Barty stumbled onto the stone floors of the astronomy tower. It was mid winter and freezing outside. He recognizes now that wearing only a button up and slacks probably wasn't the best decision, but when has he ever made a smart decision?
The harsh winter air bit at his nose and cheeks, but he walked over to the edge of the broken railing.
He stared out at the stars, so beautiful. The view from up there was always a blessing and a curse all at once.
He could see the stars and the lights from the boats across the water.
He could also see and feel the temptation to just take the next step off the edge each time.
He never did take that step. He was always interrupted before he could actually do it. The moment in time always just barely slips out of his grasp.
“You'll freeze if you don't wear more layers.”
Barty recognized the voice immediately. He always did. He could recognize Evan just from his breathing if he truly wanted too.
“Since when do you care about me freezing, Rosie?”
Barty smirked and heard the sigh from behind him. Evan hated being called Rosie, however he knew he didn't truly or he'd have made him stop by now. He never seemed to truly care when it was Barty.
“We both know I've always cared.”
That has him pausing for a moment. His breaths that kept puffing up and turning white in the freezing air now erased from the image. Evan always dropped little truth bombs like that.
Quite frankly, it scared Barty. Sometimes he'd be telling him off and then the next he'd be whispering in his ear that he's worth more than anything in this world.
Since they're supposed to be friends it's a bit odd and only uncomfortable because of the extensive love he has for Evan, and Barty knows he loves him back.
They both do.
They just refuse to acknowledge it. Always letting each other slip away.
Barty sucks in a breath, the cold air piercing at his lungs before he finally speaks.
“Going soft on me, Rosie?”
Evan chuckles, finally walking to stand next to Barty and leaning against the rickety old rails. They're cold. Too cold.
He drapes a jacket around his back and looks at the stars with him.
It's one of those rare moments when no one is around to judge them or bother either of them. It's different without Regulus, Pandora, or even Dorcas around.
It's always different.
The silence stretches farther, the words have more meaning, and decisions are made that last forever on these kinds of nights.
“You could say something is going soft.”
Instead of laughing or saying something funny back Barty just hummed whilst staring at the stars.
“Would you catch me if I fell, Rosie?”
The question came out of nowhere. Just a thought he had randomly. He didn't expect an answer. If he did expect one he could be disappointed by it.
He hated being disappointed. His father had done that more than enough throughout his life, so he learned to not want anything. He didn't expect his father to love him, so he wasn't disappointed when he didn't.
He doesn't expect Evan to love him.
“I wouldn't even let you fall.”
Barty blinks and tugs the jacket a little closer to him. He turns his head slightly to look at Evans' side profile.
He's beautiful.
The slight curve of his nose. His blonde hair blowing in the breeze just barely. The tired droop of his eyes.
Evan Rosier is stunningly beautiful.
Jaw dropping.
If he asked Barty would be on his knees begging just for him to look at him.
Dignity? Never heard of it.
“I love you, Barty.”
Barty blinked once, then twice. What had he just said? Sure, he knew. Of course he knew. Everyone at Hogwarts knew. Neither of them had said it loud though.
Sure, they made out and did things regular best friends don't do, but saying it was different.
Acknowledging it was different.
“You ain't gotta say it back. I just need you to know.”
He immediately shook his head, eyebrows furrowing as he let go of the jacket and grabbed Evan by the shoulder, and turned him to face him.
“I love you too, Rosie.”
Evan blinked and smiled just barely. It was more of a smirk, but that was also the most he'd get from him. A smirk from Evan was a grin to Barty. He learned that early on. He learned everything about Evan.
Any chance he could to learn more. He'd never let a moment slip away.
The acknowledgement hung in the air. They had decided. Just the words were enough confirmation. Things wouldn't be different, but they wouldn't be the same.
It was an unspoken agreement. They weren't together. They were just Barty and Evan. Nothing less, and nothing more.
Years of pining after each other, heated makeouts, and jealous fights.
All for it to end with three words being exchanged on top of the Astronomy tower.
Who knew it could be so simple?
“It's late.”
Evan paused quietly, still leaning on the railing.
“We should head back in.”
Barty just hummed in agreement and nodded. He took a step back and sighed.
“Yeah.”
He turned around and began walking towards the exit. His steps echoing, before he heard a creaking sound and a gasp.
He whipped around quickly confused, before his eyes widening at the view of Evan hanging onto the railing just barely hanging on.
“EVAN”
He rushed towards Evan, reaching to grab his hand. He's close. He's never let anything to do with Evan slip away.
Never.
Not once.
He won't be starting today, but just for a moment he sees Evan and his life at Hogwarts flash before his eyes.
His beautiful rose. All thorns and beauty.
Always so willing to be pricked at the chance of holding him just for a moment.
…
A moment later the railing breaks. Evan slips and plummets faster than you'd think. The sickening crunch of his head on the ground echoing, and a scream from a teacher monitoring the halls.
Barty stares at the ground from above. His breathing is shallow and the cold air pierces at him.
“...Rosie?”
His rose was red. Oh so red. Too red.
He never let anything slip away when it came to Evan.
Remus holds the door open for Regulus. The ring of the bell alerts their friends to their arrival. He quietly follows behind Regulus before James pops out of nowhere stopping them in their path.
“WAIT- STOP”
He's out of breath and Regulus startles a little.
Remus furrows his eyebrows confused as to what was so urgent that James had to jump out of nowhere and stop them.
James just keeps panting and mumbling about needing to start running again because this is embarrassing.
Remus can hear Sirius cackling loudly from around the corner.
“What's wrong?”
James just continues to catch his breath, but he does point above him and Regulus weakly.
Regulus immediately looks up, but Remus walks towards James and rubs his back lightly.
James swats him away, complaining about him not needing help because he's so fit still.
Finally, James addresses them and the problem in the room.
“Look up!”
Remus, with his brows still furrowed, looks up and spots a mistletoe. It takes him a moment to connect the dots.
Regulus' frozen face, James' rush to stop them, and the little Christmas mistletoe hanging above them.
They want them to kiss.
He blinks for a moment before smiling a little. He could play around with them before actually giving them what they want.
“What's that mean? Do you want me to pick it down?”
James blinks owlishly and Regulus narrows his eyes before realizing what he's doing.
He reaches up to pick it off and James practically pounces on Remus to get him to stop.
“What are you doing! That's a mistletoe!”
James looks genuinely frightened which is hilarious in it's own way, but the way he clutches Remus' arm with a deadset grip is even funnier.
“You're missing a toe?”
Regulus is the one who speaks this time. Remus looks towards him and has to hold back a smile at the way he's shaped his face into pure confusion. James just flounders around before settling on ranting about how important mistletoe is, and how it's important to keep traditions alive. They both totally need to kiss right this minute.
Remus continues to look at Regulus before grabbing his hand and carefully taking it into his own.
“You heard the man”
Regulus raises an eyebrow. A slight smirk pulling at his lips.
“Oh?”
Remus just carefully grabbed Regulus by the arm, pulling him close. He watches him quietly, eyes softening before smiling and using his other hand to cradle his head slightly.
He pulled him close and
AHA YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA WRITE AN ELABORATE KISS SCENE ALL FLUFFY? Do you even know me???
Angst only and in the true angstmas angel fashion
I won’t be finishing this unless I’m in a spectacular mood
Sirius finally smiled, tears filling his eyes. Remus finally understood him. He knows he loves him. He wants him.
Oh Merlin, no one has ever truly wanted Sirius. Sure, he had James, but James wasn't Moony. The boy who held him even when he burned himself out, the boy who told people to piss off for trying to dim his light.
He could kiss him. He'd be able to kiss him. He loved him with his entire heart. He didn't even think that was possible before he met Remus. He had given up on anything to do with love. His mother had ensured that.
Remus John Lupin loved him, and he was going to confess to him. He had waited years upon years to hear him say those words to him.
Remus' eyes shine with tears, and he turns his head away from Sirius.
He was beautiful. He was shining brighter than Sirius ever could. He'd never blink if it meant he'd catch only a glimpse of Remus.
He had fought for this. He ran away from his abusive home for a chance with Remus. He could hold him and never let go.
He finally was getting something in his life. Something special just for him. He deserved it after all he'd been through.
He was sure the universe had it out for him. Not anymore. Not with Remus. With him the universe seemed to love him.
That was until Remus spoke again. His voice cracked, and he looked back at Sirius. His eyes shined. They did.
However, they weren't like Sirius'. They were like his baby brothers. They were like James’. They were like his mother's.
They were cold. Heartbroken. Angry. Anything but love.
“But you don't deserve it.”
Sirius’ breath stuttered to a complete stop. His heart was pounding in his ears. The blood drained from his face straight to his stomach. It twisted and turned in a hurrendous way.
It was as if cold water had been dumped on him. Like the morning James and Remus had splashed Sirius with cold water to wake him up.
Only Remus wasn't laughing and James was crying in the corner quietly.
“Not after what you did. You'll never deserve it.”
Remus signaled to James to grab his cane. James rushed over and passed it to him, and he walked out. Each step further and further away from Sirius.
James stared at Sirius for a moment debating speaking. Finally, he did. He cleared his throat, wiped his tears with the back of his hand and stared at Sirius.
Sirius had never seen this side of him. He never thought he would.
“I can't believe you'd do this.”
James quietly walked away to catch up with Remus. Sirius could hear his cane faintly slapping against the ground as he took each step.
He was alone in the room. He was alone again.
He couldn't even blame anyone, but himself. He told Snape where to go. He led him straight to the danger. He put Remus and Snape both in danger.
He had lost everyone.
It was his fault.
Sirius fell to the floor taking in deep breaths. His knees hurt, but he couldn't feel much of that anyways. He could feel the vibration of Remus' cane and he wasn't even around anyone.
He began to laugh quietly. Small little laughs before they transformed into large cackles. He couldn't stop.
Tears streamed down his face and he buried his face in his hands.
Eventually, the laughs turned into sobs. Soul wracking sobs. In the middle of the corridors. The cold stone floors soothed him. Reminded him of home.
The nights he would crawl into a ball and pray his misery would end. The nights he and Regulus would stare up at the roof and imagine the stars. Connect constellations that weren't even there.
Except this time he was on the floor begging Remus to come back.
He knew he had messed up. He'd spend an eternity working off his debt if it meant Remus would come back just this once.
Sirius had survived through everything. He survived the countless curses, he survived leaving his brother behind, he survived his own mind turning against him.
Tag list: @ang3ldustt44 @werewolfadmirer @a-chance-of-raine
This is ass I will be editing it and reposting, but you deserve something.
“You're going to catch a cold.”
Sirius rolls his eyes and crosses his arms from where he is standing inside the very warm flat. Unlike the very cold outside. It's below zero outside and James decided to make the very smart decision to go outside and play in the snow.
Usually, Sirius would join him in a heartbeat.
Maybe start a snowball fight with him, but Sirius refuses to take a step out there because of what James is wearing.
All he's wearing is gloves and a thin coat.
James runs warm, so he tends to forget about the cold until his immune system has him lying down in the bed with a runny nose and sore throat.
Sirius refuses to have a repeat of last year. He was sick for an entire week after taking care of James.
“I'll be fine! Come roll in the snow with me.”
He's using his puppy eyes. Luckily, Sirius has experience with his eyes and just sighs. He taps his foot impatiently before gasping when James jumps into a pile of snow.
“Fine! Do what you want, but I won't be getting sick with you!”
Oh how Sirius wishes he was right.
Now Sirius is sick face down groaning into his pillow. James got sick, as expected.
What he had hoped wouldn't happen was him getting sick right after him.
Of course, that's not what happened.
He coughed, his throat sticky and dry all at once. His nose draining didn't help the feeling in his throat.
“I've brought some soup. My mum made it.”
He just groaned and turned away from James, sending him a middle finger. Sirius has been absolutely uncooperative with him, since he got him sick. He had told him and now he was making it his life's purpose to be as difficult as possible for James.
“Fuck off”
He could hear James sigh and mumble something about bad manners and needing to make sure his fever didn't spike, but it all got drowned out by the feeling of a headache blooming in the middle of his forehead.
“If you don't let me help you, I won't let you kiss me for a week”
That has Sirius freezing. He doesn’t want to go without kissing James.
He’s trying to question whether or not the sacrifice is worth it. It could be James bluffing, but James rarely bluffs.
Would he punish him like that? Hopefully not, but it is for Sirius’ wellbeing and James doesn’t play when it comes to that.
So he’s clearly not bluffing and Sirius needs to take him seriously.
Great.
Sirius sighs and turns back to face James. He uses his elbows to weakly prop himself up to be fed.
The least he could do is feed him. He does own him after all.
He watches James roll his eyes, but smile softly before carefully helping Sirius to sit up.
He touches him like he’s fragile. Not like he’ll break, but like he deserves gentleness.
It’s something that took a longer time to learn was okay than you’d think.
Regulus walks into his small flat after struggling with the lock for at the very least 5 minutes. Instead of sighing like he usually does when he gets home, he freezes.
Fear overtakes him fast. The key stuck in the lock is long forgotten, and he's suddenly aware where his wand is on him.
It's warm. His flat is never warm. It's always ice cold. Not that he ever minded, but the water heater had been broken since he first started renting the flat. The landlord refused to fix it saying it was
“Always like that”
He despised that landlord, however the rent was cheap, so he'd dealt with it. It reminded him of the Slytherin dungeons if anything. During winter they got cold enough to freeze water if left out sitting.
Since he had experience he usually just wore lots and lots of blankets and fuzzy socks.
Yes, fuzzy socks. He'd never tell anyone that.
Regulus heard a creak and hushed whisper. He immediately whipped his wand out and got into a guarded stance. Carefully he set his bag down and slowly started stepping into the flat.
The door quietly closed behind him and he set his bag down to be able to move more fluidly.
Who on earth would break into his flat? Why on earth would someone do that?
This person is reckless. Too reckless. That's dangerous.
He winced when the wood freaked under his feet, but didn't stop moving.
He could see a light coming from his living room. It was a bit rainbow and warm, so he furrowed his eyebrows.
He peaked around the corner and saw a large shadow.
He inhaled quietly and mentally prepared to duel some top wizard. Has Voldemort come back? Was it a follower who wanted revenge? He was foolish for thinking he was safe.
He rolled his shoulders and turned the corner, whipping his wand in the intruder's face, ready to blast them into an inferni.
“WHAT THE FUCK REG”
Regulus immediately froze, noticing who it was and relaxing, before tensing back up.
Of course it was the only person who would have the gall to go into his flat without permission. The one person he wouldn't yell at for doing it.
James. Fucking. Potter.
“Don't use that language on me.”
He shot back coolly as if he wasn't shitting himself a minute ago. He stared up at James, wand still up to his neck.
James slowly grabbed the wand and pulled it away from his face before relaxing.
Immediately his face turned a bit red and his hand shot up to rub the back of his neck. Regulus had noticed it was a nervous tick James did often. It was a clear give away. He had learned it when they first met, and when James had nervously asked him out on a date a few months ago.
“Sirius told me he couldn't visit this year, and my parents went on a trip”
Regulus stared at him before furrowing his eyebrows deeper. His stance relaxed a bit when he realized James wasn't here to ask him for anything, but it was still odd of him to randomly arrive without asking.
James was always pushing his boundaries and stubbornly never cared. It was one thing Regulus loved and hated about him. He could never keep him away.
It meant Regulus had to accept the love he gave him and couldn't argue with it because James was James, and unfortunately he was now his person.
“I figured I'd surprise you by showing up! I'm staying here for Christmas.”
Regulus' eyes widened and heat creeped up his neck. Though he and James had just started dating he didn't expect to be spending the holidays together already.
Them getting together in general has already been unexpected, this is a new step. Not that he was mad. He expected to spend the holidays alone. He spent most alone anyways. Barty and Evan were always off vacationing and Pandora went to the Arctic because apparently it was great for experimenting. Whatever that meant.
“If you'll have me of course.”
James finished his rant, and Regulus realizes he's been zoning out the entire time. He blinks and takes a breath.
“It's fine. You can stay.”
With that James' face breaks out into a huge grin and he grabs Regulus by the arms and pulls him into a suffocating hug.
Regulus melts immediately and pats his back before pushing James back lightly.
That's when Regulus notices the Christmas tree and decorations.
“Did you- did you decorate my flat?”
Regulus began to walk around his flat. He touched the tree carefully. It was real and most definitely expensive, however he'd bring that up later.
There were already presents under the tree and he noticed his name and many others. The wrapping was messy, definitely James, but it was still nice to see.
“Sorry, I went a bit mad with the decorations.”
Regulus just shook his head and turned back to face James. For the first time in a long time he smiled. A genuine smile.
“Thank you, James.”
James’ face immediately split into a huge grin. His cheeks turned pink barely and he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.
Regulus thinks if he had been one of the seven dwarves, James would have been Bashful. At least right now.
“Always. Merry Christmas, Reg.”
Regulus tilted his head and walked towards James. He gave him a hug, finally relaxing.
James immediately reciprocates and shoves his face into his hair mumbling something about presents and Christmas. Regulus can't hear him. Not now. Now when he's got so much to be grateful.
He never thought he'd be able to say that.
It was only ever him and Sirius.
Maybe this Christmas wouldn't be so bad.
Regulus cut James off by leaving the hug and planting a kiss right on James’ cheek.
He always froze when did that, didn't he? Regulus hadn't even noticed.
He also hadn't noticed he was grinning. Actually grinning.
James did though. He always noticed. He froze and melted.
Around this time back at Hogwarts Barty and his friends would usually be either going to Hogsmeade for a drink, and secretly going Christmas gift shopping for each other. Not that anyone would ever admit it.
Or they would be cooped up in the Slytherin common room drinking coffee, tea, hot chocolate, whatever they wanted while they baked in the warmth from each other and the fireplace.
Barty would make a joke and Evans' lips would upturn just barely in that way it always does when he's amused by something Barty said, but refuses to give him the full satisfaction of a smile.
Regulus and Pandora would be talking quietly on the couch. Perhaps about his family because they talked about deep topics like that or maybe how nargles exist even if there isn't much evidence to prove it. Well now there was.
Dorcas would probably stroll in at some point and lay on top of Barty and he'd let her because she always did that when she needed a break from the world.
They all would leave their problems outside of that room temporarily. Everything would be at peace for that little bit of time.
Then Regulus died.
All of a sudden Christmas for very silent. Pandora would space off into her own world only this time it seemed much more fragile. More crazed. No one could get her to talk for the first couple months of his passing, and when she finally did it was three simple words.
“I felt it.”
Evan seemed to understand immediately and pulled her into a hug. Barty hadn't made any jokes, but he did lean into Evan for support and for once Evan didn't shove him away. They all piled on each other for support.
The fireplace didn't feel as warm and their drinks hadn't been made because Regulus was the one who knew how everyone liked their drinks. That's just how he was and though he never would admit it, they all knew Christmas was his favorite holiday. In turn it slowly became everyone else's. They all were drowning, but at least they could drown together.
Then Dorcas passed.
They heard about the incident during Christmas time as well. They all had sort of split up throughout the years, but had kept close contact even so. She was a part of the order, but she made one exception for all of them to get together once a year to mourn Regulus and forget the troubles of the war. They'd sit in the room together, but now Barty had no one laying on his back. She wasn't draped over him. There were 3 of them left. Apparently it had taken Voldemort himself to kill her. Barty had to look the man in the eyes everyday and follow his orders while trying to forget the blood of the person he loves as a best friend is on said man's hands.
That year Pandora didn't show. No one is too sure where she is, but just like before she sent a letter with three words written in it.
“I felt it.”
Barty had reread the letter over and over. Had even looked for clues or magic on it, but that's all she had sent. He sat with Evan on that couch in front of the fireplace and stared quietly at it. He could feel Evan glancing at him every few minutes but he refused to speak first. That was never like him. Barty always spoke first, but this time he couldn't find it in him. He's afraid. So instead he grabs Evans hand tightly and quietly falls asleep. Attempting to forget everything in the outside world for this fleeting moment.
Maybe if he could forget it all it would bring them back.
Evan died a week later.
Barty spent a lot of his time staring at walls now. He couldn't do much else. His mind spiraled over and over. He has watched Evan die. Moody had killed him and even smirked. For them being the “good guys” it didn't feel as such. He could feel his mental slipping more and more. Evan was the one to remind him to take his meds which hasn't helped.
He watched the love of his life die. He couldn't even tell if he was dead or not. He slipped through the veil. He wasn't lucky enough for death. Just endless purgatory.
Barty had sent a letter to Pandora with the news and she replied with those same three words that seemed to anger him more and more each time.
“I felt it.”
It made him want to scream. He had lost everything. His everything. If Barty had just been quicker or maybe when he was younger tried to join the Order Evan would be alive right now.
He's older now and he thought he'd be more mature, but turns out he's just like his father. He goes more and more mad everyday. It's all Moody's fault. If he could just kill him everything would be alright. It won't bring Evan back though and now because of that man he must deal with life without him. Maybe not.
Pandora sent a blood stained letter.
It's Christmas time again and it's almost like she planned it during this time. Barty dreaded every Christmas and he knew the letter was coming from a mile away.
He opened it with shaky hands. He knew what it was going to say. He finally understood what she meant this year.
“I felt it.”
He knew she had died a few weeks ago. A dream and a guy feeling. Almost like he had felt it himself. He understood what she had meant all those times. He could feel when it happened and he knew.
He had lost everyone and was the final one standing. The most suicidal and the most alive. Unless you count Evan in purgatory.
When he placed the letter down he proceeded to throw it into the flames of the fire. Perhaps it would replicate the warmth of his friends. The familiarity of them. It wouldn't but it was a nice thought.
And when Barty finally was killed it was during Christmas time.
He watched the dementor slowly suck his soul out of him and smiled at the softness of it. He felt warm and cold all at once and images of Evan and his friends flashed before his eyes. The softness reminded him of how Evans' hair felt after a wash. Regulus' cold hands. Dorcas’ blow-dryer. Pandora's letters. All of it. He may be dying and he may never see them even in death, but at least he got close.
No trigger warnings besides a slight mention of death.
Wolfstar for day 1!
“There's flour on the wall, Sirius.”
Remus steps over the upside bowl on the ground. It's leaking some form of a halfway done mixture. It smells like chocolate from where he's at.
Brownies, he thinks.
Sirius did always love brownies. Or perhaps he was making them for Remus since it was his favorite. He could smell the dark chocolate.
From the looks of it though, Sirius had got a little too into the baking process because there was flour on the floor and the sink was filled with all kinds of dishes that don't even make sense for baking brownies. There's a spatula, a cake pan, and even a turkey baster.
Remus eyes the sink tempted to just go start cleaning up already, but Sirius snaps him out of his thoughts by finally responding.
“That was merely a miscalculation in my plan. It was SUPPOSED to catapult into the bowl!”
Remus raises an eyebrow giving him a once-over. Clearly the miscalculation was large enough to get on the wall AND on Sirius because he's covered head to toe in flour. Bits of it are in his hair. It lays arop his head. If Remus squints enough it'll look like freshly fallen snow. It reminds him of their years at Hogwarts when they'd chase each other around throwing snowballs, or at least Sirius and James would.
“Did it?”
Remus knows the answer yet he waits for Sirius to answer. He'd never interrupt or assume something. Not with Sirius at least. It took years to finally get Sirius to start actually being honest with him and sometimes he just needs a little patience. Remus is more than happy to give it to him.
“...no”
A small smile cracks across Remus’ face as Sirius finally gives him the answer. Sirius is looking down at the bowl avoiding eye contact, and if it wasn't such a huge mess in the kitchen he'd probably kiss him, but he needs to handle the issue at hand first.
“I figured. Why are you even making brownies?”
Remus asks the question no longer looking at Sirius. Instead, he starts walking towards the sink to wet a rag and start wiping the wall of the flour. He steps over a stool to get there. Sirius must've been using the good ingredients because they sit higher up on the shelf. Usually, only Remus ever uses them so for Sirius to be using them raises a flag for questioning.
“How did you know I was making brownies?”
If Remus was looking at Sirius he's sure Sirius would be furrowing his eyebrows and looking straight at Remus, but since his back is facing him he'll settle with just feeling his eyes on him.
Instead, Remus points to his nose vaguely and tilt his head slightly so Sirius can see where he's pointing. He doesn't need to say much else because he knows Sirius knows the perks of being a werewolf, if you could say perks.
“Nevermind. I was trying to make them for you”
That has Remus pausing. Why would Sirius be making brownies for him? There's no special event or anniversary today. Not that he doesn't appreciate Sirius caring, but it is odd for him to just randomly make him brownies. Usually, it's Remus doing something like that since Sirius has never been very into baking or cooking in any way, shape, or form.
“Why?”
“Well it's December 1st and I remember you told me that long huge story about how your mom would make you brownies every December 1st because your dad left and it was a comfort or whatever,”
Remus turns around and finally looks at Sirius again. His answer has him softening. Sirius can be so caring and kind when he wants to be.
This is the side of Sirius he enjoys seeing. Not the loudmouth man or the best friend of James Potter.
No, his husband, Sirius. The kind and understanding man he married. Before Remus can reply though, Sirius continues.
“And with your mom not being here this Christmas I thought I'd bring a little tradition to you. I'm not very good at this though?”
“Sir-”
Sirius interrupts him again.
“Is it normal to help other people do their traditions? I'm still not entirely sure on the family codes or rules or y'know?”
“Calm-”
Sirius interrupts him, yet again, and he sighs rubbing my temples.
“If I crossed a line I can stop and we can pretend it never happened. It was smart anyways, I'll just clean and you can-”
Finally, Remus decides to just cut him and his spiraling off.
“Sirius.” Remus says firmly.
Sirius immediately freezes and stares at Remus with wide eyes. He's a bit out of breath from his rambling, but he'll be fine.
“Yeah, Moony??”
Remus smiles at Sirius softly and albeit a little crooked, but the warmth underneath is still there. Remus brings his hands up to cradle Sirius' jaw gently.
“Thank you.”
Sirius blinks owlishly and tilts his head before snapping out of his trance and smiling at Remus. The batter on his face is beginning to dry and crust, but Remus gives him a quick peck on the cheek anyways.
“Oh yeah. Of course, Moons.”
Sirius backs away finally and looks around the kitchen sheepishly
“Sorry about the mess though”
Remus just shakes his head and continues to smile at him. The kitchen is indeed a mess, but the memories of a younger him in the kitchen attempting to help his mother bake the special brownies flood into his mind and all of a sudden the mess doesn't seem so bad. It's almost nostalgic.
“It's fine. Let's just clean up and make a new batch?”
Remus takes a look around at the ingredients scattered. He spots the pepper shaker.
“And maybe use less…. exotic ingredients?”
Sirius stares at the pepper and nods, immediately going to put away the ingredients and grabs a rag on the way to do that. He's grabbing ingredients and rushing around the kitchen, rag in hand.
Remus walks over to him and grabs the rag silently and goes to wet it in the sink. Once it's sufficiently damp he walks over to the wall and begins wiping it down. Sirius' mindless humming keeps the room somewhat alive, yet quiet.
The flour seems to not want to come off. Maybe it's sugar, you never know when it comes to Sirius, and by the looks of the ingredients he's putting away it could quite literally be anything.
After a long and heavy battle between the wall disaster, Remus finally gets it off the wall and stands up. His hips crack immediately, but they've always been like that. That doesn't stop Sirius from immediately turning around with a crease between his eyebrows.
“Do I need to get the cream?”
“No. It's fine. It's only making noises because it wants to remind me of its presence.”
Sirius nods, but hops up on the now clean counter. He stares off in thought for a moment before looking up at Remus.
“What if we created our own tradition?”
Remus pauses and stares at Sirius
“Like?”
Sirius starts swinging his legs and shrugs his shoulders.
“Not sure. Something that matches us. Maybe we could watch movies all day or something.”
Remus tilts his head.
“I've never been good at baking. The only reason the tradition is special was because it's something me and my mum did together.”
Sirius nods thoughtfully
“Then we can make tea and do something fun”
“Like read?”
Sirius’ nose wrinkles in disgust at the suggestion. The genuine confused look on his face has Remus cracking a smile. He knew he'd react that way immediately if he suggested it. Which is why he did, of course.
“I said fun”
Remus just rolled his eyes playfully and gave Sirius a wonky smile. He picked at a piece of random chocolate he spotted before tossing it into his mouth.
“Can't we just have a lazy day?”
“Is that a tradition though?”
“Christmas is hectic enough, just being in each other's calm for a full day is tradition enough for me”
Sirius immediately perked up and grinned. Remus knew what that meant. Dramatics incoming.
“AWWW you love me, Moons.”
“Unfortunately, I do.”
He sighed smiling. Maybe this holiday wouldn't be as bad as he thought.
