Night Queen

independent private queen luna of mlp.  canon divergent. g5 inclusive. risen by asra.

[reignoctis]

private canon divergent queen luna of mlp.  by asra.  25+ they/them.  g5 inclusive. doc.  headcanons.  memes.

[kaisources]

°⋆.୨ৎ࿔:･ WHAT IF THIS IS THE BEST VERSION OF ME? ... a collection of roleplay sentence starters ⁽ ⁰⁰¹ ⁾ based on girlhood, coming-of-age, complicated relationship with parents, mundanity, freedom. genre: slice of life, coming of age, family, hurt and comfort.

Isn't every story, a story of betrayal?

I was sleeping. Turn that off!

How do you already know all this stuff?

School hasn't even started yet.

I have trouble with procrastinating.

I'm somehow not fitting in even less.

Aren't you meeting friends in classes?

You know the feeling of being at a party where you don't know anybody?

You know I was very unhappy for a very long time.

I love you, Mom. Don't be so worried.

I'm so bad at calling people I don't know.

You aren't sarcastic, don't pretend to be.

Why don't you continue with the reading?

That was really nice of you, waking me up.

Listen, I'm so grateful to be here, but why are my parents taking out loans for me?

Uh… It's embarrassing.

Do you know how you find out if you're in it?

Fuck! They're self-elected douchebags.

I thought it sounded really fake. It's just my impression.

I have a car. Let's go to the beach.

We look like we're in a song.

I just got a missed call from this number.

Have you eaten? Do you want to hang out?

I don't know anyone who lives here.

I thought this was the cool place to live.

You gay?

That's stupid. Don't feel inferior.

I never went to college. I'm an autodidact. Do you know what that means?

I was with my mother while she died.

I don't know any dead people.

[He/She/They] thinks I don't know, but I know everything.

People are always taking my shit.

I actually pity them. They have no more dreams.

Must we document ourselves all the time? Must we?

I won't. I'm good at keeping secrets.

I could totally see myself…getting married in that kind of church.

You have to market yourself. If you don't know what you're selling, no one will know how to buy it.

I'm not positive, these are just some ideas.

I'm sorry, I don't know anything, I was just throwing something out there.

I need to cut all the negative people out of my life.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

Can you start the coffee, please?

I'll pay [him/her/them] back, of course, once we start making a profit.

We never went to restaurants growing up. It wasn't part of our lives.

That's a shitty thing to say to me.

What are you… What are you doing?

I've noticed something about myself that would make a good character in a story.

It made you want to find life, not hide from it.

Where were you last night? Did you get my text?

You write like you're imitating someone who is free and wild and it is so weird, because you aren't at all.

Stop trying to be funny, because you're not funny.

How you do anything is how you do everything.

I'm usually fine with rich people, it's just whenI need something from them.

Maybe I shouldn't do it. I'm not good at it.

Thanks. You make me feel really smart.

I wish I had something like that growing up.

I always used to cook with my mom.

I've spent my whole life chasing after things and knocking at doors and I'm tired of running towards people.

Oh, I thought you had to go back to school.

By the time I noticed it, it was already too late.

Your mother doesn't look like you, but she has your expression, you know?

I don't know if you remember me, we went to high school together.

What are you doing in the city?

What are you drinking? Let me buy you a drink.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!

I always liked you.

Everyone is an asshole in high school!

The way you treated me really messed me up for a long time.

If I was 13, I'd apologize to you, but seeing as both of us are in our 20s, I don't feel the need.

You're the one that hung onto this grudge for so fucking long!

That's probably why it hurt so much. Because it was true.

Would it be okay if I slept over again?

My mom died, so don't even start with me about your pain.

You can't really know what it is to want things until you're at least 30.

The path isn't against you. It's just the path.

You ready for this, squirt? It's gonna get ugly.

You're all 18. Where is this old person morality coming from?

Do you ever get that feeling when you're on a car trip and you never want to get where you're going?

You fuckin' scared the shit out of me!

I was just gonna let it go.

See, you don't give a shit, do you?

I have a visual memory of it. It's kind of photographic.

What do you think I was doing last night?

It's not for you to say okay…it's for me to say okay.

I don't know if you're hungry, but this is for if you're hungry.

When does that become the same thing?

Sorry, I got started on the wrong foot there.

You don't have to do any of the work.

No, you cannot "just say no." Why not?

You are so annoying when you get calm voice!

I just don't feel like playing right now.

I couldn't be your mother, thank God.

We can do Thanksgiving at my house if you want.

I'll probably just end up doing something depressing, but young.

What're you doing with this whole thing?

This is not what I want. It is what you want but it makes you feel like a bad person to want it.

I don't know! I'm jealous!

You want other people to do the things you can't so you can blame them.

I'm the same. I'm just the same in another direction now.

Do you have to put your face so close to mine?

You know how upset I get when I visit the home.

I can't wait to tell you about it.

I'm committed to being a happier person.

I can't remember the last time I was over here.

I'm mostly in touch with my feminine side, but then I guess not, though.

Did you… Did you want to be with me ever?

I need someone I can love. Not keep up with.

There's nothing I don't know about myself. That's why I can't do therapy.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

I am so impressed by you and so worried for you at the same time.

What is it about this house? Everyone screams.

It's not you. It's just inspired.

You don't get to decide what's hurtful and not hurtful.

I invited you in and then you stole my life.

I don't give a shit because I am not a friend of Tennessee Williams!

You are much more of an asshole than you initially appear.

You think I haven't dealt with the pain of my mother's death?

You talk about it all the time but you never talk about her!

Your tragedy is your armor in which nothing is ever your fault!

Of course it's possible to hurt me. I am the most sensitive person.

You're my sibling and I love you but I stand by what I did.

It's strange to not really know someone.

I'm very sad, but I'll be okay.

Sometimes I worry that I'm a bad person.

I just in love with everything but can't figure out how to make myself work in the world.

[reignoctis]

Luna is secretly a hopeless romantic. Her partners might have really sappy dreams or find their name or cutiemark literally in the stars.

[reignoctis]

“Has anyone seen Stormflight?  I was…trying to explain my plan for dealing with the timberwolves and he…may have lost a tooth to my hoof.”  Given it was roughly five in the afternoon, she’d just woken up and evidently hadn’t secured metal properly.  The very tip of silver foot has red on it.  Luna looks sheepish.  It was much funnier when it had flown off and hit Celestia in the face, less funny when it hurt her lead general.

[lookingforroleplayers]

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[clippedwingsmuses]

it threatens twilight to spill and to cry again hearing it, but she already knew that. she was a friend to luna, and she had many friends already. close friends. friends who stuck with her, despite all the damage that had been inflicted upon her body and mind, self-crafted or thrust upon her from the malevolent entities of the equestrian realm. if she could only be viewed as they see her, by those who she now call subjects, then she would surely be...

guilt quickly flows at the queen's end of sentence, and twilight nearly stands on her seat as she leans over the table.

" i-i didn't mean to imply that, " twilight stammers, a hard cough not having cleared her throat before words spilled. the harsh scratching of voice forces her to pause to do so, and settle down again. " i mean- " she swallows hard. her head hurts. the rush for clarification cast aside what little eloquence her voice still embodied. the ache of her temples from the lack of good rest further scrambled her minimal vocal control.

luna's chair shrills against the floor. her voice carries an echo from the four walls. both sounds make twilight jolt. even as a fellow royal, no matter how brief it was, the raise in decibel catches her attention completely as it would an everyday pony or attendant. her thought process is cut off by the raised voice, and then luna's answering her query. twilight's rapid moving eyes are an outward showcase of her internally juggling between which of the three subjects to speak on.

internal clock ticks to a twelve, and she stands. her hooves match the ticking seconds as she circles the table, faint magic pushing in her own seat, and fizzling out when she reaches luna's side of the table.

" we are friends—good friends—despite everything. despite even my f-failures. " she stutters. her eyes—which were raised to meet luna's gaze, and still when contact as made—squint, and lips press together hard. it is the smallest of efforts to keep herself from crying again and making her headache any worse. she failed her sister, yet she still considered luna a friend. and she felt the same. she takes a shaky breath.

" what i mean is... if you had that same option to ditch the wings or the horn or both, or if you were born as any disguise you put on for whatever reason... would you want that choice? would you... be happy with it? " she asks, outright this time. " i was entrusted with my place. i've grown into it over the years. given it because i was believed in, even with all the negatives that came before, and even with all that've come after. "

her ears droop and head falls to do the same. jaggedly. not at all gentle or gradual. it almost gave the impression she were going to collapse when she did it. eyes shut. " ...i don't want to betray the faith that was placed in me, even though it's hard. but, i would love... " a breath. a sigh. a whisper. " ...to sleep, for a while. "

[reignoctis]

how her heart shatters into a thousand frozen shards - not as jagged or sharp as when she lost celestia, but a near thing. again, a storm rages inside at the consequences of a sister's actions that could not be undone. fury at the unfairness of it all! at least THEY had been born like this, sun and moon, destined even before cutiemarks. luna hadn't even known it was possible to make a pony like them until her return. would never have considered attempting such a feat. curiosity might have driven her to all sorts of trouble and risks - remniscient of the spark once seen in younger purple eyes - yet not that.

a harsher, darker voice rises in the back of her skull at the mere mention of failures. lilting laughter recalls every past doubt of her own, every life lost over the centuries whose blood stains her hooves, disappointing mentors, sister and nation equally. clearly the alicorn has let down twilight too if she believes herself to be inadequate. it's supposed to be the queen's responsibility to take weight off less experienced shoulders. they share the burden of defeat.

her knees hit the floor to bring taller body closer to twilight's height. metal rings out unnaturally as it hits tile, jarring the remaining bone. another moment in the past that should have never fallen to such young mares. pitiful that a being as old as luna had been unable to singlehoofedly stop a siege, let alone damaging what should have been an infallible body in the process. what would have been infallible with magic not stripped from her very bones. withers twitch, forcing focus to the present and pony in front of her.

in an old, intimate gesture of unicorns long long ago, luna tips her head so the base of their horns touch. dark wings extend to envelop twilight in a feathery hug, not as warm as celestia's had been for the night runs cooler but broad wingspan is still large enough to shield them from the outside world. " oh twilight. . .you are and always will be my first friend. whatever failures you speak of - i'm sure i have done no better. your stumbles are mine, little- " sister. those words had come too late to undo the damage of a thouand years. maybe she can still help twilight. she waits though. she is too old now to jump to conclusions. gives twilight the time to clarify or gather herself. though her position doesn't change, still guarding purple coat with her life, her bearing does. weight shifts to hind legs and head tilts in thought. an odd question, really. though the sisters had certainly wondered what life would have been like had they been born differently, it's impossible to conceive of. like asking a dragon to envision if they'd like to be a yak instead. " i don't know, " she whispers, element of honesty even to this day. " i have always been this. if i were to change, what would become of my duties? would the moon raise itself, would our enemies not be able to feed on ponies fears ?"

a small smile crosses pale lips. " i think i would miss it. i would miss magic or flight or the dream realm. i don't know what i'd do with myself. my sister and i were born out of need, there was never a-a self discovery quest for a cutie mark. " the curl falls, brows drawing down. " you are not happy. can i tell you a secret? you ony betray that faith when you don't take care of yourself or enjoy what you do. your future is not writ in stone. "

for all her age and poor care lately, luna rises to dark hooves silently. " then we will sleep for a while. your quarters or mine? "

[reignoctis]

Finally working on designing Luna's pegasus disguise, Starry Skies omg.

[reignoctis]

HECK I missed luna's birthday it was the 21st

[reignoctis]

couldn't sleep last night because i kept thinking about innate magic vs harmony magic. clearly g5 still has some magic or no ponies would have cutiemarks so there must be magic for that. in my head, without harmony magic ponies are limited to magic related to their talents if said talent requires magic. harmony is what gives them the ability to go beyond that for things like basic levitation, flight etc.

[reignoctis]

Finally working on designing Luna's pegasus disguise, Starry Skies omg.

[clippedwingsmuses]

masks. twilight was used to putting those on, yes. even since the day her wings sprouted, since disaster struck immediately and she was forced to play a role she wasn't ready for yet. an ear twitches. had she put on such an act recently? she had forced herself to be cordial at the start of this conversation, but... things devolved so quickly that her friendly demeanor cracked amidst tears and reminiscing.

a hoof brushes back the collection of split ends that fell and flowed over her forehead and neck. " i... i wish to be treated as a friend, " she says, voice quieter now. it was an obvious answer, but one she still sought for. she had long grown tired of the formalities, and of the silver and gold that made her skin feel frostbitten.

she perks up at the answer as she receives it. in her short experience with sprouting wings, she was alone. she fights her body to breathe normally lest she risk showing an outward sigh, one that one could only assume was born of... disappointment. but, it brings her some semblance of comfort to know that, even though her circumstances were not seemingly universal, even those born into the duties were not perfect from the start. she should've known it to begin with, but, perhaps the stresses that came with her new appendages made her forget such a fact.

and then, she snorts, pressing her lips together hard in an attempt to obscure a momentary smile. celestia, and a stallion? she'd never heard of such a thing. she had always seemed so... content, in a life of love that never broke the barrier of kinship. though, at one time, even twilight felt she might fall into the same category. a portal to another realm, with another 'pony' to see... yet even she knew that such a thing would not work, for she had duties here.

...ah. suppose then that she was not so different from the pony she idolized after all. yet with the posed question, she still has to pause to consider her feelings. would she go back if she could?

the answer does not come to her immediately. in the now, she does not know. it reads on her face clear as day, the empty void of unfamiliarity. pupils shift as she attempts to find an- the answer. she could not say that she had grown to love the life she lived now, exactly. only that, she had become used to it. there was a routine to her waking hours she could say she, at least somewhat, enjoyed. she was always a pony for keeping things organized and adhering to a strict schedule. in the life of an empress, she had those things at all times... when her impulses didn't take control, of course.

the silence goes on for a few moments too long, enough for discomfort to set in. in her inability to give a proper answer, she deflects. " have you ever wished you were born as a mask you put on? "

[reignoctis]

for a too long moment, cold fury at her sister rises for daring to damn this poor mare to such a fate. one she clearly didn't want, that luna never truly saw as needed or if it was should at least have been done with consent. had celestia ever thought about the cost? had she ever actually looked at twilight sparkle and seen what it did to her? the first stranger who had been kind to luna, her first friend, now saying all she wanted was to still be seen as that. the sun queen's apprentice brought to tears because her own friends treated her differently.

then it peaks and crashes like a wave. luna would be truly alone if twilight wasn't sitting across from her. there is no way she could have handled equestria by herself - without her sister. it would have crumbled in her grief and the sun wouldn't have risen until someone else took hold of it. "you are my friend. and if i have ever made you feel otherwise, i am truly sorry and please do tell me so i never do it again." an idea sparks in the back of her mind. it would have to be done carefully and with time to not rouse suspicion. and one might certainly say using dreams to influence ponies was questionable but if it made them finally realize twilight didn't want to be treated like royalty...and that made her happier.

luna forces down the last of her breakfast, pushing back in her chair a bit too hard so it makes a sound too loud in the vastness of the dining hall. her ears twitch in a wince. restlessness beats back dragging fatigue, a desire to do something about the state of the younger alicorn. she had once been loyalty and laughter. that had to count for something. "twilight." her voice raises to ensure it catches attention. "you and i are going to catch up on some much needed sleep. i will ensure no more than a few minutes pass outside us, but we could both use ten...or fifteen hours. after-"

maybe it's a good thing twilight doesn't know the answer. but luna would have thought she'd snap to yes or no. was it or was it not worth it? she was obviously much unhappier than she'd been as just a unicorn but celestia's death could easily attribute to most of that. the question stuns her for a moment. standing in front of the table, still poised to push chair in. seafoam eyes blink several times.

"i...am not sure i understand your question. if i ever wore a mask, that was before my return." forcing herself to tolerate celestia's mere presence. playing the younger sister still trailing after her. not snapping at ponies who she might as well have been invisible to. "not that there aren't things i wouldn't change about myself...i wish i was better at interacting with the public. i wish i didn't seek external validation like a filly...i wish i was strong enough to dismiss you from your position so you could go home. if you wanted your wings gone and i knew how, i would do so in a heartbeat."

[clippedwingsmuses]

" i've always sort of... well, i wouldn't say envied- " twilight laughs nervously. " -but, it seems like the royals have always had it so much... easier. not having to take off on an hourly basis to save the world, just... talk, more than anything. "

as if diplomatic matters are any better, she scoffs with a roll of weary eyes. she'd felt less soreness in her body when in combat with a rogue unicorn or ancient evil. having to keep the peace of an entire nation, and make sure things ran in an orderly fashion, wasn't as easy as she thought it was. she was looking at it as an outsider, and actually being part of it now...

her wings relax against her back as she becomes aware of their weight. she gazes at them thoughtfully. nopony had it any better, but she was rarely known to make any easy choices herself. she invented much of her own stress, but there were many things she was not born knowing how to handle either.

" i wouldn't put taking a break and hiding on equal standing, per say, " she muses, slow blinks threatening to heavy her eyelids further. " i-i mean... being a different pony. not being able to be yourself. you don't have to do your duties, but... you're living another life, if that makes sense. "

twilight felt she had to be a different pony the moment she sprouted feathers, if she were to be honest. like a foal forced to grow up too early, too young to do the things they had to, with no adults to guide and teach them. she was no longer 'twilight', but 'princess' instead. even her friends treated her differently for a time, whilst she fought with flight and stronger magic.

she mumbles a stuttering apology, finding herself caught between a discussion and a vent session again. it's more than tiredness that makes her disposition flicker back and forth in these moments. her focus on the conversation distracts her from the sharp shifts between emotion, unconscious changes she has rarely acknowledged in her life. but, in the moments where her thoughts are the subject, it becomes all the more obvious how little control she has over them.

" ...treat others how you wish to be treated, right? " she quotes, head turning. eyes flitter about momentarily, but she pauses to make eye contact again. " it surprises me how things like that slip me by even now. i... suppose i still have a lot to learn. "

she sets her notebook beside her, and wills herself to take another bite. it's still unpleasant, but, she settles on it because she knows she needs it, as much as the break she's been commanded to take.

" um, luna... " she starts, hesitant. " did... you or celestia ever have to walk the road i have? earning your wings, growing into this position, the royal duties... you both have said the birth of an alicorn was something equestria had never seen. i'm just... curious. "

her wings yet again tensed against her back. she was all the more conscious of the feathers pressing against her coat, the muscles that held them down when not in flight. she felt like she was crossing a boundary asking such a sensitive question. but, she kept her back straightened, ears pointed forth, and eyes opened. whatever the response or reaction, she was intent to listen and react herself.

[reignoctis]

she makes a face at that. luna had always disagreed with her sister's decision to send in the elements for everything when it was a queens duty to defend her nation, not a bunch of mortal mares. elements or no, the sisters were rightly powerful on their own. "i thought celestia had gotten too far...removed from things. but she was ever the politician of us. i was-am equestria's greatest warrior." it was just unfortunate that so little of what she fended off was ever acknowledged. ponies would live every moment in terror if they knew how many threats lurked in the dark. the alicorn still blames herself for failing to strike down the storm king. how embarrassing to require rescue like that and not even keep all her limbs for the effort.

ascension had been a foreign thing when she returned. cadance had been mistaken for a daughter - what other explanation was there for the sudden existence of a new alicorn? one who, again, luna never really understood the point of. not when the two sisters had been born to move the very heavens. it seemed a pointless task to send twilight north just to prove herself, one that only put her and everyone else in needless danger. maybe luna was just bitter over a unicorn getting more of her sister's attention and trust to handle such matters.

"ah...you have masks, you mean? you are one pony for this situation, another for that group." another thing her night work spared her from. there was no one to act differently around when she was alone then. and the only pony luna really interacted with was celestia, who could read her like a book if she tried to put on a facade about anything. it is a sad thing to see twilight so distanced from her friends because of something she had no control over nor ever wanted.

luna raises her head from its comfortable resting spot to study the other. they should really stop talking and get some sleep but she can't remember the last time she talked to anyone like this. she'd like to consider twilight a friend but are they really? friends aren't supposed to go so long without having breakfast together or not discussing work, if ponies dreams are anything to go off of. "and how do you want to be treated?"

her mouth is open to continue, to mention the time bubble sleep plan when she closes it so fast she almost bites her tongue. the look on her face can only be sheepish, cheeks actually darkening with blush. wings ruffle silently at her back. "oh twilight...my sister and i were born like this. just...not here so flurry heart is the first non-ascended alicorn equestria has seen. our parents didn't know what to think of it. nopony did until starswirl. he was the one who taught us all that he knew, but even still some of it just had to come to us. he couldn't fly or dream walk. he was our regent until he disappeared, we were a good hundred years old then and he still didn't trust us to run things ourselves. looking back, i can't blame him. we had no idea what we were doing. defeating discord is easy compared to trying to establish a country."

one hoof claps against her face to try to smother a giggle. "i assure you, we had plenty of growing to do. the celestia you knew had milennia under her belt by then. growing up, she once made a portal, not unlike that one you went through to retrieve the crown, to a dimension where everything was opposite-" her grin is visible past fur and keratin "-because she wanted to see a stallion." it falls as quickly as it came. "but she did what she had to do for equestria. closed the portal and never saw him again...you are young yet, twilight sparkle. much much younger than when either of us ever took a proper crown. you will never stop learning and you'll make mistakes but you won't make the same ones again. you'll see the world change...while you stay the same." she hastily clears her throat, blinking back wet eyes. "tell me. if you could go back and never become an alicorn...would you?"

[clippedwingsmuses]

twilight half feels her nerve break at the shift in the queen's tone, as if she was suddenly forced back into the conversation. had she really been so out of it by the time words finished spilling from her running mouth? perhaps her sense of awareness had begun to plummet. her inability to split the difference between thought and speech was surely obvious. her jaw moves, teeth parting to open her tinted lips. they clack together and silence her before they do. half-lidded eyes seem to stare through the tablecloth, the table, the floor.

a moment of contemplation passes. her lips open, eyes shut, snout tilted toward the ceiling. she inhales. her head tilts down, parallel to the table, eyes catching the queen's. her voice carries a sense of longing when she lets her thoughts be said outloud.

" even with the council of friendship's meetings... i do miss the early days of our friendship. when all of equestria didn't know our names, " twilight muses, drawing circles with a hoof on the table. " i know i would enjoy the peace with them alone but, i feel as though it would be dishonest of me to fade into the background. to... hide. "

twilight shakes her head as she lifts it. she didn't like being recognized, but... it was as luna had said; ponies should be able to see her as a mare, not a princess or empress. a friend. more than the role she had been given, and taken on. how could she form that opinion if she only ever worked? golden clad hoof sorts through the pages in her notepad. her quill pens a title for this newest section as it had the former. it seems to write of its own accord as she speaks, following luna's recollection of memory.

" that was different. you deserved—and still do deserve—to be seen as 'luna' and not 'nightmare'. " she flinches, uncomfortable herself saying the name. she quickly continues before the topic has room to change. " i wasn't born of trauma, or, um... raw emotion, i suppose. i was just a mare, and then... "

she was born as the element of magic. she grew to be the princess of friendship. she was elected to be the equestrian empress... with the destruction of the elements the six of them had reawakened, the tree that gave them their magic... one could say they were now then the nurturers of harmony. to her own endeavors, to equestria's continued future... she and her friends were more than just friends, more than just their elements... they were everything.

" ...pinkie would be better suited as an icon of friendship, and it's for that exact reason, " twilight's ears stood upright. hooves twitched, pins and needles in her skin. " there's not a pony or creature around who she doesn't consider a friend. isn't... that what the icon of friendship is supposed to be..? "

" ...nevermind. i suppose i really am overthinking it... what if's and what could've been's don't serve to change the situation. " twilight takes a breath. another finished cup has lukewarm glass from her hooves holding it so often. " i really do need a break, don't i... i've been so busy since she's been gone, it seems the memorial is the only place i acknowledge the passage of time. "

she debates filling her glass again. the food she's left untouched has already begun to grow cold. it is unpleasant to pick up at all. it's difficult for her to finish it, but wasting it isn't a great feeling either. she decides she need not another drink if she's going to stand up soon anyways. at least she isn't working on an empty stomach. her energy will quickly replenish.

" but, luna, are you sure you could handle things if i wasn't here? " twilight's ears perk, some life returning to her coat and eyes again. " i could put together an agenda of things to do, but i'd have to get in touch with some of my associates to see what i can reasonably postpone or pass down. "

[reignoctis]

luna attempts to bites back a yawn and fails, flashing long canines silently. her jaw shakes with the force of it. she shakes her head a little blearily. the night might have not been physically exhausting, she'd actually slacked on her dream guard duties, but talking about celestia was always draining. it reopened the hole in her chest like breaking stitches of a wound. maybe it would just never heal and she would have to live with it till the end of days.

they could both use some sleep, clearly. time magic is inherently risky and has never been her forte but they would hardly be the first to seal themselves in bubble to sleep in. hardly an easy spell yet quite a handy one for speeding up hours in a small area. a full day's rest little more than an hour to the outside world. she makes a note to mention it before breakfast ends. notes too how little twilight has eaten. nowadays, all ponies are smaller than the queen with her height and baroque draft build yet the empress looks a bit too thin to her eye.

her banana smiley face slips off pancake in syrup. she wonders vaguely if celestia used magic to keep the damn decor on her food.

"such is the burden of greatness," she laments quietly. twilight is still so young, too young to be holed up in a castle unhappy as an ursa major woken up too early. blue nostrils flare in such a heavy disdainful snort it blows napkins off the table. "oh twilight sparkle. it is no more dishonest than a mother putting down an upset foal and walking away. taking a break is healthy. would you say my sister hid when she slunk off for a spa day as a unicorn? she trusted the nation could live a few hours without her. nopony can do a good job of anything if they're stressed as can be. if you weren't an alicorn, you would have gotten ill months ago as normal ponies do."

a great hypocrite she is. and celestia was too. stars knew that one trip they'd left twilight in charge was the first long vacation either had had in a thousand years. luna herself could use an eight hour massage. hoof trim too with a more proper horn care than just sharpening it on hooves. perhaps after twilight's trip and the memorial they could spend a day at a spa.

black tipped ears flicker at the name. decades and her heart still quickens. something colder than nerve endings can process slithers under her skin. for a moment, luna's breath leaves her lungs in a cloud and steam rolls off tongue. then she blinks. she's sitting in canterlot. she can breathe though her mouth is horribly dry. white magic lifts water pitcher to pale lips and the alicorn chugs it. "you were not born an alicorn just as i was not born nightmare. even if we were, we are still just ponies. that's all."

she almost smiles, snorting into the pitcher. "no one said pinkie pie's...methods were the wisest, twilight. some are just not meant to be friends and i imagine she could push that boundary and regret it. you don't need to see everyone as friends now." luna pauses in thought and props her head on folded legs in a move that wasn't really appropriate for royalty. "maybe the epitome of friendship is not much different than the element of kindness. not everyone wants to be your friend or should be but you can still treat them the same."

if only wondering what if could change anything. the alicorn lifts a brow at younger in only partially mock offense. "twilight sparkle. this would not be the first time i have taken on the day's duties." celestia hadn't always been around to rule even before she took an apprentice. though luna had never been as adept or comfortable with the work, she could do it. "i have been...absent from the public eye, yes, but that does not mean i have been unaware of what goes on in our own nation. we can do a shorter day off today then you can spend longer in ponyville."

[clippedwingsmuses]

twilight brushes back her mane with a hoof, the top flattened against her coat, a seemingly permanent mark of where the crown often sat atop her head. not born with a crown... the empress found it was hard to believe she wasn't. her magic engulfs several of the items strewn across the long table, those which sat at her side. she thinks about that phrase as she does so, even if it would be easier to avoid returning to a depressing topic.

the engraving of her cutie mark within the tree of harmony before its destruction, was that not proof that this was a role she was meant to carry? that she was 'born' into?

" i don't really have the option to be casual. to do normal things friends do and let go of the formalities, " twilight vacillated. " play games, take care of pets as a group, watch movies and plays, or maybe even participate in them, or... sit around having a picnic, talking about who knows what. i suppose i yearn for the simple things. " the mare blinks. she clears her throat and pats her chest a few times. " i-i mean, even when i've been given the space to do those things, they haven't lasted very long. the few times cadance has visited ponyville have always ended in us solving some crisis, heh... my time organizing the library alone or in company has been interrupted more times than the books within it. you can only organize a shelf so many times before y— "

twilight winces harshly when her fork drags along the porcelain. she lifts the silverware what seems like a milisecond after it screechs. the scratching of metal on ceramic makes her coat stand on its ends. she quickly flushes. she lifts a pitcher atop the table, drinking from the glass she pours its contents into. after the cold washes away the discomfort and the food from her fork, her tongue travels the inside of her cheek as she ponders how to continue the conversation. her thoughts fight to come back together while the embarassment settles and dissipates.

" well, um, the title of the princess of friendship made it all seem so... professional, " twilight says, lifting up a wing in a sort of salute and putting on her best imitation of a certain family member for the last word. she then shrugs, eyes and wing drooping. " how are you supposed to be a 'friend' as well as a... well, a 'celebrity'? "

she shifts, pulling her tail out from beneath while her hooves make air quotes. her tail brushes across the floor, and then stills. it was much more comfortable this way. her fork wanders across the syrup trails in her plate with a triangle of pastry, and so too do her eyes and thoughts wander. they wander between acknowledging what she's doing, what the queen is doing across from her, how the room looks bathed in shadows of the inside and outside, how the food and the tablecloth is dyed in pink and purple and yellow and blue gleams from the stained glass... and what she said moments prior to her silence.

the empress sighs tiredly, for more reasons than just her lack of sleep. she finishes her drink before she speaks again. " i used to wonder what friendship could be. now, here i am the icon of it. " her magic pushes her more than half-empty plate ahead of her. her hooves cross over eachother on the table edge. her head rests atop them, and her hindlegs kick back and forth in opposite rhythms. " it seems like it would be easier to play my role if i really did follow in pinkie's hoofsteps... maybe i should work on creating some nicknames for the ponies i know..? " twilight felt like bringing out her notepad again, but she wasn't sure where to start if she followed that thought process.

[reignoctis]

the empress looks absolutely miserable and luna hates it. was this what her sister intended for the young mare? to be sentenced to such a life because of some supposed destiny? it wasn't fair and it was unacceptable. equestria needed harmony to function - she doesn't want to find out what happens if that harmony is broken again because one of the nation's leaders can't be happy. the princess of friendship with no friends might as well be a pegasus with no wings.

that has to change. maybe once they finally put celestia to rest properly, twilight could move on and find that spark again. luna downs a carafe of coffee, effectively pushing off sleep for a few more hours. the sun warms her back, seeping into her feathers, wrapping around her in so familiar a grasp her throat tightens.

"well that just won't do," she states bluntly. no room for arguing. luna might still struggle socially after all these years, moreso with loss, but surely she could figure out some way to get twilight that space to relax. "this weekend-" ears pin and feathers fluff at horrid sound. hm. perhaps they should postpone working on celestia's memorial so the poor purple mare could get some rest. before something was broken. luna has to force her jaw to unclench before she can continue. "this weekend, you will go to ponyville. you will leave all your duties to me. invite cadance should you wish."

sea green eyes fix on the younger as if they spoke of battle plans not days off. "but you will go see your friends. i can teach you how to disguise yourself if you don't want to be noticed. or there are spells to make others look over you as though you weren't even there." celestia and her had matching personas, of course. sunny and starry skies when they wanted to go out without crowns.

her voice softens. "they miss you. i don't need to look into their dreams to see that." ponies lives were so brief so short who knew how long twilight's friends had. "my sister did not send you there so you could end up not having any friends at all. we are social creatures regardless of rank. let ponies see you as you are. they should know you up close. the more you walk among them, the more they see you as just a mare. not a princess or an empress. a friend."

she suddenly smiles and shoves three more pancakes in her mouth, cheeks stuffed until she can chew enough to swallow. "do you remember when you taught me about fun? you took off the mask of nightmare so i could be seen. ponyville forgot who i was when i showed them i was just like them. i like games and playing pranks and eating popcorn."

a poor icon she is. a bad example. dark hoof props up her chin to keep those words safe in her mouth. "maybe don't think of it as a role? you are magic. you are friendship. if you don't overthink it too much, it might come naturally." luna blinks, head tilting in confusion. clearly she was missing information on pinkie pie. "how would you follow in her hoofsteps? i'm not sure her approach really...fits you. or at least i've never seen you flit about like she does, never knowing the meaning of 'stranger.'"

[reignoctis]

so like epic horses right

[notmorbid]

these violent delights.

dialogue prompts from these violent delights by micah nemerever.

i never told you my name.

who puts those awful ideas in your head?

you're forever assuming the worst.

what's that face? you look like you're going to cry.

you're one of those people who worry all the time, aren't you?

i don't worry, i ruminate. they're distinct actions.

nothing made you. you just are.

beautiful things are supposed to hurt.

people tell you you're shy all the time, don't they?

i don't know how i ever got on without you.

a little trouble is a good thing for a young person.

i wasn't born yesterday. i know what kids get up to.

it's good to have guns to stick to.

you could do anything to me and i'd let you.

i'm not ready to be seen. not yet.

i don't need you to treat me respectfully. i'm not made of glass.

tell me you love me, at least. please. i need to know somebody does.

do i look normal? i can't tell if i look normal.

you can get away with anything, as long as you act like an authority on the truth.

don't tell me what i want.

you know you're just about the worst liar i've ever met.

i don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you.

you're so square, you're a cube.

i just want you to believe me when i tell you you're worth something.

there are limits to what you can expect people to understand, without living it.

you can't fight everybody all the time. you still have to live with them.

i forget how blue the sky can be outside the city.

i'm going to push you off a cliff, you fucking boy scout.

thank you for trusting me with this.

be a kid while you still can.

please believe in the things i try to tell you, instead of the things you think you deserve to be told.

if the sun touched you for even a moment, you'd go up in flames. like a vampire.

your voice changes when you're angry.

what a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth.

you never look away, even when your eyes are closed, but i'm never certain you can see what's really there.

tell me you need me. in those words.

can i tell you something? that i'm all but certain you won't believe?

i never lie to you. but sometimes, i wish i could.

you never let me pretend the truth is alright when it isn't.

you have a profound, elusive sadness about you.

you didn't. please tell me you didn't.

you and your awful little games.

why would i bother to grow my own conscience when you're always around to pester me?

you're going to help me escape.

this house is a shadowbox, never meant for human things.

you have no right to stop me, and you're not going to try.

you're sweet, when you want to be.

do you want me to kill ____? i mean it.

it might do you good to be an orphan.

you're just so sincerely creepy.

wealthy people pay handsomely for the privilege of ignoring cries for help.

i've never seen you like that before. not once.

i've decided to learn to be impulsive.

the worst damage humans do isn't rooted in malice, but in thoughtlessness.

there's such a thing as right and wrong. anyone can figure out the difference if they're willing to think for themselves.

there's no part of you i can't see.

i don't want to hurt you. please don't let me.

you're ridiculous, sometimes. but that's alright.

i don't want you right now. go home.

i'm not like you. i don't even have a shape of my own to hold anything else in place.

i'll never matter the way you do, and you know it.

say what you need to say.

if you say the word 'deserve' one more time, i'm driving us off a bridge.

i've been meaning to talk to you about ____.

i'm worried about what you're getting into.

you don't see me. you can't. you never could.

it's your life. you're entitled to make your own mistakes.

i want you to know you deserve better. you don't have to put up with ____.

you scare the hell out of me. you really do.

you look the same way you always have.

i was worried i'd lost you.

i'll take care of you. i don't need you to be brave.

all i want to do is make you happy, and you're the unhappiest person i've ever met.

i would rather be cruel than weak.

i want you to let me be nice to you today. i don't care if you think you deserve it.

this place looks like somewhere in a jigsaw puzzle.

it's always been real for me. every second.

please don't say anything to my mother.

we can't fix it if you don't tell me what happened.

i'll call you when i can stand the sight of you. don't hold your breath.

hiding the truth is still lying.

i thought you'd finally trust me if you knew i'd kill for you.

i'm just as much of a monster as you are.

i was missing part of myself my whole life, until i met you.

righteous fury leaves no space for fear.

you can always talk to me. about anything, okay? i love you no matter what.

you played [game] in school, didn't you?

no one tolerates boredom worse than the idle rich.

someone needs to be looking after you.

you know you can't actually stop me, right?

i want to be able to look at you.

when you need to, you will understand.

i'm only ever early when i'm afraid.

people talk themselves into the strangest things when they want to look impressive.

in the end, there's no difference between trusting someone and underestimating them.

[hcdgepcdge]

A soft, but sharp gasp left Rarity's mouth very noticeably. That sounded painful and very uncomfortable and somepony needed to do something. A Princess in distress? More importantly a Princess that was Rarity's client in distress. That simply won't do. Her magic worked fast without permission and with an odd amount of precision.

Firm pillows from around the room found themselves under Luna just before they met the ground, fabric tightly wrapped itself around her legs. Her knowledge of joint pain was admittedly minimal, but her father had some due to play hoofball in his younger days and she picked up a thing or two.

"Pardon the intrusion, Your Majesty, if I had known you were in pain we could have taken breaks much more frequently."

And thus, unknowingly, a threshold for Rarity had been breached. Luna was no longer the intimidating former Nightmare Moon, but a true client that she just had to accommodate, she was a pony. Honestly, and it may have been a silly notion in hindsight, she didn't know a Princess could even have something ailing their body.

"Do go on, please."

All the things listed were not too far than she imagined. Her brow did start to knit at the idea of how to interrupt the idea of 'the smell of a forest' in a dress, but that was interrupted when the last item was listed.

"Butterscotch?" She hid her smile behind her hoof, but couldn't stop herself from giggling. The idea of the regal and terrifying Princess Luna struggling with butterscotch on the roof of her mouth was too good of a mental image to ignore.

[reignoctis]

Oh. The floor is. . .soft? Knees and ankles cradled by more than just carpet in her room that she keeps meaning to have thickened. Her ears swivel one way, head another as if to search for floating pillows. It takes her a moment too long to figure out where they came from. Startled gaze sets on Rarity, nothing less than baffled at the action. Maybe the unicorn should have been kindness. Or perhaps it was generous in fact.

Her sigh is near imperceptible as she settles in. "We forget sometimes," she murmurs, flicking tail to wave away the apology. The discomfort wasn't as horrid as it had been when she'd first returned, falling over unsteady hooves like a yearling. Evidently remaining standing still for so long is not a good idea. How easy it is to not remember she in fact has a true body now - one that hungers and bleeds.

Withers twitch as she consciously has to check in with herself. Sore and aching legs from standing. A bit hungry now that she's thinking about butterscotch. But comfortable on the makeshift bed, too much so to make it worth getting up again to find a snack. For Rarity's sake they were finishing the damn fitting today.

"Is...that funny? Is butterscotch not made anymore? Tia made us a butterscotch cake for our birthday though we just assumed the kitchens had everything in stock." Or Celestia ensured they did knowing her sister's favorite. "Why, what draws your eye, generosity?"