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@rescuemerescueyou
I Don’t Want to be That Person.
I’m lazy, self medicated, an alcoholic. My name? You don’t need that. My story? Well, I’m a 21 year old jobless alcoholic bitch, who doesn’t give a shit about what anyone says or anybodies feelings. As long as I get what I want, Right? No, This is NOT the person I want to be. Its not the person I ever imagined being, EVER! But its the person I became. How, you ask. I’m a spoiled little brat. My husband spoils me so much. I have it made with him. This isn’t at all how i expected life to be. I wanted to work hard to get what I want, not have everything handed to me. But I haven’t worked in years. This isn’t me, at all. I’ve never been this way before. I and only I can change that. And that is just what I’m going to do! or at least try..
-S.Maroscher2016
Lets be Happy.
Whatever it takes, Lets just be happy. I think I have figured it out. Than again, I say that more often than I should. But today, I am happy. Not depressed, nor sad. I’m happy. Happiness; Is a great thing. It helps you through the hard parts. Last night I cried like a baby for at lease an hour. I think that was all I needed to make me feel this way. I haven’t felt this relieved in a very long time. Now, its like giant weigh is off my shoulders. It feels amazing. Figure out what makes YOU happy and do it. You never know what it could do for you. Give it a try. Happiness is a great thing.
-Smaroscher2016
Because, I use to be...
when I first started writing, I was drinking, an doing drugs, And I was happy. I had friends. I still have my friends, And with them I am happy. I don’t write much anymore, Because nothing comes to mind, Nothing.. So Maybe I am happy, But maybe I need more in life. Because in order to get my dreams on the road, I need to be happy to write. Time to go back to the old me, That was happy, That had something to write about everyday. I just want to be a great person and inspire people. And I know just how to do it...
-Smaroscher2016Â
Because, I haven’t posted in a While...
Lets catch up. The last time I posted, It was about how you can’t change as much as you would like. As of now, the things I’ve been going through haven’t been completely awful. For example: As many of you already I have a god son or daughter on the way. The sad news, My best friend (the mother of the child) has had a few (more than we would like) complications with this pregnancy. We are looking into everything and doing everything we can to help/prevent any future complications. On another note, (A good one might I add.) This morning I seen a post on one of those Facebook sale sites asking for someone to make a disk for a lady whose brother had passed away about 3 years ago. As the kind person I’d like to think I am, I offered to help and agreed to make it for her. As his 3 year anniversary of his death is coming up, I know it is a sad and hard time for the family. I think I had made me her when I offered to help, But I enjoy doing these things for people, and making movies and other stuff is a hobby of mine, So its a win, win.Â
-Smaroscher2016 Â
Because, You Can’t Change Everything!
You ever wonder, what your purpose is in this world? Ever wonder if you make a difference in someone life? Just by being there? Or is there something absolutely significant you are doing? I feel as I, myself have helped no one. Not even myself. I’ve changed (I’m not a depressed person anymore) I guess that is helping myself, But I have no job, I don’t go to school and I have yet to figure out what I am doing with my life. Almost everyone around seems to know what they want. I know one thing, I want to help people, but I don’t know where to begin. In order to help other people I have to be able to help myself first, right ? I mean the least I can do is figure out what I want to do in this life, how I want to portray myself. I know I can’t change everything, And defiantly not all at once, But I can change somethings and work my way forward to greater things. I want to write a book and take pictures of beautiful things. But, Just because I think it is beautiful doesn’t mean anyone else will. That’s a story for another time though. So for now, I will leave with this; I, May not be able to change the world, But I can try, And as long as I change one thing, I know it will make a difference !Â
-SMaroscher2016 Â Â
Stand Up For Yourself!!
So as you all know, I am back in Ohio, and when I got back I needed a job ASAP, and I found one. I put in my application and the next day they called me in for an interview, I went and ended up getting the job. At first I liked it, everyone seemed nice and like they did their part at work. Boy, was I so wrong. I first couple days went smooth, than I had to take a day off because my mother was going in for surgery for cancer. So they let me have the day off. Two weeks later, sadly my uncle had passed away. Clearly I was upset and very much needed to go to the funeral. Thats when everything shifted. Me and my “boss” had a long heated discussion and I’m almost positive if it would have been her family it would be fine, and she wouldn’t come into work. She wasn’t going to let me have it off. Eventually after the heated discussion, she let me take it off. Since than, she has been more evil than anyone should be to an employee. Since she didn’t feel like cleaning her rooms, she gave them to me, so while everyone else had 6-7 rooms, in one day I had 20, And I’m not even exaggerating. The next day, she again didn’t feel like doing her job, so that day I had 10 rooms to myself. That same day, I messed up one bed, so she freaked out and unmade all my beds and made me redo them. I came in the next day, And she told me I didn’t change the sheets in a few of my rooms, Which I had and I knew it, so I told her that I did, and we argued. So I just changed them anyways. At this point I had so badly wanted to quit, but I did not have the balls too. Today, was the last of it. I called in sick this morning, as I was puking my guts out, and I needed the day off, unless they wanted me getting sick in all the rooms. She told me that if I called off I wouldn’t get another day off for a few weeks, I can’t do that, I have to much going on and I need my one day a week off. I called off anyhow, and she said I needed a doctors note, which usually would be understandable, except this one girl who had started only a week before me, had taken an entire two weeks off without a doctors note because she was sick. So today, I finally stood up for myself and quit. As I am proud of myself, my husband is proud too, just not as proud seeing as we do need the money. I will find another job, but this I will not have. I have never been treated so poorly by a company that so badly needed people to work that they would drive them to quit. Its not right.Â
-Smaroscher2016
Its All Good (News)
So I’m hardly on here, I just don’t have the time to post like I want to. But Let me tell you some great news I got yesterday. As of two days ago, my mother is cancer free !! <3 Its one one thing that made this week the greatest ever ! Also I got a call a few days ago saying, I’m gonna be a god mother again ! My best friend is pregnant again guys ! Its been one year since we lost little baby Kat, and Now she is going to be a big sister! You’re soul lives on Kat, and We all love you babygirl. You’d make one great big sister. So that the highlight of my week, whats yours?Â
-Smaroscher2016
Never Thought It Would Be This Hard!!
So, recently we found out my mother has cancer, Beast cancer. And I honestly thought it was just another thing that happened in life. I never thought it would be this hard to deal with. I’ve been watching a few shows (one tree hill & The fosters). And because of it, I just sit there and think. Like, How bad can it be? How does it end? and, How can I make it better. Than I realize, I can’t make it better, It won’t end, And Its very bad. My mom, the one who raised me, who made my life worth, She has cancer. I’d like to think the more I say it, the more real it becomes, but its already real. For her it is beyond real. She has to deal with it everyday of her life, and I have no idea what that feels like, and no idea how she feels about it. She is so good at hiding her feelings I don’t think I or anyone else will every know how she feels and what she is going through. My mother is the strongest person I know, And she has been through a lot, More than I can explain, And this is tough, but I know she will push the fight and try like hell to make sure it is okay, and that one day she will be okay. I Love You Mommy.
-Smaroscher2016
Work Hard, Play Harder.
I’m the person that works 3 jobs, 7 days a week. I get Tuesday off from my “real” job. And even then I’m at home working on my photography career or doing paperwork for the hospital. Sometimes its too much. I just want to give up. I work myself to the bone. Than I remember the harder I work the more money I have to spend on myself, and the closer I am to my career. 3 jobs is enough to put anyone down under, but when you have the dreams and motivation like I do, anything is possible.Â
-Smaroscher2016Â
What Hurts The Most...
So, A few years ago my best friend started dating one of my ex boyfriends. Don’t get me wrong, it has never really bothered me. They have been together for going on 3 years now (I think). They’ve had a baby together, But sadly the baby passed away. Two days ago was their little girl’s birthday, It was a hard day for all of us. On that day, My best friend was at work and her boyfriend was home by himself. He started talking to another girl that day, ON HIS DAUGHTER’S BIRTHDAY, (she would have been 1). But he started talking to this other girl, and last night my friend found out she was broken. She doesn't understand how he could do that on this day of all days. To be honest, I think I get it, He was completely alone on this day, no one but him, lost in his thought about how everything could be so different right now if everything would have gone as planned. He wanted someone there for him, someone to talk to, to try and ease the pain. I mean its still not right, but I (for the most part) understand why he did it. She would kill me if she ever knew I said this, but that was a day she should have taken off work and spent time with him, and bring their family closer. Its not her fault one bit, But being alone on such a hard day, makes you want to do stuff you don’t mean. And it hurts, not just you or her, but when she calls me crying, it hurts me, knowing something happened to my best friend. And I don’t like it one bit.Â
-Smaorscher2016
When Thing Don’t Go Your Way!
For the past week, I’ve been asking my husband for help around the house, do some laundry, clean the litter box, clean up his “Work” area. I always get the same response, “We can do it later, I’m “playing” with my brother and his friends. You’d think since every time I clean his shit is “misplaced” he’d help out every once in a while. But nope. So Today, I’ve decided, I’m done. I shouldn’t have to do it all by myself. So for now on, if he wants clean clothes, hes doing laundry, if he wants the litter box to not stick, its his job. I’m so fed up with this shit.Â
-Smaroscher2016Â
How You’ve Met
Have you ever wondered how you met someone. Like someone you’ve known since you can remember. I thought about it a lot the other day. I guess, I just don’t understand. Were you a tiny baby and you have known them since then? Were you 3years old? I don’t recall how I’ve met a lot of people, all I know is that I know them. I always wonder how.Â
-Smaroscher2016
Shoot Yesterday. Favorite <3
Love Yourself
There are enough things I am afraid of, But being myself isn’t one of them anymore. I use to be so afraid to be myself, wear what I like, express my passion for photography and art. I always thought everyone would make fun of me for being me. I took me a long time, but now and for the last 3 years I haven’t been afraid And I will never be again. Being yourself and having friends who enjoy the real you is the best part of life. Don’t be afraid to express yourself. And don’t pretend to be someone you are not because everyone else may like that person but it doesn’t matter what anyone but you thinks. So as long as you are someone YOU like, Keep being that person! You’re doing it right!!
-Smaroscher2016
Why You Gotta Be So Rude.
Today, At work was pretty much like any other day. Except I had a lot more to do then previously anticipated. When I got into work I found out I had 15 rooms. So like always I start cleaning them. I get about half way done with my rooms, and my boss tells me I have to leave because I’m guessing they didn’t want me to put to many hours in? I seriously get about 4 hour a day. At $8.10 an hour, it isn’t a lot. But I deal with it. The entire reason I am telling you this story is because when they made me leave today, I didn’t have a ride home because my husband got called into work early. I asked a few of my co-workers for a ride home. The first just completely ignored me and didn’t speak to me the entire time after that. The second, well, She lied saying she didn’t have a car or else she would take me. The bad part, I seen her pull up in her call. Moral of the story, People are rude and you can’t count on anybody but yourself.Â
-Smaroscher2016 Â Â
What Can We Do
You ever meet that one person who you just can’t stand in anyway possible? I have. He reminds me of a friend I use to have, who I thought was just as annoying back than. But this, this seems worse. I can’t even stand to be in the same room as this kid, and not to mention he acts like hes better than everyone. Its not something I want to put myself around, but at this moment its not my home or place to kick him out. I wish so bad though. Tonight we ordered pizza and he just started taking some and by the time he stopped the pizza was all gone. This is exactly the kind of person I absolutely can not stand.
-Smaroscher2016