Relaaaaaax, Guy

Welcome to South Park - a quaint, former little mountain town nestled in the previously unspoiled beauty of the Colorado Rockies. For those who have not been paying attention to your mandatory Jonas Brothers reality TV news power hours (sponsored by Coke), the walled town of South Park provides the perfect home for those who need rehabilitation back into our wonderful society. In a world that provides the non-stop celebrity gossip that you crave and the always-present branding that you need (also sponsored by Coke, now in Twilight flavor), South Park is just what you need to get your life back on track and heavily invested in the antics of pop idols everywhere. And let’s not forget that this sort of mandated government program is all thanks to our glorious leader, Saddam Hussein. Saddam may currently be possessing Justin Beiber’s body, but rest assured he is just as concerned about your future as ever. There have been rumors that we at the South Park institution for mental health have been experiencing some odd problems lately with new residents inexplicably appearing in town. Our foremost team of analysts have determined that these people appear to be from alternate versions of “South Park” - ones which may have not experienced the glory that is The Beiber. To make matters more confusing, they appear to be from different universes, which is causing quite a bit of what will herein formally be known as “relationship drama.” How will they cope? Will they ever get home? Fortunately that doesn’t fall under our job jurisdiction; our only task is to ensure that they are comfortable and happy under Counselor Yate’s watch in the South Park rehabilitation program. All hail The Beiber! Welcome to South Park!

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[Mod Post] Relax Guy Reboot!

((OOC))  Holy crap guys, it's February!!  I know everyone's been really busy with the holidays/school/new jobs/sewing, but some folks have also been interested in a mini-reboot to the RP to get back into the swing of things.  What we'd like to do is pick a date when almost everyone is available for a group chat.  From there we'll wind up Pirate Week, start a new week fresh, and probably look toward one final "big" plot twist over the next month or so.  Afterward folks can continue to RP as they'd like, or fade off with the biii~iiggg myyyster~yyyyyy ooooooo.  Be sure to mark your availability in the Google Calendar, or let Ike-Mun, Gregory-Mun, or Cartman-mun know your schedule once you have it!

FYI, group chat will be left on forever, no matter what.

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Mod Post!

((OOC: Hey guys, since everyone is super crazy busy with finals and largely offline this and last week, we've decided to push the end of Space Pirates mini-event to Friday the 21th instead!  Followed by a Very Merry SPRC Christmas featuring horrible presents from upstairs on the 25th.))

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AHOY, MATEYS. ARE YE READY FOR A WEEK O' DOUBLOONS AND FUN IN THE RED GIANT SUN? THEN HEAD ON DOWN TO THE HOTTEST SPACE PIRATE TV SHOW, AND GET READY FER THE TIME OF YER LIVES!

All of us Upstairs are pleased as punch to bring you this week's fantastic ratings booster in an authentic pirate accent(tm)... courtesy of our newest neural-alternator, the P-Room!  Don't worry about having to stop on by the P-Room any time soon, since we have taken the liberty of beaming just a tiny bit of Pirate-Isms straight into your super-star brains!  You're sure to be even more popular than ever as you talk and think like a pirate for your guest spot on the award-winning reality experience, Pirates on Ice.  Pirates on Ice: the ice is what you use to crack open an opponent's skull!  It's a little strange, I know, but all television out of Eta Carinae is, and we here at the Fognl Network are a multi-cultural corporation. This week, set sail for the high nebula seas as you crew your very own space pirate ship.  Split into teams of four and given your own supply of bloodthirsty crewmembers and fabulous Space Cash, you'll be pitted against your rival teams in a rough and tumble match of sword-gun fights and maps as you try to uncover where your opponents have hidden their treasure!  Just try not to severely maim your fellow recruits too horribly!  However, just in case, your pirate ships come equip with an ample supply of peg legs, hooks, and eye patches.  At the end of seven days, points will be awarded for number of enemy pirates captured (1 pt), number of treasures plundered (1 pt), and as a tie breaker, the number of buried treasures discovered on the fantastic treasure planets around the quaint, ancient solar system of Eta Carinae. The winning crew will keep all Space Cash winnings and their pirate ship.  And will officially have their SPRC contracts severed as we wish them well on whatever adventures await them next! Pick your team mates wisely.  Alliances are allowed, and all final teams of four must be submitted to Counselor Yates for eligibility in the grand prize.  Good luck and YARRGGGG! ((OOC: PIRATES PIRATES PIRATES.  Get ready for Lord of the Flies 2: Space Pirate Boogaloo.  Kids are allowed to pick their own teams with a maximum of four members.  Everyone has woken up on the "communal" pirate ship, and thanks to a healthy dose of brainwashing, may or may not be a little more open to pirate songs, shanties, and love of cash than normal.  Pirate ships are equip with traditional wheels, sails, hammocks, weapons, a new wardrobe, and of course a state of the art force field bubble to keep your characters from dying in the horrific vacuum of space.  Each team will receive their own pirate ship and alien crew, and may plunder treasure planets and/or beat the hell out of each other as they please.  Each kid also has their own treasure chest, which they may hide as they see fit.  If anyone wishes to dock planetside, they'll find plenty of buried treasure, taverns, alien pirates, and wenches to keep them amused.  Miniplot ends on December 14th.))

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[Yates Post] A Very Special SPRC Prom

It's time for prom.  Pack your shit.  Get your sparkle dress glowsticks or whatever it is your kids think qualifies as "formal wear" these days and get ready to get on the bus this Saturday at 9 PM sharp.  Apparently your little kids week spot with Degrassi Jr High Edition was so successful that the networks want you to have another hoe-down with the big kids.

A few words about prom:

Attendance is mandatory.

Dates are mandatory.  And no, I don't want to see any of that 'five girls we're all friends here' holding hands rosy poesy nonsense.  This isn't Space Utah.

Any recruit who is unable to procure a date and/or attend will be subject to the B-Room.  If you're curious about whether or not you'd enjoy the quality rehabilitation that the B-Room has to offer, just ask your friend Raven.

Anyone caught spiking the punch further than it is already spiked will be subjected to a makeover courtesy of Hilton Arts.

Upstairs has a special surprise planned for all prom-goers at the end of the event, so no skipping out early.  No exceptions.  I'm not wasting my time chaperoning you punks for nothing.

((OOC: IT'S TIME FOR A VERY SPECIAL SPRC PROM.  Prom is tentatively scheduled for {EDIT!!!} MONDAY AT 9 PM EST, subject to change depending on peoples' schedules.  If a different day works better for you, let us know!  In addition, the next miniplot will start this Tuesday, so get ready!))

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[Yates Post] A Very SPRC halloween

So apparently some people think we should be doing something special for you punks just because of some silly little holiday where kids gorge themselves on candy and run around, harassing normal, hard-working citizens into giving them free things.  Well, let me tell you kids right now that I don't believe in Halloween.  In fact, if it were up to me I'd be canceling all of the holidays for the rest of the year.  But apparently I'm not in charge, and apparently Upstairs wants to throw you brats some sort of spookytown mumbo jumbo Halloween party for whiny babies who don't understand what real responsibilities are all about.

So pack your bags. We've cleared out Old Man Potter's haunted mansion and dropped it into the outskirts of town.  There's punch, candy corn, and plenty of party games so that you immature punks to entertain yourselves for the night.

ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY.  Watch out for ghosts or redneck zombies or whatever.

((OOC: In case word hasn't reached you yet, Kids Week is extended through next week!  WOOO.  Kids party log with SCARY GUESTS begins tonight, or if not enough people are on, tomorrow at 9:30 PM EST))

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[HQ Post] Junior High Edition

Greetings, recruits!  All of us upstairs are pleased as punch to inform you that we've secured yet another special guest appearance for you!  After much negotiating, through a partnership with Horsehead Works you will be starring on an upcoming episode of:

******************* Degrassi Jr. High, Reality Edition! 12 fresh-faced aliens battle preteen drama, vicious cheerleaders, boyfriends, talent shows, and too much homework as they battle through Junior High!  This week, our little darlings are joined by the superstars of the SPRC, so grab your burn books and tune in this galgamar, as it's sure to be a w-w-wiiiild afterschool week!

******************* For your convenience, we've re-opened your old alma maters South Park Elementary and South Park Middle, and populated the halls with all your old friends!  Be sure to interact with the Degrassi kids and make us proud! Oh right - and the de-aging therapy that we administered to you last night should wear off within a week or so. ((OOC: IT'S KIDS WEEK!  All characters have been de-aged to between 10 and 13 years old, depending on your preference.  Everyone still has their same memories as before, but may act according to their new age.  Kids are back at the SPRC on earth and may also attend "school" if they wish, and may run into alien highschoolers as well as NPCs who look strangely like their old earth friends, but these are just actors.  Be sure to update your PB to reflect this change, and the week will end Oct 30th. IN ADDITION, we want to do something for Halloween, so if anyone has any ideas or would like to run something, just let me know.))

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[Yates Post] Shuttle leaves at noon

Guess what, punks.  Just because you realize now that I don't have a doctorates in putting up with a bunch of mealy mouthed whining doesn't mean that I'm not still in charge of you brats.  "Oh, but Counselor Yates, we know you're just an actor who isn't getting paid nearly enough to shuttle our candy asses around!  Can't we all just be bestest friends and skip on down to the teddy bear fair please?"

Answer: No.

I worked good and hard to get the job I have today, and if you think I'm gonna drop things just because you punks think you're "too good" to play by the rules, you've got another thing coming.  So you'd better remember: when Sir Harrison Yates puts on a character, he stays in it.

Next order of business.  Shuttle off-planet leaves at noon.  Pack some clothes and pens for signing autographs and blah blah blah whatever.  HQ has some universal translators and fancy outfits for you punks anyway; not that you deserve anything for breaking and entering and the little matter of almost getting the show canceled.  We're dropping you punks off at Vega 5 for the start of the show, where John Edwards will read all your fortunes as a publicity stunt or something.  I don't really care.  After that, find your own transportation for hitting the other six planets in the solar system.  If you're too pathetic to even do that, the shuttle will pick you back up on Friday to take you to the drag cruise.  Don't accidentally get yourselves murdered by angry aliens, I guess.

((OOC: Stuck on what to do?  Feel free to use these friendly suggestions for what the environments of the various planets are like:

Vega 5: Futurama's New New York with bustling modern cities and lots of fans of the show.

Vega 4: Star Wars Tatooine.  Actually, it's not even Tatooine, it's just the cantina.  Cantina after cantina after cantina.  A planet of cantinas.  They run a cantina-based economy.

Vega 3: Okay, this is Tatooine.

Vega 2: Hitchhiker's Guide's Ursa Minor Beta: lots of beaches, lots of seaside bars, piers, carnivals, and casinos.

There are other planets in the system too, so feel free to get lost and make things up.  There is also a rich mix of aliens, lots of fans, and celebrities.))

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[HQ Post] Coming soon this galgamar

Greetings and congratulations, recruits, for completing your first mini-season!  Total Extreme Drama Town Survivor (™ the Fognal Network) has been a huge success, scoring more views than any other reality TV show this side of the supercluster, beaten only by The John Edward Farts n' Spirits Power Hour. First, some promotions are in order.  Rather than punish you horrifically for trespassing, all of us at HQ are pleased as punch at the complete uproar you've created amongst your devoted fans.  As such, each recruit has received an appropriately-themed Theresa's Real Spies of Jersey kit (For when you need to know what he's up to™), and all Junior Sparkle Cadet guards are hereby promoted to Lil' Sleuths with reconfigured chip access to floor four.  Due to your Plucky Kid Detective skills, you've managed to keep your audiences even more captivated than ever with your precocious human curiosity, breaking at least 86 Fognl set rules by beaming up to our ship and giving your fans a great season finale!  Since you're back Downstairs and 'the gig is up' so to say, let's make this a little less spooky-mystery-voice informal.

All complaints and suggestions should be directed to: Najix, Production room 1, Upstairs, Fognl hub Cd3995. So that's that!  Mini-season's over!  And while the show is on break fans everywhere will be frantically wondering what will happen now that you've broken the "rules."  "Will they be canceled?  Will they be sent to the B-Room as punishment?  Will my favorite character be replaced?"  TV gold!  Fortunately for you kids, corporate has every intention of keeping you on for your two 11-year full-seasons.  In the meantime, we fully intend on keeping you little nuggets busy by pre-filming for quarter-two, and boosting your popularity even further by featuring you on some of the galaxy's most beloved shows.  So don't you worry about that silly "going home" nonsense! This week we'll be packing you off on an all expense-paid trip to Vega 5, where you'll join local aliens in the 66th season of Amazing Race Around the Galaxy.  This celebrity guest week is guaranteed to be packed with scandalous partying and exotic destinations as you race for clues around the paradise planets of Vega.  Because HQ cares, you are allowed to pick your own teammates, and you must be the first team to make it to all six planets' checkpoints in order to win.  Be sure to have fun and put on a good face for your intergalactic fans; just remember: trips off-galaxy are strictly prohibited thanks to Fognl's patented chip technology.  On Friday your trip will culminate in that star-studded Demmi party that we promised you all: a Drag Cruise packed with Fognl celebrities that's sure to be the talk of the tabloids.  Be sure to pack a swimsuit and bring plenty of mandatory supplies of fun!  All food and drinks will be supplied, along with your special cruise attire.

(( {9/28 ETA: new update below the cut}  Congrats on our six-month anniversary, guys!  Wooo!  Characters will be in Andromeda from 9/29 through 10/4, and on the Drag Cruise Demmi Party from 10/5 through 10/7.  This will be very similar to Beiberfest, and as with other miniplots, feel free to get creative when your characters go exploring.  You can create NPCs, alien races, and frothing fans, and if you have any questions, just ask a mod.  At least one Demmi Party log is scheduled for 9 PM EST on 10/7, but let us know if a different time works for you.  Some additional housekeeping is below:

First, starting this week, Cartman-mun/badkittymypotpie has been promoted to our third mod!  Since all of the mods share the same responsibilities, feel free to direct any questions or plot-related shenanigans her way.

Second, this is the final inactivity warning; a few people were notified last week that they've been absent for too long, and those folks have until 10/1 to post or participate in a log before being removed from the character list.  However, if you need a hiatus, just notify a mod!

In addition, for those who weren't around, be sure to read this very important log to get all the juicy details on what's happened at the South Park Rehabilitation Center over the past week.  As a quick recap, the recruits have finally broken into headquarters, and the appropriately-named "Upstairs" is situated on a space ship above the planet.  Beiber is merely a pawn who gained a dictatorship in exchange for a lucrative filming contract, and the reality TV show is run by none other than the Fognl Network, who has decided why stop at mix planets when you can mix entire universes.

Next stop: motherfuckin' space!))

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[HQ Post] {Begin Transmission}

((OOC: Break-in log part 2 has been rescheduled for Thursday at 9:30 PM EST!  Even if you weren't in the first log, come join if you can!))

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Mod post mod post!

((Now that vacations, conventions, moving, etc are over, it's time to get back to our regularly scheduled logging!  In order to better coordinate group logs, this post will serve as an official timer for what is happening when this week.

Order of business 1: This week's mini-event will be some massive breaking-in, in order to try to worm into the restricted sections of South Park.  Sweet things may occur!  Because it is a Big Deal, we don't want to leave anyone out, so there will be at least two logs, where all characters are invited to shenanigans.  The log times are currently as follows: Cartman's Lovely Ice Cream Social (planning): Monday 9 PM EST. Break in log 1: Tuesday 9 PM EST. Break in log 2: Thursday 9:30 PM EST. (UPDATED!!) Auxiliary log if needed: Friday 9 PM EST. If none of these times work for you, post here with what you'd prefer.  As I said, BIG, AWESOME THINGS may happen so if you want to participate, let us know what works for you.

Order of business 2: Now that summer break is over, we're going to try enforcing the posting rules moreso.  We are 100% a-okay with folks taking a break or needing more time, but please be sure to let us know first so that we know you're still interested in the RP!  To remain active, make sure that you are posting at least once a week, or participating in a posted log within that time frame.  If you receive a mod ask, please be sure to post ASAP or chat with a mod to remain in the game!))

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[Application - ACCEPTED] Red Kerrigan

Character Name - Red/Bertha/Rebecca Kerrigan

Character Age - 18

Tumblr URL and Character AIM: http://rkerrigan404.tumblr.com / AIM: rkerrigan404

A little bit about your character’s history.  If applicable, what sort of universe is your character from? Episode Marjorine - playing light as a feather

After exploring a bit into her underlying spiritual side, Red got into a club her freshmen year for young spiritualists. She dropped out of the cheer-leading squad and lost her two best friends, Wendy and Bebe. However, she did become good friends with Heidi - because they share a love for gossiping- and Kevin Stoley finally caught her eye with his knowledge of metaphysics and his interest in the paranormal and science fiction. They started dating sophomore year, and in her senior year he proposed to her because he couldn't imagine living his life without her. She accepted because she believes he is her soul mate. They were going to get married before they go off to Colorado University together. 

Relationships

- Kevin Stoley, engaged. 

- Wendy Testaburger, ex-friends. 

- Heidi, good friends. 

- Clyde Donovan, ex-boyfriend. 

- Bebe Stevens, ex-friends.

A little bit about your character’s personality

Red is adventurous, self-motivated, and energetic. She's usually open-minded, but has strong opinions on certain subjects. Very determined to obtain happiness, whatever it may be, and is deeply and madly in love with Kevin Stoley. 

Sample Tumblr post

I miss Kevin...I even miss him quoting shows like a robot...

Sample third person log post. Skype:

survivoroforder66 - video Henry Homesweet - Wonder Girl Meets Wonder Boy. It reminds me of you and me. 

rkerrigan401 - heh i love you

survivoroforder66 - I know. 

survivoroforder66 - You're the only female I have ever dated who lets me quote Star Wars when making a declaration of love. 

rkerrigan401 - what other females? a hug from sally in fifth grade doesn't count as dating

survivoroforder66 - A hug is a big step in a relationship you know.

rkerrigan401 - oh yes I know it's right up there with first kiss

She smiled and she shut off her phone as she leaned against the counter. She was impatiently waiting for her allergy medication prescription to be filled. As she watched the pharmacist shuffle through the bags hanging on the pre-filled rack, she looked back at her glowing screen and realized Kevin sent something else. 

survivoroforder66 - I just finished our castle in Terraria but Clyde put a dirt taco in the sky.

rkerrigan401 - awwww really 

survivoroforder66 - Can he keep it?

rkerrigan401 - yeah I guess but tell him to stop dicking around with our world haha

"Here's your prescription," the pharmacist told her, handing her the bag and taking the money she had laid out on the counter. After the interaction was complete, she walked out to her car and sat in the front seat. 

survivoroforder66 - Want to see the taco? 

rkerrigan401 - uh ok? 

She waited for a moment for the picture to load after clicking off, and stared at her iPhone with a blank expression on her face. In the dirt blocks of the game Terraria, "Will you marry me Red?" was spelled out with candles positioned on the blocks, with Kevin's little icon in the center holding a candle as well. Placing her hand on her lips as she stared at the screen, it took her a moment to respond. 

rkerrigan401 - yes.

((Everyone welcome Red!!  To get started, be sure to turn on asks/submits/replies etc, and friend all of the journals listed here.  As a bit of a primer, you can also read through our intro guide here if you haven’t already.

Right now everyone is participating in this week's miniplot, Truth Week, where the kids are unable to lie when asked questions.  However, if this is too much to handle your first week you may choose whether or not you want Red to participate.  In addition, be sure to sign on AIM when you have the chance for introductions or if you have any questions!))

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[Yates Post] What we have here is a failure to communicate

Before any of you scumbags embarrass yourselves any more than you already have, it's time for a little history lesson.  Apparently some people haven't been paying attention during your emoticons language class, so he's a little crash course.  Clean out your ears and listen up to this excerpt from the Beiberpedia:

Ship/Pairing.  Shipping, derived from the word relationship, is the belief that two characters are in an intimate relationship, have romantic feelings that could potentially lead to a relationship, or have another form of less intimate relationship, which may involve platonic friendship, or even violence. It is considered a general term for fans' emotional involvement with the ongoing development of romance in a work of fiction. Though technically applicable to any such involvement, it refers chiefly to various related social dynamics observable on the Internet, and is seldom used outside of that context.

Got it?  Good, because I'm not repeating it.  Since you punks are so behind in your history lessons, here's a short list of other terms you've been sleeping through:

OTP.  One true pairing.  This is your crazed fan's favorite pairing, usually coupled with complete obsession.  Do not under any circumstances insult your fans' OTP.  I'm watching you.

Slash/Femslash/Yaoi.  The pairing up of same-sex characters, usually for purposes of fanfic or fanart.

Fic/fanfic.  A fictional story about the characters, written by fans, for fans.  Usually about your angsty-ass back story or two people hooking up and swapping spit (see OTP).

Mpreg.  Man-pregnancy.  You are a man who got pregnant, usually from another man.  Through the butt.

Since you punks are so eager to catch up on the schoolwork you missed, we are canceling The History of Beiber this week to give you more time to answer your questions.  Instead, read your damn book for once.  Assigned chapters are eight through ten, and before I go back to reading through your embarrassing tumblrs, here's an excerpt.  Memorize it.

The start of the Golden Era of reality TV (circa 2000 - Present) is commonly thought to correspond with the landslide defeat of ticket Sadaam-Beiber over presidential nominee George Bush; however, in reality the cooperation between the FBN and the Almighty Beiber began some time before that.  The depressed economy that began in 1929 and continued through the late 90s made New England America an easy take for the cheap, affordable entertainment offered by startup company FBN.  FBN's origins are an unknown, but they quickly rose to become a household name in 1999 with the startling amount of money poured into the classic television launch of Survivor, That's My Nana, and Two Men and a Sausage. NBN's true rise to global stardom however came with their partnership with the young political hopefuls Saddam and Beiber (then known only as Saddam Hussein).  FBN's financial backing was soon rewarded by a market monopoly over all broadcasts, as well as necessary improvements to communication infrastructure in order to better transmit the television that had already transfixed America.  Soon, the successful entertainment company was pouring revenue into their native headquarters of New Jersey, transforming the once-desolate wasteland into the rich, lavish pride of the Northern Hemisphere.  New Jersey's transformation and stark devotion to both the Almighty Beiber and FBN soon became a shining example for the rest of the world, revitalizing a global interest in luxuries such as fashion, merchandise, and lavish spending for the first time in half a century.  With promises to deliver the same financial transformation to the rest of the country, the 2000 election was called in favor of Sadaam-Beiber within two hours of counting. [The History of the Modern World, pg 209]

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[HQ Post] By the fans, for the fans!

Hello, recruits, from your favorite eye in the sky!  We at HQ were tickled pink by your fabulous performances at Beiberfest, and it goes without saying that your fans were too!  So for this week's challenge we're going to reward the people who make your recovery at the SPRC possible: that's right, this week you'll be catering to your millions of fans around the world!  The relaxing honeymoon's over, so time to pick up those pens and open your ask boxes to answer the burning questions that your fans will be sending in. And just to give you a little edge, we are pleased to inform you that your meals for the past week have been laced with a perfectly harmless neurotoxin.  You may find that you are more - let's say - "compelled" to answer any and all questions that come your way.  Furthermore, to make sure that all recruits are behaving honestly, Gramma Betty's Friendly Little Bit Of Persuasion (tm Betty White lmtd) guarantees that all questions that you do answer are one hundred percent honest and true.  Only the best for our fans! Finally, we are very excited to award Miss Kafton and Mr. Broflovski with this week's top award in honor of their upcoming big day!  Both of you will receive a romantic evening out to Chez Gaga, two sessions of Indoor Tanning and teeth whitening and a 500 Beiberbuck shopping spree at Hilton Arts.  Hilton Arts: when nudity just isn't enough.  Furthermore, every recruit will receive a new suit or dress for the event from Miss Hilton's newest line of sultry-yet-revealing wear.  We at HQ are counting down the days to our very own Royal Wedding, so be sure to smile for the cameras.

((OOC: Time for Miniplot VI: Truth week!  From now until next Thursday, the kids will find that they are no longer able to lie.  However, they may dodge the question, skirt around it, or flat-out ignore any asks they receive.  This also applies to questions posed in-person.  That being said, they may find that it's not so easy to ignore stupid questions as it once was: one of the affects is that they may find themselves impulsively answering things they never would have earlier.  How much your character is affected and what they are able to resist answering is up to you.

The second part to this event is a flood of NPC fangirls!  As with Beiberfest, feel free to play as many show fans/haters/etc as you want, either via anonymous asks or via other tumblrs.  Literally everyone can participate.  Also, questions are not just limited to fangirls: for normal RPing purposes, they will also be compelled to answer truthfully (or dodge) when asked interrogated by other kids via the ask box, regular tumblr, aim, or logs as well.))

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[Yates Post] Welcome back, scumbags

Welcome back, scumbags.  Let's just say you acted pretty much exactly how I knew you would: like a bunch of immature, whiny sissies.  We've got some detentions to dish out on account of your uncanny knack for being bunch of uncouth punks:

Stan Marsh.  For general dickbaggery in front of the Almighty Beiber.  Report to the B Room.  Third floor.

Damien Thorne.  For setting private property on fire.  B Room.  Third floor.

Bridon Gueermo.  For smacking the Almighty Beiber in the face with a rubber dick.  B Room.  Third floor.

I'm not playing around this time.  You're in for a treat.  The rest of you have a stack of 50 photographs to autograph in your rooms, to be handed in during this week's remedial History of Beiberland class. Next, we've got some rooming changes.  Girls, your Minaj Mansion is ready for move-in.  Not that you deserve it.  Pack your bags. Since HQ has decided to grace us with another of you punks, Tweak or Tweek or whatever your name is, you're in Paula Dean house.  So step off of whatever drugs you're on and unpack.  Here at the South Park Rehabilitation Center, we keep a drug-free facility.  Save for those on the approved list of course.

((OOC: Get ready for some serious personality-adjusting!  The B-Room is the grand-daddy of behavioral therapy: recruits are temporarily brain washed and have their memories wiped, instead replacing them with a more TV-friendly personality for them to learn from.  The recruit can exhibit symptoms anywhere from a simple personality swap, to behaving like entirely alternate universe versions of themselves, so this is your chance to have fun and get creative.  Effects last anywhere from 3-7 days.

This is not technically a mini-event, but will instead become a form of punishment used whenever the kids push their bounds a little too far.  If you'd like to participate in the future, just talk to a mod and start snooping! >:) We've still got a lot planned and a bunch more for the kids to discover.))

[relaxguy-blog]

[Application - Accepted] Tweek Tweak

Character Name Tweek Tweak

Character Age   22

Tumblr URL and AIM    http://spacetweak.tumblr.com / Spacetweak  

A little bit about your character’s history.  In tweaks home universe, having Kenny's soul inside Cartman never made him sick, so in the "cancelled" episode, Tweak, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman with Kenny's soul all went up to space.  However, without his own body, Kenny never took the incriminating picture of the Jewsians, so the boys were unable to save earth.      

After earth was destroyed, the boys took shelter working for the ice cream pooping taco alien.  Three years have passed, and following suspicious patterns stitched into the background of the broadcasts, Kyle uncovered a secret so powerful that it put the balance of the whole galaxy at risk. Before disappearing forever, Kyle managed to get one last message to the rest of the guys.  "get out now, the station is after this encrypted message, it's too late for me but a war will come and this message might be our only hope." the rest of the message was locked tightly. The boys spent the next ten years trying to outrun the media, and find someone who could figure out the encryption. Over the years, the boys lost much of their moral compass, and fell in line behind Eric. They became The most feared gang of drug dealing space pirates in eons. Eventually they managed to take the smartest Jewsians in the galaxy captive. He was able to decrypt only a few sentences. Said we needed a key to read the rest.  "They're brainwashing  beings all over the galaxy, take this message home and find the key to take them down." The Jewsian was helpful, but not enough. Cartman assured them that the execution would be totally awesome for their reputation. 

A little bit about your character’s personality        Tweak is much the same lovable caffeine addict he once was, although caffeine is only grown on earth, so he's now just a blech addict. He and Kenny were very supportive of Eric's drug business.  After many a pirate adventure, tweak is quite toned and a bit more violent. (drugs, man. They do crazy things..)

Relationships      Tweak and Kenny basically became best friends, but the situation was strange because of tweaks love interest in cartman. (who, being a drug lord/pirate king, never took notice.)

Sample Tumblr post       Ah!! The underwear gnomes are herre! I took out maybe ten of them but ah! Oh god they keep coming!!

Sample third person log post      Breathing hard and bleeding badly, tweak managed to pull himself out of the wreckage. His vision still blurry and his head spinning too fast to recall where he was, or even how he got there, there was only one thing tweak noticed before passing out... The smell of a fresh cup of coffee.... 

((Everyone be sure to friend and welcome Tweek! :)  The kids are returning from their Beiberfest extravaganza in Denver later today, so feel free to have Tweek wake up in his South Park dorm whenever you'd like.))

[relaxguy-blog]

[Yates Post] Another one?

HQ sure knows how to time it, don't they.  I don't get paid nearly enough to deal with this bullhockey.

Kyle Schwartz, welcome to the South Park Rehabilitation Center for blah blah since the girls have been moved, you are assigned to the Paula Dean house with a state of the art kitchen blah blah whatever.  You're in Denver for the week.  Don't embarrass me or HQ in front of the Almighty Beiber or you're gonna regret it.  Testaburger, your new accountabilibuddy is this scumbag here; show him the ropes and don't let him out of your sight.

[relaxguy-blog]

[Application - Accepted] Kyle Schwartz

Character Name: Kyle Schwartz

Character Age: 19

Tumblr URL: http://kyleschwartz4vr.tumblr.com /AIM: ohjesus01

A little bit about your character’s history: Kyle comes from a well-to-do family in upstate Connecticut and was born an only child. Ever since he invested in “It,” his financial status really took off. He became a Wall Street millionaire at the tender age of nine. With the money he was able to take care of his sick mother, providing her with the best medical care available. As the years went on, he continued to make wise financial decisions and currently has a net worth of 1.8 billion. Unfortunately, his vast fortune was unable to win him friends. In fact, he made more enemies in the business world. Kyle has always been a bit neurotic and has a tendency to think that other investors are “pulling fast ones” on him. He only has some trust towards his family. This is also due to the fact that he never had any friends as a child. Relationships: The Schwartz and Broflovski families visit each other on various occasions, such as Jewish holidays. Kyle has always had a fairly close relationship with his parents. His father is an accountant and his mother owns a Jewish deli. Kyle’s cousins are not very receptive of him. He thinks his cousin Kyle is sort of a douche bag and is indifferent towards Ike. Kyle doesn’t have many close relationships with people outside his family. His business acquaintances are kept at an arm’s length; he only will butter them up if it’s in his best financial interest.

A little bit about your character’s personality: Ever since he was a child, he has been extremely neurotic and pessimistic. He would always worry about germs and diseases, thinking any little thing would lead to death. He has the propensity to make a mountain out of a molehill. While he socializes with people, he has a problem getting truly close to anybody, believing their only interest is in his fortune. He sometimes suffers from sporadic panic attacks and has obsessive compulsive tendencies. While he can appear “normal” in his everyday life, he is plagued by his disorders on a regular basis. There always is a storm raging inside of him. Kyle is also very frugal and must think over every single purchase he makes. While this helps him in business, it is a hindrance on trying to build true relationships.

Sample Tumblr post: I don’t really know what this Tumblr thing is, is it kind of like Twitter? Alright then, I guess I can tell you about my day. I was taking a walk through Central Park and got this awful Charley horse in my leg. It was so bad I thought I was going to collapse, and then I did. I fell to the ground and one of those horse carriages almost hit me the head. Jesus, watch where you’re going.

  Sample third person log post: It was a gray and rainy day in New York City. Armed with his umbrella, Kyle walked to another Jewish deli to check out the competition his mother faced. He opened the door to a place called 2nd Ave Deli. The place was supposed to be kosher so he figured it would be worth trying. The hostess showed Kyle to a booth. He wasn’t too keen on the location because of his proximity to the bathroom. ‘What if it smells like diarrhea in the middle of my meal?’ his mind raced. His hazel eyes scanned the menu before deciding on a pastrami sandwich with matzo ball soup on the side. A waitress arrived within minutes after seeing the young adult put his menu down. “What can I get for you?” she asked, pen at the ready. “Well, I think I’ve decided on the pastrami sandwich and matzo ball soup. And I’ll just have water for my drink,” he replied, knowing he couldn’t shell out the extra $2.50 for a soda. “Okay,” she scribbled down his order and took his menu. “I’ll be back in a minute with your water.” “Thank you very much,” Kyle told her as he grabbed some hand sanitizer from his coat pocket. ‘Those menus are so filthy, you never know if the hostess has washed her hands. All those people that could have touched it before me could have been sick. I don’t need to be catching an illness at a time like this,’ he ruminated. It was more like two minutes when she returned. “Here’s your water, sir,” she said, placing it on the table along with a complementary appetizer of garlic pickles. “Oh, Jesus,” Kyle stammered, his eyes locked on the pickles. “Will those give me gas? I-I don’t want to be burping it up all night.” The waitress gave the curly haired man a bewildered look before mumbling something about it being fine and taking off. “Alright then,” he retorted grabbing one of the pickles. As soon as it touched his lips, he felt a burning sensation, feeling the small bite he took burn all the way down his esophagus. “Oh, merciful Jesus! I need milk! Help!” He called, flagging down another waitress who was serving brunch to a nearby family. He guzzled down a glass, receiving copious amounts of stares from the people around him. “You know you can really kill people with those things,” he told the waitress, handing her back the glass. “That’s the last time I ever try something new.” In his mind, Kyle already knew he was going to tip less than twenty percent.

((Welcome, Kyle S!  When you have a chance, please be sure to turn on your tumblr's replies/asks/submits, and friend all of the journals listed here.  As a bit of a primer, you can also read through our intro guide here if you haven't already.

As a note, the kids are all currently staying in the cultural mecha of Denver, during their week long visit to Beiberfest.  Kyle will likely wake up, confused, in his bed at the Airport Hilton.  If you have any questions or would just like to say 'hi' to the group, feel free to message a mod or hop on AIM when you have the chance!))