Things I learned in my first year after coming out as trans
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable/unsure about your new pronouns and name
When I first began living full time as male I had just moved to a new city to work. My new name and pronouns didn’t feel right for a couple weeks. That doesn’t mean you aren’t transgender. It’s a huge life change. It takes time to get used to.
Doubt and confusion are normal
Again, it’s okay. That doesn’t make you any less trans. There is more than two genders. Not defining yourself as 100% male or female is okay. Liking things marketed towards your birth gender is okay.
It’s okay for your dysphoria to worsen at first
When I first heard my male name and pronouns being used I was convinced that it was only because I had requested them be used, and not because they viewed me as a male.
It’s okay to not want to be “that trans person”
Yes, I am transgender. Yes, it is a big part of my current life. But it won’t always be. In the future I look forward to simply being viewed as a male, and strangers not knowing I was raised female.
There are things about my body which I like, and am positive about. Generally, they’re the parts which are most masculine. However, appreciating these parts and feeling good about your body is not wrong, nor does it make you less trans.
It’s also normal to hate the very same parts the next day.
People are going to have questions
Try to get out of the mindset of not owing cis people any answers. Many people have never met a trans person before, and will have questions.
Yes, they might be abrupt and rude. Yes, it can be annoying being asked the same questions.
Generally, it’s best to view being questioned as a positive thing, and an opportunity to help people understand more about the trans community.
Relationships are possible
I was convinced I would never be able to have a relationship with somebody.
I always thought being trans would be an obstacle. You will be able to find the person you trust so much you begin to feel okay with the things you’ve never been able to love.
The sex will be damn good too.
People will generally react positively
My friends and family, who range from 4 to 89, have generally reacted well. People are accepting. Perceptions of the trans community are changing.
You do not have “trans privilege”. It isn’t a competition
We are all transgender individuals with our own stories and experiences. Stop trying to tell people they’re more privileged because of certain aspects of their lives.
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