Turn Off A Switch

"There is nothing easy about taking a man’s life no matter how little value it may have. But when you get it done, you have to forget it. I guess I haven’t quite got that last part down." -independent roleplay blog for Shane Walsh from the walking dead-

[reverendshanex]

Times Like These-Rick&Shane-HIGH SCHOOL AU

[notthegoodgrimes]

He stared after Shane as he stood there, face aching like hell as he wached her. He swallowed down harshly, sharp breaths thickening in his throat like a sandpaper feeling going down.

“That’s all that’s gonna happen?” Rick called out, head tilting very slightly, brows tensing. Shane hated him now, he could see the way that it showed in the tension of his back, of his shoulders.

That’s it? Just get up and go? Just get up and head away from this place like nothing had ever happened? Like he and Ana had simply been nothing but a one night thing?

“Y’gonna send me away and let your dad go in there and beat her up a bit more? That what y’want to happen?” he demanded, stepping forward, hardened expression written across his face as he stepped closer, reaching out and gripping Shane’s shoulder to get him to turn around.

He didn’t need to know that Shane hated him, didn’t need to know that his best friend was gone from him. And for what? For the simple thought of being close to a woman who he had fallen in love with?

[reverendshanex]

Rick had reached and touched him. And he wanted to push him away. Push him to the ground and beat him up pretty good. He wanted to make him know that the thing that he had done was bad, wrong. That he had screwed up worse than Shane ever could have. Guilt though. Was that what this was about? Who was the bigger screw up of the two?

But this man was his brother. Someone he had grown up with. Thick and thin. That’s what it was supposed to be. Hell, blood wasn’t thicker than water when it came to the two of them. Rick wasn’t as close to Jeff as he was to Shane. Brothers. 

And they had been in the outs a couple of times before. They had fought and just got on again. That was the way it worked. because there was a bond there. One that shouldn’t be snapped because of stupid ass mistakes.

“Don’t talk about my dad, man.” And his tone had changed. Lessened it’s edge. Because he didn’t want to hate Rick. But he knew that he would if he had to. He would.

He looked back at him one more time.

“Go home.”

[reverendshanex]

Times Like These-Rick&Shane-HIGH SCHOOL AU

[notthegoodgrimes]

He thought for a moment to do just that. Pick up his tail and head the hell out of there because if there was one thing anyone learned, it was not to . piss off Shane Walsh. His fist was like iron when it connected with his face but Rick knew better than to run, he knew that running meant full fledged guilt. Running meant that he was weak and that was exactly the way that Shane was gonna be treating him. So in spite of the way his face felt like it had just split in two he stood his ground, knowing anyone would call him an outright fool.

[reverendshanex]

“I’m not going anywhere.” he replied with a shake of his head, hands lifting in defense. He spoke around the thick of blood in his mouth but he didn’t spit it out. That too would be weakness. Couldnt handle the hits. He knew Shane inside out. He had his respect before he wasnt sure if he could gain it back in quite the same way, but he knew the building blocks towards it. Even if those blocks were all kinds of shaken up already.

He didnt say anything else because Rick, at this point, didnt care if he told his dad. He loved Ana, loved her the way his dad had confessed to loving his mom. He said you only loved one person right and you were lucky if they became yours. Wasnt it his right to fight for that? Even if there was that slight, nagging feeling of guilt and absolute infidelity. Love meant the world and if there was no world what the hell else did they have? Shane had to understand that, didn’t he?

A sigh of defeat parted from him and he dropped his eyes. Smooth this over, add a little balm and see where they ended up. His hand came up to smear the blood from his face. That copper taste rose up and that’s when he spit it out. Luckily no teeth came with it. “Listen…Shane…just let me talk to her real quick before I leave, alright?”

He didn’t think Rick would have stood there and made it like he was right. Like he was supposed to be there. Like it was his right to invade what belonged to his dad. Because that was his dad’s place, that his mom, his dad’s wife, and Rick had no right screwing with that.

“That’s my mom, she’s married to my dad.”

And it sounded like a little kid explaining something. Like Shane was the stupid one here in the bunch of the two of them. He looked over at the house. And saw his mom watching. Her face was pinched. She looked on edge.

She used to say that his dad used to get into a lot of fights. She told him that when he had come home from junior high all bruised and beaten, his hands all scraped up. She had asked him not to be like that. That was when he first got to thinking that his mom didn’t love his old man anymore.

“Tell you what, you can go on ahead and talk to her once my dad gets back.”

And he was already starting away from him. Back to the house. He wouldn’t be able to look at his mom the same anymore. She wasn’t really his mom anymore. She was something else. She was-- he wouldn’t say what she was.

His dad had to handle it. But while he was gone he was gonna make sure nothing went on anymore. He wanted to hate Rick. He regretted that it was him. Why him? That was something he had to ask his mom if he could get himself to look at her. 

[reverendshanex]

Times Like These-Rick&Shane-HIGH SCHOOL AU

[notthegoodgrimes]

He expected a hit, expected a split lip and maybe a way to nurse a black eye. But he only got a shove and he groaned a little at the contact he made with the wall. A sigh left his lips and he closed his lips, hissing lightly as  he tried to right himself again.

But not too much. Didn’t want Shane to think he didn’t do enough damage.

“This-” he trailed off, knowing what he wanted to say but also knowing how bad it would sound. Knowing that Shane wouldn’t go for any kind of crap like that.

“-it’s ‘bout me. Me and my-” he paused again, finally fully righting himself, adjusting himself somewhat. He steeled himself for a hit this time, jaw tensing as he held his best friends eyes. This was the end, wasn’t it?

If it was the end might as well tell the truth- that’s how he saw it anyways.

“I love her.” and it was set in stone. Just like that but he couldn’t take it back. Couldn’t take back the feeling that he felt inside when he looked up at her when she leaned over him, pulling her hair back from his face as a sigh left her lips with each slow caress up her back. or that smile that made him feel like this was the only right thing he’d ever done in his life. It was crazy, so damned crazy but he couldn’t deny it- and he really didn’t want to anymore.

“That’s it. That’s what this is about.”

[reverendshanex]

Love. He loved his mom. That sounded almost ridiculous. That sounded stupid and pathetic. And he wanted to laugh. If only he wasn’t so damned pissed off. If only he hadn’t caught them in the act. He could’ve handled this when they were kids. Some crush that he would’ve thought was pretty damn gross. Crush at 10 was acceptable. Screwing his mom, saying he loved her, in his dad’s place. Hell, that was a completely different story.

This time he did hit him. He heard a crack when his fist connected to his face. And there was warmth because one of them was bleeding. And his hand was already achy.

“You don’t.”

And he hit him again across the face. He wanted to keep it up. Because talking it through wasn’t going to cut it. That was his mom. Out of all the people in the world. That was his mom. And someone else touching her was a disgrace. His dad wasn’t here to defend her. He had to.

But she had done it, too. And with his best friend.

“You don’t love her. So, you’re gonna get the hell out of here and not come ‘round here again. If you don’t want me to tell my dad. Go on, now.”

[rickshithappens]

RICK GRIMES APPRECIATION WEEK | Day 03. FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP ↳ Rick & Shane.

“ You think I’d shoot Rick? That is my best friend. That’s the man that I love, I love him like he’s my brother. “

[king--harvelle]

          “Blood makes you related but                      loyalty makes you family.”

[reverendshanex]

Times Like These-Rick&Shane-HIGH SCHOOL AU

[notthegoodgrimes]

Rick dragged himself practically out of the house and slipped outside. He knew what was going to be said. He knew that Shane was probably going to take a few swings and try to get Rick to tell him that he wasn’t going to see her. That was what the terms were going to be, if he knew Shane any better.

Thing was he wasn’t too sure that he wanted to concede to the idea that this was where they were at now. Betrayal and fights trampling them all over the place, But they could get through it. Rick knew they could, they always did.

He stopped walking and stood directly in front of Shane, looking across at his friend and offering a small shake of his head, low breath coming from his parted lips.

He could still smell Ana on his clothes, could still feel her warmth. She was sweet in the kind of way that threaded them together, the kind of delicacy that most men never went and felt before. For one reason or another he felt alive with her and he wasn’t sure why, he just knew how he felt and he knew that it was the only reason why he’d come back here this whole time.

"Look, brother, I didn’t do this because of…what happened to us, alright?" He stated, eyes looking up at Shane from beneath his brows as he held his friend’s eyes. Would he be able to see the truth between them?

"Y’know that, don’t you?"

[reverendshanex]

So he was being the diplomat, was he? Trying to make up some kind of reason for him. That was his mom. And he didn’t think that there was any real reason for a guy hopping into bed with his best friend’s mom. Was there?

It was funny how people talked a lot about heat when they got pissed off. They said rage burned. That it came with a fever. It wasn’t like that for him. The good things brought him a fever. The bad things gave him the cold. An icy feeling. Deep in his chest.

He moved forward and grabbed him by his collar. He shoved him into the wall. “What the hell were you think, man?” he demanded. His grip on his shirt was so tight that his knuckles turned white. Maybe he was trying not to hit him.

But he should hit him. He should beat the crap out of him right then and there. And then his mom would come out and yell at the both of them. Rick would go home and his mom would give him an earful before going to call Rick more than likely.

And then what would that have proved? What would that have done? He shoved him an extra time, hoping that hurt him enough before letting him go.

“What the hell were you thinking, man? Why the hell would you do something so stupid? What is this about then?”

[alwayswithinmysight]

[ainomukidashi]

The Walking Dead (2015) S05E11 The Distance

[elijahgurl77]

Oh Judith….could she be more cute?!?!

[thewalkinggifs]

Judith Little Ass-kicker “Nive Lives” Grimes

[reverendshanex]

Times Like These-Rick&Shane-HIGH SCHOOL AU

[reverendshanex]

notthegoodgrimes

And he felt it. That brunt of shame that felt terribly like it existed solely to fall there on him. He wanted to hide, wanted for Shane to have come on over minutes later when things weren’t as ruined as they were now. But here they were and Rick felt just a little uncertain about where things would go now.

Could they fall any further?

"It ain’t what you’re thinking, Shane." But it was and Rick’s expression no doubt admitted to that. He sighed heavily and moved on towards him, eyes solidly looking at his best friend and silently asking him to look past this.

'I didn't do this to hurt you'

"Can we talk?" And there was a plea in his eyes that he wasn’t sure Shane would even care to pick up on. A plea that sounded honest and yet too bitterly revealed. He hadn’t wanted to give in and yet this moment proved to have belonged to them, if only for them to concede to the others need to be apart of each other’s lives again.

"Staying for dinner?" Ana asked, tucking her hair back behind her ears. But she didn’t look apologetic as much as she looked completely worn. Rick wasn’t even sure if that meant she still wanted this to happen.

What the hell was this anyways?

Talk. He wasn't so sure what they were going to talk about. That was his mom. Rick had been going where he had no business going. And his mom was playing it off all casual. No big deal like. And asking him about dinner. He didn't want dinner. He wanted to break Rick's nose and maybe call up his old man. Make sure that this shit never happened again.

He didn't know what to say to Rick. Didn't know if he could actually go outside and talk to him. He couldn't figure out what the hell Rick was thinking. He didn't think that he wanted to know what Rick had been thinking.

"Fine." he said, letting out a heavy breath. Not wanting to bring much of a fight in front of his mom. Even though he was mad at her. He had to be mad at her. His dad was out on the road, working. Always working. And here she was screwing his best friend.

He turned around and walked out the door. Ignoring his moms question and stepping outside, out into the warm air. It did little to cool him under the collar. He didn't think that he could calm down. They weren't gonna have much of a chat, were they? Same old same.

Rick had it in for him for Sam. That much was obvious. But there was no way in hell anything would've changed that girls mind. She had herself mapped out pretty good and she knew what she wanted. It was a low blow. He hadn't thought Rick could sink that low.

[reverendshanex]

Times Like These-Rick&Shane-HIGH SCHOOL AU

[notthegoodgrimes]

And he felt it. That brunt of shame that felt terribly like it existed solely to fall there on him. He wanted to hide, wanted for Shane to have come on over minutes later when things weren’t as ruined as they were now. But here they were and Rick felt just a little uncertain about where things would go now.

Could they fall any further?

"It ain’t what you’re thinking, Shane." But it was and Rick’s expression no doubt admitted to that. He sighed heavily and moved on towards him, eyes solidly looking at his best friend and silently asking him to look past this.

'I didn't do this to hurt you'

"Can we talk?" And there was a plea in his eyes that he wasn’t sure Shane would even care to pick up on. A plea that sounded honest and yet too bitterly revealed. He hadn’t wanted to give in and yet this moment proved to have belonged to them, if only for them to concede to the others need to be apart of each other’s lives again.

"Staying for dinner?" Ana asked, tucking her hair back behind her ears. But she didn’t look apologetic as much as she looked completely worn. Rick wasn’t even sure if that meant she still wanted this to happen.

What the hell was this anyways?

[reverendshanex]

He stood there without any kinda words to say. And what the hell was he supposed to say? That he was pissed off? Remind his mom about his dad? Remind Rick that this was his mom? But none of it seemed to come together much. He didn't have words to push out. They were just cracked things. And he wanted nothing to do with them. Cracks in the atmosphere. Cracks in the room. They were the last things that he wanted.

"No." but he was looking at his mom because he really didn't feel like staying. But maybe he oughta. But what would he do? Get some crap confession outta the both of them, some apologies and then go on back to normal. What would his dad say? Feel?

He let out a heavy sigh and looked between the two of them. He was trying to sort out how the hell this could've happened. It was disturbing to say the least. And he wanted none of it. Payback. The word was whispered in the back of his head. And he had never thought Rick would sink that low. No, truth was he hadn't ever thought Rick would sink to any kinda low at all. Rick was a good man.

"Alright." he said, not sure which one he was talking to. Rick or his mom. They'd think both. And maybe that was the only option he had now. Funny thing was he knew he should've apologized to Rick. Funny thing was he always kinda felt sorry for his mom.

He started towards the door but he gestured for Rick to follow him out. He'd hear him. He knew that he was gonna. That was his brother right there and he had to hear him.

"What the hell was that?" he asked once the front door was shut and his mom was cut off. But she wasn't. She was there in between them and Shane wanted to laugh like it was some kinda sick joke. But he couldn't. Payback. Kept coming up again. But Rick had it all. Why the hell would he need any kinda payback?

[reedusgif]

[gradytraviis]

Turn off a switch.

[cullen-bohannons]

[jonssbernthal]

get to know me meme: favourite relationships (1/5) ↠ rick grimes & shane walsh

[reverendshanex]

Times Like These-Rick&Shane-HIGH SCHOOL AU

[notthegoodgrimes]

His eyes were closed, on the feeling of her breath whispering against his chest and the soft touch of her fingertips trailing behind it. His heart was pulsing at a normal rate and his mind was in one sole direction. Just her, her and him, right here until night passed and he was pulled away from her. His hand was going slowly along her back and he breathed her in- all of her.

Sometimes he wondered what she was doing with him. She could easily leave her husband and the two of them could leave together. She could easily find someone else much better than him, older, more successful- giving her the kind of life that she deserved. Yet here she was, wrapped up in his arms and holding her close against his chest. They were apart of each other, inside and out.

Ever since that first kiss Rick had known that he was lost. There was no turning back.

She lifted her head and he reached out to brush away the mussed strands of her hair from in front of her face. A small smile reached her lips and she lowered her eyes but his gaze was persistent enough that she looked back up at him.

"You’re so beautiful." He whispered to her before he lightly kissed her, brief caress of his lips to hers. She was clinging to him and he felt worthy enough for something- anything. His life wasn’t about making sure he was enough, wasn’t about satisfying people who weren’t ever gonna be satisfied with who he actually was. No this was a whole new stage, the one where he could hold his head high and tell himself that life was going to work itself out one way or another.

Until the door opened and Ana heard Shane’s voice call out. Rick got up, reaching for his shirt and buttoning it up.

"Shane?" Ana called, pushing her hand back through her hair as she adjusted her dress. "What are you doing here?" She was trying to stall him.

[reverendshanex]

He looked at his mom a moment and it was an image he didn't really wanna see. Her fixing herself like that, suggesting something had happened with her. Girls he went around with fixed themselves like that sometimes when they got caught by a boyfriend or their old man. He didn't like the way that looked. He took a step towards her and then looked around the place.

"Dad back?" he asked, furrowing his brows together as he looked at her. But she let out a small laugh and shook her head. "Someone here?" he asked, trying to smile because he wanted to believe it was nothing.

He moved into the living room and then he saw Rick. That made him want to laugh only he couldn't. He knew that he couldn't. It was a heavy blow to him seeing Rick standing there like that. He looked between the two of them, back and forth, back and forth.

He offered something of a dried up smile. One that was so damn small it didn't even seem to fit on his face. He let out a scoff and then looked down, rubbing at the back of his neck. He looked back at Rick now, not at his mom. Couldn't look at his mom. Didn't want to think she'd do something like that. Even if his old man was bad, what about him? Rick was his brother. Or he had been. Until Sam.

"Haven't seen you 'round much, man. Funny I should be able to find you here, right at home, ain't it?"