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INDIE & SELECTIVE MIXED MEDIA MULTIMISE. CHAOS CREATION FROM NOAH ( HE / HIM. BORN '94. ) READ RULES BEFORE INTERACTION !

" I AM MY OWN CRUEL GOD FOR GOD IS IN THE SELF AND I AM ALL THAT I CAN AND EVER WILL BE."

navigation: rules & muses. memes. open starters. wishlist.

blog roll: dean winchester. emerson campbell. canon multi sideblog.

affiliated with: magdalena. lexie. sage. titan. maddie. jd. jackie. patrick. alice. billie. nikko. alilew. dixon. veronica.

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4hrs of sleep oh boy lol anyway tiktok is giving me vids of asssad zaman and i absolutely adore him he seems so silly

[ofmanderley]

HVITSERK RAGNARSSON - VIKINGS S4, S5 + S6.

[odenquirk]

Ryan Gosling in The United States of Leland

[candiedgrace]

"Unlikely. Have you met our brother...no seriously -- have you?" Gabriel asks, one brow nearly reaching his hairline it goes so high. He brings it down a little, too dramatic. Middle of the forehead is the right spot of disbelief mixed with disapproval. C'mon, Balthazar. Get real, like Castiel could manage to deal with emotions outside of his own. "He can barely process a sentence, if I tried to introduce a feeling to it I'd be watching him process for weeks. You get what I'm saying. At least better than him."

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castiel was certainly complex and strange, even amongst the rest of the host. balthazar wasn't sure how that had happened - hell, he wasn't sure how it had happened that castiel had willingly let himself fall, all for a winchester. for michael's vessel.

the angel pours himself a glass of whiskey, something top shelf that his vessel had spent good money on. the glass is then picked up and he takes a sip. humans have such interesting habits and desires.

"i know that you being here is a risk. what if your visit makes someone upstairs realise i'm still alive? how would that help me? i don't want to fight in that war."

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sometimes i think about the fact that antony starr wears fuckboi cologne and that makes me so happy

[sleepyames]

A little encouragement! 

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this is so your muse and ryland on a planetarium date coded

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lestat has rejection sensitivity. to the point of even just telling him no gets a rise out of him.

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will finish my lestat starters tomorrow. in the meantime please take these photos of emori daenerys greyjoy.

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at least once i think lestat needs to sing jolene by dolly parton

[myaskboxmemes]

Send me a url and I'll write some positivity for it.

[indiereminders]

reminder, in case nobody has told you lately: you are valued in the rpc. thank you for being here. every single one of you is sharing a little part of your creativity with us all, putting a little part of yourself into a character you love, and sharing your talent with us. 

even if you feel like you aren’t getting as many interactions as you want to, or you’re disappointed that nobody is telling you that you’re doing a good job, i am proud of you. you are sharing your writing with the world, you are pouring life into a character you love and/or have created, and i think that’s amazing. 

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@hexsreality

with the pad of his thumb, he wipes blood from off his bottom lip and then sucks it clean off his finger. leftovers from the meal just had. the body already disposed of. he looks to this strange woman now in his way, annoyance creasing his features for a moment. "perhaps you could move out of the way, darling. i'm clearly trying to walk," gestures with his hand for wanda to move.

of course, lestat could be the one to move instead. the only issue is, of course, his pride. tries plastering on a fake smile as if meant to charm. "places to be, people to eat," he adds.

[eidetic187]

          David looks confused, as if he hadn't expected an apology; && when he speaks, apologizing himself, it's quite obvious why he hadn't been. The guilt that Spencer had spent years burying && ignoring surfaces again all at once, twisting his gut so severely it almost makes him nauseous. He had never meant to make David feel like he'd done something wrong, but he supposes he'd never really thought about how David would feel, waking up alone after a night like that. All he'd been thinking about was himself && his mother, how he couldn't risk arrest, couldn't risk anything or anyone keeping him from helping his mom. Intention really didn't matter when you hurt someone, && it's clear that intentionally or otherwise, Spencer had hurt David quite a bit when he'd vanished.

          The guilt is thick in his throat && he can't even appreciate the stretch of David's shirt across his body or the strands of hair that separate from the gel that slicks the rest back; it's hard to even look at David, but he forces himself too, lest that be misconstrued. He feels enough guilt, no need to make David feel worse. He should interrupt him, tell him he has nothing to be sorry for, but it's hard to with the lump in his throat, a lump that only grows larger the more David apologizes.

          Then their eyes meet, && Spencer fights hard against the urge to look away. There's nothing but sincerity in David's eyes alongside the years of hurt from blaming himself. The nervous fiddling with his own fingers stops so he can instead squeeze his hands together, the pressure keeping him grounded against the tidal wave of regret that threatens to knock him over.

          David keeps talking, && as much as Spencer's remorse continues to grow, there's a bit of contrasting warmth that hits him, both from the brush of David's hand against his shoulder, && the words he says. It's good to know that everything Spencer had felt back then, at least, had been mutual. It had been hard to run, truthfully, but back then he would've done anything to keep his mother under the care she needed. Still would, it was just much easier, now.

          Then there's more apologies, && an invitation to dinner that Spencer wants so badly to take, but he can't under the guise of David thinking he has anything to make up for. He can't take any more apologies, he can't listen to David continuing to blame himself for something that was entirely Spencer's fault.

        ❛❛ Stop, stop. Stop apologizing, you haven't — you didn't do anything wrong. ❜❜ He tries to keep his voice steady, but it wavers subtly. He takes in a steadying breath, an attempt to stem the tide. ❛❛ It wasn't you, it was — it was all me. ❜❜ His gaze darts around the room briefly again, the movements of his hands resuming as he starts fiddling with his fingers again. His gaze darts back to David's again && there's a beat, 2, 3 where he holds his breath, && then his explanation rushes out of him. ❛❛ I was gambling with a fake ID back then, David. Had been for 2 years — I was 20, when we met. I needed the money to pay for my mom's medical bills, and if I dropped out of college to make the money a more legal way she never would've forgiven me. I knew — I knew you probably wouldn't arrest me, that you'd probably understand, but I…I wasn't 100% sure, and I couldn't take that risk. So I ran. ❜❜

          He shifts to crossing his arms over his chest, hands rubbing over either opposite bicep to soothe. ❛❛ I guess, in a way, you did frighten me, but…but you couldn't have known. So please stop blaming yourself. ❜❜ Please, if he felt anymore guilty it would consume him whole.

        ❛❛ And for the record, I liked you a lot, too. It was not an easy decision to run away like that. I don't… ❜❜ Here he laughs, light && short but still genuine. ❛❛ I'd never done that before, and I've never done that since, you know?? Gone — Gone home — or, I guess, to a hotel room — with a stranger, I mean. ❜❜ His expression becomes almost wistful. ❛❛ It just felt…different, with you. I don't know, I'd never — I'd never gotten that kind of attention before, especially not from someone that looked like you. But it was more than that — I don't know if I could phrase it any better than you did; it felt like I'd known you longer than that one night. ❜❜

            Spencer didn't believe in love at first sight, but there had definitely been something between them all those years ago. Some kind of spark that was a lot stronger than it should have been after mere hours of knowing each other. Something that made it so that even years later, Spencer still felt that pull, that spark, drawing him to David && begging for more.

        ❛❛ I would like to go to dinner with you. But it doesn't need to be an apology; I'd really rather it wasn't, because you have nothing to apologize for. It could just be…a normal dinner. Picking up where we left off?? ❜❜ The look he gives David is hopeful; he hopes that after everything he'd just revealed, they could still try again.

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there had never been anyone before or since spencer that david had felt that immediate connection with. the feeling had wrapped around his heart so completely in a way he'd never expected or known. as if his very soul had gone, 'of course, there you are. i was waiting,' upon meeting spencer. it had felt like meeting someone he'd always known and carried with him. waking up that morning he'd known before his eyes were open that there was something wrong. some sense of missing in the lack of warmth provided by a body next to him. and he'd had to wonder what he'd done to chase away someone it felt like he'd been meant to meet.

he has to admit that when spencer had walked through the precinct doors, his heart had skipped a beat or five. that feeling washing over him again, years later of knowing and belonging. like fate was raising her brow at them for fumbling it the first time. he'd been so surprised to see spencer. but he'd barely allowed himself to dwell on it because those kids that had gone missing were more important first and foremost.

now here they were and the apologies were easier to roll off his tongue than he'd worried they would be. because truth be told, he'd wound himself up to hope that maybe if he said the right words and expressed himself and his remorse the right way they could try again. feelings of love and first sight are rare, in david's opinion, and he knows that if he lets spencer leave without trying, that he'll regret it for the rest of his life. he knows that its luck beyond luck that they're even together again.

when spencer tells him to stop apologizing, he does. lets the words die out in his mouth and swallows back anxiety and fear he hasn't felt since he was young and hopeful and new to the force. that kind of anxiety that makes his mouth go dry at the thought of talking to someone pretty. pretty like spencer. and he's learned to be charming, to be more confident than most people. but spencer makes him think he might fumble his words. fills his stomach with butterflies. in all the people he's dated or slept with since, none have made him feel the way spencer does.

the explanation isn't something he could have ever guessed. spencer had been fulfilling the role of dutiful and loving son. something that david had a hard time putting himself in the shoes of. ( he had gone no contact with his own mother before he'd even joined the police academy. ) but for spencer it makes sense that he loves his mother so much that he would risk getting himself in trouble just to pay for her medical bills. and he wants to slap himself for thinking it was anything less selfless of spencer. wants to kiss spencer right then and there and tell him how amazing he found it that someone could love so much that they'd do anything for them.

"i'm glad it wasn't a one sided feeling," because it had been so strong. so intense. even now he felt the pull of it. and maybe feeling so close to someone so quickly should frighten them both. but david only feels calm to know that the emotion was reciprocated. "i'm glad i didn't hurt you or offend you," and now he reaches out again, takes spencer's hand. because he can't be so close to the other and not feel the warmth of his skin again. spencer is like a siren call. and david is weak for it. wants to do more than take his hand.

it feels like no time has passed as all. it feels like an eternity has gone by. but it mostly feels like he's known spencer longer than he's known himself. the explanation filling him with the feeling of oh, of course. as if he should have known all along what had happened and why. as if they should have skipped all of this awkwardness and gone straight to knowing each other. but life doesn't work like that and so david has to remind himself that all he can do is learn who spencer is and be happy to learn it.

"picking up where we left off," he echoes, nodding once and feeling the weight of worry lifted from his shoulders. "i've thought about you and our night together so often over the years," he admits, "that i can't imagine doing anything else other than moving forward with you. i want to get the chance to know you so well that the knowledge catches up to the feeling that i already do."

"my shift is over. my car is out in the lot and if you like chinese food then i could drive us to restaurant i like," he offers. for the first time in a while, he smiles. soft and small and only for spencer. "i would really love picking up where we left off and seeing where it takes us."

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@vcmpiredctor

intrigued enough to come be a bit of an annoyance to this other vampire. had strolled into the doctor's office like he owned the place. like all eyes were on him. and now sat on the exam table. "vampire doctor? isn't that a cliche, non?" drapes one leg over the other as he lifts the corner of his mouth into a playful grin.

he wants to know if this is some new, clever way to get blood. to immerse oneself in human society in a way thats important to further gain down the line. he's curious. and plus, he has no one to bother today anyway and felt bored and lonely. "maybe we can play doctor?"

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gonna go get taco bell and then i will work on starters for lestat