A Kind Mind for a Merciless Body
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@reining-disaster
A Kind Mind for a Merciless Body
[Please take a look at these links before interacting! Thank you!!]
Muse Info and Rules
Main blog for @veggie-tales
[Almost done drawing Rein. Been a few weekends. I'm so busy these days, but I am still alive. I'm sorry.]
[Updates on the move! I'll probably be trickling back in starting Monday]
[Sorry about not being around. Today is officially finally moving day. I packed 84 boxes and it was really hard doing that and still working while disabled. I hope to be back on soon. Thank you for your patience. I miss everyone.]
[Early Munday photo is all the boxes I packed. Please tell me I did good. I did all this by myself cause my wonderful husband is disabled.]
[So sorry about the semi-haitus. Things will back to normal after I move in a few weeks. It's just hectic here.]
[I somehow broke my middle finger while packing today. 😭]
"Uhhhhhhhh..." Rein blinked as he looked at Solas, squinting briefly. His lip curled slightly, gaze transfixed, as the man he'd just been asking for advice from turned it around on him, it seemed. He tilted his head like a confused dog and looked the elf up and down, "I thought you were the teacher, here." He said pointedly, "I'm... A little confused. Are you alright?"
Almost as if he was trained to do so, he set his own feelings aside, looking at the other from across the way, "I'm-uh... Did you... Did I trigger something with that? Because you know as well as I, that I won't have the answer and likely may never. I-..." He let his gaze wander, wanting to do more.
He suddenly felt bad. This man who had basically put him in this situation and he felt... bad? He knew that this wasn't rational, but Rein wasn't that. He never had been. Rational was never his thing.
"I think that when it comes down to it, we all need someone to believe in." He began a new thought, "And it's funny because eventually that someone is the last someone on the list. And it's the someone who is willing to... t-to give up themselves if they have to. Give up that sanity for the sake of the rest. In a sense, we do give up... I suppose part of me gave up a long-"
Rein's voice broke, cut off as he placed a hand on his cheek, feeling something warm, surprised as he looked at water on them. He hadn't realized he'd been crying.
Solas scoffed as Rein turned the conversation back on him. His words had been meant as an olive branch—an acknowledgment that he not only understood, but understood better.
He hadn’t been seeking answers from Rein. Had he? The notion should have been laughable, yet he wasn't laughing. It left him feeling too exposed, though he’d been the one to offer that vulnerability.
Rein's attempt at offering solace made it worse. Solas did not need to be soothed. There was nothing in him that could be soothed. Some sharper, defensive part of himself stirred with a desire to snap at him. But then he saw the tears tracing down Rein’s face, and that instinct crumbled. His chest sank with the weight of it, and whatever sting remained in his pride slipped away. His voice, when it came, had lost its edge.
"You are more correct than you realize." There was absolutely a sense of giving up, of sacrifice. Most of it, at a certain point, was sacrifice.
He could have pushed further. He should have, perhaps. He could have told Rein that while self-sacrifice was necessary, it was only part of the equation. That the true cost of battles like these were the lives of those who relied on him. But the look on Rein’s face unraveled that intention. He would make that point—advance his own piece—another time. It was not as though he lacked opportunity.
"Forgive me. My burden is not yours—not exactly. But what you carry is familiar to me." He bowed his head slightly, a gesture of apology.
"You are doing better than expected." He pointed out. "You are not dead yet, after all."
Rein was quickly wiping at his face with his sleeves, doing his best to stop the flow by centering his breaths, "No-no... I'm sorry... I keep... Coming to you... We're both just... People." He sighed, "Sure, okay, you're an elf, I half human, you're a mage, I'm a warrior, but at the end of the day, we both rest in our own way, we grieve, we fight, we guard ourselves..."
He took in a sharp breath, holding it for a moment before Solas made the point about him not being dead, making Rein let out that breath with a sudden bark of laughter, covering his lips to stop the jarring sound from escaping further. He let out a few giggles through his nose before releasing his own mouth with a soft smile, "Yeah. No. You're right. I'm not. I continue to be your problem. I stick around another day."
After a moment of composure, he had a more fond look about him, mismatched eyes fixated on the elf, "You and I come from different worlds, Solas... We really do." He said softly, "But, you know, I don't think the world seems to care, at this particular moment. We are on equal footing, almost. Odd... You don't by any means have the ability to make me a nobody, again, do you?" He teased.
[I'm sorry I've been trying to answer everyone, but I feel kinda sick. I'm gonna sleep like a few hours early tonight and see if that helps. Love y'all. Please be kind to yourselves.]
Closed starter with @thxwxlf:
"Kekipi. A word?" Rein said as he knocked on her door. He was personable, kind, and yet, himself and Kekipi weren't really communicating much as he was with the other companions.
His knock was soft, careful, ginger. He was gentle in his tone, as well. On the other hand, he held a tray of tea and... Mostly homemade cookies, though he had a little help, given the fact he was rather useless in a kitchen. After he squished the pot that was perfect for boiling noodles (much to Lucanis' dismay), they banned him from using anything unsupervised.
"I... Uh... Hope I'm not interrupting a nap or... Research... Or..." He trailed off, a bit of an anxious bundle of nerves. Leading was never his strong suit. But he was determined to make sure things went as smooth as they could.
Kekipi had returned to the Lighthouse from Arlathan right before Rein had arrived to her quarters. She had gone with Bellara to speak with a group of young, curious veiljumpers who had been wanting to know more about the ancient history of their people and, hopefully, point to some answers to assist them in the ongoing fight against the risen evanuris.
When she hears the knocking at the door, lavender eyes pull away from what she is reading and spot Rook at the doorway. She smiles, her brows slightly furrowed in a gentle manner. There was never really a bad time to come talk to her since she was offering her service to the veilguard.
"No, not at all. Please," Kekipi hums, beckoning him to come sit down with her at the little side table that sat by a large window, looking out into the rest of the fade. "You've been busy, it seems," she smiles, motioning to the tray of tea and cookies he carried, "What's the occasion?"
Rein smiled a little brighter as he stepped into her room, setting down the tray, "Oh, no occasion!" He assured, "I... Had a bit a help, given the... Debacle last time I tried to cook." He chuckled, "I just wanted to make it so that maybe neither of us would need to have to get up for a little while. Snacks and something to drink stops two things we need to leave for." He raised a brow.
"Before you ask, nothing is wrong... Besides... Uh... The God... Thing..." He pursed his lips and knitted his brows for a moment before shaking it off, "It's just that I don't seem to know you well. And as the designated leader, for some reason, I want to make sure you know me, as well. So this is just some down time and some opportunity."
"We know our names and what we're best at in combat, but we're all saving the world together. We need to know each other a bit more than coworkers... So... Ask me anything!" He took a seat, politely putting his hands in his lap, "I'll tell you the answer to anything about me. No... How does that saying go? No holds bars? No bars to hold? Just-uh-No...Noooo fooling!" He nodded, conclusively.
Rein really didn't notice the sweet animal, at first. The gloss in his eyes shone brightly in the firelight, the smoke stinging them before he felt the face on his lap. He blinked the forming tears away and looked at Nissi with his eyes, unfurling his hand from his leg and scratching under her ear with a soft sigh, "Be less smart, Nissi..." He mumbled.
He sat up when he heard Azkaas' voice, blinking more and wiping at his face, though it was hard to hide the redness of his nose and eyes. He always forgot that pure blooded elves didn't sleep. Why did he always forget that?
"She's fine... I don't mind..." He responded, a waver to his voice and a flatness to his tone that usually didn't exist. Normally so vibrant and slightly silly, Rein sounded a little broken, "She's just... Being smart. Like always." He patted her head.
Truthfully, the company of a dog was almost always nice, but maybe not particularly productive. No actual advice or understanding, unfortunately. Just happy smiles and tail wags and soft fur.
ᒥ⚔ᒧ— In truth, Azkaas wasn't very good deciphering emotions. His youth was spent in the wilderness by his lonesome, just him and nature. Yes, he spoke to plants and animals...But neither had complex emotions like humanoids. It takes him a few seconds too long for it to click that something was wrong with the Barbarian. Between him and Nissi, Nissi was clearly the more intuitive creature.
"Uh..." What should he say? What was appropriate? He wasn't quite sure. "....Just cry, man. Don't gotta hide it." Perhaps a bit blunt and forth-coming, but Azkaas had always been rather direct due to his lack of social skills. He looks to his dog, the fluffy Husky now nosing Rein's chest with snuffles and sniffs.
"Nissi," He begins, eyes glowing green with bright magic now dancing around his mouth. A spell was cast with ease, and now he could understand his dog. She would be able to aid him through this interaction. "Sen kar sal kar, Nissi?" What do I do, Nissi? He forgot the other man was familiar with Elvish. His conversation with the dog would be one-sided for Rein, but would definitely be understood despite his attempt to hide his ignorance with Elvish.
"Faenya. Kaweh." Heal. Speak. The dog would be grumbling softly to Rein ears, but for Azkaas she spoke words of advice. Commands for him to follow to aid him in helping Rein.
Elvish was a language of few words, unlike common. Elves were notorious for being rather intelligent, Azkaas never took on that stereotype. He needed clearer instructions than what Elvish could provide. Whatever, he'd just guess what to do. So, he sits himself down beside Rein and sets an arm around the guy's large, broad shoulders. It took the entire reach of his arm to be able to do so. Where Rein had strength and it showed, Azkaas was more nimble and dexterous. Not all that tall and an athletic lean.
Rein looked at Azkaas with his big wet eyes, "I... It's not that easy... I don't-..." He looked away, eyes half lidded as he looked at Nissi, again, "I don't have a right to be sad... It's my fault... It always has been. The grief I feel... I shouldn't feel it."
He bit his lips as he scratched the sweet dog under the chin, "My actions led me here. I should feel bad. But I don't have a right to cry... I don't have a right to feel like this."
Even though he felt that way, his hand flew to his face the tears beginning to spill over. Rein was the type to never judge anyone else for crying and yet here he was, judging himself for it, "I'm sorry... I'm pathetic."
Please take a look at my Carrd. I just made it last night:
Character Card
[I'm not totally happy with it, but I need to be done.]
He really didn't want to speak out of turn. He really didn't want to scare him, but the young Lord needed to learn. Rein wanted to help. Curse his big fucking heart, "My-My Lord...? It's... Not to punish you that I want to teach you..." He said softly, "You've made your stance clear and... I respect that, but should the worst happen and something befalls me while I protect you..." He trailed off.
He was quiet a while after that, head held high, but brows knitted, jaw clenched. For such a strong and capable warrior, Rein felt so fucking out of place.
Maybe in another life he'd be Syl. This spoiled little prince. After all, they had similar lineage. But they were now worlds apart. And as much as he wanted to ease his worry, he knew only time and practice could do that.
"I can carry something if you get tired..." He spoke, looking ahead as he did, scanning the area for dangers ahead, "I can... Carry a lot." The corners of his lip twitched. He couldn't help himself. Another attempt at a joke. Maybe this one would land better.
"...Sorry... For... My outburst... I forgot... Uh-Forgot my manners." The large man admitted, You didn't deserve it. You're scared. I know what that's like." The words were kind, but his face was still stone and he wasn't making any sort of eye contact, "I really do think you're more capable than you assume." He gulped, letting it hang in the air before he spoke once more, "I... Used to-..." He closed his mouth, "Just-! Sorry..."
Sylverian turned sharply, his wide eyes betraying his alarm at Rein’s words. The mere thought of being left alone, of having to fend for himself in this unforgiving wilderness, chilled him to his core. He knew himself too well — he wouldn’t last. Even with all the lessons in the world, he wasn’t suited to this life. He would never be.
“Don’t,” he said softly, his voice laced with both plea and command. “Don’t speak of such things. There is no sense in dwelling on something so grim right now.”
He hesitated, then a small, fragile smile broke through. “And I... forgive you.” His tone carried more warmth than he’d intended. He couldn’t help it! How could he possibly maintain this cold, authoritative façade, particularly when Rein looked at him like a sad puppy?? Sylverian just hoped he wouldn’t notice how easily his heart yielded or, worse, take advantage of it.
With that, he removed the elegant bag of holding from his shoulder, holding it out toward Rein ; his grin almost playful. “If you insist~” Rein would look utterly ridiculous carrying his small, gem-encrusted bag of holding...
However, the faint levity vanished as his gaze swept the dense trees around them. His shoulders sagged, and he groaned. “We should… find somewhere to rest. Gods, preserve me... I cannot believe this is my life now. Sleeping on the ground, like some wretched vagabond...”
Rein's breath hitched at the sharp turn and he jumped back, slightly. He was slightly startled, but also afraid he'd spoken about of turn again. His mismatched eyes darted, rapidly reading his face before his posture relaxed a bit with a breath and a soft smile to match the new tone.
He sighed a little at the response, however, "My Lord, your safety is my only priority." Spoke calmly, "A lot of grim possibilities are floating through my head. Many of which I'll be keeping to myself." He said as he took the bag, putting it over his shoulder with a raised brow, carrying it as well as his own heavy bag and his massive axe.
"Ohhh. It's not so bad, Lord Salemchant! I've been doing it for over half my life. Once you get used to it, nobility seems less appealing than the outdoors. Not now, though. The wound is... Fresh. It'll heal."
Rein began to point the way to a nice spot, "You just need to find a new way. Learn new shit. Just... Try not to let bitterness eat at you... Because that alone will try to kill you."
[Working on this. My The Boys OC with Homelander. Toxic Yaoi.]
[Please excuse my absence. Things are tiring with all the stuff I have to plan to move.]