find me where the wild things are

TFP OC Cirrus | sideblog to darkchestoftales

[relentlesshorizon]

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[zephyruslights]

ride it, my pony 🎶

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[neon-glowing-rainbow-stims]

🎳 ~ N I C E S H O T ~ 🎳 (src1) (src2)

(Credit if you use these!)

[janasojka]

NIGHT DRIVE DAFFODILS

[greelin]

they should invent a medicine that makes the aching jagged wound in your soul close

[nocturnal-stims]

Reblog to make a wish

🌠 Paulmsmithphotography on IG

[l0stvegas]

Can’t figure out what to do with this creepy old playground painting I did (based on a photo by @lakeofclovers) so I put this silhouette in it. 🤷 What do you all think

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

[redacted] isn’t enough i need [redacted]

[autobotmedic]

"Unfortunately, hate comes too easily in war," he murmurs, reflecting on his own familiarity with that sentiment. Sometimes, it had been a spiteful motivator, other times, it was just exhausting.

He is silent as Cirrus begins to ramble a bit, confirming that yes, that was a cause for some of his behavior around Ratchet. It made sense, and considering Cirrus had claimed he was not afraid of him, he had not been able to think of another strong reason.

"..." As Cirrus continues, speaking about his uncertainty of remaining or developing a connection, the scientist squints, analyzing...

"The individual I lost was different from the one you knew. You didn't... bring him back. You gave me a new piece of his past." Which he appreciates, but it is no reason to forcibly keep Cirrus here. "He is gone. Whether you stay or go does not change that, nor mend my grief. You are not under any obligation to me."

His dentae grind slightly as he stares at a wall, as though envisioning another standing there. "Hweeljack needs to get his helm out of his own tailpipe instead of acting ridiculous because of what he thinks I need or want."

[relentlesshorizon]

"I guess that's true." The very existence of the War, the levels of violence and killing involved—even imagining it shocks him. How can someone live in such a way? It seems to be a whole different type of reality. From that perspective, maybe Wheeljack's vitriol is a little less shocking. Maybe it pales in comparison to his hatred of certain enemies.

He blinks over at Ratchet as he clarifies his own perspective. "... That helps a lot, knowing that. I guess I may have misunderstood, a little.... Well, the whole Wheeljack thing has been pretty distracting. I guess I might've let his perspective weigh on me also." He hadn't meant to; Ratchet is his own individual, with his own preferences independent of Wheeljack's or anyone else's, and he tries to always keep that sort of thing in mind. Wheeljack has just... well, it's certainly something.

The implication that Ratchet would not mind him leaving, though—that immediately begins to diffuse the itchy discomfort in his spark that always arrives when he starts feeling trapped.

Cirrus gives a weak laugh. "He really does have his helm stuck up there, huh? Seems like he needs a good shake, really...." He pauses. "I hope... I hope he sees some sense, for your sake. ... And mine."

[janasojka]

Night landscapes.

[janasojka]

so blue

[cleverreports]

We report: we ask our expert what is the name of the arc above the sun, and a few minutes later, they are talking about the shape of ice crystals and their orientation. Amidst all this, we manage to obtain the name: upper tangent arc. We look at the sun dogs through our fingers.

[relentlesshorizon]

What kind of tears are you?

The Healing Tear

You are the tear that soothes. Your emotion is not just for release, but for connection, a bridge between hurting and healing. You reach for presence over perfection, and when you cry, it’s a gentle unraveling. You are the hug that lasts too long, the walk with no destination, the kind word that saves someone’s day

[autobotmedic]

They sit in the quiet, and Ratchet resets his voicebox in an effort to prevent any other audio breaks. It is odd to think about what he 'gets' out of something that is so deeply part of him, even without 'getting' anything at all... And he does not want to express how drastically imbalanced his extensive list of experiences may actually be.

Ratchet gives a slight nod to the thanks. "I sympathize because you have been placed in a confusing situation that you are trying to understand. I also do not feel I am wasting my metaphorical breath by answering, because you listen..." His digits strum his own armor. "And, it is. Interesting. To speak to another close to my age, with a very different life perspective."

His thoughts cycle back to the idea of Cirrus being able to cause him emotional harm. He can think of only one logical connection for Wheeljack to consider that plausible.

"... In case it is part of the awkwardness you feel toward me, I want you to know that I would have reacted similarly, taken the same steps, if you didn't know Orion. I viewed you as a neutral, returning stranger first, before anything else." Ratchet's optics soften from restrained pain. "I do.. cherish, having new memories of him through you, but I would have protected you, regardless. "... I don't think Wheeljack understands that." He cannot help wondering if his overprotectiveness is rooted in viewing Ratchet as weak and compromised due to his grief. Worse still, Ratchet could not even deny that he was, but he is certain that did not shape his moral ground.

[relentlesshorizon]

"Mmh," he hums in agreement. "It's been driving me pretty crazy, trying to guess what's up with him. I've never... I've never had someone hate me like that."

He smiles at the comment on him listening. Even if it's just an aside comment, it's nice to hear. "We're pretty old, huh.... Time is sure something."

His expression sobers as Ratchet continues, bringing up Cirrus's awkwardness around him. "It's hard to explain fully, but that's a big part of it, I think, yeah..." he admits. "Not that I don't think you wouldn't defend someone on principle, based on what I've learned about you so far, but... well, it's just... it's a factor that's kinda hard to ignore. I'm glad you see me as a separate individual first, though. I'm okay with bonding over a... a mutual friend, but I don't want that to be the only thing, if I'm going to be around for a longer time. Not that we have to— I mean, if we end up spending time together. More, or the same amount... whatever happens." His audials twitch and he smiles with some of that awkwardness.

"With Wheeljack..." he adds, "I also wonder if he's worried about... if you got more attached to me—I don't really make a secret about not liking to be tied down in one place. I don't like leaving broken sparks behind, but it's something that..." He grows quiet for a moment, remembering. In many cases, he doubts he's mattered enough to cause all that much pain, but there are some where he has little doubt that he has. "... It's not impossible," he finishes in a lower voice.

"... Though, short of another war, I don't plan on totally vanishing into space again for the foreseeable future. Space bridges are pretty amazing. I hope they stay accessible to people like me." The amount of bureaucratic hoops—and risk, for an ex-convict like himself—that it'd taken him to get access on prewar Cybertron meant that once he'd left that first time, going back to visit wasn't really in the cards.

[charl0ttan]

every time u interact w a person thats a person youre interacting with and thats a very special thing i believe

[relentlesshorizon]

new tag for @autobotmedic !

〚 autobotmedic 〛ǫᴜɪᴇᴛ ɪᴄᴇ˗ᴍᴇʟᴛ; sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ˗ʀᴇᴅ ᴄᴇᴅᴀʀ

It's a song Cirrus has shared with Ratchet that Ratchet liked, and the aesthetics of this line have a Ratchet sort of vibe to him, due to Ratchet's hobbies and interests (likes cold and wood carving), location when they met (Earth, specifically a place with red trees, even if not the same type), and also a metaphorical vibe of like... fire and ice personality, but a gentle version of it.

I'm using an alternative symbol in place of hyphens so I hopefully don't have to always copy and paste it. 😭 I hope it displays properly for everyone.

[autobotmedic]

The comment about confirmation inspires a blink, as Ratchet is surprised Cirrus managed to get any clear fragment of information. How, exactly, did Wheeljack think a neutral non-combatant was going to hurt him?

Blinking a few times, he attempts to refocus as Cirrus speaks again, but he only listens. He does not have an answer for his question, nor does he know what the Wrecker thinks.

Ratchet nods to the thank you, then looks elsewhere as he considers his direct inquiry. Benefit? Benefit would imply a personal variant, rather than occupational. He supposes he should answer based on that. Otherwise, he would be deflecting Cirrus, too, and the poor guy has already experienced plenty of that.

"... That depends on whether or not they take it for granted. If they don't, if I feel cared for in return, then they are worth trying to understand, compromise, and become closer. If they do, or if they make it too difficult on me emotionally, then I.. just..." His optics shutter, and his voice faintly cracks, "I can't." His spark is too damaged to be that selfless any longer. There are days he struggles to keep himself together at all. He is a pillar who cannot afford another blow to his foundation, or he may finally collapse.

[relentlesshorizon]

Seeing Ratchet's confused expression, Cirrus tries to clarify, "I mean, I think he's worried about emotionally, now, mostly—probably. I don't think he's assuming I'm a secret Decepticon anymore."

He listens when Ratchet speaks again. His expression softens visibly at the crack in his voice, and he just gazes at him like that for several moments before saying anything.

"That's really fair... more than fair," he murmurs. "I'm glad you get something out of it, when the circumstances are right." It's helpful, knowing that—Ratchet's kindness is more than just his job, or pure selflessness. That'll make him feel less weird about accepting it.

... He assumes Wheeljack is in the 'making it difficult' category. Based on his own judgement, anyway. Such a lack of communication is certainly difficult on him. Wheeljack isn't trying to be friends with him, but Ratchet seems to be facing similar issues regardless.

Thinking about Ratchet's tendency towards being private and reserved, Cirrus adds, "Thanks for answering my questions... I appreciate that."