Remembering Leelah

Don't forget her. December 28th, 2014.

[remembering-lazerprincess]

Happy nineteenth birthday, Leelah. Can’t believe it’s been this long.

You’re part of our history now.  I remember -- itself well over a year ago now -- when Jenner (everyone’s least favourite media representative) came out and just before she announced her new name she had a TV biopic made, and you, the picture of you I put on the Wikipedia article, the story Emrys and I brought to public attention, were prominently featured. I think that was when I realized just what I’d gotten done.

I’m finally on T now, and moving into full stealth (a state I’ve moved in and out of over the past few years). I can’t say this blog didn’t contribute to that decision. The trans community is not a place amenable to my emotional stability or to the image I want to project. But I’m glad from the depths of my heart I was out at just the right time to find you.

I have friends who came out well after you died. You are our history. You are all of us, in some way.

I told my brother --  a teenager in his own right now -- about this a couple weeks ago. He’s proud of what I did. I’m proud of him for that.

Happy nineteenth birthday. I hope you can embrace it where you are. I hope you’re proud of us.

If there’s one thing I hope, it’s that we never forget you.

[ashbabv]

This is a very selfish thing to do and I’m sure it’ll get like 0 attention, but I need help. 

 October 04th 2015, is was diagnosed with a very deadly high grade stage 4 appendix cancer. Studies show that even with treatment I have about 3% chance of beating this. for the most part chemo is doing a very good job shrinking the tumors, but the chemo will never be enough and eventually my body will build up a tolerance to it. In attempt to prolong my life for as long as possible, the surgeons want to open me up and try to remove everything that way. Unfortunately it’s a pretty spendy procedure, and my dad won’t put me on his insurance because he doesn’t want want anything to do with our family anymore, and my mom hasn’t been able to find a decent paying job for months and months, no matter how hard she tries. The hospital won’t do the surgery unless we have some sort of proof that we can pay the bills afterwards. If we don’t get the money, and I don’t get the surgery I have 2-3 months left to live. If you have any extra money it would mean the absolute world to me if you could donate to my gofundme.

If you can’t donate then please please please reblog so that theres at least a chance this post might be able to reach someone who can.

Most of the time I wouldn’t post anything involving me asking for money, but when I’m this close to death I’m becoming a bit more desperate. If you do donate thank you and know that I truly do appreciate it more than anything. 

You can donate here if you decide to

[remembering-lazerprincess]

Adrian (OP) is a trans guy my age with a disrespectful family and possibly terminal cancer. He deserves the chance to beat it and carve out his own future.

-Max

[remembering-lazerprincess]

It's been a year. Could you please post something? I know it's hard, but I haven't forgotten her. I don't want to forget her. I feel like this page is all that's left.

We’re still here, there’s just so little to say now. We miss her. It’s been a long time, and we haven’t forgotten, but at least it’s getting easier to accept that such an innocent soul was taken from us.I’m sorry that this blog isn’t so active anymore, but she still lives on in our hearts.- Emrys

[remembering-lazerprincess]

I miss Leelah. Even though I didn’t know her until after her death, mourning brought life to her. It hurts that nobody talks about her anymore, like a leaf on the wind.

I wish I could do more. I wish I had done more. I still wonder what Carla and Doug are thinking. Do they care? Do they know they were wrong? ... are Leelah’s siblings okay? Most of all, it’s tough just knowing that I was the one that found her suicide note, with less than five notes, searched up her name, and got busy telling everyone I could find, and yet nodody knows I exist. What hurts the most was that I was looking up suicide notes that night because I was wondering how I’d write mine, and nobody asked if I was okay. I wasn’t okay that night, and neither was Leelah. But she’s okay now. And I’m not. It’s sad. I hope she still lives on inside of us. -Emrys

[remembering-lazerprincess]

Transgender Military Advocate Jess Shipps Dies by Suicide

The 32-year-old Air Force veteran is remembered for helping others through work with SPARTA and through YouTube videos.

[remembering-lazerprincess]

i'm so close to suicide but if i go to the hospital my parents will be very mad at me. and don't tell me they won't, because they have punished me before when i have went to the hospital and accused me of ruining the family. i'm nonbinary but no one respects that.

How old are you? Your parents don’t need to be told why you’re there. Can you make up a story about being worried about some sort of pain? Chest pain can be urgent, maybe while they are out, you can go, and you could say you thought you were having a heart attack but it was severe indigestion. Geez, I don’t know.Otherwise, can you call Lifeline? I don’t know where you are from but the US and Australia both have different suicide hotlines called lifeline. They can help. Otherwise, chat to a friend. Tell them how you feel, make sure you have someone to check on you. Please stay with us.I would also encourage for you to try and get away from them depending on your age. I moved out at 16 due to abuse.-Emrys

[remembering-lazerprincess]

103 points and 17 comments so far on reddit

[tetraghost]

discussions of #suicide, #transmisogyny (note that the bottom of the full article contains screenshots of the harassment)

Online trolls urged trans game developer Rachel Bryk to jump off a bridge. She did.

Gaming communities across the Internet are mourning the death of prominent transgender game developer Rachel Bryk, who committed suicide on April 23, after suffering from a lifetime of health problems and months of anonymous cyberbullying. Bryk, 23, was plagued by chronic pain, as well as low self-esteem, long before she joined any online communities, but it was an anonymous harasser who urged her to jump off a bridge—just days before she took her own life by jumping from the George Washington Bridge in New York City.

Read more

Read the commemoration from the Dolphin development team

when does it stop

[leviathan-supersystem]

And it is important to remember that her death is not merely an isolated incident- the harassment she received was part of a deliberate plan called Operation Trans Genocide, which was concocted in the inner reaches of the far-right fascist /pol/ board on both 4chan and 8chan. 

We are living, right now, in a time of genocide. And I have NO sympathy for anyone who tries to remain “neutral” instead of doing everything they are able to combat the wave of fascist violence which claims more lives each day.

[blackwoolncrown]

Neutrality only helps the aggressor.

[remembering-lazerprincess]

This is really sad. Rachel was a young, smart transgender female that had so much talent (in the IT industry) she may not have been a teenager who was drawn to suicide from her parents, but in a way, this is much more dangerous... Because these guys will target anyone, not just ‘their own kids’. Disgusting... and yet the same type of people I deal with on a weekly basis. -Emrys

[transhousingnetwork]

Need couch in Seattle [Washington]

Good afternoon, my name is Ashley, I’m 34. I’m trans woman without surgery [to dress and live as a girl, I started a few months ago after his arrival in the United States from Russia]. I’m looking for a place [here in Seattle] where I can have the couch for a few weeks until I find a job. Now I live in a hostel, but it is very expensive for me and every day counts. I’m clean, I do not smoke, do not drink. Ideally, I need a little room, instead I could help around the house or garden, or pay rent no more than $ 300 a month. If anyone can help me I would be very grateful. All the best. 

Text: [phone]

[email protected] Ashley

[benjiscloset]

If you need quick advice from the transgender and LGB+ community, we opened a forum so that you can get answers!

[benjiscloset]

We really ask that you all signal boost this post. Because of Tumblr’s updates, plus the fact that xkit hasn’t been updated (and may become entirely incompatible altogether) it’s become harder and harder for us to answer asks. You can post on the forum without registering if you’re concerned about anonymity. We have the same mods as the Tumblr blog, plus a community of people more than happy to provide support and answer questions when our knowledge may be lacking. We’re also looking to build a community on the blog, with rewards for posting and particularly for welcoming new members and answering questions. We’re trying to build a LGBT+ positive community, with safe spaces. We’re also accepting moderator applications, too.

[lolaplusg]

Hugs <3

Hey everyone! Day to day we see a fair amount of messages from people who are either hurting emotionally or are wanting to help loved ones who are hurting. It can be saddening because no one should have to feel that way and often emotional pain is not treated with the seriousness that more visible, physical injuries are. I wanted to share a link that has helped me in the past. It is for a website that can help you find a local therapist based on what you are going through specifically. Many of these therapists offer lower rates (called a “sliding scale”) for those of you without insurance. Here is the link: https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

Not to sound too cheesy or like a PSA but it can be easy to forget that depression and anxiety *lie* to you and that there really are people who care. Sometimes a little reminder is in order, yaknow? In any case, wishing everyone a nice start of the week and sending pink, fuzzy hugs in your direction.

Lots of LOVE, Lola & G

[fairysharkmother]

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!!!

M.O.D. has found himself unemployed, and he’ll probably be living on his own soon.

He needs a bit more money in order to… well, eat and live, so he’s decided to open up commissions again!

Physical drawings are made using pencil and marker.

PRICES (CAD): Digital Cutout: 15$ Chibi Lineart (Digital or Physical): 5$ Chibi Coloured (Digital or Physical): 10$ Detail Lineart (Digital or Physical): 20$ Detail coloured (Digital or Physical): 25$

If you’d like to ask about a commission, please go to GhostyFelix. He’ll also make gifs if asked.

If you would like to help out with a donation, there’s a donate button on the fairysharkmother homepage! Reblogs and signal boosts are also greatly appreciated.

[remembering-lazerprincess]

Felix (M.O.D.) is a transmale who I’ve seen struggling for a while. As I understand it, he’s been supporting his family for a long time and recently he had to quit his job because he was being severely underpaid. Soon, he believes he’ll be moving out, but he hasn’t been able to find a new job yet. To add insult to injury, his family was recently in a minor car accident. I’d really like to see things start to look up for Felix, so if you have the funds, please do commission him!

-Emrys

[remembering-lazerprincess]

I'm so sorry if I sent the same fan mail over and over again. I'm on tumblr mobile and it sucks. -Val

You didn’t.

Hello! My name is Val and I want to ask you something. I have to send you fan mail becuae my ask is too long.In my art class, my art teacher entered everyone into a National Congretional Art Contest. And the theme is “A Key Opens..” We have to make art about our inspriation in life and a moment that was a key in our lives. And with all the tragic events this recent year with poilce burtality and Leelah’s passing. I decided to base my art on the ones we lost this year: Mike Brown, Deah Shaddy Barakat, Yusor Mohammad Abu-Salha, Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha, Leelah Alcorn, and Jesse Hernandez. My theme will be “A Key Opens to Hope.” With the movement for those who were innocent (like I mentioned above) they gave us hope for a better equality fututre..And my question is. Will it be alright for me to draw leelah in my art work? And if so, what hair style does she prefer. I want to draw her how she always wanted to be. I know she wanted long hair..but I’m asking because I want her to be on point..Im really sorry if this was long and if I dragged everything out but I wanted you to understand. If you want, I can post the art works on my tumblr. I just wanted you to know that Leelah, is my inspiration. She is the key that opened hope to everyone. May she rest in power and I’m so happy for her victory. Thank you so much for listening.

I’m proud of you for picking such a strong topic.If it’s respectful I can’t see why you couldn’t draw Leelah for it.This is the reference of the hairstyle she said she wanted, I believe it was posted from her reddit account.We’d love to see and share it when you’re finished - just give us a reminder.

-Emrys

[sealopsco-deactivated20150518]

I need your help, Tumblr

Send me EVERYTHING you can about Leelah Alcorn. I’m going to write a song about her, and it’s going on my first album, Yonic Aberration. 

[remembering-lazerprincess]

We have a lot about her here :) A lot of people have been inspired to write about her story, including myself.

-Max

[remembering-lazerprincess]

Ughhh this is stupid barely on topic ranting but.

I’m finally after 3 years catching a damn break on South Australia’s hellish transition process. I can probably get top surgery at some point in the near future and maybe even start T. (Yes, top surgery would be easier than T. This system is honestly hilarious in its brokenness.)

So I went to go talk about that on my personal. Embrace the fact that ONE aspect of this mess isn’t making me suicidal for once. I promptly got some guy going “Oh, I bet you don’t live in the US!”.

Yeah, actually, I don’t. If I did and was born in the places my parents would want to settle down in I’d probably be better off because there’s no intense nationwide regulation there and so trans teens can transition earlier and easier if their parents and medical teams are accepting (all the people I know who started hormones or got surgery at like 14 are from more liberal regions of America, and I know multiple peole who fit that description), but regardless. I told him that, and mentioned how it meant I was working within a heavily conservative and gatekept system.

“Well, try not having that privilege at all, but congratulations on your transition process. Wish I could say the same for myself.”

WELL, HOW ABOUT YOU MOVE TO ADELAIDE IF YOU LIKE THE SOUND OF IT SO MUCH, AND YOU CAN DEAL WITH THE FUCKED UP, GATEKEEPING, COMPLETELY AWFUL PEOPLE WHO ARE LEGALLY MANDATED TO RUN THE SYSTEM HERE, AND YOU CAN SPEND $20,000 YOU DON’T HAVE AND TRY TO RECRUIT LEGAL SUPPORT FROM ANOTHER STATE SO YOU CAN HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE OF GETTING THE T YOU NEED, AND YOU CAN SPEND YEARS LOST IN A BROKEN SYSTEM UNSURE WHETHER YOU CAN LIVE ANOTHER FUCKING DAY TO MAKE IT OUT THE OTHER SIDE. I THINK YOU’D LIKE THAT.

-Max

[remembering-lazerprincess]

i just wanna tell you that im using your blog as a source for my research paper about the lack of transgender acceptance, because it is so insightful, and im also using leelah's blog, im a cisgender senior in high school and my best friend and i decided to do the topic as our paper and your blog has been a huge help, and i just wanted to tell you that. thank you so much!

Hey, I’m really glad we’ve helped you! Don’t forget though to cite original authors of posts. We are a good source to find loads of reblogs, but not every post is ours and we don’t entirely deserve the credit. Same with Leelah’s reblogs, but it could be said that her choice of reblogs hinted at her mental state.-Emrys

[johnnnybedrew]

To Transmales that use Strohecker’s Pharmacy:

Check your prescription. They are RECALLING Testosterone Cypionate suspended in Sesame Oil. Lot #T-1201S14. Dispensed during the end of December, to early January. According to the pharmacy, it did have the correct amount of Testosterone but it also contained small trace of Estradiol.  Reblog and pass it along.