Can't pay $35 for #clevelandbrowns shorts. That's just subsidizing Johnny Football's nightclub bathroom habits.

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON

Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
taylor price
we're not kids anymore.

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
sheepfilms

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin

oozey mess

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AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom

PR's Tumblrdome
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Today's Document
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@reidkerr
Can't pay $35 for #clevelandbrowns shorts. That's just subsidizing Johnny Football's nightclub bathroom habits.
Fatter Tuesday
I just realized I missed Fat Tuesday. Lucky for me, I'm still fat Thursday, too.
Kindness and Tools
I've tried to kill someone with kindness before. But honestly, it's a lot easier with a hammer.
My first book, The Great Texas Trailer park Escape is now available for just $2.99 at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.com. Check it out at TheGreatTexasTrailerParkEscape.com.
Olympic Thoughts
The Winter Olympics events all seem to be about rich white people sliding and careening.
Ice Capades
I just chipped and hammered about an inch of ice off of the windshield of my car. Which would be great if I had always wanted to work on the Cornelia Marie. But I don't.
Taint Minty
I've got a new peppermint body wash. I really like the way it makes my skin feel, except it makes my taint all tingly. You know, like I'd washed it with a York Peppermint Patty.
Snow burn
Tip to stay warm: You know that semi-abandoned car some neighbor parked in front of my house, preventing the snowplow from getting to my driveway? Yeah, I'm just going to set it on fire.
Bread of the Dead
That sandwich might have been a bad idea. The bread tasted funny. I don't mean "funny ha-ha," I mean funny like it was made from clowns.
The Amazing Spider-Man Health Care Plan
I am a grown man. Wearing a Spider-Man band-aid. That I bought on purpose. And I think most of you would expect no less from me.
“The Great Texas Trailer Park Escape” is an adventure novel in East Texas, “It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World” taking place in the world of the people of Walmart.
My first novel, "The Great Texas Trailer Park Escape," is available now! Click the link, and check it out at Amazon, Barnes & Noble.com, and Smashwords.
"Stay tuned after the game, for our three-part investigative report on grown women who insist on dressing like marshmallow peeps...only on FOX19."
The Wind Cries...Crotch
It's 34 degrees and that wind is invigorating! And by "invigorating," I mean "a shocking way to discover you have a hole in the crotch of your jeans."
You Don't Want The Fairytale
Somewhere between "Once upon a time" and "happily ever after" is when things really get sketchy.
This is what I woke up to today, which is what a weatherguy called "Annoyance Snow." Weird. In Texas, this much snow would close the schools and send everyone to loot Walmart for water and batteries. Here, I'm just warming up some chili.
Self-Check Yoself
It's taken this woman in front of me at Meijer ten minutes to ring up some apples and a bag of turnips. I think she's using the self-check line to transfer funds from her 401(k) into offshore oil holdings and Twilight commemorative plates.