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me legit
some of you weren’t around for the fan fiction dot net purge of 2002 (when they banned explicit content and mass-deleted thousands of fics) and the livejournal purge of 2007 (when they deleted hundreds of blogs, disproportionately targeting queer & kink content) and it shows
this kind of policing is why ao3 was created
remember, kids, the three laws of fandom are:
- don’t like; don’t read
- your kink is not my kink
- ship and let ship
your kink is not my kink *but your kink is okay* don't forget that part
your kink is not my
kink *but your kink is okay*
don’t forget that part
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
My contempt towards a brand is directly proportional to how often they interrupt my playlists.
My late father was the one who taught me to be cynical about advertising, for all that putting up ads was literally his whole job. He taught me from a very young age that advertising is expensive, and they tack that cost onto the price. That if something is heavily advertised, you can count on the fact that there's an identical product out there, usually even manufactured in the same factory, that's cheaper because they don't spend all that money on advertising.
A German friend walked me through Lidl, turning over items to show the factories where the items were manufactured and what expensive brands they correspond to, we did taste tests on some of the more pricey food things later and they were the same product. learning about food manufacturing was a hobby for her.
European glasses and sunglasses are made in the same Italian factories that make the luxury ones, they have the same quality control and warranty. You are paying €100 for a logo.
Some things cost more because they are actually made with better quality materials and where the workers are properly compensated, others are the same product as the off brand version with the brand name markup. It takes a lifetime to learn the intricacies which is why consumer advocacy associations and legal protection by (truly) independent agencies is crucial.
Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying GenericÂ
and for the lady, perhaps a man who knows how to make you cum?
salad is mostly items
This is what hozier meant when he says he falls a little bit in love everyday with someone new
I once watched a girl in the produce aisle pick up a bushel of bananas that were precariously perched on the edge and move them farther back and under her breath she said “there you go sweeties - that will be more comfortable” before shuffling off and… I think about her often.
« Silent lovers » is such a sweet way to put it.
I was driving on the highway and passed a dude absolutely JAMMING alone in his car, doing those little half dance moves you do when you’re stuck sitting down in a small space, bellowing unheard lyrics at the top of his lungs, and my instant reaction was to think “I love you.” And then to pray he had a good day, or whatever, because those fleeting moments of connection are so incredible.
tumblr putting mature content labels on the most random posts kills me.. ah yes you went outside and got yourself a coffee? that’s a blasphemy
I feel like simply calling JK Rowling a transphobe isn't strong enough anymore. Like. This is not your grandpa calling you by your deadname at a restaurant kind of transphobic. This is her wanting to eradicate all trans people (with an extra special hatred towards trans women specifically). This is her trying just that by personally funding transphobic hate groups with millions to push around laws in the UK. It is not hyperbolic to call her a dangerous, genocidal maniac.
It's not about cancelling a problematic writer. It's about literally trying to save lives by denying her as much money and power as possible.
i wish we were able to talk about women's rights without someone mentioning how much they do or don't want to have sex with them. i don't care if you're a lesbian Stop finding worth in women purely from their perceived attractiveness
"I think women should not be expected to shave for societal respect / to avoid discrimination" "yeah🤤 i love bush" ok well that's not what we're talking about is it.
i hate how many posts about trans women deserving respect always devolve into "I love girldick" or "trans rights but I don't want to date a trans person" because that's entirely unrelated to the topic at hand. you should not respond to feminism with "YESSS I loveeee you because I see you as nothing but a sex object" you people sound like other men I get stuck talking with that end up saying "free the nipple so I can see boobies in public" and thinking they're feminists. why can't we just respect women regardless of your attraction to them or not. why does it need to be brought up in every conversation regarding their rights
Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine
"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."
we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze
the only fun addition to this post
Girl that's literally Perry the platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz
it's got solitaire btw. if you even care
oh my god it's got smallitaire
Simon "Ghost" Riley is not the kind of man to get your name tattooed on his skin.
He is the kind of man to get a red line tattooed, though.
"And what's this one?" You point to a circle-shaped serpent eating its own tail. "What does it mean?"
Simon closes his eyes for a moment, relishing on the feeling of having your hands on him. Your fingertips trace the black ink on his bicep, touch soft, touch too soft for him. Too tender. He shivers.
"Ouroboros," he grunts out, voice thick, as though that should clarify everything. The arm he has wrapped around your middle is pushed away as you sit up on the bed and glare down at him. He holds your glare for a moment, not because he’s returning it, but because your eyes are so beautiful and expressive that he bet he could tell what you're feeling just by the looks you give him.
Right now, you’re feeling mildly annoyed; he's confident in that.
His arm snakes around you, lightly pulling you back to lay beside him again, squeezing your waist as an apology. You relent, allowing him to pull you, resting your head just under his chin. "Means cycle," he murmurs against your hair. "Means..." he sighs heavily, not really into this whole pillow talk thing you’re doing, but indulging you still. Anything for you. "Means eternal cycle. Bein' stuck in it. Never breakin' free; eatin' you away."
That's the meaning he'd attributed to it, when he got that tattoo. Corny in hindsight, but true, nonetheless. Accurately reflects his life; born to a druggie father who'd beat him up, and his brother, and his mother. Grew up to be an angry teen and even angrier adult, so full of rage it scared him. Burdened to a shitty life as a butcher, and stubbornly rejecting it and choosing his own destiny by joining the military didn't help much. More suffering there, more violence, more blood. Different, but at its core, the same. Certainly didn’t stop things from crashing down right in front of him; didn’t stop his brother from following his father's footsteps and shooting junk up his veins. Didn’t stop his family from being killed. Over and over and over again; past, present and future, always been like that for him, full of grief and anger and violence, no matter how hard he tried to break free.
Until you. Until he met you.
You went quiet for a while in his arms, a frown on your face, looking pensive. Simon takes it all in while he can; he takes in the weight of your body against his, the smell of your hair, of your skin, of sex. The feeling of your body rising and falling with your breathing against his ribs, of your warmth, of the little hairs on your forearm that stand up as he traces an aimless finger there. Then you shoot up again, disrupting his quiet relaxation once more.
"Well," you start, turning away from him and rummaging inside one of the drawers on the bedside table. He feels your absence like he’s got a collapsed lung and someone has ripped away the oxygen mask from his face. "You're just perpetuating it, then. With that tattoo."
Simon lifts a skeptical brow. "Meanin'?"
"Meaning," you triumphantly hold up for him a red sharpie, "you're doing it wrong. If you want to break free, you gotta kill the snake."
He watches, immobile, as you uncap the pen and draw a single, thick line across the serpent's neck, like you’re effectively cutting its head off. The red ink contrasts nicely with the black, almost making it look real. Final.
"There," you smile amusedly, though behind your eyes Simon can see the seriousness there. The sternness of you, like you have his shoulders pinned with an iron grip, nails digging into his skin so he can’t tear himself away, an angry frown on your face, teeth bared. Like you’re shaking him, shaking the suffering off him, shaking all of the blood off, the death, the rage, the sadness and the violence. Forcefully cleansing him of the guilt that sticks to his skin like tar. "You've been freed."
Simple as that. Like he has no choice but to accept it. Accept your kindness, your understanding, your mercy. Let it make him into a better man; into a better person. Let you help him to forgive himself.
He'd spent almost a week bent awkwardly over the shower so the water wouldn't wash away your red line.
"If you don't got this exact shade of red ink," Simon had warned the tattoo artist, a scrawny bloke shaking from head to toe, "I'm –" gonna make you do it with your own blood, is what Simon was about to say, but stopped himself before the words had built up. Cutting the snake's head off, or whatever. "I'm leavin'."
Innocent Party*
Rhysand x Azriel x mate!reader
Summary: Azriel knew when sharing a mate with his best friend and high lord that things could become messy, what he also knew is that when he went on missions how much his shared mate and friend loved to be rougher in bed. He just didn’t realize how much
Warnings: smut, p in v, dom and sub play, choking, sex toys usage, edging, dirty talk, mirror sex, basically all smut and no plot.
Authors note: I always love ideas of shared mates and I have a couple of Eris and Azriel I can’t wait to post!
Main Masterlist:
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The darkness of the bedroom was only broken by the soft glow of faelights and the reflection in the large, ornate mirror positioned across from the bed.
For centuries, you had belonged to two of the most powerful males in Prythian—Rhysand, your High Lord, and Azriel, his Shadowsinger. You loved them both fiercely, in different ways. Azriel offered a tenderness, a deep, quiet devotion that settled your soul.
Rhysand... Rhysand offered the dark, rough edges you craved, the possession that bordered on degradation, the play that made you feel utterly owned.
Azriel was away on a mission, tracking some rumor in the human lands. The moment he'd winnowed out, a wicked gleam had entered Rhysand's violet eyes.
"Alone at last, my dirty little mate," he'd purred, already stalking toward you. Now, you were on all fours, but not elegantly. Rhysand had a fist tangled in your hair, keeping your face pressed into the mattress, your cheek turned just enough so your glazed, desperate eyes could meet his in the mirror.
He was taking you from behind, his hips slamming into yours with a brutal, rhythmic force that shook the bed.
That wasn't all.
A thick, knotted dildo was buried in your ass, stretching you deliciously, and in your own hand, a buzzing vibrator was pressed firmly against your clit.
You were stuffed, stimulated, and completely at his mercy. "Gods, you just love being a hole for me to fuck, don't you?" Rhysand growled, his voice a dark melody of pleasure and power.
He watched your expression in the glass, the way your mouth fell open on a silent scream. "Such a dirty mate for me. My perfect, greedy whore. Wish Az could see his sweet princess now. See what a desperate little slut you are for a good, hard fucking."
The mention of Azriel, your sweet, gentle Azriel, sent a strange, thrilling spike of heat through you—a mix of shame and wild arousal. Without thought, a pulse of that heat, that raw need, shot down the bond you shared with your Shadowsinger.
What you didn't know was that Azriel's mission had concluded early. He'd winnowed into the townhouse, the familiar silence greeting him, until a faint, muffled moan and a wave of unmistakable, carnal hunger from your bond stopped him cold. He was at the foot of the stairs one second, and outside the bedroom door the next, shadows swirling with chaotic tension.
He pushed the door open.
The scene that greeted him stole the breath from his lungs. There you were, presented like a feast, ass in the air, stuffed and used, Rhysand's powerful body moving over yours. Rhys's hand came down on your ass with a sharp crack, and you moaned, clenching visibly around the cock in your pussy and the toy in your ass.
Azriel's own cock hardened instantly, painfully, in his leathers.
Rhysand turned his head, a smirk playing on his lips. His violet eyes held no surprise, only dark amusement. "Are you just going to stand there, Shadowsinger," he panted, not missing a stroke, "or are you going to help me put our mate in her place?"
You managed to twist your head a little more, your eyes meeting Azriel's. They were wide, drunk with pleasure, and utterly unashamed. "Azzie..." you moaned, the name a slurred plea.
Then, slowly, deliberately, you stuck your tongue out at him, a lewd, clear invitation. Rhysand chuckled, the sound rich and wicked. He patted your reddened cheek. "Want his cock in your mouth, baby? Wanna prove that you're just a set of holes for us to use?"
You moaned and nodded frantically, your gaze locked on Azriel as he began to strip, his movements swift and predatory. You moaned again at the sight of his naked body, the hard lines of his muscles, and the impressive, thick length of his cock, already leaking.
He stalked over to the side of the bed. You leaned forward, your tongue tracing a long, wet line up his shaft before you took the head into your mouth with a hungry suck.
Azriel groaned, his head falling back. He watched as Rhysand delivered another stinging slap to your ass, and you shook it, begging for more.
"Gods," Azriel breathed, his voice rough with newfound understanding. "You are a whore, aren't you, little girl?"
You nodded around his cock, taking him deeper, gagging slightly before relaxing your throat. Azriel's hands, so often gentle, fisted in your hair, holding you steady as he began to fuck your mouth with soft, shallow thrusts.
Rhysand laughed, grinding deep into you. "She can take more, Singer. Don't be shy."
Azriel growled at the challenge, but it was Rhys who responded by fucking you harder, making you cry out and release Azriel's cock with a pop. You slapped Azriel's length against your tongue, looking up at him with watery eyes. "Can I come?" you begged, the words broken.
Azriel leaned over, delivering a sharp slap of his own to your other ass cheek. He looked at Rhys. "Our whore wants to come."
Rhysand laughed, a sound of pure dark joy. He slowly pulled out of your pussy, making you whimper. "I haven't let her come in what... two hours?" he mused, as if trying to remember.
You nodded desperately, pushing back against the dildo still in your ass, trying to chase any friction.
Then you turned your bleary gaze back to Azriel. "Kiss," you mumbled. His stern expression softened infinitesimally. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a deep, claiming kiss, one hand brushing sweat-damp hair from your face.
"Gods, I missed you," he whispered against your mouth, the admission stark and tender amidst the depravity.
You nodded into the kiss. "Want you in my ass," you breathed.
Both males gave you identical, stern no looks. You whined pitifully.
Rhysand rubbed your lower back. "Oh, baby," he cooed, the false sympathy dripping with malice. "Az is too big for your ass yet. You can barely take him in your pussy when he's gentle. We have to train you more."
You sighed, defeated. Rhysand rubbed a finger alongside the toy in your ass, before pushing it in more stretching you further. "I'll take this beautiful ass, baby. He can take your pussy."
You nodded, kissing Azriel once more before he moved. Azriel laid back on the bed, propped against the headboard, and patted his thigh. You crawled over to him, straddling his hips, and sank down onto his cock with a slow, trembling sigh. The stretch was immediate and immense. You leaned back against Rhysand's chest as he positioned himself behind you, your head resting on his shoulder.
"Oh, fuck," you breathed, eyes squeezed shut. "Give me a second."
Your mates chuckled darkly. Rhys turned your head and kissed you, deep and dominating, while Azriel's hands came up to play with your nipples, pinching and rolling them until you were squirming. Then you began to move, grinding down on Azriel's thick length.
The moans that left you were guttural. Azriel brought one hand up to your throat, not squeezing hard, just holding, a reminder of his control. Rhysand took that as his cue. He pushed you forward, onto Azriel's chest, giving himself the angle he needed. With a slow, relentless pressure, he began to push the dildo out and replace it with himself, sinking into your ass.
When he was fully seated, Rhysand groaned. "Fuck, I can feel him in your pussy, baby. Feel him through the wall. You're absolutely stuffed."
"I feel so full," you whimpered, the sensation of being completely occupied by both of them overwhelming.
They laughed at you, the sound affectionate and cruel, and began to move. They found a rhythm, Azriel thrusting up into your slick heat while Rhysand rocked into your tight clench, their movements creating a devastating counterpoint that made you see stars. Dirty words fell from their lips—whore, slut, our perfect little hole—accompanied by sharp slaps on your ass that kept you jolting, sensitive and on edge.
Then Azriel's shadows moved. The forgotten vibrator lifted from the sheets and pressed itself firmly against your throbbing clit.
You screamed, your body bowing between them.
Azriel kissed you, swallowing your cries. "Fuck, baby," he rasped. "You are just a hole, aren't you? Just a perfect, warm hole for us to fill."
"Just a dirty mate just for us," Rhysand grunted, his pace increasing. "You were made for us, baby. For this."
"Please," you sobbed, tears of overstimulation and bliss leaking from your eyes. "Please, can I come? I can't take it."
Azriel nodded, his own release nearing. He slapped your ass again. "Come, baby. Let us feel you."
The permission shattered you. Your orgasm ripped through you with a violence that left you blind and deaf, your inner walls clamping down on Azriel in rhythmic, pulsing waves that seemed to have no end. You were still trembling, still milking him a full minute later when Azriel gripped your chin.
"Fuck," he breathed, awe and dark desire in his eyes. "Such a dirty little mate. You're still coming."
You could only nod, and that sent him over the edge. With a guttural roar, he spilled into you, his own climax drawn out by your endless contractions. Rhysand, feeling both of you pulsing around him, pulled out of your ass and spent his release across your lower back and reddened cheeks with a satisfied groan.
The moment your back hits the mattress, you are already breathless, your skin flushed with the kind of heat that only they can stoke. Rhysand’s thighs frame your hips, his long fingers tracing lazy circles over your stomach before sliding up to tease your nipples into stiff peaks. A shiver runs through you as his touch turns possessive, kneading your breasts like he owns them—because he does. So does Azriel, who’s already between your legs, his dark hair brushing the inside of your thighs as his tongue drags through your folds with deliberate slowness. You whimper, your fingers tangling in his hair, but he just hums against you, the vibration making your toes curl.
“Fuck,” you gasp, arching into Rhys’ touch as Azriel’s finger presses against your ass, teasing the tight ring of muscle before slipping a finger inside. The stretch burns, but gods, it feels good—especially when his tongue flicks your clit in time with the slow pump of his finger. Your hips jerk, but Azriel’s free hand slams down on your stomach, pinning you to the bed as he growls, “Stay still, or I’ll make you.”
Rhys chuckles darkly, his breath hot against your ear as he leans down. “Listen to him, love. Let him fuck that pretty ass while I play with these perfect tits.” His thumbs roll over your nipples, pinching just hard enough to make you cry out, your back bowing off the bed. You’re so close already, the pressure coiling tight in your belly, your thighs trembling around Azriel’s shoulders. You can’t take it—you need—
You then yank Rhys down by his hair, crashing your lips together in a messy, desperate kiss. “Fuck, I wanna come again,” you mumble against his mouth, your voice raw with need.
Rhys pulls back just enough to smirk at you, his violet eyes gleaming with wicked amusement. “Again, baby? You just did.”
“I don’t care,” you pant, grinding your pussy against Azriel’s face. He groans, the sound vibrating through you and then his lips are on you, his taste—you—on his tongue as he kisses you deep and filthy. Your breath hitches when he pulls away only to capture Rhys’ mouth next, and fuck, watching them kiss is almost enough to send you over the edge. Their tongues tangle, slow and deliberate, like they’re savoring each other, and your pussy clenches around nothing, aching to be filled.
Azriel breaks the kiss first, his gaze locked on you as he sinks two fingers into your pussy, curling them just right. Your back arches, a broken moan tearing from your throat, and both of them laugh at you—dark, knowing chuckles that make your skin prickle.
Rhys’ mouth finds your ear, his voice a rough purr. “Such a greedy little whore for us, aren’t you? Look at you, dripping for Az’s fingers, begging for more.” His hand slides down your stomach, his fingers joining Azriel’s, stretching you obscenely. “You love taking our cocks, don’t you? Love when we fuck you together, fill you up until you can’t walk straight.” His teeth graze your earlobe. “I bet you’d love it if I took Az’s ass while he fucked you. Imagine that—both of us buried inside you, using you just how we want.”
A whimper escapes you, your nails digging into Rhys’ arms as Azriel’s fingers scissor inside you, his thumb pressing hard against your clit. “Please,” you beg, not even sure what you’re asking for anymore.
Rhys doesn’t make you wait. The vibrator buzzes to life between your legs, the sudden pressure against your clit making you jerk. “Oh, you’re so sensitive, aren’t you?” Rhys murmurs, pressing the toy harder against you. “Look at you, squirming like a little slut. You’d take anything we gave you, wouldn’t you?”
You can’t even answer. Your vision blurs as Azriel’s fingers pick up speed, the vibrator’s relentless hum pushing you closer, closer—
And then Rhys is leaning over you, his cock right there, thick and leaking, and you don’t think—you just act. Your hand wraps around his cock, guiding him to your mouth, and the groan he lets out when your lips seal around his tip is the most satisfying sound you’ve ever heard. His fingers tangle in your hair, not guiding, just holding, like he’s afraid you’ll stop.
Fat chance.
Azriel’s chuckle is dark as he watches you take Rhys deeper, your throat opening for him. “Fuck, you’re perfect,” he murmurs, his fingers never stopping their relentless pace inside you. Then his hand is on Rhys’ throat, squeezing just enough to make Rhys’ hips stutter. “Look at you, choking on her cock like the whore you are.”
Rhys’ laugh is breathless, his hips rolling shallowly as you hollow your cheeks. “Gods, Az, you’re more of a whore than our mate.”
Azriel smirks, leaning in to kiss Rhys again, slow and filthy, before pulling back to meet your gaze. His fingers twist inside you, hitting that spot that makes your thighs shake. “Gonna come for us, love?”
You moan around Rhys’ cock, the words muffled, but they don’t need to hear you to know. Your body tenses, your muscles locking as Azriel’s fingers drag out of you—only to be replaced by his tongue, flat and broad against my clit. The vibrator’s still buzzing, Rhys’ cock still in your mouth, and then—
Azriel’s fingers are back, but this time, they’re brushing your clit, fast and rough, and the orgasm hits me like a fucking freight train. Your back arches, a scream tearing from my throat as you come, your pussy clenching around nothing, as your thighs trembling. And then you squirted everywhere. Your two mates moan at this and immediately start rubbing their hands all around your body calming you down from your high.
When you finally calmed down, your mates began to raise from the bed and grab a wet cloth. Rhysand cleaned the sweat off your head as Azriel cleaned your thighs and kissed them when you hissed.
They held you there, a spent, trembling mess between them, until the last aftershocks faded. Then, with a gentleness that belied the scene, they cleaned you with soft cloths and tucked you into the center of their bed, curling around you—Rhysand at your back, Azriel at your front.
"Welcome home, Az," Rhys murmured, his voice sleepy.
Azriel pressed a kiss to your forehead, his arms tight around you. "Next time," he whispered, only for you to hear, "send the heat down the bond a little sooner."
And for the first time in weeks, you fell asleep truly, completely filled—in body, and in heart.