Sirius had never been good at doing what he was told.
Nobody had asked him to stay, the night Sirius left home for good, so he had no way of knowing how he’d react if someone had. Sometimes at night, his traitorous, revisionist brain tried to imagine what had happened if he’d never left, but it was no use wondering. Nobody had asked Sirius to stay, and he’d left. If someone had asked, he probably would have left anyway. He’d been looking for a way out for years, even though he never thought a permanent escape possible.
It was an ugly quality to grow up with, and it grew uglier every year it wormed its way further into Sirius’s heart and mind. But it did have it’s good moments – very, very rarely.
Like today, when he heard get out and responded by entering the room instead. He remained blasé about it, even muttering an unimpressed, “Oh, fuck off,” as he did so. As Sirius locked the door behind himself and refused to leave, he wanted to believe that he’d seen the softening on Regulus’s face. Or that he’d sensed the worrying anger rolling in familiar waves off of his younger brother.
But those had all come after. He was pretty sure they must have; he was just contrarian as ever, accidentally falling into support of those he wanted to support when they claimed to want it least. Sirius owed it to Regulus to make the best of that, especially now that real worry was spreading through him like a virus.
The sound of Regulus’s fist hitting the blackboard had not been shocking. It had been familiar; a noise they had both grown up with in some measure, but never originating from the youngest Black brother himself. That was the scariest part, the part that confirmed for Sirius that he needed to say. He’d spent so many years afraid of seeing Orion if he looked over his shoulder; afraid of seeing Orion when he looked in the mirror at himself. Never had he worried about seeing Orion coursing through the forehead vein and injured hands of his baby brother.
“What is going on here?” It was not a question that left room for avoidance. Though, the boys were related more than they liked to admit out loud; Sirius wouldn’t be surprised at all if Regulus found a way to dodge it.
Sirius entering the room despite Regulus’ impolite ask ended up irritating him more than he expected. The locking of the door, to prove he was staying, made the younger brother feel even more trapped. Alone with his thoughts – to deal with his problems in solitude? That was something he was used to. On the occasion, he opened up to Rabastan if the need was desperate enough. And maybe in his youth, Sirius would be the first person to turn to. But not now, and not about family. Not when the person in front of him had so easily left, forcing the responsibility of heir onto him.
A redirected bitterness, and a thought process Regulus regretted immediately, shaking his head to attempt to be rid of it. And failing.
The question made him scoff, despite how fair it was. He had no doubt Sirius knew the complications that would come with being an heir, but perhaps he was caught up with Regulus’ act of so called rebellion to remember the side effects that came with it. Maybe it was easier to push the thought aside. “I’m… redecorating.” He told him, voice humorless, maintaining his glare before turning his back to him to look at the blackboard once more.
He had no intention of punching it again, even if the anger was still coursing through his veins. For years, he had tried to detach himself from the emotion, a conscious effort to never be like Orion in that respect. In all the ways his father had left marks on his children, the feeling of rage was something he wished he’d never inherit. Regulus would choose a bruise any day over such clouded thoughts and judgement. And, intention be damned, his fist was back on the blackboard before he’d even noticed his momentum.
There was no point in lying to Sirius. The tone his brother held, as well as his infamous stubbornness, created the very probable possibility that brushing it off would not be an option. He glanced down at his bruised knuckles, an irritated sigh escaping him. “I simply had a disagreement with our - sorry - my cousin. You know Bellatrix is excellent at getting under peoples skin.”
Regulus paused, only to spare him a glance. “This is a momentary lapse of control. Leave me alone to deal with it.”
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