he is left alone with his thoughts, and with the tendrils of conversation waiting to be said, already having been said. ilya does not know what to think, his entire mind is on edge now, as jace continues to say he knows him, he knows all about him, and that he had some memory of a life with him that had never been. he doesn't understand how it could be so, and he fears it's some ploy, a rival agency sending an operative to plant seeds of doubt in his mind, to slowly drive him mad and finally be rid of the red peril.
if that were true, why would they choose this way? why would they send a man when he had given no outward indication of his attractions to the same sex? would they think he would be repulsed, and therefore maddened faster? too many questions began the marching feet again, the edges of his vision turning a soft pink, threatening to redden and ruin this little corner of idyllic peace he'd had before the magician had shown up.
before he has a chance to continue thinking, he is drawn out of his thoughts, the marching ebbing ever so slightly as he smells the tea. ilya is cautious when he brings it to his lips and takes a sip--exactly how he took it, down to the last grain of sugar. it felt like more than a lucky guess. he wasn't sure if that unsettled him more or calmed him, there were so many warring emotions right now it was hard to separate them. in ilya's mind, in the public, that was a threat, so he tried to calm himself.
he wasn't given the chance.
this picture jace holds in front of his face...it's...them. ilya snatches it from the other man's hand, bringing it closer, examining it for signs of photo editing. there are none. this picture is as genuine as the clothes on his body, as the tea in his stomach. but how? his mouth goes dry, brows furrow as he looks over the edge of the photograph, capturing jace's eyes. he cannot even think of how to begin the multitude of questions that arise with the existence of this picture.
"...how? where did you--what is this?" the anger comes a bit too hot when he speaks, he slams the picture down next to the magician's tea a bit too hard. "who are you." there's an accusatory tone that lashes out in those words. how dare you, who are you really, what do you want from me? he wants to know all theese answers and more. eyes close as he takes in a shuddering breath, regulating his breathing, his hand still covering the photograph as he tries to make sense of this.
"it is...yours. this holds no value for me," he breathes, barely above a whisper, "what do you want?" ilya’s hand moves from the photo and he sees the handwriting--his, or some incredible facsimile, “my luchik. central park, july...” it was in russian, “no one can read cyrillic cursive, not even russians,” he says, and a feeling of deja vu shudders down his spine as he once agains locks eyes with the magician, more than unsettled.