How much do you think it fucked Ilya's brain to be the only human being who gets to witness Shane *standing man emoji* Hollander show up to every hook up walking awkwardly and standing in a manner that makes his huge athletic body look 2 apples tall and not knowing what to do with his hands and the spongebob brain fire meme is happening inside his head trying to start a conversation and looking around nervously up until the second Ilya's lips touch his and this bitch turns into a full fucking sex machine tank full of horny fuel rubbing himself on Ilya's dick like he's trying to light a match on a brick wall climbing him like a spider monkey scratching his back and peeling off enough skin to put him behind bars for attempted murder dropping to his knees nuzzling his face on Ilya's crotch and swallowing his dick like it's the only meal he can eat call that a macrobiodick diet and he's ripping Ilya's clothes off and bending over the first piece of furniture in sight and as soon as he's done getting his ass ate he's throwing Ilya on the bed and riding him like a cowboy from the Academy Award winning cowboy movie of his namesake (I just found out about Shane 1953 like 2 seconds ago) and reducing Ilya to a babbling pathetic Russian mess begging to come.
And as soon as they're done, Shane walks out of the bathroom like he just fell from an alien ship and has no idea what planet he's on. He's standing in the doorway fiddling with his hands and waiting for a signal to bolt out of the room like his ass is on fire.
