thoughts of an insomniac

that which keeps me up at night.

[reminisceandremember]

Perhaps all that needed fixing, was never broken from the start

Wounds heal, and so will you

[reminisceandremember]

Stars

Aligning not only the skies,

her veins flooded with stars.

Others began to realize that from the inside out,

she lit up.

Not just for herself, but for the ones

who couldn’t find the light.

Led others through the darkest of times,

and lent others her shine.

[reminisceandremember]

I just want to be the best version of myself, and be with someone that makes me that.

[reminisceandremember]

I don’t know how to tell you

It’s not easy being your friend

to love you so much that it hurts

to know you don’t feel the same

to be there every step of the way but know there’s not a future

sometimes I wish you hated me

that we were never friends

but then I think of all the smiles and the laughs and the memories that we share

and I know as much as it hurts

at least you’re still my friend

j.l. // I don’t want to be your friend anymore

[reminisceandremember]

You were lonely

And I was broken

And it seemed our pieces fit well enough together

I didn’t know

When you pulled away

You’d take my heart with you

I was just a distraction

While you were my fix

I fell in love as you said goodbye

You broke my heart to feel something // j.l.

[reminisceandremember]

I knew I was truly and wholly fucked

When I fell in love with you

It was when I realized

Nothing you did

Could ever be bad

When every little thing you did

Brought me joy

Made me smile

When you could never do wrong in my eyes

Even when you broke my heart

Even when you made me cry

I forgave you

Because I somehow understood

I somehow rationalized

Every which way you made me feel

I didn’t know I was broken until you left

And took all my pieces with you

[reminisceandremember]

They said I loved too hard

I scared people away

But I know what it feels like to not feel loved

And how could I ever want anyone to feel that way

So I pour my love into you

And give and give and give

Expecting nothing in return

And becoming emptier every day

j.l. // I never want to hurt you, But oh god, it’s hurting me

[reminisceandremember]

They tell you to marry your best friend

What they never talk about

Is when you fall in love with your best friend

When they don’t love you

Or they do

Just not in the way you do

They don’t say how it breaks your heart

To make them smile

To make them laugh

But know it doesn’t mean the same

For they mean the world

And you’d give them anything

Because they’re not just your love

They’re your best friend

And they care for you

They love you

Just not in the same way

[reminisceandremember]

“I started smoking this year I know I promised you I’d never do that But maybe the tar coating my lungs can explain this weight I feel in my chest It’s hard to breathe And its easy to blame it on the cigarettes But I know its because the memories of you have me constantly choking back tears I cough a lot these days People keep asking me if I’m ill They tell me I should quit I don’t know how to tell them that Its the thought of you with someone else that makes me sick I started smoking this year Because I did the calculations And nothing can hurt me more Than you already did”

— j.l. //Nicotine and Heartbreak 

[reminisceandremember]

I’m sorry for the way I treated you

For the brokenness I asked you to fix

I tore myself up and shattered your heart

I tested the extents of your patience

Cause god

No one had ever loved me like you did

And I never thought I deserved it

So I pushed you away to see how hard you’d push back

I didn’t mean to make you leave

I didn’t mean to break your heart

I’m sorry I couldn’t love myself the way you did

And I couldn’t love you the way I should have

I’m sorry I broke us // j.l

[reminisceandremember]

It’s almost been a year

And I’m still head over heels

But your heart still belongs to another

She broke your heart

While I gave you everything

And you said you loved me

Just not enough

[reminisceandremember]

I just want to know why I wasn’t enough

I gave you everything

[reminisceandremember]

I told you I was okay letting you go because I just wanted you to be happy. But when I see you smiling with her, I realize I am far from being okay.

I wanted to be the one to make you happy

[hplyrikz]

““Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.””

— Friedrich Nietzsche (via hplyrikz)

[too-witches-to-come-sorry-deact]

Someone once said to me, “I hope the pain eases soon.” It struck me as the purest blessing that had ever been offered over my head - I hope the pain eases soon. It’s so gentle, so kind, so hopeful. So to everyone who’s hurting: I see how hard you’re trying, and I hope your pain will ease soon.

[becherdireinen]

I will not wait for you

to regret losing me.

Does the sun wait for

the earth to regret turning?

Does the moon wait for

the night to regret ending?

The sun remains the sun,

and the moon remains the moon.

I will remain myself

with or without

your acknowledge of my value.

[delicatepoetry]

“I poured myself into you even though I was half empty. I gave, and gave. I ripped out my soul and tied it around your wrist, hoping you’d wear my heart on your sleeve. Hoping that you’d feel something. I handed you every piece of me, tried to fit my broken pieces into the cracks of your heart. I tried to put you together, tried to fix and heal your soul. I followed your footsteps on my knees, kissing the shadows you left behind. I wiped every tear, offered my body as a pillow, as a release. I held you together while my wrists burned red, held you together despite the chaos inside my head. I gave, and gave. My heart was yours from the very first day, my thoughts all wrapped around you, my dreams danced with you. You could’ve told me to jump and I’d find the highest bridge, could’ve told me to write and I’d give you a novel, could’ve told me to die and my body would become ash thrown into the sea. I gave, and gave, but it was never enough. I gave until you left, and I’d still give you my last breath.”

— Isabel Cabrera / / take it, it’s yours.