Personal

This is pouretrebelle: web designer, magician, intellectual, dork, techie, and sex god I study jewellery and couldn't live without the following companies:sony, adobe, google, nixon, amazon

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🎶 never try and make something happen with somebody who isn’t 100% gung-ho about making something happen 🎶

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forgot how freeaking awesome my ‘main’ tumblr is. Seems a shame to let years and years of hard work go to ruin. Haven’t posted on it properly since May 2013 but it used to be like one of the biggest art/photo inspo blogs in the world. I’d like to rejuvenate it. Watch this space.

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2010 - 42-20 Chrono (tortoiseshell) 2011 - Kensington (chromacoat) 2014 - Time Teller P (translucent) 2015 - Monopoly (gunmetal/multi) 2016 - Small Time Teller (rose gold/cobalt) 2017 - Time Teller (all black/rose gold)

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At the moment on my desk I have 3 phones, 2 kindles, 2 laptops and 2 microphones. I didn’t realise I’ve become such a tech whore until right this second.

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Valentines

2013

I met somebody I’d known for a long time online in the flesh the week before. We got on like a house on fire. I couldn’t really grasp it. We had plans to meet the next week. He fucked me over a month later.

2014

I started talking to a guy on Tinder a couple of days before, he was stood up on his first date so I spent Valentines chatting to him while watching Camp Takota. He friendzoned my but now he’s one of my best friends.

2015

I’d met up with a guy I knew from Twitter a week before and I thought he was so promising. We lived in different cities so I hadn’t seen him since, but I happened to be driving past his city on the 16th and I was smitten. We dated until June and I broke his heart on holiday.

2016

My long-distance boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me 4 days before Valentines. I couldn’t accept it, I thought it could still work out, we had big plans. On Valentines he put a stake in it for good.

Why is Valentines such a romantically contentious time for me?! By Valentines 2017 I vow to either be in a happy stable relationship or be happily single. I vow to be romantically happy.

Update 2017

HA. HAHA ha. Started seeing someone a couple of weeks before Valentines, he was keen but very very busy and shit at communication. I messaged him on V day to see if he was still into it and he rang and we had a lovely chat and made lunch plans. 3 weeks later he said his head/heart wasn’t in it.

Update 2018

Started dating someone in December, he cooked me steak on Valentines and we had a lovely night in. 4 months later and still going strong, I guess I broke the curse <3

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So tonight I presented an ultimatum to my long-distance lover. Proper relationship or it’s over. I ended up on the phone with him for 2 hours; it started with him breaking up with me and ended with him committing to me..

the breakup part though. It was so so shit. I can’t even describe. We had plans, big plans. I had plane tickets pending, I had visas waiting to be filed. And *poof* all gone. Soul ripped out. The worst is that neither of us wanted it to end, but at that time it felt like the right decision to him. Having to say ‘I hate that I’m never going to be able to kiss you again’ felt soo unnatural and horrible. He can’t leave me, I wasn’t prepared for it. I love him. Love is complicated. At least we’re giving it a go.

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Watching your boyfriend play sick guitar at a live gig is the sexiest thing ever

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most of the battles are against apathy

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Leaving people is the worst. I've been away from the man I love for 25 hours now, a whole ocean separates us. I feel very fragile. Missing our snuggles so much I have to wrap my arms around myself to fall asleep.

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Overused my superpower picking up spoons at dinner tonight and now my finger aches

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I got a magnet implanted in my finger today

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When I'm at art school my desk descends into disarray

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A Love Story

and feel you and kiss you and touch you You're a fantastic kisser Kissing you in the bar turned me on so much hugging, touching, kissing, talking, laughing Kissing you was great, so great. I'm looking forward to kissing you hopefully I get it. I want to kiss you too so. Awkward cheek kisses amount to nice mouth kisses though your snark, your impeccable kisses *kiss emoji but my keyboard doesn't have emojis* nice just cuddling and kissing naked in bed with you perfectly happy with just kissing and cuddling And touch, and tease, and kiss hmmmhmmmmm I wish I could kiss your face right now and run off to steal kisses? Can't wait to kiss you everywhere Looking forward to kissing you also Wish I could kiss you xxzz really missing your kisses Not being able to kiss you all the time is torture been thinking about kissing you all day, no joke I wish I could just kiss you instead of wishing about it Waiting to kiss you though I can't wait to kiss your lips miss you and wanna kiss you miss you and want to kiss you and wake you up with kisses can't wait to see you and kiss you Missing your kisses a lot I want to kiss your neck rip off your bra while kissing you passionately I'd kiss your neck. Heck I'd bite it. feed it to you while I kiss you so cute I'd have to kiss you all over and I'd probably wake you up reaaaaally miss your kisses I want your kisses constantly and everlastingly 3-weeks-ago-me who got to kiss you all the time and didn't think a thing of it. Kissing you was great! p.s. I'll kiss you again soonish I promise waking you up by fondling and kissing you....I would love to do that (the waking up by kisses part) I would kiss you so hard and passionately all over your every limb and kiss them and caress them and cherish you covered in candles and slow kisses and mmmmmmm

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Malignant, polarising, perfect

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Life Update

woah I haven’t written on this blog in over 2 months when I used to do it obsessively. It kind of reminds me of what I said in this video about adaptability. But I thought I'd just check in now for posterity.

So last time I was like “I’m super happy but I don’t have any money!” and now I have all the money! I was too late applying for that job I wanted last time, but then they called me up out of the blue ~6 weeks ago saying they desperately needed another developer - full time - and I said yes! After the major launch a week and a half ago I've settled into working 3 days a week there for £250 a day. It’s pretty much the dream.

In other news, I’m in love. He’s wonderful. He’s coming with me to New York for a week before I head off to camp, and then after camp I’m going on a road trip with my 2 best friends for a fortnight before heading back to uni. On some planes I really don’t want to head back to camp or uni, I’d rather just get an exciting job and be an adult and not be separated from my boyfriend for 3 months, but I’m going to make the most of it.

I’ve given up on the idea that I have to have my own time and be calm and do certain tasks to be happy and feel happy. Life is happening, and I’m on for the ride.

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I've become super self concious about my teeth in the last 48 hours. I'm going to get invisalign the next time I randomly have £4000

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GUYS!

It's just occurred to me that everything vaguely recent on this blog has been profoundly negative so I thought I'd share my current state of mind to counterbalance the past couple of months.

I feel so so good!!!!

I mean, I still don't have any money, but I've realised that I'm really awesome, I have all the time in the world, and I have skills that people pay a lot for. I got a job about a month ago assisting on a Saturday course on front-end web development (i.e. my shit), and this week they want me to lead the class which is cool. Also I applied for the perrrffect job the other day (£200/day, 3days/week, for 4 months up until I go to America) and I can totally do it. I haven't heard back from them yet but even if I don't get it WHO CARES because I'm worth £200 a day.

I met a really great guy a couple of weeks ago and he's sort of reminded me how infinite my future can be. Also I'm kind of smitten.

Aaaand I've come up with an idea for my dissertation, and for the whole of my jewellery studies next year which I'm excited about. It all revolves around organic coding and 3d printing but I don't want to learn Python to use in Rhino so I'm going to learn Processing and import it instead, then I took a look at Processing and it has all the same logic as js for canvas so really I can already do it. *happy dance* going to make some crazy visualisations.

aLSO I've got ideas for my youtube channel that would be super awesome. My booktube channel needs a website which will become the center of its book universe and I'm going to turn my other ('main') channel into a blogcast (naming still up for discussion) which is a new format I'm inventing and I JUST WANT TO DO/START EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.