tiTLe

deScrIpTiOn

[echoesofsaturn]

"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past

[belmasworld]

i used to think being patient proved my love, now i realize i was teaching people i'd stay no matter how little they gave me

[remotely-radical]

delusional

constantly replaying everything in my head, because maybe i just over romanticized everything, felt it was more because i wanted it to be, but maybe it was all in my head

but the way she would look at me, i thought she was feeling it to

the way she would kiss me with such intensity not being able to stop and the way we would look into each other's eyes

the way she would always have her hands on me whenever possible

the way she let me hold her closely and fall asleep in my arms so peacefully

the way she would talk about future plans with me and wanting to do all these things with me

the way she would call me pretty, cute, hot, in person and over messaging regularly

the way she would save my snaps in chat because she thought i looked good

the way she would tell me she misses me even tho we just said goodbye

the way she would just randomly call me just to talk

the way she held my hand without hesitation when we went in public

or how about the way she straight up told me she likes me??? saying how "we weren't meant to like each other this much and did her cute little laugh"

the way we would make out for hours, so intensely, and telling me how addicting kissing me is, fuck i miss kissing her so badly

the way she would even kiss my forehead if i cuddled into her, and the way i kiss hers when she did the same to me

the way we would cuddle in general, just so close and embraced not wanting to let go, holding each other's faces and telling me she wishes she could stay like this forever

the way we holding her hand felt

or even the way she would tell me how beautiful my eyes were and how much she loves them

how much she loves my laugh, how much she loves my smile

i really loved the way she would take photos of me at random just because she wanted a photo of me because i apparently looked good, ESPECIALLY the time she told me to stay laying the way i was because she wanted to get her fucking polaroid camera and have a polaroid of me and polaroids of us together

but yeah, it was just all in my head, i just over romanticized it all, it was never anything, just meaningless fling for the plot, very casual and no attachments

i was nothing but another number to her

she made it so obvious that she wasn't into me romantically, there was not a single sign that could of indicated she liked me more than just a casual fuck

it was all in my head

[dvnyaaa]

i wanna be free from wanting to be loved

[remotely-radical]

damn, im so depressed that playing basketball with an aggresive team didnt even make me angry and mouth off or start getting aggresive

she straight up elbowed me in the throat and i was like, yeah cool, my throat is sore and i cant breathe, im not happy about it but i dont hvae the energy to even be angry and lash out at her

she also headbutted my jaw before that too

was such a weird feeling, bc i enjoyed playing tho, but.. no anger??? i actually felt i was going to get into a tiff tonight because i was really angry befroe the game, and this team is always dirty and plays rough and dangourous

last time we versed them a few weeks ago and DAMN i was a BITCHHHH, i was fighting back, mouthing off, talking mad shit, i was HYPED and had so much adrenaline and gave me hella energy. I'm such a mouthy player when teams are arseholes, nice teams im so nice and pleasent hahaha

but yeah, nope, i just didnt care, i think im just numb now and dont really have much energy for it, well sort of, bc i cried all the way home listening to a sad song that hits my feels

honestly felt really good belting the song out crying hard

i feel more over it now, i still cant beleive how pathetic im being too hahah

funny bc i litterally imagine a scenario where she finds out how i feel, and how ive been crying so much over her, and how cringey she would see me because she would just be like "umm what the fuck it wasnt that deep ever and meant nothing" fucking weirdo obessed bitch and she would be glad she discarded me bc im such a loser lol

[your-fav-bratt]

Safe sex isn’t about wearing a condom. It’s about being careful who you mix your soul with.

[blingedoubimbi]

[nehanshiee]

Shakespeare can never!

[dafancyuhinspiration]

[polkabunni]

I am both self aware and delusional

[crybabyals]

I’d love to stop yearning for things I know aren’t in the cards for me

[konoko]

born to love, but not to be loved

[angel-elputo]

[soup-mother]

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

[ceruleanheaven]

i just wanna do nothinggggg 😭😭😭😭😭 which is like what im already doing but i wanna do it in a way that doesnt actively ruin my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[remotely-radical]

girls are so pretty

i wish i was one of them

[remotely-radical]

shes not "just really busy" she just doesnt like u

[remotely-radical]

maybe she found my blog and was like "yeah fuck that absolute mess bye"