they’re not real, so they’ll last forever.’ Bro. Dont even get me started. (Im already started so ill keep talking anyway) It’s a reflection of why Bianca is there. She’s there because she’s a partner Lars can build and construct without the worry of that person abandoning him. Shes fake. Gus, in his own words, left as soon as he could without thinking of Lars. He abandoned his brother. Lars’ mother died before he even opened his eyes. She “abandoned” him. And it’s safe to assume that his father was very much emotionally unavailable during Lars’ upbringing.
He has not had a stable relationship before. Sure, people in the community try to reach out, but that’s not enough to reassure him that things wont fall through as soon as it starts to get comfortable. This is also why he gets so upset when Bianca wasnt there to play Scrabble with him. She is the one thing Lars knows for sure will never leave him…because she cant..1) she doesnt have working legs and 2) she’s a doll. So when she’s swept away and not with him immediately? That feeling of abandonment comes back. That fear of being left alone again comes back.
But let me just say, the community in this movie is absolutely beautiful. What do you mean a whole town came together to pretend a doll was alive for just one person? Devoting their time and sacrificing their social norms so that Lars can work through his repressed emotions and feelings. The porch scene with all the flowers? Perfect. The hospital designating a whole protocol for when Bianca is wheeled in? Perfect. People talking TO Bianca and asking her questions knowing full well it’s a delusion? Literal tears.
When Lars begins to acknowledge his acceptance within the community and starts to open up more is when his relationship with Bianca crumbles. That was so important to me. He bowls with a group of people and comes back and him and Bianca start fighting. Because he’s subconsciously realizing he doesnt need her anymore, so his brain is preparing that distance. It’s creating more reasons to separate itself from the delusion that Bianca is a person and a person that he needs; this is prominent in the funeral scene and when she dies. He’s letting go. He’s recognizing these people — this town — will not leave him. He’s comprehending just how much everybody cares about him. He’s understanding the love thats put towards him. He’s learning to trust.
imagine you’re a man ALONE in SPACE and your best friend is an ALIEN and you look like RYAN GOSLING and suddenly your ALIEN BUDDY who looks like a ROCK so you called him ROCKY tells you there is a HUMAN covered in BLOOD and you break into his SUBMARINE that he was WELDED INTO and you find that the ONLY OTHER HUMAN FOR THOUSANDS OF LIGHT YEARS is the youtuber MARKIPLIER
