I could practically feel Calvin’s excitement from the thirty mile distance between his school and the apartment.
I had been listening to his radio since, honestly, what else was I going to do.
The radio’s electric words spoke about the most recent update on that planet that Calvin was always raving about. I had heard dad talking about it the other day over the phone with a coworker, how it could possibly be a great source of energy if it we were somehow able to capture the planet. Though, that would be impossible. And even if it was possible, no one would try it as it sounds ridiculous.
The radio spoke.
“Today on NYSN, we have an extra special report on the rogue planet TARPT-R5F.”
Oh goody, what would it be this time, more conspiracy theories.
“What we had originally thought to be a burning fragment of the planet flying ahead of it, has turned out to be an inhabitant of said planet.”
What?
Holy shit. What? Are… Are they saying that Calvin was right?
“This inhabitant has come to our planet to inform us of what is to come. A recording of an interview between the Extraterrestrial and a NASA researcher has been provided to us to educate the masses.” There was a noise, then the conversation started.
“Hello, this is Helena Klerk, here with one of the extraterrestrials from the planet TARPT-R5F, here to conduct an interview with such being. Believe it or not, their language is extremely similar to ours. Now sir, would you mind introducing yourself?”
“Hello, my name is Jimmy, a pink blood from the northern zone of Namulia, or, as you all seem to call it, TARPT-R5F.”
Jimmy? Really? This had to be fake.
“We have a plethora of questions to ask you, Jimmy, and we’ll start with, what I’m sure everyone else listening is thinking; Why is your name one that sounds very earth-like?”
“Oh it’s because I’m quite old, We try our best not to reuse names for our inhabitants, thankfully I spawned before they had to start using objects as names.” Jimmy chuckles.
“Is that so? Still, we’d like to know why it seems to be an earth name, has your species been watching us?”
“No we haven’t been watching you all, personally I can’t believe your species hasn’t figured it out, we have sent our own down here before.” He pauses, “Though I assume that was quite a while ago now” His voice was quiet. “I don’t know if you’re ready for me to absolutely destroy every single religion.”
“Excuse me?” She sounded confused.
“So, what if I told you if you die, you don’t go to heaven, hell, or wherever else that different religions like to say you go. The closest your people have gotten is probably reincarnation.”
“That’s incredible. Are you saying that… Your species is reincarnated humans?”
“Bullseye!” Jimmy chuckles again. “Lemme tell you that whenever any of your religious people get to our planet they lose their minds.”
“Would you mind elaborating on how that happens?”
“Of course! So, first off, we have this system on our planet where it takes the energy signals that humans let out when they die and creates a new body for those signals, completely copying them into that Namus mind,”
“Namu?”
“Yes, our species name is “Namulians” or “Namus” for short. We’re called that since, you know, we live on a planet called “Namulia”.”
“Ah, I see. Do you know how your species came to be?”
“No ones exactly sure, but, from what we heard from a select few Namus who have been on the planet since the beginning, the creator is living in the core of the planet.”
“How is that possible?”
“Well, presumably he died from some sort of fire or something so he would have no trouble living there.”
“Please elaborate.”
“Oh yeah! Forgot to say that we are completely immune to whatever we died from as a human”
“Anything?”
“Mhmm! We even got these weird Namus that died with their body completely obliterated, so their body on Namulia is like, all unstable and stuff. Kinda like some sort of goo.”
“Fascinating. And what happens when a Namu dies?”
“We get spawned one more time, but after that one we can’t respawn again. But hey, that’s a good trade off for getting our human memories back”
“Do you not remember them the first time you die?”
“Not at all, a lot of us see that as a good thing, however. It’s kinda like… Starting over.”
“I see,” There is the sound of ruffling papers. “Could you tell me about anything that differs from our language and your own?”
“Of course! So, first off, some words in your vocabulary have no meaning in our own. Like, um, for example how about boy and girl? Or man and woman, or any gendered terms to be honest.”
“Does your society not have genders then?”
“No we do, it’s just not like your own. Our gender system is based more on our blood colors, though, recently there have been Namus using the earthian gender system. For example, I have pink blood, meaning I would be called pi or pir.”
“What other blood colors are there?”
“Any color you could imagine. Pink, blue, red, yellow, black, green, etcetera.”
“Doesn’t it get confusing with so many?”
“Not really, we’ve been living there for over three billion years. So it’s kinda easy to get used to.”
“I see.” She ruffles more papers, at least, I assumed it was her messing with the papers. “Could you describe what you look like to our listeners?”
“Yes, so, first off, imagine like a human but with a slight snout. And also covered in feathers”
“That description is, um, frankly terrifying compared to how you actually look.”
“It’s not that far off though. We wear something similar to human shirts, except they are attached to us, and made of a material similar to our skin.”
“Oh! I was not aware that was skin. Is it alright if I touch it.”
“Go ahead!” Movement is heard, presumably from the alien moving.
“Interesting.” More movement.
“Our biology is a bit weird though, whereas humans have ribs, we have more of a breast plate. And our heart is located in the exact middle of our chests.”
“Fascinating.” Papers ruffle. “Our next question is about what types of flora and fauna you have on your planet?”
“To be honest there isn’t much, we don’t have any other animals on the planet other than us. And plants have only began to grow recently due to our own terraforming.”
“How long do your species live then?”
“We live until something kills us.”
“You must have quite the overpopulation issue then.” She chuckles.
“Oh not at all, our respawn system is somehow setup to spread out each spawning across time. We’re not even sure how exactly it works.”
“Your species has essentially created time travel then?”
“More or less, yes we have.”
“That’s incredible!”
“I mean, it helps with overpopulation, which looks like is your world’s problem”
“Can you tell me more about the “respawn system”?”
“Sure, so, first off, it takes different energies from five different universes, four without a respawn system, and one, our own, with one.”
“I’m sorry are you telling me the multiverse theory is true?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
The creak of a chair could be heard, and then afterwards a very quiet “oh my god.”
“You’re getting all this right?” She said to someone, presumably the person recording. “Alright,”
“So, can you elaborate on what you told us earlier, about the trajectory of your planet?”
Another creak could be heard.
“Our planet seems to be in trajectory with your own, but you have no need to worry. We are only here to orbit your planet. As your movies seem to like aliens to say, we come in peace.”
“And that is it for the interview that we received. During this broadcast, we have been informed that their planet will be in orbit of ours in the next few years, and we should welcome them with open arms.”
The radio returns to its commercials.
Holy shit.
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