For all those monstrous muses out there! Be cautious if youâre not comfortable with mentions of body horror, blood, and violence. There is also plenty of cursing in this meme. Special thanks to @vriisketâ for helping me come up with a lot of these!
âI, uh⊠Iâm having a hard time believing youâre anything close to human.â
âHey! Wanna see me shove a tentacle through someoneâs eye socket?â
âIâm pretty sure human anatomy doesnât work that way, but okay!â
âOh, shit, dude! Nice horns! Can I touch them?â
âHave you come to destroy reality as I know it, or are you a benevolent kind of monstrosity?â
âWhat the FUCK is going on with your face?â
âYâknow what? Iâm not even going to ask about all of the eyes.â
âHow do you go to the bathroom?â
âDo those teeth serve ANY purpose?â
âIs that slime acidic?â
âIf I touch you, will I die?â
âDude! You canât just go around, smashing your enemies into walls with those⊠those⊠Whatever those are!â
âI can devour my enemies whole, and I will.â
âAre⊠Are thoseâŠ? Never mind. I donât want to know.â
âIf I promise to worship you as the new all-powerful divine ruler of our worthless dimension, will you let me live?â
âSwear your loyalty to me, and you might just survive the end of the world.â
âBack in my home dimension, we used to eat planets and stars for fun!â
âHave you ever had to pick out the bony remains of some poor human who dared to question your authority from your teeth?â
âYouâve got me scared to even disagree with you on simple things, dude. Put those claws away!â
âDo you know what a shower is?â
âI eat hearts. Literally.â
âAnd what sort of unspeakable horror have I upset this time?â
âDo you melt when in direct contact with water?â
âWhoa! âŠLovecraft would be proud.â
âDid I step into an H.R. Giger exhibit?â
âI donât think I would really mind if you took over our world! I mean, you look pretty cool, and I donât think you could do any worse than our current world leaders.â
âSo⊠do you bleed? Like, at all?â
âI am sufficiently horrified and all you did was move three feet.â
âMy blood looks like a rainbow!â
âAre you, perhaps, related to Cthulhu?â
âIâve got several tusks here with your name on all of them.â
âI was born from human agony.â
âWhat? Did you think I would shift forms to look more like one of your species? Please!â
âWait, so⊠You can shapeshift?â
âWhy do you only have one eye?â
âThat is some weird blood ya got there. Why isnât it red?â
âAre you able to see more colors than humans?â
âOh, shit! I didnât think that stupid summoning spell would actually work!â
âHow long have you been watching me from the shadows?â
âPlease donât eat me! I donât have any nutritional value!â
âDo you know the secrets of the universe? If so, can you teach them to me?â
âI NEVER want to encounter you when youâre mad EVER again! That was disturbing on SO MANY levels!â
âMorality is stupid, and so are you if you think Iâm gonna abide by human morals.â
âOkay, like⊠This question has been bothering me a lot lately. Do you eat people? Is that rude to ask?â
âWHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY MOUTHS? WHATâS THE POINT?!â
âIâm starting to think releasing you from your ancient prison was a mistake.â
âThe more arms you have, the more hugs you can give! Right? Right?? Thatâs⊠Thatâs why you have so many arms, right?â
âPlease eat our president. We donât like him.â
âNo, no, no! NO! I am SO not ready for another monster war!â
âLook what I can do with my hands!â
âAre all of those eyes really necessary? Like, really?â
âHow did you fit through the door?â
âAre emotions just a human thing? Do you feel emotions?â
âThatâs species-ist, pal.â
âItâs called aflehiba, but you humans wouldnât understand.â
âFrom one monster to anotherâŠÂ What the fuck?â
âFUCK OFF, JOHN! YOUâRE NOT EVEN TASTY!â
âWould it hurt you if I cut off one of your legs?â
âYOU FOOL! YOUâVE SUMMONED THE GREAT- are those marshmallows?â
âAww, yeah! Monster party!â
âI never thought anyone could be the living embodiment of every paradox and optical illusion in existence until I met you. So, from the bottom of my heart, I just want to say⊠Go fuck yourself.â
âSo does⊠does that always do that?â
âHumans and their stupid concepts of âgoodâ and âevil.â Donât they understand that their lifespans are too short to care about morals?â
âHow long do you live? And how long is that in years?â
âLook⊠I know youâre not Satan, but, uh⊠Not today, Satan.â
âI accept you as our new god! âŠPlease donât eat me.â
âNot all monsters are bad, kiddo. I just happen to be one of the worst ones in existence!â
âWhatâs the deal with deals? Why do you want to make them so badly?â
âNah, buddy! I donât do contracts. My guardian always told me never to trust weird eldritch horrors offering contracts in dark, abandoned alley ways.â
âIs that a tooth or a claw?â
âCan you tell me the exact time and date of my death?â
âI could kill you right now. I really could! So donât test me.â