sex grinch pussy miasma

alex || they/them || scotland || a long suffering tumblrina just here to doomscroll

[tastylemonbread]

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

[didderd-reblogs]

[viralfrog]

[lynati]

I applaud the effort that went into this seconds-long bit.

(THE LAMP IS STICKING STRAIGHT OUT FROM THE WALL!)

[thekijs]

For anyone who wants a side-by-side comparison to appreciate everything that moved, here you go:

My favourite detail is the plants on the windowsill getting rotated up sideways

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[ampervadasz]

[lemonpoppyseedmuffin]

My coffee maker is such a faggot. Every time I use it it whines and moans and groans and pisses all over the place

[slimegirls-slime]

i think they're called baristas

[amazoogle]

i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead

i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on

[bunnygirlpaws]

she transitioned

[knowyournewmeme]

You: *panicking, running for your life through my labyrinth space station*

Me, over intercoms: You have terf bangs

[charliekirkassassinationkink]

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[thundercrackfic]

This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.

The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human

[toothpaste-footlocker]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

[panpteryx]

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.

[monsterpotion]

aging performer: yes, hi, I'm calling to schedule a colonoscopy

medical provider: I can perform that service. what is your name?

aging performer: butt doctor, I am pagliacci

[monsterpotion]

i'm sorry this joke is so stupid but i can't get it out of my head

[lindleland]

there is so much to unpack in this clip

[lindleland]

[harborfreight]

[rhulksdiscordkitten]

HELLO ?

[rhulksdiscordkitten]

Help I got the Temu labiaplasty and now my pussy is on backwards

[greenlabcoat]

steampunk sex toys really would change the world for the better

[greenlabcoat]

PROS:

looks dope

gears mangle the penis & puncture the vagina

lubricant already required

steam burns in brand new places

loud as fuck, everyone knows you're cranking it

CONS:

N/A

[starrynet]

[targetedknowledge]

[thememedaddy]